Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

[mrsb0710]

Original threadtotal headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

What a horrible thing to face in the circumstances on what was supposed to be a nice night out. I was watching Claudia explaining about her daughters accident on watchdog and was in floods of tears. Dh was a bit in the nicest of ways!

Don't worry about work they can't do anything but I would tell your manager or equivalent what's happened so they know they need to go easy.

Hope things get a move on for you all. The haze will lift little by little and normal life will return but give yourself plenty of time.

I didn't get a negative until 2 weeks after a natural mc - no idea actually when I lost the baby as I had passed the sac before I had a scan so it can take a few weeks until the hormones go. Take care x

Remember my memory plant ? Look at it now.....

It looks great adventure! Beautiful colour

My feather got destroyed when our shower leaked and flooded the room below. I've been trying another one today but can't get it right - I'm too much of a perfectionist generally and this has to be right! Given up for today and will try again another day.

Ah Lilliana you'll get it right - sorry the first one got rained on. My DP is amazed I've managed to do so well with this plant as I'm not the best gardener usually !!

Shaz I know that feeling, only lasts a couple of seconds but the crush of reality is horrid.....that get easier too over time. I don't get that any more (5 weeks after mc started) but went out for the first time today, first time since ERPC, and was walking round Sainsbury's following my husband like zombie (or a 'tit in a trance' as he said) was like the whole world was rushing past me. People pushing their babys past, pg women seemed to be everywhere! Even had two women walk past me talking about scans!
So it does get easier, but slowly I suppose. You just have to take each day as it comes. Just know that you are not alone in the way you feel. Xxx

Lil hope you get that new feather right soon x

Adventure your plant is lovely, very pretty! On a separate thing, may I ask how long it took you to heal after your ERPC? I'm sure I remember you saying you had one, forgive me if I'm wrong. I'm still having pain a week later, phoned the unit today who says to go to the doctors, gonna go tomorrow morning. Just wondering what normal recovery time is? X

Paws I think I was just really lucky with mine and had no pain after ERPC. Mind you for the price I should bloody well hope not ! Haha ! Definitely get it checked out. Have you had a follow up scan to check there's no retained tissue ?

U lucky thing, nope, no follow up scan. It was my previous follow up scan that showed retained tissue, that's why they sent me from ERPC, got doctors at 10 this morning so hopefully they can put my mind at rest x

'for' ERPC, not from

Adventure let me know how you get on.

I had my Eprc last Thursday, I don't have pain as such just like period cramps but compared to what I was in its nothing. Hope you are ok x

Sorry not adventure im getting confused with names

Well this week hasn't gone too well .. Thought it would be a good idea to go straight back to work .. Walked in yesterday morning was only there for 20 min before being sent home .. I couldn't contain my tears , I got so choked , I spent the whole time in my managers office crying .. Not the best idea of mine to go back , think it's too soon .. Anybody know when it's the right time .. I've got the rest of the week off , went to see my doctor & she wants too overly understanding what I was going through .. She said I need to be off a week Before she can officially sign me off .. My DP wants me to try and get back to normal ( what ever normal is ) .. He's been really supportive but i feel he's pushing me too hard to try and move on ??? Any advice ladies xxx

Well this week hasn't gone too well .. Thought it would be a good idea to go straight back to work .. Walked in yesterday morning was only there for 20 min before being sent home .. I couldn't contain my tears , I got so choked , I spent the whole time in my managers office crying .. Not the best idea of mine to go back , think it's too soon .. Anybody know when it's the right time .. I've got the rest of the week off , went to see my doctor & she wants too overly understanding what I was going through .. She said I need to be off a week Before she can officially sign me off .. My DP wants me to try and get back to normal ( what ever normal is ) .. He's been really supportive but i feel he's pushing me too hard to try and move on ??? Any advice ladies xxx

When I started bleeding it was a weekend, I was off work Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, had the erpc Thursday then it was easter weekend with bank holiday friday/Monday and I went back Tuesday.

I think when you go back is totally up to you and how you're feeling. That first week I couldn't contain the tears so wouldn't have managed work but after the op I got myself together. DP and I told ourselves we're not a wallow in self pity kind of couple and his catchphrase is 'Man Up' so we decided to just get on with things but I could just as easily have been signed off and taken time to heal ! It's your body, your emotions - do what you need to do ?

Are you still bleeding ?

shaz I'm sorry you're struggling. I don't think there is a hard and fast rule. I went back to work after a week and it was the right choice for me - I needed to be busy and have some normality - but that doesn't mean it's right for everyone. Only you know how you feel. Also I had a natural mc which physically was ok also, sorry if this is wrong, but did you have ivf? My friend went through it and it was a hell of a process to go through that then get a Bfp and then mc must add another layer of stress and heartache to what is a horrible situation. Sorry no advice, just everyone is different and do what you feel is right.

Sorry to hear about work shaz I tried to go back to work this morning but started cramping and got scared so didn't go in, but still no bleeding. I am still cramping mildly, I have really bad constant tinnitus in one ear and I have vomited today and it feels as though I am going to come on my period so I hope it's going to start soon. I am feeling unsure if I am cramping do I go in to work or do I wait for the bleeding. I am feeling anxious.

Shaz sorry work didn't go as planned. I wouldn't have been able to go back to work whilst it was happening. Take whatever time off work you feel you need. There is no 'set' time to grieve, but I read somewhere that the average amount of time a woman will grieve a mc is 3 months...although you will never forget. I'm still grieving 6 weeks after, but no way near as hard as I was during. Everyone is different my lovely, some accept and move on sooner than others, just go at your own pace, as supressed grief will come back to bite you in the bum otherwise further down the line. Look after yourself. x
Meg went to doctors today, turns out I have an infection following my ERPC, got two types of antibiotics to take and all should be fine . Hope you're feeling better after yours x

Wifey sounds like you are progressing so try not to worry. Do what you feel comfortable with, if you feel you would be happier at work, then go to work, if you feel that you don't want to go to work because of the fear of it 'Happening' at work, then perhaps stay off work until it's over? I don't know...just do what you want to do, as it's a very emotional thing to go through, especially when it is 'definitely happening' if you know what I mean. Take care. x

I had bad tinitus as it came closer to happening, and kept getting really bad cramp in my bum and thigh muscles, I knew when it was just about to actually happen, as the contractions became very frequent and strong, and it felt like I was going to poo myself (tmi sorry).

Just thought I would share how it progressed for me, as I know you gals are wondering, where/when/how etc...but everyone is different too remember x

Hello can I join? I was around 10 weeks pg with my second dc after 4 years of trying to get pregnant, giving up, accepting it won't happen, feeling at peace with that and then it did. I had a dating scan on Sunday and it seems to be a mmc so I now have to wait until Tuesday to have the second scan to confirm. I have no cramping of bleeding yet but I've lost my pg symptoms so something is happening.

I've woken up today feeling so angry I could destroy things. My Nan died two weeks ago and the funeral is Friday- it was expected she was ill and old but why is it fair to deal this hand of crap at the same time. My parents are really sad about the mmc, they are being supportive but listening to my dad cry on the phone was so heartbreaking. My husband also felt he was now too old to have a newborn so he has spent a few weeks of feeling really unsure about this pg and then got to the point of acceptance and I think excitement and now it's been taken away. I've been sad for myself and I still am but today I'm angry about the effect this has on other people I love too.

I know I'm so so lucky to have my ds. But why did life/fate decide to dangle this carrot in front of me, which we had wanted for so long but had moved on from if it was going to snatch it back. I'm not sure how to let this anger out. Maybe smash some plates.

Thanks for reading- I think I just needed to get this written down/typed so it was out of my head a bit.

purple I'm so sorry, what a shit load of crap to deal with. It's not fair. All and any emotions are valid and if you want to smash something just make sure its not the best China. Having my DD really helped me through and I'm sure your DS will too but take time for yourself - you have a lot to deal with. Come and chat or offload anytime

Purple so sorry to hear the news. Like you we were expecting our 2nd. I feel bad that i allowed myself to get very excited and then had it all ripped away from. I have a dd and she has help so much to get me through this. It's coming upto5 weeks since found out it was a mmc and I am getting there emotionally. Take each day as it comes x

Purple I'm not surprised you're angry, upset,all of the above ! What a shit situation ! It's all just shit isn't it whichever way we all look at it ! We all know we can rant,shout,cry on here and everything goes - no judgement !
We're all thinking of you.

Happy wifey .. You need to do what's best for you .. I'm still bleeding & cramping 8dsys in .. I havnt been to work this week which I think has helped .. I've had time to cry , think & pull myself together . Today I woke with a sense I can begin to try & move forward .. The hardest part in all of this has been as I can't conceive naturally is excepting that I'm not going to be pregnant again .. We could try Ivf again but we were so lucky to get as many eggs last time as I'm 37 ( I know not too old but I have a low egg reserve ) we don't have any eggs left that were frozen .. We would have to start the whole process again .. It's such an emotionally draining process I don't think I could go through it again .. And then there's the cost .. It's so expensive .. My DP has accepted that this was our last go and he has tried to make me realise that .. Still very heart breaking .. Xxx

Happy wifey .. You need to do what's best for you .. I'm still bleeding & cramping 8dsys in .. I havnt been to work this week which I think has helped .. I've had time to cry , think & pull myself together . Today I woke with a sense I can begin to try & move forward .. The hardest part in all of this has been as I can't conceive naturally is excepting that I'm not going to be pregnant again .. We could try Ivf again but we were so lucky to get as many eggs last time as I'm 37 ( I know not too old but I have a low egg reserve ) we don't have any eggs left that were frozen .. We would have to start the whole process again .. It's such an emotionally draining process I don't think I could go through it again .. And then there's the cost .. It's so expensive .. My DP has accepted that this was our last go and he has tried to make me realise that .. Still very heart breaking .. Xxx

Purple .. My heart goes out to you as it does with all the other ladies on here .. Your story is very similar to mine .. Me and my DP were trying to get pg for 6 years . We finally got tests done and was told the only route was to go for ivf .. I was devastated at the time after such a long time of trying and wasted years ... We finally saved the money and went for ivf .. I'm 37 so age is against me ( as the statistics States ) we managed to get 4 good good fertilised eggs .. I had the best one transferred back in 2012 which resulted in he birth of my beautiful son .. Now he is nearly 17months we decided to use the frozen embryos and go again .( 4 weeks ago ). Everything when smoothly got a bfp .. Was so happy and content... Untill 2 weeks later I Miscarried ... I was devastated .. I couldn't sleep for days .. Please , read this and don't think your alone and it's nothing you have done , life has dealt you a horrible card ... You need to have time to come to terms with this .. There are lots of women who are in the same position .. Your not alone .. Xxx hope his has helped ( a little ) xxx