How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

Oh just another thing from me - just felt brave enough to do the test and got a BFN!!! It was a bit emotional as that confirms it, definitely the end of the pregnancy. But it's a good sign I guess.

Hi, Brilliant thread freelancer.

I had a mc in January at 15+ weeks, it was my third in 10 months so hit me very hard. They don't get any easier do they! I have had some very dark days before now when I haven't wanted to get out of bed at all, some days I have actually stayed in bed all day. Its horrible when you go to sleep and wake up the next day, you forget and then remember again, its so painful. Then you have all the physical stuff to get through, I spotted throughout my first two cycles which drove me insane and made me feel so hopeless. I have put 7lbs on since my first mc. If I work it out I've been pregnant for about 9 months in total over the past year. You don't mind all the yucky parts of been pregnant when there's a chance of a baby do you but when all your hope is gone you end up with all the side effects which like you say isn't a priority but when you're trying to get back to RL its v.hard. I've never had so many spots in my life as I have at the moment big red ones all over my neck, topped with the extra bit of weight around my tummy makes me feel like the most unattractive wife in the world! Anyway, I think this thread is v.good for everyone who is just going through a mc or coming to turns and ttc again. We are in fact TTC again, its hard to think about anything else.

Know how you feel about the BFN it does show its all over now but you can start getting on with the future. Its v.good but unfortunately also v.sad.

sorry I meant freelancegirl

Ah, bad luck freelancegirl - you were on the Oct bus, weren't you? I lurked there for a while because I was also pg with an Oct EDD, but had a mmc at just over 8 weeks.

I'm sorry for your loss. It's so upsetting, isn't it?

I'm now two weeks on from the ERPC and actually feel okay about it all again. I'm very keen to start TTC once more and have been advised by an obstetrician friend not to wait, but to get on with it as soon as I feel ready. Which I already do, TBH. One (other) thing that I feel sad about is how the blithe confidence I had during my last two pregnancies is probably gone forever now. That's assuming I conceive again okay....

I blogged about my experience and that helped me process it. It was partially an exercise in catharsis and partially so other English-speakers in Spain (where I live at the moment) could find an account of how the situation is dealt with in Spanish hospitals, in case they have a similar misfortune.

Yes to the extra weight. It's depressing when there's nothing to show for it, huh? At the moment I'm not beating myself up about it too much and allowing some comfort eating of chocolate - after all, a little bit of self-pampering after a bereavement seems reasonable. DD will be walking soon and I expect I'll be too busy chasing her from pillar to post to sit around scoffing chocolate. It's handy extra exercise, too...

Here's to positivity

lucky
Good luck with ttc and I hope the fourth attempt is successful.

Yes, freelancegirl, the BFN is a definite turning point, I would say.

Fingers crossed for the next conception for all of us...

Hi lucky! Thanks for the response. Gosh it sounds like you have been through the mill. Having been pregnant for about 9 months in total over the past year is going to really screw up your hormones and yes it is so hard going through all the yucky stuff when you don't have anything to show for it. Shallow as it is, aside from all the emotional and physical turmoil, I can't help thinking there will be people who didn't know I was pregnant who just think I am looking crap.

On the plus side, maybe we aren't looking crap to other people. Half a stone isn't a huge amount of weight to notice (except for ourselves!) and I bet they don't notice all the spots etc.

What IS that weight though? It's really annoying. And when pg I had started to eat things that I wouldn't generally touch - lots of white bread for toast, lots of cereal... It's proving really hard to give that up and get back to a healthy diet!

Well done for TTC again. Are you having any tests?

Sorry Inmaculada we crossed posts.

Yes, hello again, I remember your Spanish name. Sorry to hear about your loss too, It's so odd how common it is isn't it.

I just read your blog, thanks for that It was really good. And interesting to know how it works in Spain. I didn't have any intervention, they just sent me home to miscarry naturally. I guess as it was already on it's way out, so they said. I had awful contractions for a few days before hand. Every three minutes!

Are you going to start ttc before you get your first af?

freelance, unless there's a specific reason, personally I would say don't hide the fact you had a mc (unless you would really rather not discuss it - which is understandable). I found that writing the blog - which subsequently appeared on my FB page, meant that aside from lots of lovely messages of sympathy from various people, loads of my female friends came out of the woodwork to say they had had similar experience/s. It was really helpful in many ways and probably partly why I feel ready to move on already.

X-posted above...

In answer to your question, freelance - yes, definitely! As soon as the bleeding stops (which it virtually has now). I'm in my 40s, so need to crack on if I'm going to produce DC2. My obstetrician friend said there was no medical benefit in waiting, especially given my age. She acted on her own advice as miscarried at the same gestation as me (but a few months earlier) and got pg two months later with no AF in between.

Contractions..ugh, poor you.

I get the impression that in Spain they don't give you the option of natural/medically managed mc in this situation, but go straight for the surgical procedure. Similar to their inclination to perform a C section the minute there's the slightest complication with delivery. But they do have one of the lowest infant mortality rates in the world....

Hi there

Been lurking on this site too after a MMC 2 weeks ago at 7 weeks. Had an empty yolk sac on scan but nothing else (image still haunts me) and passed it naturally. Its funny how this has completely consumed me - all I can think about is babies and pregnancy and how I should have been 10wks+ yesterday. My first preg and first MC, so know the odds are in my favour for success next time. My DH is being very supportive but he just doesn't get it - it is not his body and he just wants us to try again - which I do too. I've been advised to wait one AF (I conceived straight after stopping the pill after many years so have no idea what my normal cycle is) at Queen Charlottes - so am interested to hear people are being advised to try straight away? Anyways - my thoughts are with anyone who has suffered this and fingers crossed for next time...

Hi all. Very sorry to hear everything you have a gone through. Am just at the tail end of miscarriage of 8.5 weeks. Not good. Lets all support each other. Hopefully we'll be sharing happier times in the future. Raise a glass (or a coffee mug!)

Hi Diamonds! Thought this was a place where we can move on from your initial post and share post-mc symptoms feelings etc. We just need Magic on board now too :)

Welcome Mango sorry to hear you have been through the same. Yes it's amazing isn't it how the hormones kick in and make you really want to try again after. I have heard that it is perfectly fine to start trying again once you have had a negative pg test (I was terrified of testing but this morning got a BFN! 9 days after I passed the sac in 'naturally'). My my Dr Google research some people advise to wait until after first AF to make sure your body is back to normal and also so it's easier to date but, all going well, there's no reason they can't date you from a first scan so that's not such a big deal in my opinion.

I think I myself am going to wait a few weeks just to get my body a bit back to normal. I don't know how you feel Inmaculada but I am still a bit tired and weary every now and then. I really want to be back to my pre-pg strong self. Emotionally I feel much better and ready to go again, but also a sneaky part of me is enjoying things I had had to stop when pg. But I will ttc as soon as I get my period, which will hopefully materialise soon. I am 36 (and a half :) ) so I guess time isn't on my side either.

I have had some experience of Spanish healthcare through other people and I am aware it is brilliant.

Hi guys!

Great idea about a new thread! Another way to draw the line under a nasty episode freelance.

Feeling really flat today. Its the first day I've spent virtually on my own and all those 'should've's 'could've's are crowding in.

On the other hand am really enjoying these posts from all of you who've quickly and successfully gone on to conceive! You give us all hope, thank you!

Hi Magic Flat feelings seem to be quite prevalent all round. I guess flat is better than sobbing every time we go to the loo/watch an ad for formula milk/remember what we're going through but it is miserable all the same. I spend most days on my own at home working and it's important to get out and distract yourself.

I too am really enjoying the Conceiving threads. Really, I can't believe there are so many people in the same situation! Its madness.

Diamonds sorry to see from the other thread that you are feeling a bit crap today too.

I woke up feeling like I could have another 5 hours sleep! But the BFN has helped me (after an initial emotional wobble) feel like things really are now moving on.

Ok girlies...(takes a deep breath)- bring it on! I think I might dip my toe in the "conceiving threads" water! Where are they? Please put a link on. See you there. Let's get optimistic now... Please let us share some happiness together. Fx

AM on there already! Hang on will just get link for you.

I have been added by the girls already on there to the WTTC (waiting to ttc) list, not yet the TTC. They are all very nice but it is busier than this thread so posts sometimes get overlooked by accident. I felt a bit shy at first :)

Link: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1179747-Just-MC-and-ready-to-try-again-Pack-your-cake-wine-and-tightie-whities-and-join-us-for-more-ranting-weeping-and-most-of-all-laughing-All-welcome-Part-15

Hi Diamonds,
magic and
mango - sorry you're going through this too. Masses of sympathy to you all.

Ha, yes freelance, I'm enjoying eating brie, having a drink or two and consuming licorice concentrate with fizzy water....!

But I think mcs affect everyone differently. Some people are totally devastated and it takes ages for them to be ready for another go, others get through it relatively easily (and I suspect how harrowing the experience was, how long it had taken to conceive in the first place, how far through the pg etc are also factors).
My obstetrician friend was very matter of fact about her mmc (she said she'd seen so many Trim1 mcs in the line of her work she was very inured to the risk in her own case...) and because I have every reason to be optimistic about a future pg at this stage, plus generally inclined to think positive anyway, I feel okay about it now. But I don't know whether I could keep up the philosophical, fatalistic approach if I have another one or more. I'm just hoping I don't.

I think in Spain the care varies depending on where you are - but in general it's very good. Don't expect a bedside manner, though!

Thanks for the sympathy Immaculada! Sorry to hear of your loss too. Loving your optimism, long may it continue. Whats with the liquorice fizzy water? Am I missing something? :-)

Heh, it's a French cordial called Antesite and is yummy if you like licorice. But licorice is a no-no if you're pg - something I only found out when I had stocked up with the stuff thinking, "great, a fab non-alcoholic drink I can enjoy...."
Nope.

Hello freelancegirl and everyone else!
I've been following all these threads but not contributing much as I usually read them on my phone but posting through my phone is a bit frustrating.

freelancegirl I see a lot of similarities to myself in you e.g. wasn't desperate for a baby until I fell pg then mc'd. Then it was all I could think about!!!

I'd always been led to believe that I would struggle to conceive so I just let nature take it course and a year after 'leaving it to fate' I got a 'surprise' BFP at 8 weeks!! Oh and boy did I panic - after the indulgent Christmas I'd had!! So although I was devasted about the MMC (found out a month ago) in some ways it has lifted the worry off me about what I'd eaten and drunk and the fact that I hadn't taken folic acid, had had some x-rays etc.. Although I obviously never wanted to mc and I'd rationalised with all that I now don't have that worry hanging over me as the worse has happend - and now I can ensure I'm doing everthing I should (taking my vits) and nothing I shouldn't (having x-rays)

So if I do fall pg again hopefully I can enjoy it more knowing I am giving the baby the best possible start! Although I will obviously have the mc in the back of my mind!

I was going to wait for one af before ttc, however now my pains & bleeding from the ERPC have gone (& I've had a bfn) I'm just going to 'leave it to fate'. I've already taken a few risks - so no point going back now. They just suggest it for dating purposes - but surely a scan can do that!

As for feelings - yes I have my low moments (especially when a friend announced her pg the other day), however I went away last weekend and ate food I couldn't eat whilst pg and drank cocktails, beer and gin!! Need to keep a check on that now though - just in case!

As for the weight - weighed myself Monday and I'd put on about 8lb, however I've been good so far this week and today I'd lost 4lb already. The quicker it goes on the quicker it falls off!

Here's hoping we all turn a 'good' corner very soon xx

I may brave the ttc threads soon!

This is why I don't post using my phone - I can talk for england

Hi girls,

I'm still quite down, and really wondering what the hell my body is doing..... my boobs are sore and swollen!!! Will an opk later and see what it says, or wait til the morning. surely can't be ov'ing already?!

Have had a bit of an argument with one of my sil's. Well dh's step brothers gf. She put her fb status as "I'm prg" and it quickly became apparent it was a big job after my mil commented. So I said that I thought it was insensitive.......... but apparently I cant have laugh , no prob not at the moment!!

harrassed - my boobs were sore a few days back and I felt I had ov pains. It would have been 2 weeks since my ERPC - surely that's too soon?? Did you mc naturally or medically/surgically? If so how long ago was it?

That's very insensitive of your sil. For people that have never experienced this they just don't get it and they don't understand the range emotions you go through! :(

Hi harassed and cc...condolences to you both.

Hello, can I join? So sorry that everybody's going through this.

I had an ERPC at the end of Jan but, because of retained products, it's been dragging on for ages and I'm still getting a slight positive on a pregnancy test. Blood levels are finally dropping apparently but I'm desperate for it all to be completely over.

I'm with you on the tiredness Freelancegirl. I feel competely wiped out. Not sure if it is hormonal or just the emotion of it all. This was my third mc since last summer and i think it's taken it out of me.

I've put on weight too and feel really annoyed about it. I keep meaning to start eating healthily but I haven't got the energy!

Immaculada - I'm in my 40s too. Am trying to work out how many times I could go through this again before I decide to give up and accept that it's not going to happen. I have got one ds, so of course I can never be disappointed by that, but I know it'll be a hard decision.

Creamcracker - One thing I remember from an earlier mc is that ovulation was really uncomfortable on the following cycle and the pains went on for quite a while before I actually ovualated. I wonder if it's just your body cranking back into gear?

Harrassed - sorry to hear about your sil's insensitivity.