Minnie I know that feeling of digging your nails in to your palms at work to desperately not cry. When everyone around you in talking about labour and having a baby and I have to sit to there and try not to panic and all I can feel is the panic welling up inside my chest. So I do breathing exercises.
Colleague actually finishes on Monday so not quite yet. I do feel so sad and guilty on behalf though. I feel like because of me she's not been able to enjoy being pregnant, that's she's had to be careful - for which I'm grateful. She has been incredibly sensitive and I hate that I've probably ruined it for her. As a person and a colleague I will miss her very much, she's bloody good at her job. But I won't miss her being pregnant - but that's my issue and not hers.
Unfortunately I'm wrapped up in a world of pain and grief and resentment and I've no doubt it's been hard on people around me, including pregnant colleague. Miscarriage affects more than just the woman.
I've bought her a card to give on Monday so I can say bye to her my way if that makes sense?
Upset tonight, DP is having problems at work and he's really upset as he works crazy hours at the moment on a project (caught him doing emails at 4am the other morning in the dark) but he's been told today by his director that his "output" isn't as good as it could be. DP is gutted as he puts so much work in and the strain we've been under due to mc's is horrendous and now this. I'm so upset for him.
If we aren't successful this month then I think we might have a break for a couple of months whilst DP focuses on work. I can't bear to add to his pressure and stress.
He's propped me up and been there for me through 3 mc's, he needs me
Cat my sis worked at Russell's Hall before Worcester. She's delivered a fair few there!
Cheesey already for tomorrow??? 
#progesteronebuddies