Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

[mrsb0710]

Original threadtotal headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

Hi all,

I've been reading this thread for a few days now. I'm sorry to see so many ladies in the same sad position as me. I should be 9+4 but at an early scan at 8 weeks there was a 5w6d foetus and no HB. I was referred to epu by my hospital a week later, where at 9w they saw a 5w foetus and still no HB. I am now booked for another appointment on Thursday, because the consultant could see a 'tiny pulsing' and as the first scan wasn't theirs she said it was trust policy to do 2. I know there is no hope, and I just want this over with. I veer between fighting off the tears, wanting just to eat choc and lie in bed and panicking about the future (first preg so scared BFP may never happen again or that MC will happen again). I knew from that first scan things weren't right and feel like I've been in limbo for so long. I keep getting really down at work because two close friends/colleagues are 20w+ and keep chatting about buggies and maternity jeans.

Anyway, I see some of you have asked for ERPCs to be booked before your second scan and wondering if this is a good idea... If I don't, will I maybe have to wait even longer? Also, do you know if ERPC is always offered? I am worried they will make me MC at home which I can't bear the thought of. Also, I've had so much time off work in the last few months!

Ibeka x

ibeka so sorry to hear ur news.

if u r not comfortable at work speak to ur gp they will sign u off. also im pretty sure work cannot do anything about pregnancy related illness so u dont need to worry about that.

secondly if it is bad news (you never know) then there are a few options. i think it is all down to your hospital trust what you will be offered. my hospital wanted me to mc naturally. it was my first pregnancy too. erpc was never really discussed until it was essential. that doesnt mean you cant have one though, just that you have to ask i think.

when is your re-scan? how r u coping?

Oh ginger. Thinking positive thoughts for you, I know we cant do anything to help, but we're here.
Keep us updated.

Oh ginger I have everything crossed for you xx

Thankyou, ginger. I may go to the GP if I don't start feeling a bit stronger. I have suffered stress-related depression in the past and don't want to fall back down there. The trouble is, my job is quite hectic (head of year in a secondary school) and in some ways time off just makes it worse as everything piles up and I return to mayhem because I have no-one who can step into my shoes when I'm off. Also I teach a lot of exam classes so I worry about them at this time of year... I am hoping I can just get through this next bit then be a bit more 'normal' after the Easter break.

My scan is Thursday, 10am. I will ask for an ERPC I think. I've known for nearly two weeks my baby is dead inside me and it's so horrible. And it's been dead for over a month with no cramps or bleeding so I've no confidence my body will behave as it should any time soon. Additionally, I am due to spend Easter in Scotland with DP and my parents. I really feel I need the R&R and am worried with a natural or medically managed option something could go wrong and I wouldn't be able to go.

I've just read back over your story - I really hope things are OK for you on Weds.

well fwiw i had an emergency erpc and i wish i had just gone straight for that. the time spent waiting really does take its toll on you psychologically i think.

do some research into it but if you're set on that i cant see it being a problem. our bodies are strange things. my baby stopped at 5+4 but wasnt discovered until 9 weeks. i then had to wait two weeks for rescan then another two weeks for it to happen naturally. your body can hold on for a while but i think that is something to take some comfort in (although i know we all just want it over with).

thank you and thank you wonky the bleeding seems to have stopped now. had so many positive stories on another post i just hope im one of them. wednesday feels forever away.

Oh just hold on Ginger. Hope it will be good news. It's a long wait till Wednesday. Agonising.
Sorry you are in this situation Ibeka. At my hospital they offered all the options equally and were willing to book in quickly as soon as they were satisfied about the mc. I would advise you to just request the surgery if that's what you want.

thanks fromwest havent had anymore blood since about 9ish this morning. just been resting however popped to shop as were out of a few things and neede a bday card.

was a little walk so thought if there was anymore to come it would be there when i got back, just checked and a little bit of brown and clear mucus so i think thats a good sign for now. if i can stay like this till scan at least its bareable.

gosh i so hope its good news. walking round the supermarket and seeing all the other mums i just kept thinking ud think it was easy or i wonder if any of them had a bleed?

I know what you mean about the supermarket - I keep looking at the 1000+ kids in my school and thinking "well, their parents all managed it". I'm glad your bleeding has stopped. I was in an AN thread until last week and several of the ladies there had bleeds that were fine. It was only me with no bleeding that wasn't!

Thanks for the advice from you both ginger and fromwest. I have spent most of the day on the miscarriage association website (whilst periodically telling my classes to be quiet and get on with their work ( bad teacher alert!) and definitely will ask for an ERPC.

my erpc was fine worst part for me was in the room where they give you the GA but that was only because i didnt have much prep and didnt expect so many people.

the procedure in itself i knew nothing about and didnt suffer at all afterwards bar being exhausted for a few days which i think was to do with the GA.

should have done it at the very beginning was my thoughts afterwards.

Hi, I started brown spotting on Saturday, which turned to red and cramping yesterday, and think I miscarried in the early hours of this morning

I am booked in for a scan tomorrow at 9.45. All my pg symptoms have disappeared, and a hpt I took this afternoon is faint, so I am pretty certain that this is it.

Physically i am in less pain now than I was earlier, emotionally I am a wreck, although completely cried out.

kep im so sorry. it sounds like physically the worst may be over, i hope so anyway.

emotionally, do you have people in rl to support you?

feel free to share how u feel on here we are a sympathetic and experienced ear and can hopefully help u through

Hi Kep. Very sorry to hear that. How many weeks are you? I hope the scan tomorrow comes quickly and you get good support there.

Hope its ok for me to join? I've had cramps for a couple of weeks. Had slight bleeding on Saturday, turned into full bleeding on Sunday. Scan yesterday showed no pregnancy, but had to take blood to be sure. Going back tomorrow for further tests, but feel like I already know the result. I'm just resting at the moment, but am feeling a bit calmer and less emotional today. DH has been wonderful, but I sent him back to work today, as there isn't a huge amount he can do. Sorry for everyone else going through this

Oh Kep, that sounds horrible. My story is very much like yours - a two week wait from finding out to having my ERPC, which I had yesterday. I was 13 weeks when I found out, so was keen to get it over with quickly.

I called and asked them to put me on the surgery list for the same day as my scan after seeing that suggested on here, which they were lovely about. They moved my scan forward to 8am to make sure I'd get on the list, and said that if the scan shows anything that changes my mind it doesn't have to go ahead. This was actually last week (1 week post original scan), the scan showed some growth of the foetal pole so surgery cancelled I was sent home for another week to be scanned again yesterday, when they found it was definitely not growing and the surgery went ahead.

I was bleeding but not a lot and didn't have much hope it would happen naturally any time soon. Two weeks is a very long time to wait with this knowledge. And having a definite date for the surgery helped me to prepare for what would happen and when, move work around and let my boss know how long I would need etc. I was bleeding a little and terrified it would suddenly get worse at work, thankfully I was able to work from home, which was ok for a week but wasn't something I could have continued if I'd miscarried naturally over the course of several weeks.

The ERPC yesterday was absolutely fine, the anaesthetist was absolutely lovely and held my hand as I went under, I was up and about really quickly and other than feeling a little woozy today I'm feeling really well. I was into surgery at 11 and home by 3.30. Not in any pain and hardly bleeding at all.

I should have been 15 weeks now, so I just wanted it finished so I could move on. Stupidly, I can't stop calculating age gaps with my toddler and possible baby age at my brother's wedding next year ("so if I conceived again by the end of April it'll be a three and a half year gap, that would be ok, they'd still relate to each other" "if I conceive by May I'll have given birth long enough before the wedding to have breastfeeding established" etc etc) and that's part of the time pressure I'm feeling. Mad I know.

Sorry to hear that AtAt . Will your DH be with you tomorrow?

Yes, he will be. Can anyone tell me what happens once it's confirmed as lost? Will they have to do anything else? I was probably between 6-8 weeks gone. I've taken this week off work, but don't know wether I should go back next week, just to try and get back to normality?

glad yesterday went well suz take it easy for the next couple of days. hopefully the relief of it being all over will sink in soon.

atat if nothing was seen on your scan i imaging you passed everything in your bleed on sunday. i that case i dont think there will be any further investigations. with regards to returning to work do that whenever you feel ready. physically you are likely over the worst but emotionally who knows.

i am so sorry for your loss, hope u r ok and have lots of support

Thanks gingerbread

Just read the whole thread. Gingerbread, I really hope everything is ok for tomorrow. I'm keeping everything crossed for you.

thanks at me too although im doubting it now. time will tell i suppose.

atat my scan this morning showed the same, no pregnancy but uterus not clear either. They assume that i've passed most but not all. So they did hcg today and then aother on Thursday to confirm levels are dropping. They said they'd carry on doing bloods until they dropped to zero.

I thought i'd be very weepy but think we'd prepared ourselves. Now i'm shattered, and just want Thursday's results.

I tested this morning again and it was still positive, but a bit fainter. How long will it take for a hpt to be negative?

ginger hope all goes well for you x

I'm so sorry to see that you lovely ladies are going through a tough time.

With regards to work - mine was a nightmare and the treatment I got from them was the final straw for me leaving. Take your time with returning, if you don't feel ready, speak to your gp and HR if you can. Don't push yourselves.

DH broke down in tears on mothers day, said he felt so hopeless about what happened, and that I'm not pregnant again yet. Bless him, he tries so hard. We're going into ttc this month trying to be less stressed about it all.

Your dh sounds lovely Mrs.

kep agree about wanting it to be over. I've accepted that I've lost it, but until i get the actual result, there is a small part thinking maybe they are wrong.

you wont get a negative test until about 2 - 3 weeks after mc. i would hold off testing if i were u, it takes a while for your hormone levels to drop.

mrsb your dp does sound lovely. im sure by next motheres day u will either be getting your first mothers day card or be carrying the dc that will give u it. i would take a laid back approach stress is no good at this time. hope u r ok