Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

[mrsb0710]

Original threadtotal headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

Sorry to hear that news Shaz sorry you've had to join us. Wifey happy to have been able to help in some small way. The journey is long, but time 'is' a healer x

Shaz and Wifey So sorry you're both going through this ! I had a mmc at the beginning of April and was on this thread every day in the beginning so keep posting - it really does help.

A brief history on mine although like Paws said it's different for everyone ! First pregnancy. Weekend before my 12 week scan I had some bleeding and eventually very bad cramping resulting in a trip to A&E. Contractions until about 4am and was on gas and air to help with the pain. Scan the following morning showed no heartbeat and 9 week sized baby. I was devastated especially as my DP was on a flight home from Malaysia during all this - I had my best friend with me.

I was offered natural, managed or ERPC and after going home and finally getting to see DP we decided ERPC was best for me. I couldn't have gone through the pain I went through at A&E again and had a feeling my body just didn't want to do it naturally - like it was clinging on for as long as possible. Because it was Easter Weekend after that they couldn't fir me in for another 10 days so we ended up paying privately and I had it done 3 days later. It was the right decision for me and I felt I was able to deal with it quicker and move on from the sadness. We bought an Azalea plant as a memory which is now full of pink flowers and I look at it fondly every morning in the garden.

I have just had my first AF this week after the mc and seem to be back on similar cycle to before. We can now try again although I can't imagine how terrified I am going to be of this happening agin if we do get pg. I feel like the mc has taken away the naievity and any excitement of being pg which makes me sad.

Right now you are grieving and sadder than you ever thought possible but the crying will get less and less each day and you will become strong and feel like you have come through it but will never forget !!

Adventure.... Thank you for your support .. Ur story is heartbreaking ... I'm sorry for your loss .. As the days go by and every morning I wake up in hit with this sense of loss .. For a split second when I wake I still think I'm pregnant and then it comes flooding back to that its gone ... The worst part is waiting for it to pass ... It's been 5 days and no cramping or bleeding .. The fertility clinic had told me just to wait .. I go back to work on Monday and worried it will happen at work ... The guilt and sadness I feel is taking over me ... I want to hide away, getting dressed & doing normal things is becoming a huge task ... My head is filled with so many what ifs and buts ... I hope I can begin to feel better but can't see how I can x

Adventure.... Thank you for your support .. Ur story is heartbreaking ... I'm sorry for your loss .. As the days go by and every morning I wake up in hit with this sense of loss .. For a split second when I wake I still think I'm pregnant and then it comes flooding back to that its gone ... The worst part is waiting for it to pass ... It's been 5 days and no cramping or bleeding .. The fertility clinic had told me just to wait .. I go back to work on Monday and worried it will happen at work ... The guilt and sadness I feel is taking over me ... I want to hide away, getting dressed & doing normal things is becoming a huge task ... My head is filled with so many what ifs and buts ... I hope I can begin to feel better but can't see how I can x

Shaz I didn't go back to work from when I found out at the scan til after the ERPC. I went back fairly quickly after the operation but I don't think I could have coped with working and just waiting for it to happen - are you sure that's not going to mess with your head even more ? Be kind to yourself ! I'm sure a Doctor would sign you off for a couple of weeks if you wanted ? I actually wish now that I had got signed off for another week as I just wanted to mooch around the house and not pretend everything was fine. When I did go back to work I found it hard to comprehend that everything was carrying on as normal whilst we were going through such trauma ! I did tell quite a few people what had happened as I wanted people to understand what I was going through ! It helped - I mostly communicated by text though as I couldn't actually talk about it without crying !!!

Adventure... Only a few people knew at work I was pregnant .. I wanted to wait until I had my scan to tell everybody .. All my friends knew which is now the hardest part .. I don't want & can't talk about it without bursting into tears .. I've hidden myself away from everything ... My partner has been really good & I know he's hurting too ... I feel this is going to change me ... Maybe I should go and see my gp .. Thank you so much for your support .. Xx

Adventure... Only a few people knew at work I was pregnant .. I wanted to wait until I had my scan to tell everybody .. All my friends knew which is now the hardest part .. I don't want & can't talk about it without bursting into tears .. I've hidden myself away from everything ... My partner has been really good & I know he's hurting too ... I feel this is going to change me ... Maybe I should go and see my gp .. Thank you so much for your support .. Xx

Shaz have the clinic suggested you have a scan at all to see what's actually going on ? I'm not suggesting your tests have been wrong but I think I'd want to at least go and speak to someone about it ?

Adventure.. They havnt suggested I go for a scan .. I spoke to them on tues and they said I need to wait and the bleeding will come .. It's been 5 days since I got my negative test & still nothing .. I've been testing everyday .. Don't know why I've been putting myself through it & still testing .. I just don't understand why I've had no misscarage yet ... Can it really take this long .. ?? Xx

Adventure.. They havnt suggested I go for a scan .. I spoke to them on tues and they said I need to wait and the bleeding will come .. It's been 5 days since I got my negative test & still nothing .. I've been testing everyday .. Don't know why I've been putting myself through it & still testing .. I just don't understand why I've had no misscarage yet ... Can it really take this long .. ?? Xx

I'm only guessing but I presume that's because you weren't very far along ? I don't know when it changes because for lots of us we had to wait for a good few weeks after mc to get a negative test but that's when the baby is around 6 weeks plus ? I would call back and ask them to explain a bit more what has happened ? Is it classed as a chemical pg when you get a postive test shortly followed by a negative - can any ladies on here help with this ? Do you still get physical bleeding with a chemical pg ? I don't know enough about it to advise I'm sorry.

Have you tried calling the miscarriage Association ? Apparently they're very good to talk to !!

How long after the IVF did you get the positive test ?

I had my ivf transfer on the 1st of may ... I had all the symptoms of pregnancy , sickness, headaches , etc ... Had 3 positive tests & then the rest were negative.. Chemical pregnancy sounds most likely as it gives you a positive result and when the fetus can't develop along with he placenta it gives you a negative result ending with a non pregnancy ... They said I would of only been 2 weeks pregnant and still very early on ... I feel guilty for being so upset as most of all the ladies including your self were a lot further on in your pregnancies.. Xx

I had my ivf transfer on the 1st of may ... I had all the symptoms of pregnancy , sickness, headaches , etc ... Had 3 positive tests & then the rest were negative.. Chemical pregnancy sounds most likely as it gives you a positive result and when the fetus can't develop along with he placenta it gives you a negative result ending with a non pregnancy ... They said I would of only been 2 weeks pregnant and still very early on ... I feel guilty for being so upset as most of all the ladies including your self were a lot further on in your pregnancies.. Xx

Shaz it's still a loss no matter how early on it happened. Don't take away any of what you're feeling just because others were further along ! You deserve to be as angry,upset and devastated as the rest of us. How is your DH/DP coping with it ?

Thank you for your kind words ... My DP seems to be ok .. He spent 2 days at home with me this week , I told him to go back to work I don't want him worrying about me , he seems to be better since he went back to work , think men generally cope better in situations .. How about yours ?? Are going to try again straight away or give your self some time ?? Xxx

Thank you for your kind words ... My DP seems to be ok .. He spent 2 days at home with me this week , I told him to go back to work I don't want him worrying about me , he seems to be better since he went back to work , think men generally cope better in situations .. How about yours ?? Are going to try again straight away or give your self some time ?? Xxx

We were both relly upset and tearful until the erpc and then I think he saw that as a marker to move on. I took a bit longer and was often just overcome with sadness.

We could try again now as I've just had my first complete cycle but I'm struggling to get my head round that if I'm honest !

I think in your case it may be easier for you to try again ... I know it's easier said than done but it will help you deal with the pain & heartache ... I wish you lots of luck Xxx

I think in your case it may be easier for you to try again ... I know it's easier said than done but it will help you deal with the pain & heartache ... I wish you lots of luck Xxx

Sorry to hear your experience Adventure. shaz I have called the miscarriage association helpline everyday and they are good at listening.

I have spoken with my work and have decided to go back to work next week mid week if the mc doesn't happen before then. Since I have accepted that it will happen naturally I feel better and feel less stressed and I feel I can let go and say goodbye. I have been completely open with my work that I will need to leave immediately even if I am with clients if I start to mc and they are ok with this and this makes me feel ok. I am actually feeling stronger today.

Does anyone know is it ok to have sex to induce mc, I was hoping that this might kickstart the process naturally like in labour, or is this likely to cause an infection? The info I have seen says don't have sex when it starts, but I have not had any bleeding yet so wasn't sure if this would be ok. I feel a little bit what I think is mild cramping but then it goes.

Just wanted to update, had the Erpc last night. Had to stay in hospital over night ?? but i got home this morning and have slept all day. Glad it's all over with now! X

Feeling very low today, thought I had gotten past the crying stage. 5 days since ERPC now, and over a month since mc started. Really should be trying to get on with every day activities, but have lost interest and am still getting pain after the 'op'.... Should I be feeling better both emotionally and physically by now? Xx

That's good Meg hopefully you will be back on your feet soon x

Im just going to take it easy over the weekend. Fingers crossed.

Physically they did warn me today I may feel pains for a few days while everything contracts back down ??. Emotionally I have no idea, it's also been 4 weeks since this nightmare started for us too and I'm still getting emotional, I'm now physically it's over It will help emotionally. Sorry I haven't really got any advice ??