Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 23 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[bythesea82]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

jady my losses have all been at 6 weeks (apart from the 12 week chromosome one) so an early scan would help reassure me. Our local private scan place scan from 5 weeks but do say to wait till 7 weeks for a more reassuring scan. I managed to hold out till then last time as I didn't have the spotting I'd had at 5 weeks with earlier losses. If I get pg again I'll struggle to not scan every week!

erica great news on the scan. Like you and cat I've decided talking about MC is the way to go. I think I made a few people uncomfortable today when a friend/colleague asked how Cov went. She was genuinely interested but the other four people looked really uncomfortable when I was discussing womb linings, prog and my chances next time! I figure if I listen politely to new grandchildren talk and look excited, they can put up with a bit of MC chat from me! (I'm a sad, vindictive bitch clearly!)

cat you will soon have little kitten in your arms and all your worries will be gone (well replaced by other more everyday ones but not as MC shitty!)

march glad you're feeling a bit better. Your dp sounds lovely. We know whatever is said in here is tinged with lots of other stresses!

just I'm sure you'll soon have the feeding cracked and little Scott at home for snuggles.

purple how are you and John getting on?

sasha I was prescribed 200 mg prog (cyclogest) twice a day too. I'm def not hyperfertile (although MC seems to boost my fertility for three months which I'm hoping works with the scratch too!) Sounds like you've got all your bases covered for next time.

Waves to everyone else and some midweek too.

bubbly sorry missed your post. Glad everything went as smoothly as it could under the circumstances. And glad you're underway with testing too. Rest up hon x

bootles sounds like a positive to me. Exciting! Fingers crossed for an uneventful nine months!

Glad to hear it went well Bubbly.

Cat, totally understandable how you're feeling.

bubbly glad you're home and the day's gone as well as can be expected.

bubbles glad today went as well as these things can. Make sure you rest up now and get an early night and know that we're all here for you.

Hugs moon, I think if you can open up to some good friends you may find it helps. I was amazed how kind most people were and its times like this you need support. Thanks for your lovely message btw. I'm due 2 July, so it's about six weeks to go now.

Thank you all for your lovely posts. What a great bunch you are. Haha just your post made me smile. Oh what our bodies go through. I'm terrified about my already massive boobs getting even bigger

Evening!

March - i am trully sorry if i spoke unfairly about your dh - i am positibe he is super lovely. I was trying to support you but i may have misjudged my response. Xx

Glad today went well bubbly* and glad scan was positive erica*. Jady, i'd get a scan machine in my utility room if i could - my body is a bloody mystery to me and would have scan like brushing teeth if i could!

Brummie...am on the edge of my seat damn you!!! I soooooo want this to happen for you!

So, that Athens clinic 'Serum' that Texta mantioned is a bit amazing (irony being that i used to go out with a gynocologist who lived in Athens when i worked in Greece.) I emailed them about hidden c test today and got an email back within an hour! Think i'm def going to do it because apparently infection can persist in your system for decades and sporadically surge and fall depending on your immune defences. I'd like to rule it out next month as well as possibly doing Cov because of my shite taste in men prior to my husband. I had a taste for scumbags...

Erica great news

bootles sounding promising

sasha it's so hard, don't beat yourself up for feeling sad .

Minnie good for you, I'm on a mission to talk about infertility and mc to anyone who will listen! Including talking to an ex colleague I saw today who asked why when I said dh was looking for work abroad. Well, after three and half years of ttc and getting nowhere, we need a change. There's been a tradition of all DH's mates and gf/wives going away together every summer. This year they've all gone with their babies and toddlers and we weren't invited (not that we would have gone...) All of them conceived and gave birth after we started ttc. It's just too much. But on the other hand my Dad has been given two years to live and this is a very bad time to be moving to the other side of the world. Stuck between what's best for me and DH right now, and wider concerns of my family .

Thank you everyone for warm welcomes

Thank you Minnie for the tips. I’m booked for Friday but my DH can’t make it, so relieved it'll be ok if he's not there. I thought it was similar to a cervical smear but doesn’t sound like it! Please, how heavy is the spotting/bleeding? Do you normally bleed quite heavily during AF? Sorry in advance for the odd question…

Frecklefire Sorry for the slow response. Fyi I’ve read you can get chlamydia from seawater, hospital instruments and all sorts, but it’s very rare. I also read it can be dormant and only flare up sometimes. Penny at Serum gives free consultations so if you need you can always have a telephone consult about your concerns. I got my results back from Serum today. Negative for hidden c and positive for ureaplasma. I made the mistake of googling ureaplasma and miscarriage, and it’s pretty horrific (don’t do it). You can’t drink on the antibiotics they’ve prescribed, so we’ll start them after our trip to Athens for the hysteroscopy.

just love the scott stories and hope you can take him home soon

Brummie hope your work trip is being distracting. You mentioned your hysteroscopy – were the scratches to help promote implantation? Did your cycle start again based on the op? Did you bleed as heavily on the second cycle or was it a once off kind of thing? I’m pretty nervous about it. thank you.

Hi ladies, I forgot just how fast these threads move! Been lurking but feeling too blue to post like you Sasha another PG announcement got me this week. Sometimes it seems so unfair that most people get pregnant and have babies for us it's an emotional roller coaster more often than not with a very unhappy ending.
Glad things went as well as they could bubbly x
Scan tomorrow and feeling nervous vry tired and keep pushing DH away can't help it feel bad now ??

Barking that is outrageous you weren't invited to go away. I completely appreciate you may not have wanted to go but that was your choice to make, not someone else's.

Hi Texta I had my hystereoscopy as a bit of a tick box fail safe. In that I'd had all the tests (completely clear) plus I'd been to Coventry. Now my consultant (and Loopys) is the lovely Mr Watts at Worcester and he is really pro Coventry - but I also know that him and Prof Quenby are both fairly senior at ESHRE (European Society of Human Reproduction & Embryology) so Mr Watts positively encouraged me to go and I know other ladies on haven't been so lucky.

Anyway when I went to Coventry, my lining was measured and it was only 6mm and it was suggested I might need to go back for another scratch. I said I was having a hysteroscopy and I was told if scratches are done whilst they are in there, it does exactly the same job.

So really my hysteroscopy was originally just for a look but as per my request, they did a couple of scratches.

Anyway my next AF was much heavier and much fresher (bright red blood) and I bled for 5 days rather than my usual 3. So I am hoping it's had a good effect

Bubbles thinking of you, big hugs xx

barking sorry about your group of friends. It's such a pile of crap! Can't understand why you weren't invited but can totally understand why you wouldn't go iyswim. So so sorry about your dad. So awful that decisions that are the best for you are not always the best for other reasons. My Db and dsil moved to the U.S. two months before her father was told his skin cancer had returned and spread (he knew but had been keeping it from family so she would make the move) She spent 6 months flying back and forth until he very sadly passed away. At the time she found it very hard but now feels she did the right thing in the end, and knew it was what her dad wanted for her too. Sorry for the long overshare there, and I obviously have no idea about your relationship with your dad, but weighing things up and thinking how you would cope in each situation might be a starting point. (I guess you've probably already done that so just ignore my witterings if so!)

texta it was a bit more painful than a smear but really not too bad and over quickly. The bleeding stopped overnight too. I'm sure you'll be totally fine. The doc and nurse doing it were both lovely too. Good luck!

confused so much luck for the scan tomorrow- I'm sure you'll feel better once its over.

Good luck to all the scanners this week. Looking forward to hearing more good news x

Oh and I started to have a row with some stupid bint on AIBU tonight about travelling in early pregnancy. Somebody was asking should they travel in first trimester.

So I said I was given the advice no, travel does not cause miscarriage but because the risk is higher, you might prefer to stay at home. Only advice and of course each person is different.

Got ripped apart from some stupid cowbag basically calling me a fool on the internet. Er jog the fuck on . When you've had 3 mc's in a row, and travel internationally for work and been told by your GP you might prefer to stay home rather than travel if worried - then you can pipe up .

Until then. Shut. The. Fuck. Up

I was itching to lay into her, but let's face it, no good can come of it. Plus I'd be coming from an emotional viewpoint rather than a reasonable one.

Then someone else said something similar to me, but admittedly a bit more eloquently - well they got both barrels!!!!

So I feel less shit now because basically this woman was vile full stop.

What happened to "ok, appreciate in your situation that's probably good advice, but generally it's ok"

Oh no!!!!

To be fair, I've noticed this poster on a few AIBU before now and she's been vile to other posters. It's not just me!!!

Missed your post barking.

I'm so sorry that your dad is not well. So hard to make decisions when you have something so massive going on in your family.

I can't believe your partner's friends didn't at least invite you to the holiday either How awfully cruel of them. I know you may not have been able to face it but they should have invited you. X

brummie at the stupid cow with no idea or empathy. Love the phrase 'jog the fuck on' though- I need to use that more

There are some serious numptys in this world. The one good thing that's come out of the last few years has been I've very quickly worked out who my friends are.
Barking I'm so sorry to hear about your dad - it's probably completely different but my dad was given 18 months, that was 3 and a half years ago. It's horrible news to get and my heart goes out to you.
I also love the phrase 'jog the fuck on' and have said it in my head many times to many people over the past few years...

barking so sorry to hear your dad is unwell

girlie and confused hand holding from me for the scans tomorrow

cat only 6 weeks to go! Even without mc or infertility the last few weeks are anxiety inducing I think, so entirely understandable that you still worry, but before long little kitten will be on the outside, in your arms.

brummie what is this AIBU thing? I only do this thread on MN so am a bit clueless. The woman sounds horrible, put it out of your head.

just your bra story is funny

freckle sounds like a plan - something else to tick off the list

Welcome texts and portmoon, don't think I said that yet.

Bloomin' heck, lost a long post.

Bootles, it was me who said about bullying, and thank you. And great news about darker line, want to hear more of that.

Freckle, I'm also very interested in Greek tests. Because... Erm... oh sod it. I had chlamydia 17 years ago. Doc at the time said the antibiotics are 100% effective so no need to retest after taking them. But I am a bit worried now.

Cat, felt quite proud of you to read your post about this baby being a long time coming. You're almost there! Kitten is a fighter.

Barking, very sorry to hear about your dad. And must put extra pressure on you. Someone else said they'd wanted their grandad to meet her kids because she'd lived with him until they got married (Jady?). And it struck me that there's so much more to recurrent miscarriage than the obvious losses. It's the fear that other opportunities are slipping away too. DH's mum and stepdad both died in last 2.5 years and I know it'll be hard for him if we have another child without him being able to share it with his mum.

Bubbles, glad it went okay, good luck to all who have scans soon.

Brummie, I read that thread and she was bloody rude! Don't let her get to you. Happy people don't need to belittle others and I suspect she's absolutely miserable. Have a feeling I've seen her on a feminism thread so very tempted to ask if she's always this rude or if it's her time of the month. (Sorry... That's really immature of me. I do actually consider myself a feminist...)

Apologies anyone I've forgotten.

Ah, just remembered something that was in lost post... Brummie, your job sounds awfully exciting/glamorous! Crossing the border into the next county is as close as I get to international business travel.

morning ladies.

bubbles - so pleased it all went well yesterday.

girlie - keeping fingers and toes crossed that it is good news for you today at the scan. We are all here for you.

confused - sorry think I missed your post but looks like you also have a scan today? In which case, I am keeping everything firmly crossed for you too hun.

x

Good luck with scans today Girlie, Confused.

Also interested in the chlamydia thing. Had it over 15 years ago.

Glad it went ok Bubbles.

Barking I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad.

Brummie you're brave going on to aibu thread. I felt confident one day and started looking at pregnancy threads and was going to respond to one I thought I could contribute to. Read through it all then the OP said the unimaginable and I've not gone back since.

Going to call the private place this morning about a scan. Do they normally put a condom on the end? Prof Brosens did last time, but no one else ever has. Was kinda amusing watching him put it on.

Good morning everyone else. Awake far too early!

Hah thanks Biscuit it's really not that glam. I don't really do long haul anymore just European now. I had a trip to India once and I obviously got ill as everyone does.

I actually threw up in a plant pot outside the front entrance of the Delhi Convention Centre because I was SO ill and the toilets were vile!!!!

NOT my finest hour

If this is a BFP then I'm already worried about trips to Milan and Brussels in June. Milan not so much because I'd be only 5 weeks and I'd anything happened I'd just whack a pad on and hope for the best

But if I was pg, Brussels is when I'd be 8 weeks and that when I lost 2nd and 3rd ones.

I know travelling doesn't cause mc but the thought of travelling in early pg makes me sick with fear - especially for work

Admittedly I haven't got a BFP yet so I'm probably worrying needlessly

Barking big big hugs

Today is 11dpo for me and Cheesy - wonder if a BFP is imminent!!!!

Good luck today Girlie and Confu3ed. x

Good luck from here too Girlie and Confused

Just how is little Scott this morning?

Good luck today girlie and confused, thinking about you.

Thanks for the comments about my dad. I'm totally torn. I can't remember who said their dad had lived for longer than predicted but in a horrible way I'm hoping that's not the case here as quality of life would be horrendous for him. He's already lost the ability to walk other than shuffling short distances in the house bent double, but falls often, most of his fine motor skills have gone, he has numerous internal problems and slurs his speech so much I can't understand him on the phone anymore . It seems cruel to pack up and go to the other side of the world right now, knowing there's a chance I might not see him again. That thought just kills me. But dh is struggling and we both want to move abroad. Leaving my Dad is the only thing stopping me. We don't see my parents that often, probably not even once a month, but at the moment we could if I wanted to. Argh. We were supposed to be busy with a toddler right now, which would have taken DH's mind off needing to do something different and something he could share with his friends rather than watch them experiencing, this shouldn't even be a decision we need to think about .