Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 23 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[bythesea82]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Wasdy, good scan news! xx

Cat, 34 weeks! Good effort! Hope you're not too incapacitated? Oddly slightly that you've made it that far (I got to 33.6), but Tbh I think Scott would have had me totally bed ridden as he was on course to be an 8-9 pounder!!!
Scott had a really good day yesterday. We decided to make him hungry and get him to ask for feeds rather than top up via the tube during the day (still got top ups over night). He was definitely more alert and doing more feeding behaviours as a result, and had a couple of good efforts at feeding. Hopefully he'll continue and we can start preparing for coming home.

That's great news just. Glad he's starting to get the hang of it. Hope you can get him home soon x

Oh brummie - gutted for you. Hope AF pitches up soon and I do absolutely think every other day is the way forward. Most definitely takes the pressure off although you have to be disciplined not to insist on every night when you think you might be ov! I didn't quite manage the discipline and ended up about every 18 hours for a few days!!

monten - hope you have a wonderful wedding day lovely. It goes by so fast so do make sure you stop occasionally and just take it all in.

spartacus - so sorry about the diagnosis. My 3rd MC (the only one tested) had trisomy 22 and I found that pretty tough to hear. In a strange way though, I did feel some relief that at least there was a reason for that MC.

snoopy - so sorry you find yourself here and for all that you have gone through. I've had 4 in a year so know how draining and relentless the cycle of repeated mcs can be. Don't beat yourself up for your age though. Compared to many of us here you have a good 10 years of time on your side to get this sorted. As others have said, statistically for all of us, the most likely outcome if we keep trying is that we will one day have our babies in our arms. Do take the time you need to recover though - rushing back to work isn't going to help anyone.

Big hugs to all. Hope everyone has fun bank holiday weekend plans!! x

And just - great news that Scott is starting to take an interest in feeding.

just great to hear Scott is doing well. Sounds like he's definitely getting there.

girlie sorry I meant to mention you yesterday. Your limbo is so horribly long, and really tough if you are having symptoms but not feeling very hopeful. It is so cruel. I really hope you are getting lots of support. Lots of hugs x

mrsc as the others say, is the line as dark as the control? I usually have a line for about 3 days that gets darker. So frustrating when you do 't know what your body is doing.

jady and wadsy also think I didn't mention your scans - good news!

march a ship tbat sails backwards never sees the dawn....I like that, thank you for sharing.

brummie dammit dammit I really was getting my hopes for you. So sorry. Its such a horrible stomach dropping feeling when it's a bfn, and I totally relate to the thought of dreading another month of the stress of DTD. I reckon DTD every other day, or twice a week in the first week even, to reduce the pressure on dh, is a good idea. Your timing was fine - don't go giving yourselves a hard time for that. Your history suggests you are very likely to get pg in the next few months, and I know its awful because you feel time is running away, but there is still time. I know it just feels shit right now though. Hugs x

Great news Just x

flen sorry I don't seem to be able post without leaving people out each time. Sorry you are struggling with the tww and getting anxiety. I remember your blog about it and its so true. I hope you aren't working over the b.holiday weekend and manage to do something nice for you. How many dpo are you?

girlie - big hugs hun. That's shit that you are feeling so sick but aren't hopeful of a good outcome. x

Sorry for the earlier pitty me post earlier & thanks for the subsequent comments. Generally doing ok but when feeling icky reminds me what I could have. The EPU clinic told me that I'm probably feeling really rubbish because of the double eggs (double symptoms) and unfortunately my body is rubbish at realising it's not doing what it should and therefore continue to have symptoms.

Anyway enough of feeling sorry for myself. Sun is out and have busy weekend planned. Hope everyone has similar weekends planned x

monten!!! Have a fabulous day.

brummie I am sorry. Sometimes our bodies just play tricks on us. I have had morning sickness in the tww plenty of times and it's been a bfn. Totally gutting. Hugs.

Welcome snoopy. Just to echo what everyone else says. I hope you find this thread supportive and informative.

just so glad scott had a good day. Hope you will have him home soon.

biscuits I used to go to the pg after mc thread and check out the stats there. Lots have only had 1mc but there were several with three plus whose pregnancies were progressing
well. Unfortunately the thread babies stat at the bottom doesn't include people's mc stats but I can confirm quite a few were rmcers. I am top of the list myself now! One day it will be each of you.

Happy birthday faith! Our own thread baby.

Still not very well and dh is worse. Getting a bit fed up and anxious now, feeling like I could still fail at the final hurdle, but desperately trying not to moan as I do know how lucky I am

Tanny, you were one of the good news stories! As was Baking, Just and Purple. Even better to know that others dropped off when out of the danger zone.
And that's just in an 18 month period, if we looked at that same group over 3 years the success rate wood be even higher.

Sorry for BFN Brummie. I have a different issue - every time I've had a BFP one of my first thoughts was thank god I don't have to go through the monthly persuasion of getting DH to DTD at the right time when he'd happily settle with DCs we've got and so doesn't see the same urgency as me. Could you fib about when you're fertile to take the pressure off and abstain for a week or so before that?

You're another lovely outcome Longest, Tiny was also one of the October 2013 posters.

Thanks all. We DTD this morning and DP couldn't finish again

This is really starting to worry me now. He almost seems paralysed - he can get hard no problem but he just cannot finish

I don't know what to do

Brummie** i am gutted for you. I really am. Maybe the comedown will be ok - i didn't suffer this month. When i'd been on it for a month i did go to a very dark place, but after 7 days was ok. First month of trying ever i havnt fallen, and i was sure i was having implantation pains, but i think maybe the prog has done its job and not implanted a duff egg, for a change. Maybe in your case too? Xx

Pop* and minnie* failed bf here too! (Charlie's Angels pose, but with feeding bottles instead if guns). ds was born with tongue tie which was cut at 2 weeks but we never got onto a good method after it. Id love to get it right the next time (!) but siblings tend to have it and dh had it.

Oh thank god that term is dead. All y11 n y12 stuff sent off to exam board. I had a golden moment yesterday where in the y11 literature exam the poem i made them do their creative writing came up on section A and the unseen poem was a poem o made tgem do an essay on a few weeks ago! So after a really shit term for once i looked like a bloody genius! Ha! MnS Wine n steak n chips to celebrate that last night!!!

Also think you're perfectly entitled to moan Longest. Even after miscarriages, pregnancy can be bloody hard and don't think anyone who's had more than one mc will ever believe their pregnancy will result in a baby until it's actually in their arms.
I know we're meant to be happy about sickness and pregnancy ailments because it means we're pregnant but I really struggled with nausea and pelvic pain. Had nausea 24 hours a day until week 20 with both boys, would wake in the middle of the night feeling ill. And even in later pregnancies which ended in miscarriages I felt a sense of desperation at feeling so ill while it was still going ok.
Hope you feel a bit better soon.

just good news on the feeding. Sounds very positive.

flen tww is crappy. Hope you've a lovely bank holiday planned.

girlie sorry the fake symptoms are driving you crazy. Glad you've a nice weekend planned, hope the next scan comes quickly.

brummie so sorry it was a BFP. It's just shit. And your poor dp I agree with the others about every other day. It's the only way we've ever been successful around ov. If Dh knows it's ov day he's just like your dp and can't finish. Is he better if he's had a couple of drinks? It's just an extra crap pressure you both don't need. Big hugs hon x

monten it's here! Have a fantastic, happy wedding day! Soak it all in and have a brilliant honeymoon too xx

Sorry I realise how offensive that sounded when I said paralysed.

What I mean is,DP can start off but it's almost like he can't unblock his mind and he just cannot finish. He says he's enjoying it, and he feels frustrated because he really wants to come. But he can't get there.

We've not DTD the for 2 weeks and I hoped a break might help. But no.

Longest big big hugs you are nearly bloody there xx

This morning my mind even drifted to adoption again. It's been 5 months since mc number 3 and you have to wait 6 months after mc / failed IVF before you can apply

I'm not sure - and when I say that I mean can we put ourselves through the adoption process? As Barking has wisely said - it's brutal

But TTC is taking it's toll and the impact is felt all around you.

I worry another mc would set us back yet again!!!!

Freckle enjoy the end of term feeling!!!!

Brummie, hope this isn't too personal, just an idea but ignore if nuts... Could DP do it in a pot and then you use a turkey baster? And just keep sex for fun?

Or as someone else said would a couple of drinks help?

Or is it a total block? Don't panic though, sure there's a solution.

Brummie can he finish off when he's on his own? I know someone who now has a baby (and after rmc) using the turkey baster method as the pressure just got too much.

I hope I'm allowed to sneak in a photo without upsetting anyone, it's near enough the end of the thread it will be gone soon. Happy birthday to my little rainbow!

What a cutie baking. Happy birthday faith xxx

I'm getting the stats cheat sheet ready to post in the new thread. Do any of the newbies want to be added? snoopy, portmoon, bubbly, texta, anyone else?