Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

[mrsb0710]

Original threadtotal headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

A lot of people know with me. I quite like people knowing but I don't like telling them, it makes me cry. But it's been good to not have to hide anything.
Even more people know now because I had to throw friends out of my house this evening and go to a&e as I started cramping and passing huge clots (about the size of my hand) just as they arrived. I was doing the whole I'm sure "it's fine even though I can't stand up" thing but DH wasn't having it. Dr says it's likely the smom wasn't completed so I'm doing expectant management with several types of antibiotics that apparently are going to make me feel sick. I can't wait. Stupid funny shaped womb.

Sandman that sounds awful for you. I went to A&E before I had the 'bad news' scan as I was cramping and bleeding and it was the most intense pain I have ever experienced. Like contractions every 3 minutes - they had to give me gas and air. It was like a nightmare mini labour with none of the good bit at the end !
Quite a few people know what happened to me too. Like you, I quite like people knowing as I don't want to just continue as if it never happened ! Also, I think people should know more about it in general because before I went through it I had no idea it was anything so horrific as this - you only think how awful emotionally it must be, not that there are all these physical decisions to make - natural or ERPC, what you want to happen to the tissue after the ERPC etc etc. It's felt like the longest week ever.
I held it together all through work yesterday then once home it was the first night DP and I have been on our own since the ERPC as his parents were staying over Easter and I think all my emotions had been hovering on the edge and I proper sobbed !! Felt good though to let go and have a good cry !!

I'm lucky and the pain isn't too bad, I have pretty terrible periods so it's not much worse than that but I'm struggling with the rest. Like you say you assume a miscarriage just happens, 3 weeks from my first a&e trip, lots of appointments and scans and an operation and still there's no end in sight. I only work 2 days a week but since it always seems to happen on a Tuesday (I work wed-thurs) I've not been back yet. If I'm not getting a baby I just want to go back to normal!

Hi all, I've had a couple of weeks off - one week of awful depression following the SMM and then I've been on holiday a week. Hi to mrsB - we chatted on the feb ttc thread, where I got my BFP. I can't count how many people have told me 'at least you know you can get pregnant'. Every time someone does, I become more convinced I never will again.

Had my SMM on Monday 23rd. It was fine and the I couldn't fault the staff. Surgeon, nurses, HCAs and anaesthetists all amazing. I felt awful the next day though. GP signed me off work for the week, which took me to the easter hold, but I went in the Firday in the end as I'm a bit of a control freak and couldn't leave stuff undone. It was a mistake, I was sobbing into my coffee by 8.20am and deputy head tried to send me home. When I said I didn't want to be alone, she ended up covering all my classes and letting me work on mundane admin tasks in my office.

Being away last week a great tonic, but today feel really low again. I just POAS and it is still +ve which I am worried about and I just feel so bleak. Everywhere I turn I'm being baby bombed. DP is at work and so I'm moping about the house alone and at a real loss for what to do. I've been knitting and reading and watching TV but nothing helps and I can't work up the energy to leave the house. I never realised that getting pregnant would be such an ordeal. After trying to avoid it for 15 years I feel utterly cheated that it is such a roller coaster. And i've not even been through the half of what some of you ladies have.

Hi all well I finally had my scan and they found a baby with heartbeat measuring 6-7 weeks but they also found a bleed around it which they've said could go on its own but also increases chance of mc. I can't do anything but wait now until 12weeks unless I have a bleed then I have to go back to epu.
Hope you scan goes well today under be thinking of you x

Ibeka I know what you mean about trying to avoid pregnancy for so many years and now it's a roller coaster.
I'm so frightened of being pregnant again as it's been such heartache but a friend of mine who has been through this twice and now has 2 children says that one day you'll just feel like you've got your fighting spirit back !

That's great news wheresmybump. Of course you'll still worried about the bleed but hopefully that will go away on its own like they said.

I had my scan this afternoon, there was nothing left in my womb so I guess it's back to trying again!

Oh I am so sorry under

Under i admire your spirit and wish you a BFP very soon.

Wheres, brilliant news about the heartbeat. I hope the blood they saw just reabsorbs and causes no problems for this pregnancy.

Had some horrific cramps today but no clots. I'm praying i get through tonight and tomorrow morning so i can have the ERPC in the afternoon.

Just had my negative pregnancy test. Closure in a way I suppose.

halestone hope all goes well tomorrow afternoon.

Oh no Adventure i can only guess how devastating a BFN is right now. I don't think i want to do it i know i have to though

I felt surprisingly calm actually. In a way I think I'd have been upset if it was showing positive when I know I'm not anymore. The BFN came quicker than I expected tho ? Only been a week since the ERPC !

Will you be trying again straight away or taking some time out?

DP has said hes not willing to try again anytime soon. This was a surprise pregnancy (but still very much wanted).

Same here I think. We weren't trying but not being careful either - leaving it up to fate ! So I think we'll take some time to get our heads round it all but we do want to try again. I'm scared of it happening again and DP doesn't want to put me thro it again but I'm not getting any younger so we don't have that long to think ! Plus my cycle is about 45 days long so that reduces our chances too !

halestonehope everything goes ok tomorrow xx

This pregnancy happened a long cycle my last LMP was 5/1/15 but i didn't actually conceive till the 8/2/15. So that was a shock. I need to be practical about waiting but the emotions are taking over. I just want DP to say we'll try again and give me a time frame. Hes adamant about leaving the topic alone. I am going to respect his wishes for now.

Thanks you for my good luck wishes as you can tell i can't sleep.

Hi, I'm sorry so many of you are going through this. I hope you don't mind me crashing but I went for an early scan yesterday after bleeding and found out I've miscarried. Been reading these threads but not sure that the abbreviations mean or what exactly has happened to me.

Basically I had about 4 days of bleeding and then passed a cheery sized clot that I think was the embryo (Is that the right term?
I was about 8 weeks at this point) after this the bleeding has pretty much stopped. Scan said there was no sign of anything in there so assume miscarriage but as I still had positive of test and they hadn't seen the baby before I need blood tests to confirm its not ectopic.

Ive had a few cramps but nothing major. From reading some of the mc threads most peoples experience is much worse so do I have more to come or have I been 'lucky' (in the worst kind of way)

Sorry for all the questions and me me me but I don't seem to be able to find any answers and if they told me what was happening at the hospital I clearly didn't take it in.

Hi Lilliana, sorry that you have to join us.
I mc at about 6 weeks. I started bleeding on the Saturday, and it had stopped by the Thursday. I only had to take painkillers once, the rest of the time, I had cramps, but they weren't overly painful.
Your experience sounds very similar to mine. Hope you are doing OK. I found that once I knew it wasn't ectopic, I could start to move on. I had to do a test a week after the last blood test, and I was quite relieved to see a negative, as I felt I could then move on.

It's hard to know what to do with trying/waiting isn't it. For the first time in our marriage DH is more keen for a baby than me, which is a nice change. I am not sure I can face trying again, but on the other hand it would be nice to be pregnant before the EDD so I've got something nice to hold on to. Thankfully DH is happy to leave the topic until I get my head a bit more straight.

halestone I was the same with dp after mc#1 but I gave him time even though I was desperate to try straight away. Hopefully a bit of healing time will help your dp x

Lilliana so sorry you've had to join this thread. There are some abbreviations listed at the top of the mumsnet page but here's a few to save you searching
mc - miscarriage
mmc - missed miscarriage
DP/DH - Darling partner/husband
BFN - big fat negative as in pregnancy test
smm - surgical management of miscarriage which is the same procedure as..
ERPC - which is the operation under general to clear out any pregnancy tissue if you don't want to wait and let it happen naturally
I haven't experienced an eptopic but once you get the results of that if there's nothing showing up then I dont think you'd have to have anything more ?
This thread has really helped me get through this. I had my BFN last night and rather than upset me it feels like I can pick myself up now and be stronger.
Ask any questions you like - someone will have been through the exact same and will want to help you.

Halestone it could be that your DP doesn't want to put you through this again - that's what mine has said to me. He wants to try again but keeps saying I'm sorry I put you through this like he feels it's his fault. My friend said to me that one day you just get your fighting spirit back and know you are ready to try again. Give him time to heal.
Hope all goes well this afternoon.

Lilliana

www.mumsnet.com/info/acronyms

lilliana sorry for your loss. They check everyone with blood tests to make sure your levels are falling especially if they haven't seen anything on scan so don't worry, it can take days to get a negative once the bleeding stops but like atat said it's quite a relief to know it's ended

Halestone your cycle sounds similar to mine. My last LMP was 25th December but didn't conceive til 24th Jan. I use a really good app on my phone called period tracker and it did get to learn my cycle and was pretty good at predicting ovulation, fertile days and period due and it gave me an average cycle of about 42 days. It's worth getting if you do want to try again as with an irregular cycle it's hard to know when you might be ovulationg - at least this gives you some idea even if it might be a few days out ?