How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

Diamonds Am so sorry, I didn't read all the posts properly and have just seen you were feeling really sad last night. You poor girl, it is better though to let it out and have a cry and the wine probably helped you express it. Sending you a big hug too.

We are all very soppy on this thread - we'll be kicked off Mumsnet and sent over to Babycentre!

Morning all!

I've read through everyone's posts but - is anyone else finding this - I think my brain is totally f*cked at the moment! It's hard to retain any information. My usually excellent memory has me searching around for friend's names etc. Rather worrying as I have to do a bit of presenting work tomorrow and that always involves remembering a lot of words in a high pressured situation.

Diamonds hope you are feeling a bit better today. Cream highly annoying about your weird BFN. It does seem that it is indeed a negative but I haven't ever seen that happening either. Crazy I guess it is good about your negative in the long run but I know that doesn?t help.

I completely agree Cream about it being so frustrating to have gone through these 12 weeks of weird body changes for nothing. And those first few weeks dragged. In fact it all dragged and I was just looking towards that 12 week scan to hopefully tell everyone so it would drag much less.

Hello again bigflip (am 37 this year so not so far behind you and big waves to Inmaculada and Really. Glad you are all finding ways to hopefully try to feel better whilst I am out drinking for England.

I have also just come back from the docs and she has given me a prescription for iron to see if that will help my energy levels. Had to have a post-dinner nap yesterday and still feel tired today.

Weird body changes of the day ? clear discharge (got to be a good sign?) and odd twinges in the ovary region. Doctor says maybe I am ovulating?

Oh yes, and my thyroid antibodies levels are around 430 when they really should be negative. Looked this up and people with raised thyroid antibodies have double the chance of people without these of miscarrying. Joy. The doc is referring me to St Mary's for tests but I am not sure if I meet their criteria. Makes me a bit scared of ttc again.

Rather less sunny and optimistic today...

PS Just found that if I write this in a word doc then cut and paste I can go back to everyone?s post when am writing it. Maybe am not so dim after all ☺

Ooh Freelance There was talk about thyroid levels on the other board the other day... I shall have a hunt. There are all sorts of things you can do to sort it out.

Back in a tick

Here we go:

There's this list from the wise ladies:

www.marilynglenville.com/infertility.htm

Apparently selenium and brazil nuts help with thyroid antibodies

Hi all! This page has really taken off freelance, I'm glad we all have this little community!

Totally agree Creamcracker about the first 12 weeks being the longest. I found the same when was carrying DD that it was very lonely feeling sick and tired with no-one to share it with and was looking forward to being able to enjoy being pregnant and all the attention you get!

Freelance I think my brain was slowly recovering from the last pregnancy and has totally gone again, I have a memory-span of about 3 seconds at the minute!

On the positive side I had a weekend of red wine, pate, blue cheese and Camembert and I even had a sneaky fag! And, am going hell for leather at work to try and impress the boss into promoting me. Gotta find a focus elsewhere, I'm very impressed with all the gym bunnies! Gave up on my figure shortly after DD as theres no way you'll find me jumping up and down before 6am or after 8pm (the only time I have to myself these days)!!. Looking forward to some bike rides and hill-walking in the Summer tho.

Diamonds how are you feeling this morning? Sunday was a very low day for me, and it took me by surprise really. Think I've underestimated the effect of the hormones and, actually, the horror of all the blood (and the rest) last week. Came into work today and someone was talking about their sister having just given birth- had to fight the tears back. You just can never predict when its going to hit you.

Thanks for that Really, it's good in terms of listing supplements to take. I might invest in a few more - already taking a pg supplement and omega 3 and now selenium. Where was the discussion the other day do you remember? Have posted my own to see if anyone has any experience of this.

Oops sorry Magic crossed posts. Nice to 'see' you!

Yes it is so up and down isn't it. I have had that 'unexpected tears' thing quite a bit. Sometimes I think I am fine then I remember that am not.

Glad your brain is as screwed up as mine, it's like the baby brain didn't go away when the baby did. I had two sneaky fags last night too! We are wild and crazy...

Impressed that you are going all out at work. My work is really suffering. I can't think straight! I am managing to get done everything I need to do (slowly) but as a freelance I also need to be out flogging my wares and pitching ideas etc for the next lot of work and I just don't seem to be able to manage to do that. Too busy on mumsnet and online researching every damn thing about this bloody situation!

Hi! I'm new to mumsnet. I have a 2.5 year old daughter and just had a miscarriage last month. I was 9 weeks far and it happened at the middle of the night and I was totally alone. My husband came from Germany the next day and was with me during the ERPC surgery but after that he left and started acting as if nothing happened.
I was alone feeling like crap all the time and I didn't even what to get out of bed. Is it normal for men to feel that way? Just act as if it never happened?

Freelance It was at about 3pm on Friday.

Magic I was eating pretty much the same as you at the weekend! Sunday was the worst day so far for me, am sorry you experienced the same. It really is very up and down and I am avoiding every pregnant person I know and definately Facebook.

I agree about the slightly battered brain. I have exactly the same, am being so forgetful. I am at home with DC so don't have the pressure of having to perform at work but I'm sure my DC would say I am performing below par at home!

I have a bizarre side effect. TMI. I usually have non fertile CF all the time so had to use Conceive plus when we were trying to conceive DD and the M/C. Nothing has ever made a difference to it, tried grapefruit juice, robitussin etc. Anyway, seem to now have it - which is obviously great for TTC again but am puzzled as to why. Am also taking chinese herbs given to me by the acupuncturist I saw last week. Any ideas?

Oh harassed, that's awful. I'm sorry that happened. Condolences to all of you, but i wanted to try to share something which i hope may cheer you up. last year- jan- i was pregnant with a surprise baby- i was 38- i mc at 10 weeks. Nobody told me about waiting etc. MC lasted from 26 jan to 18 Feb and was excruciating. Felt awful. On 22 feb my wedding anniversary, so glad not to be in pain any more, had sex with husband and got pg again. solomon born 29.11.10 after a very anxious 9 months. Mcd baby was due 06.09.10. so, yes you can. i did request a group b strp test, otherwise no different to other pgs except the worrying! I hope this gives you hope, he is sleeping here while i type x And i'll be 40 in May.

oh, the main problem was trying to convince my gp etc. had the indignity of pg tests at my first gp and nidwife appts. Think they thought i was hysterical etc.

reemnafie, I'm so sorry. i think men just handle things differently, also it's not his body so he probably doesn't realise how painful it is etc. But you might find he just doesn't want to show his feelings in case it upsets you more? male friends of mine have told me they feel like that sometimes. have you tried talking to him about it? Maybe there is something you could do together to mark your baby's short life if thatwould help. Some churches have services or if you're not religious you could plant a tree or name a star- i hope that doesn't sound silly, those are just examples, but something to show him it has meaning for you and you want to approach it together. Good luck, i'm so sorry x

lucyhoneybee I think you're right. I should talk to him about it.

hey everyone, 6+4 and have had period pain like feeling for a couple of days, was woken up at 1am this morning by excruciating pain like nothing I've experienced before (first pregnancy!). It lasted about 40mins, no blood and back to dull ache today, has anyone else had this? The midwife advised me to stay at home today.... she said there is a possibility it will be OK but now I'm just waiting for the blood loss to start!!?

reemnafie-My OH has also 'forgotton' about it, he dosn't want to talk about it but will grudgingly. Can you remind your DH how upset you are and that you need a bit of TLC and also you want to know how he feels about it.

Sunshinehugs-It may be okay. Could you visit your GP to see what he/she thinks? Sorry, I'm sure someone with more knowledge will be along soon.

Crazybit- Indeed that is what I intend to do this weekend!

Sunshinehugs - I recommend you go to your nearest hospital for a quick scan. Hopefully it will be nothing but my experience with midwives is a bit lousy, they tend to downplay everything! It's better to be sure and check everything's ok.

Hi Reemnafie, sorry your OH is being a bit of a pain about this. As Lucy says he will find it very hard to imagine what you are going through and may be it is some protection mechanism. My DH has been pretty upset about it all but he can talk about his emotions. Both of us are quite ratty with each other and having the occasional row too!

Sunshinehugs You definitely should go to hospital. There might not be much that can be done but if you go there now before the weekend there will be a better chance of tests. See if your hospital has an Early Pregnancy Unit.

I hope everything is ok for you, but if it is not there is a lot of support on here. Here is a good thread where many women have been through the same thing, some of us with sad outcomes and some that have been fine after bleeding and pain. Try to be positive if you can but do get it checked out asap xx

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/1179429-Apologies-for-TMI-but-please-DESCRIBE-dischargeof-miscarriage-TIA

Really as to your question about non fertile CF and Conceive plus I don't know what they are! You are much more clued up than me with the MN language... Please explain and I will come up with a theory.

What are the chinese herbs given by your acupuncturist? And how was the session? I have read a lot about acupuncture on here and it sounds really interesting.

Reemnafie So sorry to hear your news but welcome to Mumsnet. Sorry to hear your DH hasn't been very supportive - agree with Lucy's advice above.

Sunshine Thinking of you and fx for you. Absolutely agree with the advice above.

Freelance TMI to follow: Non fertile CF means hostile cervical fluid, meaning it is not the consistency of egg whites (clear and stretchy) around ovulation. You can sometimes help it by taking robuttusin - cough medicine which is supposed to make it more egg whitey or driink lots of grapefruit juice. Neither worked for me so I used Conceive Plus which is an artificial alternative you can buy over the counter. A bit like a sperm friendly KY jelly.

Now you have stopped gagging, please can I have your theory?

Thanks everyone, this website is just absolutely amazing! Freelancegirl I will have a look on the other thread.

My midwife said that the Early Pregnancy Unit would only see me if I was bleeding (I'm in Lincolnshire) and to call my doctor to get booked in if I experienced any. She is calling me back tomorrow lunch time to see how I am doing. In limbo, but I'll definately push for something before the weekend.

Reemnafie hope all goes well with your OH. What I have discovered during the last few weeks is once I tell my DP what I am feeling he really knows how to support me, I have been very suprised and thrilled!

sunshinehugsThanks and hope you feel better and everything goes ok.

I kinda knew it was a 'discharge thingy' having deduced that from other threads. But am glad I asked and now know!

My esteemed theory.... Actually I don't know :) I do know that gooey ovulating type thing. Hang on, I am going to consult Dr Google....

You have probably found it already but this is a good article about it. Recommends something called Pre Seed too.

www.babyhopes.com/articles/hostile-cervical-mucus.html

All educational stuff...

I am feeling a bit low today actually, hence obsessive internet activity. It's these damn antibodies, apparently they are really problematic and can give you a lot more chance of miscarrying. Bugger.

Hi girls,

Sorry not been around, see you've been busy!!

lucyhoneybee - thank you for your message, and congratulations .

free I have preseed, it's fab. Just live cy, but more ttc friendly.

sunshine don't despair just yet. No blood is good! Hope you're resting.

I'm fine physically now, just been discharged by the epu, but mentally it's still a struggle. I'd like to be with dh and dd all day every day tbh, everything else I have to force myself to do which isn't fun. My erpc was 11 weeks ago today, and mc two weeks tomorrow......amazing.

Harrassed Sending you big hugs. I feel the same, I am much happier hiding from the world too.

Free and Harassess I think I used PreSeed with DD. Yup, I agree, amazing stuff. The only thing is that I now have fertile CM? Huh?

Free Sorry to hear you are feeling low. Do you think it might be worth talking to your doctor about your antibody count?

Reem On the other thread the girls had a web link which you could show to your DP to help them understand what you are going through. I will see if I can find it.

The acupuncture was good, it made me bleed more for a day and then the bleeding stopped. It felt incredible when I was having it. My acupuncturist said I should wait at least a cycle as my blood isn't in good condition apparently and would struggle to sustain a pregnancy.

I have been taking the chinese herbs she gave me which are to strengthen the blood and aid circulation in the reproductive system and I think that they might have caused the changes in CM.

Not sure if that made any sense, but you are asking a total butter brain to relay the info.

Reemnafie Here is the website:

www.miscarriagesupport.org.nz/together.html