How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

Sorry to hear you're low freelance. Tomorrow is another day further away from this and closer to success . Big hug.

Cant believe this but nearly a week since major bleed and cramps and almost two weeks since this all started and...TMI...something just slipped out and plopped into the toilet just now. When will this end?? Due for a scan tomorrow so I suppose we'll have more idea then. (Cue more sitting around with cooing, expectant mothers.)

Is PreSeed the same as ConceivePlus, Really?

Magic I had the same, I had the main miscarriage and then something else passed a week later. So frustrating and it feels endless. Am thinking of you. If it is any help I bled really heavily for the last few days and then it dwindled to nothing quite quickly. FX so that you can get over that hurdle quickly and start to physically, at least, move on.

They are the same but I think PreSeed is better (Harassed says it is more TTC friendly)

My night out has been cancelled . Never mind, lots of white wine in the fridge

Hello harassed, nice to have you back! I get so attached to you all that I miss people when they are not around (note to self: must get A Life...)

Sorry you are feeling a bit poo. I feel the same ? anything that involves concentration is a real effort. Am glad I don?t have a day job to go to but getting work done at home is proving VERY difficult. I had a little wobble earlier emotionally as I am now really worried about this antibody situation and terrified this will keep happening. Went off to the bedroom for a quick lie down and cry. God, this whole thing is totally weird!!

Maybe like you and Really I will try pre-seed. Actually I haven?t really noticed my mucus (great word isn't it...?) changes but from now on will be keeping a close eye on my pants! I AM aware of stickier stuff around ovulating time and have weirdly been getting that today. That said, it only took me three months to get pg first time so hopefully IF I try again it will be okay too.

Sunshine, no blood is indeed good. Mild cramps sound kind of normal so hopefully it will work out well for you.

Really, we are the butter-brained advising the butter-brained on this thread ☺ But we seem to be getting by. With the help of Dr Wine. I am trying to keep away from him from now until the weekend after last night and the weekend just gone but, um, watch this space as I am sure things might change.

Magic ? can?t believe you have just passed something weird again!! I guess anything coming out is better than being in. We will all feel for you sitting around waiting for that scan tomorrow. Let us know how it goes. My next one is next Tues and last time I had a bit still to go, but hope that as the blood has gone now it has all been expelled.

Not sure why my smiley face :) came out as &#9786

I liked the &#9786. It was like a secret code for us ladies

Freelance I think we're going to get alot of this emotional shit as our bodies adjust themselves to being, well, working at optimum strength again. So better we all cry and feel blue and help it all along. My acupuncturist said the uterus is the '2nd heart'. So basically we are all (2nd) heartbroken. Am so sorry you are trying to juggle a busy day with the emotional strain, it must be hard.

Magic Will be good for you to get your scan tomorrow and be able to move on from this current orb of shit. We will all be here fx for you. Sorry to hear you will be in with the lucky lot. Keep thinking that this is temporary and you will be in their gang next time

Cannot hope to catchup or namecheck on phone. Welcome to all the new ladies here, praying and hoping that we're not in this grim place for long. Loving the hugs, feeling the love. Nice to know that we are all sharing and offloading. The sharing bit helps all of us in that we know what to expect next- what's normal and what's not.
For what it's worth: I really appreciate your support. Don't want to attempt to individually address anyone just now, as I've read everyones posts, but the phone is hopeless. I sympathise with all the feelings, but am hopeful that we will all have happy outcomes. The good vibes here are unbelievably strong. It really makes my day to come here and feel "normal" as I can be honest about the situation I am experiencing. Seriously unfortunate that we all had to be introduced to each other under these circumstances, but I am very confident that together we'll achieve our dreams of holding our babies much quicker. :-) x sorry for the cheesiness! Just read it back...wasn't going to post it, but realised Ive written how I honestly feel xxx

lovely words Diamonds, it is a comfort isn't it? xxx

Hiya bigfliflop: how are you today? Still dreaming about the morphine?! Have you had a drink yet? I find it does help, either I feel happy, so it relaxes me; or lowers my inhibitions, so that I can grieve without feeling like an idiot! Either way it allows me to be myself! Lots of hugs and love to you... You've really been through the mill. Will you be offered further investigations? I don't suppose you'd want to try again without those, would you? It is so hard. I really hope you get your much desired baby soon FX x

Blimey, this thread moves fast!

Welcome, newcomers!

FX sunshine - you may be all right, there's still hope.

lucy, that is indeed a heartening story. Thanks for sharing it.

reem, sorry you're feeling a bit out in the cold with your OH. Men often need it spelled out to them in terms of what you're feeling and the type of support you need. Some men take mcs really hard, others aren't so bothered, it varies. But whatever he feels, he needs to be there for YOU.

Ah, freelance, I'm not surprised you're feeling a bit blue wrt the thyroid business. I bet there are ways of optimising your chances to successfully carry a pregnancy. A poster on my PN thread had multiple mcs because of health problems (different from yours) but she kept on trying with different meds and supplements etc. and eventually carried had two DDs, one after the other. She said the recipe was so refined that DD2 was first-time-lucky.

Sorry not to speak to everyone individually - my thoughts are with you all

Well, I went to the farmacia today and bought a pg test and some acido folico. The pg test came up BFN, no surprise there. But I'm pleased in an odd sort of way because it draws a line under the mc (no pun intended!). I've stopped bleeding in the last couple of days - just under three weeks since the ERPC - and popped a folic acid tab this evening. Time to try again, methinks. I had all my blood tests etc. not long before the mmc and they all came back A1 OK, so assuming I haven't had a startling health downturn since then, I reckon it should be fine to go for it. DH will be pleased, the enforced lack of sexual activity has turned him into a lecherous beast, I think he's regressed into teenagehood

I'm a bit nervous, though. Not about DH, about ttc. I guess that's natural.

Diamond You are a diamond. I loved your loving, honest posting.

Bigflip Lovely to see you here today xx

Immaculada Yes, the prospect of being rude again does seem daunting! Good luck with 'the beast'!

XXX to everyone else

Evening all!

I?m really trying to keep up with all the posts but can?t believe how much activity there is on here in one day!

Sunshine ? a friend of mine is 7 weeks pg and has been having bad pains ? like period pains ? she got referred to the EPAU yesterday and all was fine, everything as it should be, hb etc. So although I agree with the others in that you should get it checked out, even just for your piece of mind ? but just wanted to say it doesn?t necessarily mean the worse. They told my friend it was probably stretching pains and trapped wind.

Reemnafie ? Sorry to hear your OH isn?t reacting the way you would hope. Men can seem as if they don?t care sometimes ? but often it is their way of dealing with their emotions. They sometimes don?t like to bring it up for fear of upsetting us etc etc. A chat with him will hopefully make you feel better as it is support you need right now.

Hostile Cervical Mucus ? how do you know if you have this? Can you have tests ? or is it just by observing your discharge? Oh the things us women have to do!! Can you just take preseed anyway, just in case? Oh it?s a miracle a pg happens in the first place when you find out all the things that can prevent it!

Freelance ? sorry you are feeling all emotional. I was really bad about a week ago and I really think it was hormones going mad, the slightest thing would set me off. I think a good cry does us good. Please try not to worry about the future, are you having second thoughts about ttc? As I notice you are using the word ?if??

Sat in a meeting today with a colleague who is/would have been at the same stage of pg as me if I hadn?t had an mc ? quite hard when everyone is talking about it to her. Only one lady in the room knows about my situation and she was trying to talk to me about meaningless stuff to distract me ? I know she was trying to help but it actually made the whole thing worse.

Immaculada I agree it?s a bit daunting ttc again. Part of me wants to go for it (& I?ve taken a few risks already) but the other part of me isn?t ready for the worry a bfp would bring!

Hello to all those I haven?t mentioned ? hope you are all feeling ok ? or as ok as you can feel xx

And breath - Sorry for the long post but it's my days contribution in one hit!!

This thread has taken on a life of it?s own! Diamonds you are indeed a Diamond and I feel exactly the same. I don?t know what I would do without this support. Mind you, I am neglecting everything in favour of this at the moment. Really must try to concentrate on getting some work done. Hey, I figure we can stop being superwomen for a few weeks while we get our heads and bodies together.

I like the idea of the uterus as the second heart Really. I wonder what second heart the men folk have?!

A BFN is good Inmaculada, at least you know where you are at now. So are you ttc without waiting for first AF? I am so tempted but also so scared.

Cream (unfortunate moniker give the topic ) Re Hostile Cervical Mucus I too am now fascinated by this introduction to the conversation. How DO you know you have it? Shall we all just start dripping ourselves in Preseed (is it even a topical treatment or something you swallow..?) in the hope it will help anyway??

Yes I was saying IF for ttc but realistically I think I will do it. I have been reading that raised thyroid antibodies increase likelihood of mc by double (great!) but hopefully there are things that can help ? like taking selenium.

I also asked my doc over the phone this pm for a ref to Dr Shehata at Epsom who is meant to be very good with these things. Not sure how long appts take to come through though so I am still waiting for AF and then thinking of ttc anyway. Be brave freelance!

ALTHOUGH I am pretty sure am ovulating at the moment (thick mucus ? there?s that word again ? and ovary type pains) and I was just really tempted to ?go for it?. I resisted though just in case. I don?t want to give myself any more negative points for trying and I want to get the all clear from the scan next week first.

Am feeling much better now emotionally and had a very proactive day researching the issues in and out. I guess that?s why I was upset at first as I realised there are some tough odds. But at least with a referral hopefully being sent I feel like positive steps are being taken.

Physically I feel so bloody bloated. And damn hungry all the time. Am on my first day of low-carbing again and it?s bloody hard work. Gym tomorrow. Sigh.

Wow the thread does run very fast.
Will try to do personal sbut advance apologies if I miss anyone, also, please excuse my ignorance in some things. Hope it doesn't sound vulgar, but once you've experienced a MC it kind of opens another world that you wasn't aware of iyswim. When I was going through the time of the termination and the months that followed it, especially when i ended up going for a scan, I felt it was my own fault and I had no right to try and talk about it, grieve or find ways of making myself feel any better, but this time at least I'm 'allowed' to feel rubbish and sad and seek reassurance for how I feel. Does that make sense?

Anyway,
Freelance-Sorry you're having a crappy day. f I hope tomorrow brings sunshine ahd happy feelings. :)
Reallyuseful and harrassed-I too like to stay hidden, I feel like people know there is something not quite right and I just don't have the energy to speak to anyone, even pleasantries really.
Cream-:( for you having to sit through the meeting. Someone on my old antenatel thread has just posted she's going to be due the same week as I would have been. Happy for her but envious for myself.
Imaculada at the lecherous beast, OH gets like that every time I mention ttc
Diamonds-What a lovely post :)
Ho to everyone else, sorry but I'm going to have to go to bed. Had an evening of entertainmnet at mu eldests Rock Challenge-a peforming contest for schools and they won! Am so proud of her and them but so tired and hardwork small talking, and as soon as we got home OH has been called out to work so I haven't even seen him today properly.
Sweet dreams ladies :)

What I meant to say on the last post was to please excuse my ignorance on some issues as there are probably some things that I haven't come accross before, such as hostile mucus and so will need to learn what they mean.

Hostile Cervical Mucus It does sounds like something that would start a fight with you in the pub toilets.

I posted on the Charters boards, they are all lovely and said that quite a few of them have egg white cervical fluid but use Pre Seed anyway. So there we go.

Ladies, ended up unleashing lecherous beast in my house last night and am now worrying as we didn't use anything. Do you think there was any harm in it? Wasn't planning to try to conceive until after AF. And I haven't had the all clear scan yet either. Am assuming that with the m/c and the wine diet I have been on there is nothing there to fertilise anyway.

Cream You poor thing, sorry you had to listen and go through that, it sucks.

Freelance Re. men's 2nd hearts! I hope you get the referral to get the antibodies checked out.

Crazy It is a shame that you aren't allowed to feel any emotions after a termination, it is a hard, hard time for women. I hope with the m/c you can grieve/remember both situations.

Glad to hear you're feeling more hopeful, freelance. It's funny how a mc sends those doubts about being pg into abeyance and suddenly the thought of not being able to carry to term becomes the bigger worry than actually having a baby. I was lukewarm about the idea of having children until I imagined how I would feel if I suddenly found out I was having an early menopause. The answer was: devastated. And that's when I realised I did want the opportunity to become a mother.

I meant to say in my last post, Diamonds how lovely your words were.

Reallyuseful at unleashing the lecherous beast!
I wouldn't worry about your hanky panky. If you're not "all clear" you won't have ovulated so won't conceive anyway. And if you are all clear and are ovulating, there's no reason why a conception shouldn't work out just fine this time round, even without your AF in the middle. According to a very up-to-date (and pg-post-mmc) obstetrician friend of mine. Of course, how you would feel about that emotionally is another matter.

Hostile cervical mucus? Erk! Never heard of that before. I agree, Crazy, suddenly a whole new world of pg-related complications rears up in front of you when you find yourself in this situation.

Immaculada Thank you for the advice, I wish I had an obstetrician friend! Lucy got pregnant just after her m/c - amazing. I am not sure if the wine in my system is aiding in any fertility miracles at the moment though.

Magic Thinking of you and let us know how the scan goes.

It is my birthday today, I have told RL that I am postponing for now, I feel too flat to celebrate. But would love to celebrate with you ladies and the ladies on the other thread . We shall of course be having later!

BIG BIRTHDAY WISHES to Really! Even though you might not feel like celebrating it in RL you can celebrate here with us in our own little way by posting pictures of wine and cake and actually probably stuffing our faces with them whilst we do so. Actually I am having a second night off the wine as have to be compos mentis (sp?) VERY early in the morning for a job. But I think come Thursday my resolve will have broken.

Quelle age, may I ask??

It?s my third day of low-carbing and I would hope to start seeing a pound or two shifting by now. I don't have any scales here and it's difficult to tell though as I feel bloated like if I was due on. Maybe I AM due on? Who knows! My periods before tended to arrive towards the end of the month though, with the last one before pg on 26th Dec and the mc starting on 19th March. Hmmm.

Really, don?t worry so much about the, erm, slip up. I almost did the same last night too. I think if your body is ready for it it will be ok. I was so tempted to just say f*ck it, as it were, and you do hear many stories of women getting updiffed straight away and going on to have healthy babies. So try not to worry about it. If my AF doesn?t arrive around 4 weeks after the mc I think I will probably just go for it too. My first benchmark is the 12th April for the next scan.

It?s funny but I hate the thought that in RL people might ask me if am going to ?try again?. I feel like telling them no, I don?t think it?s worth it, just to shut them up. I don?t know why I am so bristley about it, but I really am. No-one has even asked me yet but I have conversations with my friends in my head when I tell them I physically bristle and tell them I don?t want to try again. But it?s not true as you (my REAL friends ) know.

Magic, can?t wait to hear how the scan goes.

Inmaculada, I so agree with you about the mc making the biggest worry become the thought of not carrying to term. And also activating the baby wanting hormones I didn?t have before. Same as you visualising early menopause and seeing how you feel.

Diamonds, Crazy, Cream, BigFlip, Sunshine, Reem and anyone else who drops in as well as new member Hostile Cervical Mucus ? hello one and all! (PS Am just showing off that I can name check everyone in my new system of writing this on a word doc first so I go back and refer more easily. But lets stop worrying about the name checking and realise that we are all welcome even though we might not get a personal mention on each post )

Hey everyone,

Scan went ok although DP and I had to clamber past everyone clutching their bumps to get seated in the waiting-room again. I got told off by DP for saying they all looked smug. Pure envy of course.

Theres about 2cm of 'debris' (her words) left inside but they expect them to disappear by themselves. I'm to go to doc with any unusual smells(lovely).

SO. Can I convince the other half to go for it again? Freelance you mentioned you had a desperate urge over the last couple of weeks, has that subsided a bit now? Just cant bear the thought of being on tenterhooks for 9 whole months. It was bad enough at 10 weeks but imagine if it happened much later??

Cream I had the same situation at work where a colleague's sister has just given birth. The only other lady who knows aout my situation was trying to distract me too- thought I was going to have to leave the room but held it together miraculously. I totally sympathise.

Magic I suppose at least you know now. Hopefully it'll happen quickly, FX.

You are a brave woman putting up with a roomful of smug bumps . Since we seem to have started by not using any form of contraception I am preparing myself for some day getting a BFP and then trying my best to relax after 1. Got past the m/c stage this time and 2. 12 week scan. I say that, I'll probably be a nervous wreck 12 weeks and beyond too.

Freelance I am 35 today. So impressed you are dieting, you good girl. And staying off the wine. I seem to be mimicing Elvis' food habits at the moment.

Peeped at Facebook and immediately saw someone's scan photos. Exited immediately

Good news you have the scan out of the way Magic although such a shame that you have to step over the bumps to get there. I had 2cm of 'stuff' left to come out too and hopefully it has come out on its own accord. Are they sending you back for another check up in a couple of weeks?

Do you think your OH needs convincing? Yes I did have a desperate urge for a couple of days but it seems to have worn off! The aim is to arm myself with enough info about thyroid antibodies as possible, take as many supplements as needed, try to get on a list for some treatment BUT in the meantime take a deep breath and ttc anyway as soon as get af. But yes, weirdly the urge wore off. Anyone else had that? My problem is I have enjoyed my life too much and still think I am too young for kids :) Of course I am really not and do have to get a move on if i want them, so move on I am going to have to get. Terrible English I realise.

And talking of age, hello Birthday Girl Really hope you are enjoying your day. It's gorgeous and sunny here in London so I hope it is for you too. Glad you are 35 and not say, 22 so we can relate to each other about the 90s or whatever...I am 36. I think it's fine to just 'go for it' and aim for that BFP. Hope we are all talking about things like that in the not so far future.

I've got a lot of work done, been to the gym, bought an ice-cream for me and DH to have in the garden when he gets home. So today am feeling ok. Hope you all are too xx

Happy Birthday Really! Enjoy your drinks tonight! Trying not to get into my old habit of a glass a night and keep eating healthily here.

I like the idea of some stats but what to put? Am having trouble keeping track of everyone as I can only naughtily peep at this thread on my lunch-hour!

What do you think of?

magicofthinkingbig Age 38 MMC 17/3/11 TTC#2 cycle 1

Love the idea of some stats! Have eaten ice cream and going for a walk before I get back do some more work and look forward to The Only Way is Essex

I will add to it.

magicofthinkingbig Age 38 MMC 17/3/11 TTC#2 cycle 1
freelancegirl Age 36 MC 19/03/11 WTTC after AF - End April?

Hi there
I've been loitering on here every now and then but haven't posted as yet. I just read the comments by freelance about bristeling at the prospect of friends asking you about ttc. I really relate to that. After two m/c we're now ttc again but I hate it when people ask me if we are and I've really no idea how to respond, it makes me just feel like telling a fib and saying no. The bit I find worst is I'm competely paranoid that anytime I'm not drinking, everyone will think we're ttc and read into it that I'm pregnant. It really stresses me out as I'm always trying to avoid meeting people at times/places when booze might be involved and sometimes I feel like deliberately drinking to proove I'm not pregnant to people!

The fact is that having a m/c 'outs' you in RL in terms of your plans for a family. I think most people would rather keep their plans between them and their DP and then do a 'ta-dah' I'm pregnant announcement and it will all be happy and clappy and all the rest that's supposed to happen, but sadly doesn't once you've miscarried!

Anyway, what a load of waffle from me. It's been a confusing day as I'm in the 2ww and after being completely convinced that I'm pregnant for the past few days, today I'm not feeling very confident.

Oh and about facebook, I've completely banned myself from it. I'm not a big fan at the best of times but I seemed to be obsessively 'hurting' myself by always looking at the smugger 'friends' who are posting every little thing about their pregnancy or baby.

Excellent idea:

magicofthinkingbig Age 38 MMC 17/3/11 TTC#2 cycle 1
freelancegirl Age 36 MC 19/03/11 WTTC after AF - End April?
ReallyUseful engine Age 35 MC March WTTC after AF

We'll draw the line under last night's shenanigans!

Freelance Am in London too and yes, it is a lovely, lovely day. One of my friend's is 27 and I spend the whole time saying' I was at school when you were born' etc. She thinks I'm pretty tedious, I imagine.

Off to do puzzles with DS xxxx