How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

Forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn here ladies, but as we're all in the same boat, please advise. Just as I thought the brown discharge was tapering off, an abundant heavy red period like bleeding has kicked off again with mild cramping. Is this normal? Do I just ride it out? I'm panicking that maybe there's retained products: if there are then do I wait a week on Tuesday until scan day to find out or do I enquire earlier? I'm just paranoid now that if this expulsion lingers it's gonna impact negatively on my fertility. And I know my hormones have turned me into a raving freak - so please accept my apologies, but thanks for hearing me out. Any advice would be great: how many days until a dryday?

Diamonds - Sorry this is happening to you. Did you have an ERPC or natural mc? I think bleeding following an ERPC can be a bit on and off for a while and that's pretty normal. All my natural mcs have tailed off and then stopped without starting again but that might just be me.

I had retained products confirmed by a scan about a month after the ERPC and as I'd already started bleeding again the doctor was happy to let it run its course and see if they came away on their own. It's much less risky to do this than to have another operation which can carry increased risks apparently. It shouldn't have an impact on your fertility. I was taken by surprise by just how heavy the bleeding was though and had to have some time off work - at one point I was thinking that I would need to go back in to hospital but it all calmed down. Also, it was a bit stop-start and I would have a couple of dry days before it started again. It lasted about a week.

I would say top up on pads and take it easy. If you're really worried though, why don't you give the hospital a call and see what they say? It might put your mind at rest.

Hope things get better soon.

Diamonds, sorry was out drowning my sorrows in wine, beer and gin...

How are you feeling this morning? My bleeding was definitely brown then red alternatively. I didn't have any (more cramping) after the whole contractions experience but maybe that was because 2 days of contractions did it's job and got most of it out? From what I have read (and from what Coconut says too) a few continuing cramps and the bleeding is normal. How are you feeling today? Maybe you could get some antibiotics like I have to ward off potential infection (although am not sure last night's wine, beer and gin is going to do them much good).

Also, I would think about getting some pg tests like I did and looking for a BFN. If you still have a faint BFP it might give you an indication of whether there are 'products relating to conception' in there. And a BFN might make you feel better like it did with me.

Post at any time for advice, symptom checking, support etc will be checking frequently throughout the day xx

Good advice on here, Diamonds - sorry you've had an extra worry to handle. I hope it's all sorted soon.

Hi Coconut....ah, big sympathy for your situation. It's the one I'm keeping my fingers firmly crossed about - managing one pg okay, then not managing another one (for a while). I can imagine continued mcs are taking their toll. Really sorry that you've had to go through it three times. Are you able to get it checked up in case it's either something fixable or to confirm that it was just bad luck? I don't blame you for being reluctant to put yourself through it again. I think I would be the same in your situation.

Thanks for reminding me, freelance, I must do another pg test. I've still got a very light bit of coloured discharge, but not even enough to require a ST.
Sounds like you had a fun night!

Thanks coconut and freelance. It is a natural miscarriage. As there's no pain, but am alternating between heavy brown and heavy bright red bleeding, spoke to the consultant at the hospital- he prescribed a couple of antibiotics yesterday- which I've started to take. Hopefully that will ensure infections steer clear! Apart from that, I think I'll let nature take it's course. How many days in did the HPT turn -ve, Freelance? I'll stock up on some later. Ditto the sanitary towels.
Hope you had a good time last night freelance :-).
Coconut: sorry to hear the rough time you've had. Have you had a scan to confirm that your uterus is all clean now, or are you booked in for one? Good to hear that Hcg is decreasing in blood now, so you can start again!
Take care girlies. Have a good weekend. Will dip in and out throughout the day in between cleaning the house. I've neglected it over the last week, and it shows. Dh out today with his mates watching the sport at the local! I think it's a well earned and deserved break after what he's been through over the past few days. I need some time to myself too: tidying the place up, waxing my legs, getting my hair done, just a day of general pampering booked in at the salon today. Need to feel "normal" now. :-)

Hi Diamonds, I had an ERPC for a MMC - did you MC naturally?

Anyway I bled for about 5-6 days after (going from red blood to brown) then it stopped and I thought great that's over now time to 'try' to move forward - then 2 days later I went to the loo and there was lots of red blood! Then the cramps returned (quite badly). This worried me a little so I went to the doc and had a full internal (never been offered a follow up scan) and he said it was all fine and you can bleed on and off for a while.

I know you may have MC'd naturally but surely the process of our bodies recovering after an MC must be similar. However if the bleeding gets heavier (or continues heavy) and the cramps continue or get worse prob worth having it checked out - if only for your piece of mind. I found the physical symptoms the hardest as just when you think your getting your emotions in check you pop to the loo - and there's your reminder!!

Hope your feeling better today x

Whoops - crossover of posts!

Oooh a day of pampering sounds like a great idea Diamonds! Well done you, yes you do deserve it. Glad you got the antibiotics too, just as a preventative measure.

Hope everything is okay with you now coconut.

In terms of my negative test etc:

If starting spotting was Day 1
Passing sac was Day 6
Scan revealing 2cm of leftover 'product' was Day 12
BFN was Day 14 (that was yesterday. Only seem to have a tiny bit of blood now - same as you Inmaculada not enough to warrant ST)
Going back on the 12th for scan.

My main gripe today is I just weighed myself and am 9 st, 9lbs!! Very annoying. I mean, I have been heavier (I once went up to over 11.7 stone when was ill!) but the last few years have been a nice 9 stone and very happy with that (am 5.5 so that makes me a happy size 8-10, but now a less comfortable 10). Damn pregnancy that never was! I have 9lbs to lose . If I could just stop 'cheering myself up' with cakes and biscuits....

But yes Inmaculada I had a good night, it was nice to be out in a pub, watching a band and having a few drinks. Felt like 'me' again.

Freelancegirl I was 9st 8lb on Monday (I'm 5.5 too) because of the pg and stuffing my face. I usually sit at 9lb (although feel more comfortable a little under that). So far this week I've managed to cut it down a bit - but only because I was ready. I found out about MMC over a month ago so it took me that long to get in the right frame of mind. Before that I was eating bread, cake, crisps etc etc.
Just from these last few days of eating healthier I feel (a bit) better. So don't beat yourself up about it. Go with it and one day soon you'll be ready to tackle those 'few' extra pounds - cause that's all they are and no-one but yourself notices them - I promise!! I you feel like eating cake eat cake - we deserve some treats!! x

Hi,
I am feeling good and ttc again.

Takes a long time but i actually get there in the end.

its most difficult when folk who were pregnant at the same time as me chatting away about what their little ones are doing now.

For me a + test result now means absolutely nothing to me, it just makes me think, "oh well, here we go again".
For that i feel robbed of the privelidge of that first excitement that most normal women get.
I struggle to get over the unfairness of it too.

Hi can I join please?

I was having faint lines from last Tuesday, spent the weekend away at a christening, was feeling pretty excited only for me to continue getting either negative or very faint lines, till Tue I started cramping and bleeding heavily. Saw GP for blood test, had another yesterday and got to go back on Tuesday. Did a test this morning and it is most definately negative. Feel shit. OH was nice for a few days but now is doing his 'getting on with it thing'. I keep getting mad and upset and I'm tired :(

Sorry for the me me me, just wanted to get it all down, will read through properly tomorrow. :)

Oh and would somebody mind explaining the ERPC and the MMC terms please as I'm lost. Can just about work out the BFN and BFP.

Crazybit: sorry for what you are going through. Please feel free to express your feelings here. That is exactly why we are here. We are going through the same thing. We have our good days and our not so good days. Together we can try to help pull everyone out the other side. I am just going through the tail end of a miscarriage at the moment. Today being mothers day is not helping. We had so many hopes and aspirations for our little one. It's hard to let go so quickly. Praying desperately we get the chance to hold our own baby in the near future. Life is so unfair and uncertain sometimes. Please do not be shy to come here for some hand holding and advice.
ERPC= evacuation of retained products of conception (the medical procedure to managing a miscarriage);
MMC= missed miscarriage: where the mother has no idea that the pregnancy is not viable, until it's shown up on the scan(i.e. No bleeding or outward symptoms of miscarriage).
Hope that helps.
The ladies here have helped me come to terms with our pain and loss - keep talking. I'm sure it's got to be better than bottling it all up. As a society, we are conditioned not to talk openly of such matters, which doesn't help with our recovery. But just as long as there are forums like this one where we can direct our frustrations and anger, I reckon we'll be ok. Speak to you again soon x

Hi cherry....sounds like you've had multiple mcs? Ah....rough. Good luck with ttc, maybe this one will stick?
A friend of mine - in her late 30s - miscarried numerous times. At least six, maybe more. She finally carried a healthy baby to term and the thing she changed was her diet, interestingly. She went 100% organic. Who knows if that was a factor? But anyway, she got there in the end. Don't give up

Hi crazy. Big sympathy. It's not always easy to just "get on with it", is it? Everyone needs some time to grieve. No need to be brave on here, as Diamonds says.

And - as I said upthread - I agree with Diamonds. Talking it out really helps. If you can't do it in RL, here is the place. We're all listening.

to everyone, today especially. I know it underlines the pain to be reminded of motherhood all over the place. Love to all.

How's the bleeding today Diamonds?

Cherry - I feel exactly the same as you about a positive test. There's no joy there at all, just a sigh and a feeling of here we go again. It's horrible isn't it.

Welcome Crazybit. Sorry you're having a tough time. It's difficult when, as a couple, the two of you are in such different places isn't it.

Thank you ladies :)
It is good to be able to put things down on here.

Diamond-how is your bleeding today? I'm getting lighter I think, still bright red and clots when I go to the loo though (sorry if TMI)

I can't imagine how it must feel when you're going through this time and time again. It's the worst feeling, as though your body is betraying you.

I certainly feel as though I'm being punished...I had a termination 18 months ago for several reasons, however it did not work properly and around 11 weeks after having it, I passed a large 'something' and so had to go for a scan. I still had a retained product but it was very small and the lady said it should come out naturally with AF. I had no follow up and now I wonder if that is something to do with what's happened now. My doctor said last week that he wont send for a scan if your under 6 weeks, which I will be so how will they know if their is anything left this time?

Freelance-I understand what you mean about feeling kind of relieved...I was taking folic acid but stupidly had also been taking vitamin tablets that contained vitamin A, I didn't even read the bottle till the day I had the first BFP and was gutted, also had just started smoking again in the past few weeks as very stressed with things at the moment.

Do you all think about the reasons it has happened?? I think if I wasn't so stressed, had taken vitamin A, had that glass of wine...it may not have happened. Daft to think of the 'maybe's I know, but probably human nature. Also DD2 gave me a good kick to my stomach on Sunday, it was so hard I felt dizzy and my stomach seemed to be contracting. I don't blame DD, she's only 3, but it makes you wonder.

I am trying to be grateful for what I have, 2 DDs already, it still hurts though. This would have been OHs first, but he treats my DDs as his own anyway.

What is everyone doing today? My mum had my DDs last night, so I have had a lie in :) and now need to try and crack on with my college work. I seem to be able to manage my emotions better early in the day than when it starts getting to bed time.

Sorry for the rambled post, no particular sense of direction, I just tend to write what comes into my head!

Big hugs to everyone today. Sorry not to namecheck- difficult as on iPhone. Bleeding continuing still: deep dark red. Impatient to draw a line under it now, but must persevere. In Manchester at parents' today. Somehow feel much better having confided in mum, about what we have been through.
Crazybit: please don't blame yourself. If any of the things you mentioned were a contributory factor in your loss; then who or what do I blame. I did everything according to the book. Was very worried from the off, as had no pregnancy symptoms. Came onto some forums here. Kind ladies here informed me that it was not doomed just because of no nausea or sore nips. They reassured me that no period was a symptom of pregnancy. Others reassured me that they had carried babies to term with no symptoms, so I should not worry. But my intuition, unfortunately proved correct. Who should I blame? It's just one of those things. I have read that the majority of first trimester pregnancies are not viable due to chromosomal abnormalities. Please do not blame yourself. It just was not meant to be. Hope that we all have super sticky beans next time, and this can be just a distant bad memory. Amen x

Morning everyone, or should I say afternoon? I have just got up! Drank a silly amount last night (starting in the afternoon!). Oops. I guess I need to let off some steam. Welcome crazy and creamcracker - I think I missed you out when post crossed yesterday. I am 9 stone 10lbs this morning!!! I really must get this in check asap. I need to get back down to at least 9.3 again if not 9 on the dot. It's so frustrating!!!

Talking of diet, interesting about your friend's organic diet Inmaculada.

Diamonds is right Crazy, there's nothing you did wrong. There's nothing any of us did wrong. I think you would really have to go some way to damage that rather cushioned tiny thing in the early stages. I know what you mean though, things like that go through my head too! It's amazing me how common seems to be.

Funny as before when someone told me they had a miscarriage I would always think 'ah that's sad' or that's a shame and then move on. I had no idea how all-encompassing it would be.

Glad you getting some parental tlc Diamonds, I had that last week and it was just what I needed. Sorry to hear you are still bleeding, bloody frustrating!! It really should come to an end too though.

I really think my bleeding has stopped now. Hope that damned last bit came out!

Oh and Cherry I can totally understand what you mean when you say a + test result now means absolutely nothing to me, it just makes me think, "oh well, here we go again". I can imagine I will feel that way too.

Another part of me is really frustrated that if I tcc again, and get lucky and get pg, as well as all the worry about it happening again there's also the tiredness, not wanting to go out, not being able to tell friends, eating like a pig thing to go through again!

It's funny (I will shut up in a minute...) but when I was pg I was always really worried about how it would affect my life afterwards, how it would affect my body etc and even posted on some 'worried I am not maternal' type posts and created ones that said 'shit scared about my bits stretching, my body looking knackered etc etc afterwards. And now none of that is my main concern.

Hi Freelance girl Can I join you? I'm on the TTC after miscarriage thread too. Agree that it is really helpful thread.

Am so sorry to hear all the stories so far, and sorry that everyone is finding it hard. I had a miscarriage 3 weeks ago. I had a suspected (repeat) ectopic pregnancy and had surgery to remove the pregnancy from my tubes. It turned out that it was actually in the right place but wasn't growing properly and was sent home to miscarry naturally. Still in shock as it wasn't at all what they told me to expect (a heavy period), it was pretty gruesome and I only stopped bleeding at the end of last week.

Am up and down all the time and veer from wanting to try again to wanting to give up. I am fortunate to have 2 DC but would love another but am wondering if it is worth the emotional hassle of trying again. Had an awful day yesterday, felt totally out of it and ended up drinking in the afternoon whilst making Mother's day lunch and ending up v drunk.

Am worried too about my current lifestyle. Since the MC I have been drinking lots and smoking again. I am missing meals and then comfort eating. Like Freelance I am usually at the gym and trying to eat healthily. Just don't seem capable of it. I weighed myself the other day and have gained 8lbs - am so frustrated! Feel too battered to go to the gym.

Crazybit I don't think you did anything wrong and although it's natural to think that way, you should try not to. I think at this stage it is a chromasomal thing and there's nothing you can do.

Hey really, nice to see you on here too, it's a nice place where we can all chat and moan about are lows (and highs! although we're not moaning about them) and you will see that most of us here are all in the same boat, having had mcs very recently.

Sorry to hear you are miserable, sounds like it must have been a shocking experience, particularly as at first they got it wrong. Yes it has been pretty gruesome for many of us too - lots of bleeding, lots of pain and lots of passing of weird 'product' in toilets, showers etc. Mine was a natural one as well so I can relate.

Welcome to the +8lbs gang! Although I weighed myself on Friday - 9.8, on Saturday was 9.9 and on Sunday was 9.10! Bugger!! Like you I am tending to drown my sorrows quite regularly and have fallen off the healthy eating wagon. I am tempted by a cheeky smoke or two too but haven't yet had the opportunity.

I can't help you with whether to try again or not BUT I can say that I am giving myself the go ahead to have a few weeks of drinking etc before I get back on the case. I am waiting for my first AF and after that will think about ttc again.

It's good though to just give yourself a break and be like a 'normal' person again. And I know to me a normal lifestyle is indulging in a few drinks when I need to blow off steam.

In terms of diet - today I am trying to get back to low carbing. And will hopefully be hitting the gym about 4 times this week. I feel if I do that I can still go out and drink a few times (and have the odd smoke it the situation arises) before I get an AF and then start cutting back (a bit...) on that sort of thing. So give yourself a rest and realise you have to be nice to yourself. If like me you like to keep in shape as it feels better to be slimmer, try eating healthily again but don't worry too much about the drink etc for the next few weeks as chances are you will get it out of your system. And doesn't it feel marvellous to be able to have a nice glass of wine or three :)

Obviously I am not a doctor...and you don't want to go TOO mad but you know what I mean.

Freelance

Am so surprised that I wasn't warned about 'weird products'! Surely that should be the first thing you would warn someone about? There is a big difference between that and a heavy period!

Good luck with the low carb diet. I think I might try a similar approach next week (give myself another week to weep into my wine and extra big dinner).

Hi there! Sorry not to namecheck: on the damn phone again. Bleeding a lot less now, just on wiping. However, feeling extremely weak and dizzy. Spoke to my gp on the phone this morning. He asked if I had a metallic taste in mouth. To which the answer was yes- he said the dizzy spells and weird taste were due to the antibiotics. Advised to try and eat some probiotic yoghurts, but apart from that not to drive or operate heavy machinery, or drink. Was this anything you ladies have any experience of? How much longer before bleeding ends? It's doing my head in! Just been lounging around the house today. Feel lousy. Sorry:-(

Diamonds So sorry to hear you are going through this. I had 3 weeks of bleeding. It was light and then got heavier, than I passed the pregnancy and it got lighter again. 3 days later it got much heavier again, for about a week. I seemed to pass something else and then it tapered off to nothing again. Bear with it, it is incredibly frustrating and seems endless but it will stop eventually. And I also felt tired and lousy too - I didn't leave the house if I could possibly help it. I got anaemic with mine - weak and dizzy so am taking a liquid iron supplement I bought in the health food shop. Sorry, I didn't take antibiotics so don't know anything about that.

Reallyuseful: thanks for sharing your experience. I'm anaemic too. Doctor prescribed ferrous sulphate tablets 200mg ones- as a direct result : massively constipated. Much better after eating the fruit in syrup though:-). Three weeks is a Long time. Sorry for what you have been through. Isn't it a lonely experience, though? So so grateful for mumsnet, and you gorgeous people.
Reallyuseful: when did your period arrive after the miscarriage?

Hi Diamonds. I was definitely weak and dizzy too, still am a bit too. I forget how many days I am ahead of you in this miserable journey but I think it is about 6 or 7 and we seem to be following similar patterns. My bleeding seemed to stop on Day 14 of the mc experience. Have you braved the pg test yet diamonds? I forget.

I am definitely weaker than normal and also quite tired at times - not always but it hits me at strange times like more tired upon waking than usual. Or occasionally I will walk upstairs and feel knackered. I considered iron levels too Really but as I am still taking pre-pg supplements I thought I had that covered. Maybe the antibiotics are adding to it too, I finished the course today. They often make me feel bloated and affect digestion. Pro-bio yoghurt etc is good with that. I am bloated and (I WILL moan about this again...) feeling rather chubby . My tummy looks bloated like it did sometimes when pg.