Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

[mrsb0710]

Original threadtotal headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

Thanks suz
halestone I totally understand you wanting to be alone with dp to deal with it, I think you need to focus on yourselves and as great as distractions are when it's kids demanding time and patience it will only make it harder.

youre very welcome adventure this was where i got all my support when it happened to me.

its good that they identified the blood type, at least for future pregnancies you can be prepared with whatever it is you need and i would wait until you speak to the consultant to see what that is (however tempting google is).

i wouldnt associate the mmc with the blood type tho for the moment at least.

hope u r feeling ok today and hope everyone else on the thread is ok

I managed to have a quiet word with Dp and explain my feelings so he rang his mum and she has come for DsD and took her to her house. We explained to DsD why so that she knew the reason and she was brilliant about it.

ginger I found this link if I can work out how to post it that explains the rhesus negative really clearly and I'm not worried that it might have caused the mmc as this was my first pregnancy so that's not possible !

www.nct.org.uk/pregnancy/rhesus-negative-blood-and-pregnancy

Oops that posted before I was ready.
I wanted to say I hope everyone is coping ok. I never imagined this would be so hard to get thro - you never hear of this side of pregnancy unless you're in the middle of it !!

well thats reassuring adventure. its a terrible situation to be in,i had only heard of mmc as it happened to my friend a few years before otherwise i wouldnt have even known it was possible.

its a long process of grieving and thats exactly what it is. it doesnget better though and in future pregnancies the odds are in our favour.

Does it feel surreal to anyone else? Yesterday i didn't think about it much other than thinking it was a mistake and my baby would really be ok. Today i have light cramping and the bleeding is starting so i'm crying again.

Hi ladies. I'm so sorry for feeling as if I'd abandoned you all. Took a break from mn, I've been on a ttc thread, but even that I needed time off.
Looks like af is on her way again, so 3 cycles after my mmc. Each one has been harder, as I keep thinking why me. Why am I not pg yet.
I've been spotting throughout my cycles, so I'm going to the gp to push for bloods and a scan to ensure nothing is wrong there.
Perhaps my body just isn't ready yet. DH and I have had a horrible day, I just want to cry, and don't want to gear myself up for another af, and what's seems like another wasted month of hoping.
I guess things get easier, but it still hits home at times.
I'll try to check in more regularly, as I know some of you are just at the start of this hard journey. You are all so brave - just remember that. Be strong ladies

So I had no bleeding at all for 2 days after ERPC then some bright red bleeding today and it's thrown me a bit.

Oh mrsb, I'm sorry you're feeling low. I'm not even one period in yet but completely get the feeling of time getting away and stretching longer and longer. I worry about getting to my due date not pregnant. Still feeling physically a little rubbish and have been eating a bit better and planning exercise (not actually doing though... yet). I've started telling myself that every month I'm not pregnant will a month my body is getting stronger and fitter and more ready for pregnancy so when it does happen it'll go right. I want it to happen soon but if it doesn't I'll be ready for it when it does. Does that make sense? It might not do it for you but it's helping me to stave off the feeling of panic I briefly felt in that first week when I was mentally re-calculating age gaps and feeling ever worse.

Thanks suz. I feel that way too, but then af arrives and I stress some more.
I hate that people say 'oh, at least you can get pregnant'. Um, thanks, because I really needed the trial run!

Going to see what happens the next few days and then make an appointment. I want to make sure nothing is abnormal after the erpc.

I can't believe people have said that to you, how insensitive!! It isn't really a consolation if it still hasn't worked out how you hoped .

Definitely make the appointment and get checked out, hopefully it's nothing.

I can imagine it's hard each month and am dreading it, no matter how you rationalise it you can't help how you feel.

Suz - don't even get me started on how insensitive/rude people can be. My mmc caused me to resign from a 2 yr job, and have a massive 'friend' clear out. It made me realise how short life is, and how sometimes you near to clear out mentally and physically.
Once the hormones settle I'll feel a bit better. Sorry if I sound an emotional mess right now. You don't forget, but it does get a little easier with time.

hey ladies, sorry to hear youre all feeling so down at the moment.

i just wanted to post a bit of positiveness for mrsb as weve kept each other company throughout this thread. my friend didnt conceive till almost a year following her mmc. the good news is, the pregnany went smoothly and her little dc is 2 this week.

also, i know i cant really talk as i feel lucky that i fell quite quick but looking at a positive spin for you, the longer it takes the more you will heal and the horrible memories of what happened will be more distant and hopefully not there at the forefront of your mind in a new pregnancy causing uneccesary worry. i hope anyway.

I want to be pregnant again but at the same time the thought frightens me as well !!

Thanks ginger. AF still isn't here properly, which is even more annoying as I want it over with. Feeling a bit better today, knowing I can't change it, so I need to re focus.

Mrsb0170 - the insensitivity is astounding. All i got from my boss (IN THE HEALTH SERVICE) was 'awww' and the anaesthetist that put me under for my SMM was laughing and asking me why I was crying!! Ive already written a complaint letter to the hospital, but you are right, it can be life changing to realise who is 'adult' enough to accept the grief and reality of this scenario, and who is too selfish to look outside their little box. I'm so sorry we're all going through this but I feel that there has to be hope somewhere. I guess that's what keeps me going xxx

Not sure if I will word this properly, or if anyone else feels like this.
I really want to try again, and would love to get pregnant again asap. However, I keep feeling guilty, like I'm trying to replace the lost baby quickly, as if it didn't matter. I obviously don't feel like this, but can't stop odd feelings of guilt sneaking in.

Atat I know what you mean. I feel guilty when I haven't cried about it for a while but I know I have to heal and move on.

Hi AtAt,

Dont know if this would help but when myself and my OH saw a counsellor about our v. recent miscarriage she lit a candle and we have kept it as a symbol of the baby we lost. We also want to try again ASAP but I will always keep this candle as a reminder of that baby. So he/she will never be forgotten or replaced.

Catinajar im so sorry to hear of the awful responses you've had. Good on you for complaining.

Best wishes to everyone on here.

I've just had some grade A insensitivity. Phone just rang and a lady started prattling on about how I was feeling and she was just phoning to see if she could come out and see m, it suddenly dawned on me what she was going on about.... She was the health visitor wanting to do a prebirth visit. I had to tell her - um I had a miscarriage the week before Christmas and you were supposed to be informed. Thanks for once again ruining my day.
It wasn't her fault but it's the 4th insensitive health professional phone call since my miscarriage- common denominator being my GP surgery - I have completely lost faith in them.

Wow Wonky, i think i would be putting a complaint into the Practice Manager. I hope your ok

I am gutted i have waited till today to ring the EPAU and tell them i would like a ERPC and they can't get me in till Thursday afternoon. I started bleeding lightly on Sunday and its now increasing and i have stomach cramps that are in varying intensity. I can't stand seeing the blood on a pad now as thats suppose to be my baby, i have no idea how i will cope when i pass the actual foetus.

Oh hailstone that sounds hard

Hope you don't mind if I join.
I had a smom last Tuesday and thought it was over until I started bleeding again on Sunday. (I was out, it was embarrassing).also found out my good friend is pregnant (she is 2 weeks behind where I should be). Today has been hard and I'm dreading October.

I went back to work today (had ERPC on Thursday by paying for it privately as NHS couldn't fit me in til this Friday - 10 days wait). It felt really strange like everything at work had just carried on whilst me and DP had been thro such trauma and heartache ! I know we have to move on but I'm clinging to everything I can remember about being pregnant with this baby even tho it's not there anymore. I don't want to move on - I want to shout what's happened to everyone !

Hi Sandman sorry you have been through this. I know what you mean about dreading the EDD.

Adventure its horrible its such a traumatic thing to go through and not being able to talk about it somehow makes the grief worse.