Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

[mrsb0710]

Original threadtotal headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

goneswimming I totally Understand. I find it really hard and have a cry each time. I just try and focus on that means we can try again. I sometimes find my mind hoping there had been an error and it's still positive for the right reasons or with a new pregnancy. But I know thats impossible.

Just got scanned and there are clots left but bleeding has stopped so going down the medical route. This is not going to be fun is it.

Just read back on the thread, so sad to see so many names I recognise from the TTC boards.

Feeling stronger today and not had to take any painkillers, they have totally messed up my insides although this could be the antibiotics too. The scan yesterday showed that it's not quite over yet but the advice is to let nature take its course. Yesterday was a real rollercoaster. I decided to drive to the scan and managed to prang the car in the hospital car park - on the plus side I couldn't care less as cars can be fixed. a bit annoyed with myself but it has reminded me that I need to take this journey slowly, however hard it may be. A friend came over with her 3 month old baby who really cheered me up, I was worried about seeing her but to be honest for me it was a real tonic and comfort.

I have achieved very little today but am letting myself go with it. DH told my boss yesterday and she was very understanding, sadly I think she knows what I am going through too. She has cancelled all my appointments and said not to come back until I am ready. It is a massive relief. Today I am going to aim for a few easy wins and nothing more.

Sending strength to you all, the support on here has been so reassuring and comforting. Thank you. I'm starting to believe that we will come out the other side of these dark days.

ninja Im glad you are starting to feel a little better of at least have the support you need.

Sorry I just seem to come on here to moan.

I've taken (inserted)the pills for medical management along with anti-nausea tablets and pain killers And nothing is happening. I'm very confused the hospital made it sound like the wrath of hades would descend on me. It feels ridiculous to be composing about the lack of pain and is be fine about that but there is blood, no sensation nothing. I'm lying in bed because the said to remain horizontal feeling a bit silly.

Complains not composing

bronze I have no idea what to expect for you but hope it gets going soon so it's over for you. Thinking of you

ninja so glad you are seeing some light and your boss has been so supportive but don't feel bad if you find some days you go backwards rather than forwards. It will pass and it does help put things in perspective!

Autumn hope you are ok

megan I hope you are resting today. Emotionally I did a combination of time to sit, cry and grieve and keep busy and as normal as possible. Not sure if it worked or if it was the best plan though. I'm also lucky as I only work 2 days a week and DH does split shifts so is home between 9am and 2 pm so had lots of time and support as needed. How are you feeling today?

I'm feeling a bit better - some sleep has helped too. DH is in the 'I'm dealing with it and no one understands me' mindset. I've tried but the issues aren't just the mc - his family have let him down massively during this time and he works odd hours meaning he doesn't have as much free time as most people for going out at the weekend etc and they book things and get shirty when he can't come due to work.

He seems a bit better but not sure how much is a front. I'm going to leave it a few days and try to talk to him again. Thanks for the support and asking after us x

Lilli has he got a friend you could prod to drag him out for a beer? This is my current tactic with my DH who is similarly head in the sand when it comes to emotions....don't think he would necessarily open up but feel he would benefit from getting out of the house.

bronze how are you getting on now? Hope it gets going soon - sooner started sooner done anyway ....sorry it's come to this.

I've had a day of not being able to get off the sofa - feel thoroughly crap! Unbelievable how different I feel from day to day. Can't even say I feel sad - just physically run down and fluey. Hoping tomorrow's better.

Lillana.. Yes I still have pain but have rested today and tomorrow my dd is going to my parents so I'm going to rest all day. I have cried today... Yet!

Mega.. I also feel completely wiped, like I have slept for days and I have a cold aswell (but maybe due to dd)

megan glad things are slowly easing up for you.

Still nothing here. It is so frustrating. I'm just sick and tired of this now. If this doesn't work then it will be medical management which is really my (personal) last choice. I have a real fear of spending time in hospital.

I meant to say haven't cried today yet! Doh..

The waiting I found the worst part of all of it! Hope something happens soon for you bronze.

Mega hope tomorrow is better for you. That is my plan. He has the perfect mate who is lovely and been through major depression himself. We went for dinner on Sunday and I managed to have a quick chat about how he's not coping well and I'm worried. They have arranged to go out next Saturday which is what I hoped would happen but DH is already saying he might cancel. I think his mate would see through any excuse though as it's exactly what he did and would turn up on our doorstep (fx) which is what DH did to him!

Bronze so sorry your still waiting I was really hoping it would well on its way for you. I don't know anything but there are lots of ladies here who can talk you through what will happen.

Sounds good Megan try to do something nice and relaxing just for you tomorrow.

Not mc related but this has hit me hard - I crashed my car today. It was so horrible. I'm physically ok though shocked and achey, but I feel wretched Things were really starting to get better, I was actually feeling happy again, and now I'm a massive ball of anxiety again.

mynameissuz how horrid. I totally understand. I pranged my car when I went for my scan. Try and be gentle with yourself. You are going through a traumatic time as it is, if no one was hurt it can all be fixed. Look after yourself and let others do the same. Thinking of you, try and rest to get over the shock of the accident. I know that it feels like a massive setback but just take your time. Sending positive vibes.

Hugs suz. Look after yourself

Hope everyone is ok. My bleeding has stopped, so when shall i expect my first period? X

suz that sounds awful, no wonder you're shaken. are you feeling any better now?

bronze how are you doing? have been wondering how it's been going. really hope things have concluded for you.

Lilli hope things are ok with home and family.

Megan I understood it can be a bit of a wacky cycle, so not predictable at all when AF will come - not much help I know! Maybe others can tell you more.

Bittersweet news today - got scanned and thankfully most of the tissue has gone although I will still be bleeding for a while. Such a relief. However the doctor has told us we need to wait until August to try again (we're having Clomid treatment). Utterly devastated - had been pinning my hopes on getting back into trying to conceive as quickly as all you regular folk. Just feel like our lives are on hold now! Haven't felt this upset since we found out we'd lost the baby. Really desperately want to move on.

Thanks everyone, I'm not feeling better really - I'd been feeling ok but I think this is the last straw. It's broken me.

Mega, that sounds really tough. August is not too long to wait, I know it feels like it, but it's only three months. By the time I'm over all the sickness I've had it'll be at least that before I'm back on the wagon. The waiting is so hard, would it help you to focus on getting your body strong and fit and healthy during that time?

Hello again ladies, not sure if you remember me but I posted on here several weeks ago during the midst of my mmc with my first pg. Just wanted to update you all, had 5th scan today after medical management 3weeks ago,.....still retained products :'( ERPC booked for Monday, camera first to check it is retained products and not something else (not very reassuring) the whole mmc process has now bumped up to 6-7 weeks and I now just want it over so I can properly heal and move on. Was thinking of what I could do as a memorial to our lost DC .... Though about a plant but thought that when the plant eventually dies, it would unearth the feelings of loss from the mmc, then thought about an ornament but wanted something more personal.....i decided to write a poem to frame.... Hoped it may inspire other ladies to do something similar, as I really think writing it is helping me accept our loss and say goodbye ...... Here it is......

Once upon a time, I grew you a home. From that moment I was not alone.
My body changed, as did my image of you.
My first child had now come true.
I held you close and pictured your smile, the colour of your eyes, your hair, that smell.
I thought that you were mine to keep, then one day, with the angels you went to sleep.
I had you for only a short while, now in my heart I'll keep your smile.

No one will ever know the cost, of the dreams we had and lost. In my dreams you'll always be, my unborn child, a part of me.
You're in my prayers, I pray you hear it, my precious child, my child in spirit. Xxx

That's lovely allmypaws. I'm hopeless at writing but am making my own little memory too as scared I'll kill any plant that comes near me!

suz have you got people in RL you can talk to? I found it help even if you feel your going over and over the same things. And don't forget we're always here x

mega sorry no clue what clinic does so not sure if this is stupid but could you just see what happens? Your supposed to be really fertile after mc so maybe it will happen naturally?

Megan I was told 4-6 weeks after bleeding starts but they did say it's very unpredictable.

Hope all are doing ok xx

Mega clinic = clomid bloody auto correct

Feeling awful today (just a cold but really suffering) and went into out office to find it raining all overt cutting stuff and it's ruined the feather I had ready for framing as our memory for baby. How ironic than I decided not to have a plant so I couldn't kill it! Safe to say today has had its challenges! Things are good on the whole though so need to look at the big picture.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend

Thanks Lill hope you feel better soon, your idea for memorial is lovely too...got my ERPC tomorrow so getting early night tonight as had zero sleep last night! Zzzzz x