How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

I found it! In m/c but with a happy title about girlie holidays!

Post mc Ibiza party thread here for those feeling a little less raw about it now....

My tiny brain is still trying to remember who I have replied to on what thread now but I just wanted to say to LIG, it sounds like your scan didn't quite go to plan am I right? Let us know, we are all thinking of you. Diamonds I think is still away.

Thanks for the idea for the thread for those of us moving on Cream, many of your feelings are exactly the same of mine. Being confused as to whether I actually want children, worried that I will really, really want them and then not be able to have them, yet conversely worried about changes in lifestyle but also worried that I will regret not having them. Having weighed up these odds for years I think I will try to have them and see how that gets me. I too was very teary and it's only half way through the weekend that I have started to feel a bit brighter again. I think (I know this sounds pathetic) but I read a really long, inspiring horoscope and even though it's probably a load of bull it inspired me to start focussing on my career again, channelling some of that ambition and start sending out a lot of ideas to people for work. So today I have been really busy doing just that.

I am also quite happy in a way that the decision as to whether to ttc straight away has been taken away from me as I wait for the long waiting list for Dr S to spit up my name. It means the pressure is off.

Lovely long posts from BLL and Mopey too. Gosh we do all think things through a lot don't we. It's great that we can come on here and chat and not worry what anyone else will think of us, given that we are all going through the same thing to a certain extent, even though all of our circumstances of how we got here and our home lives are all quite different.

Right, I have said this on the Ibiza thread but who is up for Thurs in London? xx

hey all,

free thanks for cheering me up and giving me homework to my pcos thread. i think it really threw me as i guess because i didn't have any symptoms except for acne although that really improved in the gap between stopping the pill and getting pregnant. will try to come along to london (as there already) but it depends on how the course goes - not been doing too well with work and study and today has completely thrown me. i think i was so high this morning before the scan and then the fact that i still had something less to pass and the pcos really sent me low again. really want to get off this rollercoaster!

IC got a question about clacking ovaries - what do you mean by that? how does it feel -not sure mine have ever clacked. having said that I have only ever had one AF since I was 16 so not sure that I would know. Sort of wish that I had come of the pill a little earlier but I sort of assumed at 16 that everything was normal and that would continue!

Just had to delete a very morbid monologue - need to go home and drink wine. (Seems to be something different most days that cause me to go to wine - want my chilled happy pregnancy hormones that made me want to go home and drink mint tea and watch TV every night!) I am sure I will be smiling again with a new plan by tomorrow and then probably upset about something new by tomorrow evening!

See some of you on Thursday hopefully!! x x

Ah, LIG, sorry to hear you had some bad news.

Re: clacking ovaries.
TBH, I've never noticed them doing anything before (I, too spent the vast majority of my reproductive years on the pill or fitted with a Mirena coil) it was only because a few people mentioned that they could feel when they were ovulating that I was sensitised to the sensation, IFSWIM. It was a sort of crampy-type slightly contracting feeling (hard to explain) which didn't feel like indigestion and I knew wasn't connected to AF because it had finished a good week or so previously. I figured I must have been ovulating by a process of elimination, really. The sensation was certainly in that part of my body.
Of course, I could very well be wrong!

I.C Did they clack a tune or two?

And LIG I have responded on both the other threads, but big hugs and get thee to the wine cupboard. Thinking of you xxxx

Really

Hi everyone -

Michy - how are you, how are you feeling, physically, emotionally. how your DD?

Diamond - how's you & how is your dad doing?

Mopey - hello - how you doin' ????

whre R CREAM, BLUE, BLL, WL, & JEMIMA??? are you there? have I forgotten anyone?

Please, please, please can someone expain to me what clacking ovaries are? I'm sooo lost..... thnx

also, not sure if it was on here i posted, but it's been on my mind a lot about the dread of playdates/toddlers groups. does anyone else have this?
perhaps I should post on AIBU thread? I do want to be a mother, but actually hate the idea of the groups/playdate/sleepover ect ... I wonder if it's these dreads that didn't make baby happen ?!?!?

pixie x

Hi Pixie - I do get your dread of all the toddler groups etc but you really can dip in and out as much as you want to and it is a pretty gradual introduction as for the first few months you are pretty housebound anyway.

I think they are as much for the mums to have company rather than the babies actually learning anything, and you always find one or two kindred spirits that give you some adult company in what can sometime seem like a rather long day on your own!! The coffee at the end was always the best bit!

Having said that my number 3 dc has done very little of all and I dont think she has ended up too maladjusted!
Not sure on the clacking ovaries - is it ovulation?
How are you doing?

Hello, i havn't posted for a while. Hope everyone is good.

Pixie I am with you on the playdate/group thang, a bit like a forced friendship. I am sure when the time comes there will be other like minded people lurking at the back, scowling!

I do get the clacking ovaries - i would say it's more a mere twinge than a clack however!

Lig sorry you are having such a crap time of it. Enjoy putting your feet up and having some vino this eve.

hi again guys -
i've just to post here again - just heard t hat my SIL gave birth again ! ! ! !

before i go any further i must tell you that she is shallow - & uses her 3y/o DD as a dressing up doll only & leaves ALL other responsibilities to the dad. Really - i';m not joking...

anyway - she's been on phone to my DP complaining that the new (2day old) baby wont sleep & her 3yo DD is too clingy.... i want to scream......

her DD is gorgeous & im not sure how much sleep a tiny ones does. dont they all cry, poo, eat, sleep, cry, eat, have wind, cry some more?!?!?!?!

Blo...dy hell - HELP ME somoone.

Im glad they are in France ...

Pixie

I'm off to ibiza thread to drown sorrows in copious rum cocktails & a large slices of brie with crackers x

Oh poor Pixie. I imagine that she might have some complaints if she gave birth two days ago but she really shouldn't be complaining to you and your DP. It's very tactless considering you have just lost a much wanted pregnancy. I hope your DP is okay and isn't feeling too upset after the phonecall, this must be tremendously hard for her too.

See you on the other thread for rum cocktails, head over Jemima too

ah thanx really - yes my DP is TOTALLY MARVELOUS.

x x x

Aw, pixie....congrats to her and your DB and all that, but I'm not surprised it's a bit teeth-grinding for you at the moment.

I don't tend to do the playgroup/ toddler group thing at the moment. It's too much hassle in many respects and I don't believe it really offers much to very young children other than lots of extra illnesses...! Maybe when she's older and can appreciate the company of other children, but for now - nah.
We do occasional "playdates" with mums who are my mates, so the playdate is more for me than DD - although she enjoys the change of scene and a chance to check out someone else's toys.

There are no laws saying you have to do all these things pixie, so you be the kind of mum that suits you best! (and I'm sure you will be one day soon....x)

Hello Ladies

Sorry I haven't been around in awhile I've been on holiday with my DD just a shorth break to help us get back to sanity...
Her dad is now in prison (on remand) as he kept breaking his bail conditions not to contact me...
I've recently started counciling and I am very surprised that it really helps as after MC i was not in a good place...
But how is everyone doing I must learn names I feel so out of the loop... How was the meet up hope everyone had a blast...
Will be commenting more frequently now as I don't have to hide at night :)...

:( Lost twins, bub 1 at 6 week, bub 2 at 9 week scan heartbeat had stopped. My sil gave birth a few days before so I am a green eyed monster at the moment . Nobody knew we were preggers and we keep getting comments about providing a cousin - to tell or not to tell?

On oral cytotec and antibiotics, some cramping and spotting, but not much happening. I wish it was over and praying I will not need a D&C. Scan in 10 days to check if D&C needed.

Positives :) - will be nice not to be classed as "high risk" and having to "take it easy" and worry constantly about what I can and can't do. time to get out and enjoy being active again.
-a glass of red accompanied by some mouldly cheese will go down nicely once I'm off the antibiotics

Hi Michy it sounds like you are in a much more positive place and I am really impressed that you have got so far. Sounds like it is good to have DD's Dad away from you!

Hello Chocolate so sorry for your losses. That must be awful. Having mc'd around 7 weeks ago I can tell you it might go on for a few weeks with bleeding etc afterwards so try to be strong and think of all the good things. It will be really hard I know. On this thread we have had different experiences - some of us 'passed the sac' at home, some needed help after this not happening and some have had D&Cs etc so there is bound to be someone on hand to be able to advise you whatever experience it is. My 'natural' one was really painful with a lot of labour pains but other people have 'passed' everything with not much pain at all so you never really know how it will go. Please feel free to ask any question at all though as we have all been through it.

I found it did help to tell my friends in RL after it happened, even though most of them didn't know I was pg in the first place. I just couldn't be myself and had to give them a reason. And yes drinking wine and eating a lot of cheese has got most of us though this! Oh and a bit more wine xx

Hi, has anyone had blood tests to see if they have issues with clotting? Did it show up anything. My Dr is sending me for these blood tests on the NHS which is good as I thought I would have to pay but I am imagining that they will show nothing. Thanks

Thanks Freelancegirl.
As sad as it is knowing so many others out there have been through this, it is comforting to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There are so many women now chatting and blogging about their experiences it makes me feel more normal as a woman and less incompetent. Having the doc tell me that it is all "normal" or "common" just washed over me and was of no comfort .

Things progressing very very slowly, still just minimal spotting, even after cytotec. On antibiotics and doc says to wait for scan on 18th to check if need D&C. Sooooooo faaaaaaaaar awwwwwaaaaaaaayyyyy.....

Hello everyone
I'd just like to say how comforting it has been for me reading your posts on this topic, i just had to sign up and join in. I would have been 12 weeks pg yesterday and had an appointment for dating scan; today was going to be the day we started telling friends and extended family about our bean.

After sailing through to Tuesday this week i started to bleed, went to hospital but they could only offer me a scan on Thurs at the earliest, that morning i really bled and had bad cramps for an hour, i new it was all over and was a complete mess when we arrived for the scan. Apparently bean hadn't progressed beyond 5 weeks. I have to go back in one week for another scan to see if D&C will be necessary.

I cannot describe how i feel at the moment or where i go from here, i do have the urge to try again as soon as possible and then the next minute think i never want to put myself in a position where the same thing could happen again.

Hello all,

pixie just saw your post about your sil - that must be difficult. i guess it is difficult for people to know how to react and maybe didn't want to appear to be not talking about it. in a different way i feel a bit upset that my BIL told my DH about their pregnancy and my SIL has not even spoken to me since i said about the miscarriage. (i am trying to think that she doesn't know what to say but she sent me a video of her DS and I replied how cute it was and she didn't even reply to me. she lives in dubai and we always used to speak to each other.)

chocolate i think the 'normal' is supposed to reassure you it is quite common - whenever i have told people about the miscarriage other people have come out of the woodwork to say they have been through the same thing but just kept it quiet. i find it easy to tell some groups and not others - i therefore have some people i can moan and cry with and some people that i can just be 'normal' with and forget about it all.

monkey also sorry to see you on the board as well. i think it is normal to have really extreme swings in opinion - i swing from wanting to get pregnant again immediately to not wanting to have children at all or adopting. i also go from thinking that i am over it to feeling incredibly depressed - never quite sure what my mood will be.

ic going to try to listen for my ovaries now if i ever manage to finish this miscarriage - thought i was done but still got some product left but it doesn't seem to want to leave me!! would really love to have a normal body again!

bye for now x x

Hi ladies. Hope everyone is ok, in the circumstances.Pudding I asked my gp to send off for clotting tests and they did a few and they all came up clear. But because I have a history of thyroid probs I already knew I had raised thyroid antibodies and that seems to be my issue. Get your GP to do as many tests as you can though - thyroid, thyroid antibodies, blood clotting and anything else they can think of.

Hope Chocolate is ok - any signs of anything happening yet?

Hi Monkey, so sorry to hear your news. Your dates are exactly the same as mine - I started to mc three days before 12 week scan. I know exactly how awful it is, just as you feel you are out of the woods. I'm now a good 7 weeks on from that stage and I can tell you it gets better. The first bit is awful, the shock and sheer grief of it all coupled with pain (if you get it) and bleeding. I too was thinking I wanted to start ttc again straight away, I think that's the hormones kicking in as they start to notice a baby is 'missing'. I've moved on from that stage though and have gone back to my pre-pg 'shall I or shan't I' type feeling. But that's because I know I have to wait anyway as I need treatment and testing. Like LIG says, there are so many conflicting emotions.

Immediately afterwards too I just wanted to go out and get trashed. So did a fair bit of that. Then I spent a few weeks just wanting to escape. If I am honest I think I had a touch of depression, not wanting to do anything, my brain being total fog, screwing up meetings as I forgot them, forgetting good friends names...It was hideous. I bled for around 6 weeks on and off too and was just waiting for AF. I think I did get it, but am still not sure. Then there were several trips too and from EPU for scans as it all took a long time to clear.

BUT Seven weeks in I am finally starting to feel better and you will soon too hon. Yes we have been a great support to each other on here, we've laughed, we've cried, we've compared goo in our knickers and nothing has been off limits. It's been so good to have this support. I hope you get some comfort from it too, knowing you can come out the other side of this soon like we are gradually learning to do.

I think people underestimate the physical after effects too. I still feel bloated and have put on a few pounds which is a very frustrating constant reminder of everything that has happened. I was really tired for a few weeks too. I am gradually getting better and feel a lot stronger now but the weight is a bit frustrating as I go to the gym and work on it a lot. I am also still in the drinking a lot stage so veer between being really good for a few days and then letting it all go again. But having been pregnant for almost 12 weeks that is a lot of pregnancy hormones to get rid of and friend's of mine have told me it took them three months to feel normal again. So really, just take it easy and be kind to yourself. Sleep, eat, see friends and do what you can to make yourself feel better. It might take some time but every week things get a little bit better xx

Thanks LIG and Freelance for your comments. Although DH and family are being as supportive as possible i don't think they can fully comprehend how it feels.

Freelance i'm particularly reassured by your storey as our dates were the same; i can see there is light at the end of the tunnel. I am concerned about when the bleeding will stop and wish my boobs would stop being tender, i could deal with boobs no problem when i new there was a good reason for it, now it's just a cruel lingering effect of what was.

I've put off wine up until now as i thought it might be a bad thing with unstable emotions however i've decided a couple of glasses tonight will be in order, i've got to reintroduce normality at some point.

Thanks again ladies, so pleased i found you. xxxx

Monkey. Welcome/hi,

Best remedies that have helped nearly everyone on this thread are:
Wine, icecream & cheese (especially the previously pg. off limits ones) & LOTS OF THEM x

Hi chocolate x

Thnx LIG x my SIL is a always a bit of a pain...but w.t.f...with yr SIS in Dubai? Have u spoken to her? Are things normally good between you??you must feel bit upset? The dvd seems bit mean timing...Big hugs yr way x (passing the large bottle of vodka yr way with the pack of Marlboro,plus yr breakfast plate of sausage,egg, beans&chips)

Hi & Luv n hugs to IC, FREE, MICHY, PUDDING, JEMIMA, MOPEY, DIAMOND, CREAM, BLUE, BLL, WL x x x x & anyone I forgot mwah (which one of it was you dancing naked in the pool at 4am??? Singing "en...ge...laaaand... en..ge..land....en...ge..land")????? .

RE WE going to Madrid for our next virtual holiday???? Cool. Hola x

I intend to b even more trim than I am here in ibiza, more bronzed, &-even more outrageous x

Pixie x