How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

I feel really really drained today. I had a scan at the EPU to confirm that 'Pud' had definitely gone and my uterus is 'empty'. I was relieved that aside from a little blood there is nothing left and I won't need 'intervention'. It was a very emotional morning and OH & I were very upset at the EPU. The staff were lovely though and very sympathetic and answered all my questions (including given my age, 39, they recommended TTC asap if i'm up to it). They said the pregnancy test doesn't need to be negative but the bleeding needs to have stopped (which i'm a bit confused about but never mind).

I then had an emotional chat with my GP who said give it 3 months then come back and see me and i'll get you referred as, working backwards, they are reluctant to do much once you hit 40.

Also bumped into my midwife in the car park who is so, so lovely and was so obviously upset for me. She said same as the hospital midwife and to TTC as soon as I feel up to it. She also said to be positive and don't let this hold me back. I was also recommended to have reflexology session to try and get back in a more calm state for TTC.

I also exchanged some lovely texts with a close friend who also had a miscarriage very very recently. We are actually going on holiday together next month so I expect there will be some tears shed over some nice wine.

I look like utter crap as i've spent most of this morning crying and have got that 'too many tears headache' (IYKWIM). So am off to watch some low maintenance DVDs (Mistresses!) and try to relax.

thatgirlsevil - I already not looking forward to Pud's due date. It's 23rd Dec and we were already excited about having a baby in the house for Christmas. DS's birthday is Christmas Day so it will be tinged with a little sadness this year but we will need to stay upbeat for him. I am glad to hear of your optimism x

I'd already written the number of weeks pregnancy i'd be in my filofax so have just spent this morning also tippexing those numbers out! :(

Hi Pie and thatgirl

Pie, sorry to hear you have had such an awful time of it. It is good that people are being supportive, especially the midwife and medical people. Sometimes they are a bit laissez faire as they seem to see this sort of thing all the time and that can be quite hurtful when you are going through this horrible process.

Awful as it is, it is good that everything has gone. Hopefully you won't have too much bleeding and weird body happenings afterwards. We have all had ups and downs here and it's surprising how long it takes your body to heal. I think three months is really the timescale you need to get back to normal. It's been 8 or 9 weeks since I first started mc ing and things are still not perfect. Getting there though! I put on weight which was annoying and drank a shed load but I am trying to address that now. Be nice to yourself for a few weeks and indulge in what makes you happy.

In terms of trying again I think most of us have found that we have be so focussed on trying again right after the mc and then it has either worn off a bit for a few of us or one (or possibly two!) have got straight back on the horse (so to speak...) and are now pregnant again. LIke your doc said, you might want to try straight away. Most of us here are 35 and upwards so you are not alone in the age thing and feeling that time isn't necessarily on your side.

You WILL start to feel better soon xx

Hi PIE-PAN& GIRL.& any others I've missed.

so sorry u have had to go through this but glad u found this thread. I've been on here before& found the most WONDERFUL support.

My due date would have been 1nov. I m/c at around 10 weeks. I'm back here as I've just started my first AF after m/c & d&c op & feeling vulnerable & in pain.

I am 40 & staff at hospital suggested not to wait too long to ttc again.

Also it seemed to help eating previously pre-pg food. IE. Lots of brie, camembert (etc), wine.

Sending lots of Pixie dust yr way x

Well I've bitten the bullet and started back in work today. Going ok so far, the 3 colleagues in my department know what's happened and everybody else thinks I've had a 'virus'. It's been a week so don't know how much they'll believe!

Had a bit of a rubbish night on Monday. DH and I were talking about things and the way he seems to be coping is to think of it as a foetus that wasn't properly formed, while I'm thinking of it as our baby. I understand that that's just his way of dealing, but I got really cross with him and accused him of "is this how you've been thinking of our baby the whole time?", then got more upset cos I'd upset him etc etc etc...

Yesterday was a bit of a weird day. I 'nearly' cried twice but other than that it was the first day I haven't so I guess that's progress. I didn't feel great for most of the day but it was weird - I think I'd got fed up of being at home so just wanted to get on with things. I also jumped right in at the deep end and had camembert and red wine for dinner. It was lovely but probably involved far more thought than a normal meal, had to psych myself up to take that first sip of wine.

I've also still been really tired so I'll report back as to whether I end up falling asleep at my desk this afternoon.

Hi All,

Hope you are all okay today. Must admit i'm feeling very very low. Possibly the lowest i've felt so far, as it's starting to hit home with a very empty bang. Work is quite stressful this week and inside i'm like "who gives a flying fuck about that, i've just lost my baby". At least we are off to London for a long weekend to visit OH's disharmonious (is that even a word) family so that should take my mind of it (well, maybe in that alcohol will help greatly!).

Am still bleeding though and did an OPK today (god knows why) which was positive but must still be the pregnancy hormones.

I am now wondering about my daily cup of coffee (now moved onto half caffeine) and whether or not my conception vitamins might have caused something (Dr Google had something about Vitamin K in them being back with exasperating blood clotting disorders but I don't even know if I have one of those). I guess i'm not alone in turning to google for an answer! I'm stil not sure if (folic acid aside) conception vitamins are a good thing but the zita west website (in particular) does a good sell.

Anyway, I digress!! Just wanted to say how about crap this all is, really. really. really. CRAP. It's utter bollocks and shit.

freelancegirl - am hoping we can get back on the horse asap, I do think it will help as I also want to feel that closeness with OH again. Am hoping the first time isn't scary and he doesn't feel the extra pressure.

pixie - thanks for your dust!

panpipe - how have your colleages been with you that know what happened? I still haven't told any of mine but might, given time. It's still a bit to raw for me to talk about it without bursting into tears.

xx

Hi Pie -

try not to worry that it was something you 'did' that may or may not have caused something - my surgeon said that these things just happen. & since Ive been on here I've realised that it happens to soooo many women... it does not make it easier, but does help to know that it's not our fault.
i was scared that my m/c happened becuase of too much coffee, but i'll never know & don't want ot torture myself anymore than i did already.

is is really. really. really. CRAP. It's utter bollocks and shit. there is no other way better to put it = so more pixie dust your way to try & help out.

also if you need to cry, it's not a bad idea to cry. sometimes telling people, crying infront of them does actually help - it helped me. .

panpipe - pixie dust your way too... how are you?

thatgirl - glad to herar that you are feeling a bit more optimistic. is it lasting? i hope so...

I'm off to jump on the virtual 'chat' bus to talk utter nonsense with others who have gone thro m/c too x

I'll probably be back as I'm adictaed to m/n & need at least 20 hrs a day . & i'm on my 1st AF since m/c & am really feeling it -it's heavy & tiring x

sqiggles to everyone on there x
Pixie

Haven't popped by here in a while (I struggle to keep up with more than one thread!). Have only read back the last few posts but couldn't leave without also offering my support and condolences to Piemistress and Panpipe. I hope you will find it helpful to share your thoughts and experiences on here - I have long been a MN user but only started posting on threads when I had my MC and I am so glad I did as I have met some wonderfully supportive friends here (hello to those of you who are still here ).

Free wow has it been 8 weeks, I guess it has. My second post-MC AF arrived on the weekend. We were going to start TTC on this cycle after having a bit of a break after the MC, but we are still a bit on the fence about whether we might wait one more cycle. Am not sure how I feel about it yet. It is really a few social engagements coming up that is making us think we might wait, but I am not sure, I think I might be ready to try anyway. But to the ladies who are still reeling from your very recent losses, I hope reading this might reassure you that you will move on and things will get better. One day at a time, just take it slow.