Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 23 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[bythesea82]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Brummie I find that it always hits me hardest when I think I'm doing ok and managing to be positive, then suddenly I've fallen down the put again and can't see a way out. It stinks and it's horrible to go through but you will get back out. .
And some if it helps .

cheesy no, I've not seen him. I'm with Mr Metwally, who won't try anything that isn't proven... I just get lectures on the follies of trying everything 'just in case' and how just because x happened to get pg when she took y during ivf it doesn't mean there's any evidence it was anything other than a coincidence and no proof it would work for anyone else...

pit not put...

Sorry you're having a tough day, Brummie. Hugs, xx

On names, we chose Scott in part because Dh's father who passed away last year was Scottish, bit also because, as atheists, we don't think about miracles, but we are kind of SciFi geeks, and a miracle is like a marvel, and Marvel is the x-men, and Scott is one of them (Cyclops), and he's a really brave adventurer, like Captain Scott, and he's great, as in Great Scott! We haven't over thought it at all. Oh no.

Aw brummie sorry for the crap day. It always hits when you least expect.

barking sorry you've had to face a baby bomb today too. They are shit!

cat that sounds like a tough situation to deal with. I think I would have burst into tears too.

freckle I keep thinking I should have enjoyed ds's pregnancy more too. Because I'd had mc1 beforehand I just never relaxed and allowed myself to get excited. And now there's probably no chance I ever will.

just how's little Scott today? Hope you've sneaked in lots more cuddles.

purple are you home now? How's everything going?

Thanks for the info on the pharmacy mrsd and jady should be fine then. 2 days to go!

Loving the baby name chat. I've no idea what I'd call a boy- we used all our favs on ds. Weirdly all his names (he's got two middle names!) have been mentioned today!

Just watched The C Word on catch up. That certainly puts things into perspective. And she's a fab actress too.

Waves to all and sorry for anyone I've missed. Have a great weekend xx

Sorry for the baby bombs and for the crap doctors who are refusing to do what you need them to do.
Sorry you had such a horrible pregnancy freckle. This journey is so much harder knowing that even when you've got to the bfp you've still got an awful time ahead of you. I was horribly sick with hg last time for the first 20 weeks and just dreading going through that again. I was completely unable to function. I do understand it when people say they want to feel really sick, but i find it a very naive attitude, as they clearly have no idea what they are wishing for!

How are you feeling flen? Hope you through yesterday ok x

I'm stopping the progesterone today. Gutted. Just hope af isn't late so i can get on with the next cycle

sun as baking said, 25mg is a low dose, and osteoporosis only a concern if on it long term. It can irritate your stomach lining, hence take after food, but no-one has ever mentioned an antacid to me - again I suspect because a fairly low dose (I was on 20). Consultant may think you may as well take it as Gp has said it, but possibly that its not entirely necessary? Not sure. Because they can't test pg women in drugs trials, they always say not to take in pg, to cover themselves. I would go back to the consultant. Frustrating!

cheesy sorry about your gp - say Coventry is a 'self funded NHS clinic' that tends to help.

march lovely, I feel so sad that you feel like that. It is utterly shit, this crap situation, but you are doing all you can. Its not your fault. I do the same, bargain and plan, feel this HAS to be the month, tben it isnt. I find the days after a bfn are always hard, then I feel a bit relieved to be on to the next cycle. Hope you have a good weekend x

brummie sorry you are feeling so low, and that you may need a break. Hard, but in the long run it may help. Not easy right now though, I know.

Sorry to anyone not name checked.

Well I feel like a right idiot here. Yesterday after leaving my test to the side (I don't bother chucking them in the bin anymore - just leave them out for constant checking) I could see a fainter than faint shadow. I've ignored that sort of result in the past, but it often turns into something so I thought I would reduce one level of stress and got an emergency gp appt to access more prog (almost out) and pred. Lovely gp prescribed without fuss. This morning it is less - I couldn't say its a line, its not, its a hint of a shadow. A hint of a hint. I repeat - definitely not a line. I am 12 dpo, and suspect something has tried to implant and I have happened to pick up a tiny bit of hcg. Annoying, as I don't want to stop prog without a further test tomorrow. I feel like a mad woman, now racing to get meds on a bfn. Dammit this process is starting to really piss me off. Ffs.

Thank you for the kind words and thoughts ladies. I got through yesterday which was marked by the momentous event of my sister actually speaking to me (it's been four months since she has) and also sadly our buyers pulling out of their offer on our house. A funny old day. This weekend will be full of poas and dtd.

march sorry for bfn. My AF came three days after stopping progesterone, so hopefully yours will be along soon. I always find I feel better when it actually arrives, like the new cycle brings new hope but the days leading up are very hard. How is it for you?

just I love the name and I love the reasons for it even more!

My sister has called her little boy Stan. I prodded my mum into acknowledging that this week was hard for me, which she did, so that felt quite good. My FB feed and group messages on my phone are full of Stan pics though, which I am struggling with.

Hugs all round.

I'm completely at a loss for names, it's almost as if I think about them I'll jinx this pregnancy. Completely ridiculous - I'm not normally superstitious at all! Really wish my brain wasn't so blank!

Don't worry, Boozle, I was the same. I couldn't name Scott until he was off the ventilator for the same reason. You'll have 6 weeks to decide, legally speaking, and its OK to take a few days. I found I needed to look him in the eye in order to decide the name was right.

Morning ladies. bootles well that's kind of exciting!! Do you have enough prog for the weekend? Fx you have a lovely line tomorrow.

Big hugs flen. I'm glad your sister called and your mum acknowledged it was hard. Mums can be so great but sometimes but really not great other times. Yesterday, at work, my mum forwarded me and email announcing the birth (with pics) of my cousins baby. Good for them but I'd rather not receive it sat at my desk prepping for an important meeting, thanks. So sorry about your buyer, that is beyond shit. It's such a stressful process. Will it go back on the market?
wadsy congrats on bfp! That's great news. And also, selfishly, that it's taken you between 8 and 12 months before, makes me think there is still hope for me and it's just taking a little longer this time. When is your first scan?

Hugs brummie. Sometimes it does just hit you.

Love the name and the reasons for it just. How is he doing today?

My current favourite name is Josephine . Josephine Faith. Of course dp has had no say in this

flen glad you got through yesterday. Sorry about the house, that's all you need. I'm glad your mum acknowledged how hard the week was for you. My sister had her third baby a week after mc2 would have been due. Its hard. I hope by the time that Stan turns 1 you will have your own, or be pg - it could definitely happen. I know right know that thought is probably too tantalising to think about though.. How did the conversation with your sister go? Hugs x

monten its definitely not going anywhere. But at least I have the meds lined up for next (hopefully) time. Sorry about the baby bomb...at work is too hard.

Hmmmmm bootles this is interesting. Surely a line is a postitive line? Did you use the same kind of test today as yesterday? Some are more sensitive than others and things like how full your bladder is and time of day can affect the result early on!

Sorry this cycle hasn't worked march. I always found the progesterone made my disappointment (and pmt) a bit worse but once AF arrived I felt a little better. Hope you're doing something nice this weekend to try to distract yourself from it.

Hugs flen that sounds like a very difficult and strange week. I know you'll be happy for your sister but sad for you, it's a hard feeling to ride. My SIL had my nephew last year within a week or so of my due date and it just broke my heart. It's taken time and a lot of hard-work but I do love him now. Dread his birthdays though as they'll be reminders of the milestones mine missed out on.

Don't worry about names Boozle the right ones will come when it's time!!! We've pretty much decided on a name for ours but we're keeping it quiet until he's here :) xxxx

Oh god, cat and bootle you've just reminded me. Nephew, born a month before my first (a boy) who I had to tfmr, turns one at beginning of June. And here I am, still not pregnant. This journey sucks.

Meant to say sorry about bfn march. This is always the worst part of the cycle. Once af arrives you'll feel better and it will be on to the next. I always find I feel better once significant milestones have passed. Like getting pregnant before a due date. It's just an added pressure we put on ourselves.

Hi flen** you sound tired and resigned, im so sorry about the house sale falling through. It must be really hard that your sister now has a baby, and that youre not really speaking is a further strain in your life. Sending you a hug x.

Just** i love that Scott is named after a Marvel character! We would have Ferris on our list - purely because of Ferris Bueler!

Bootles** isn't it hair pulling that our lives are reduced to a piss-stick?! Arrrgh!

March - at leaat the pregnancy envy might be slightly less accute for us. I'm always quite glad when a pregnant friend has bad morning sickness because at least they can empathise with how i was!

Minnie** - Laura Linnie amazing actress, loved since A.M Tales of The City back in the early 90's.

Brummie** have you pos yet? V emotional - could be horemonal?! Xxxx

Ok, I can't keep my mouth shut any longer, our name for a girl is Millie! Don't have a boys one yet, but we've had this name for ages.

Flen glad you and your sister spoke, but so sorry about the house. I hope another buyer comes along asap. It's good your Mum acknowledged what a tough week you've had, I daren't call mine for fear she'll upset me. Not spoken since mc2.

March big hugs. We'll be here when you stop the prog too. I hope the new cycle brings fresh hope for you.

I'm scared to stop it. I know that sounds nuts but i just remember how awful i felt last time and i already feel shit. Has anyone ever weaned off it gradually (ie cut the bullets in half) and did it help? Dh is just getting on with life as normal. He hasn't even asked me all week even though he knows I've been testing

That fear is in the back of my mind too March. There's def been talk of cutting in half before. Are you on 200mg or 400mg?

March** have just come off it on thurs as af arrived, was v worried as when came off it for mc 3 in feb i was very depressed - and that's not my natural personality. However - so far i feel totally fine. I think a week on it is not so bad as months and months - take heart xxx

I was thinking although i know that people have had successful pregnancies with fibroids, but the cause of fibroids is too much oestrogen. whilst i was pregnant my fibroid was getting bigger so that would imply that the oestrogen levels are high. which could mean hormone imbalance. maybe I'm clutching at straws and trying to find reasons for the m/cs but any thoughts?

i can't wait to have the procedure done, my symptoms have completely gone now apart from feeling hot all the time

You are all lovely. We didn't actually speak , but my sister did reply to my text message saying we had sent them some presents in the post, so we had a brief text exchange, maybe four messages. This still feels like progress though! She's not acknowledged any of my other communications, so it is something that she replied at all. It stayed on pretty safe, generalised ground, but that feels like a start. To be frank, she's a bit of a knob and I feel quite angry that the responsibility to instigate things has fallen to me. But she is my sister. And that matters.

march I was very sad for three days after stopping the progesterone, but honestly I don't know how much of that was sadness at BFN. And it did lift once AF started. Plus the prog was upsetting my tummy so much I was quite relieved to come off it. It's such a crappy extra challenge just at a vulnerable time isn't it.

jady family relationships are so hard around mc if family aren't sensitive. I'm so sorry to hear you haven't spoken to your mum for so long. Just when we need our support networks to tighten around us.

Flen big big hugs and that is rubbish about your house. xx

So first bit progesterone done! Found it easier to put in that I thought.

Just lying down alright I am not sure it matters so much if back door as muscles should hold it in

Will see how I get on with any side effects. Am worried about of I get a bfn next week the crash of coming off it

How did the progesterone go brummie? I've done front this morning which was ok, not too messy, tonight is back door though and as I said to DH last night 'but I've never put anything up there before' so hope it goes ok.

bootles you're not mad for getting the meds, I'm sure we'd all do the same and it is the right thing to do. I hope tomorrow's test is clearer and that today's was just a crappy one so didn't show properly.

march I hope stopping the progesterone doesn't add to the sadness and frustration you're having. I'm concerned about it too as I seem to dip quickly into depression sometimes.

flen sorry the buyers have pulled out, twats.

minnie that baby bomb must have been very hard

bubbly when is your procedure? I hope you find some answers. I think one of the hardest things about losing a baby is not knowing why. Hugs xxx

just love your reasons for Scott's name

Sorry Bubbly, no idea about fibroid and oestrogen levels.

Thanks Flen, I will speak to my mum again when I feel strong enough. Am in similar place with one of my bra's too, we've been tentively emailing each other which is a start (fell out way before mc). Good luck with your sister.

Well done Brum with first backdoor insertion. Hoping your emotional state yesterday is a good sign! I cried at big bang the other week, wtf!