Recurrent Miscarriage Support thread 13 - tests, treatment, trying again

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone! A thread for anyone who has experienced recurrent miscarriages and is in need of information, companionship, tea and sympathy. Newbies welcome to join at any stage.

Start with the traditional recap please......

tanny/flen can utterly understand... every once in a while I say to DH "do you think we can do this? Are we going to be ok parents? Do we even want to be parents? Maybe we can be fabulous childless travelling people or something."

I looked at getting a ring made with mine and my OH fingerprints on it with never forgotten inside. Never actually got it but it was quite therapeutic designing it. It's been such a rollercoaster with getting pregnant again so quickly after each one I said that if this one doesn't make it we should have a break and do something to mark them all. I like the idea of letting go of the grief and remembering the happy bits. Scan on Tuesday, scanxiety hasn't kicked in yet but I'm sure it will! We're 8 weeks today so the next two weeks are my danger zone. Really wish I had a fast forward button!

Thank you all for the kind welcome. Good luck for those who have scans this week, I'll be thinking of you.

I'm glad it doesn't seem weird to be unsure of ttc again. Being off the roller coaster has been such a relief. It's going to be a big shock getting back on it again. And Charlie, your feelings sound completely normal to me. I'm not even sure I want no.2 that badly but OH does. Chucking it all in and setting off round the world really seems appealing at times.

I haven't really commemorated my losses before this year. But I was able to ask my friend to read them out at this year's all hallows service (she's a priest, I'm not religious, but I thought it might help). I named my last lo too to try and help deal with it better.

Baking - she's never 6 months already? ?? (You see, I do lurk )

Its nice to voice that doubt, and to hear nods of recognition.

Boozle the rollercoaster is bonkers, and you will have time eventually to remember. We are here for all the hand holding you need over the next couple of weeks.

Indeed. And that conversation sometimes follows a chaotic day out with Other People's Children... or is that just me....
Good luck today, Tanny.

I meant Tiny. Although, general good wishes to everyone , anyway. I'm still half asleep... Hand holding, Boozle.

Good luck for today tiny. I am 10 weeks today and I cannot believe how slowly time is moving. I have only known for 8 weeks, but it seems like forever.
I haven't really commerorated any of mine. I do light candles in nice churches whereever I go but I think that is as much as a symbol of hope. I don't think I have done my grieving yet, for me the degree of pain will be directly linked to the oucome of this pregnancy. If it goes tits up then I am fullly expecting the wheels to come off for a while. If I do end up having a baby, then I expect the reality of that will bring home the sadness of losses in a very real way. We shall see.

Good luck for today Tiny

Tiny, after the initial "is there a baby in there?" bit, try to relax and enjoy it. As has already said, you deserve it! x

been. Not the only dopey one this morning, Just*!

thanks all, it's not until 11am

shall keep you posted when i can, but as i have the whole day off, planning on rushing to the cinema afterwards to try and catch mr turner before i have to do nursery pick up

and regarding the previous mcs, the only one i really stop and think about it is the first one as the due date is hard to forget as it was christmas day 2010

Hope it goes well Tiny, and that Mr Turner is good!

All normal on the report but blooming child uncooperative for face, lips and heart so will go back in 3 weeks for another.

But listened to the HB and he did Doppler flow and all seemed OK.

However he also called a student in to see something unusual... Apparently my placenta is split in two, a main bit and a little bit, but as the cord enters the main bit it is OK, apparently if it was on the small bit of the bit between the two could lead to abruptions.

I wonder if the clexane had anything to do with it or if it was just luck of the draw...

That all sounds positive tiny. Bet you aren't so tiny any more!

Yay, tiny, for the good scan and for being half-way there!

Try not to worry too much about the placenta, I've never heard clexane causing this, but you never know... I find it unlikely, though! Will they be monitoring this, ie will you be getting more scans ?

AF showed up yesterday , and in consequence, I was in a rotten mood all day (poor DH and DS got a lot of grief). I feel that I am turning into a horrible moody and unreliable person, it's just awful. I honestly don't know how much longer I can keep going with all this...

cloud I send you strength! AF becomes double rotten when TTC.

tiny hooray!

Yay, Tiny, and they'd let you know if they had any concerns about a funny placenta, I'm sure. All my babies have been uncooperative in scans..

Good news tiny counting down from now on!

cloud sorry the witch got you. It's very hard on the TTC rollercoaster, even more so when you already know it's only the first hurdle.

Great news tiny and hugs cloud, you can't help but hope each month and then be disappointed

The conversation last night on here about the habit of wanting something compared to actually knowing you still want it really echoed many days I have had. I am pretty sure how much I want a family but I do a lot of water sports and sometimes I just wonder if I'd be a better semi alcoholic sailor than a parent! I guess it's just natural thoughts to question everything after so long. Good to hear I'm not alone in these thoughts

tiny great news! I have not come across the placenta issue before, but they don't sound too worried it seems?

cloud dammit. Relate to your preferred choice of turkey baster. How long has it taken you to get pg in the past? Next month get drunk...

Sorry i know i've missed people, on phone on bus..

I haven't marked my losses properly. Every area of life has been pretty damned stressful for the last couple of years..all the big stuff, quite separately from the mc's. I have had to stay in control and together for DS who is everything. Its a box of emotion I cant open right now but I will when the time is right.

After mc 4 I tried very hard to convince myself that maybe another child was not a sensible or practical path to aim for. I did quite a good job. I still ache for it, and I know it's what I want, but life can be so bloody complicated. Now I am 5+5 and just scared of every possible outcome.

just don't worry, other peoples children are always less appealing than your own!

Scan tomorrow, but i O'd late so am probably only 5+3 or something. At least I have no expectations of a hb. Still scared things will be way off somehow though.

Good luck bootles

oh bootles I'm so sorry. Sounds like you've had a really tough time. Good luck for tomorrow, let us know how it goes xx

Good luck bootles and also boozle I think you said it was this week you get another scan. Brilliant news that all is okay tiny and it doesn't sound like they were that worried about the placenta thing. Hopefully just them fascinated by seeing something different. Did they mention it in previous scans?
Sorry you got af cloud. Such a frustrating time for you
The having second thoughts /questioning if it's what you want thing sounds like a perfectly reasonable reaction to MC. Probably your subconscious trying to protect you from the pain of the loss. Doesn't mean it's really not what you want I don't think.

Congrats tiny!!

Sorry to hear AF has arrived cloud. Onwards and upwards!

Good luck Bootles. Given the current string of good news - hopefully this luck will rub off on you too! Fx for you.

Sorry I have been lurking as not much to report. Amazing to hear of all the bfps. This is one lucky thread.