How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

Really just headed over to AIBU to offer you support but I see you have heaps already and rightfully so. That is appalling behaviour from your friend (or should that be ex-friend). That must have really upset you and rightfully so. No amount of excuses would make up for what she did. Sending big hugs to you and you DS x

Also thank you for the lovely welcome back - it's such a warm and friendly place here.

I've not seen the sperm and egg plan, may have to trawl back and look for it. I have however had a bath and shaved my legs so I'm good to go Oh the romance of it all. I agree Really about the things we say to those we have never met, which brings me onto your get together with Freelance, so wish I could join for drink and cigarettes, I'm not a smoker (anymore) but I do love to rebel from time to time. I'm 2 hours from London though so I will have to join you in a virtual . I will also be checking in the next morning to make sure no-one's residing under a patio somewhere!

Diamonds just read back about your Dad, I really hope all is ok, what a tough tough time for you x

Cream I re-read my post and I sound like a 5yr old. Oh god, asking the big high MN people an opinion is terrifying!

FREE - what is AIBU???? sorry for being thick...

I've just had my 1st tennis lesson today & still coming down from hue-mun-gus endophine rushes.... oh & plus a wee spot of rummmm (not bicardi, but delicious stuff from martinique!). (did I read that one of you lived in carribean???)

I'm in the N London area & meeting up sounds like a great idea. Thur 5th is good for me too, if you don't mind me coming along?.. have you decided on where?

IC - thank you sooo much for info on how to get the mooncup out ! there was No info about that on the box ... (does the goooe/blood etc.. not just go everywhere?)

Also Needing a bit of advice? : I'm going away at this weeked - & actually dreading it - we're going to see friend/family in France - we told them all about the pgcy & now DP had to tell them about m/c - Ive not seen any of them & not looking forward to conversation/sad looks etc... I think I feel fairly up-beat most of the time, but bit worried that talking about it again will bring me down.
does anyone have any tips/thoughts on how to deal with this?

warm/cozy hugs to:
IC, FREE, CREAM, REALLY, DIAMOND, ID, JEMIMA, BLUE, MICHY, WL
really HOPE I've not missed anyone xxxxx

will post next week when I'm back - x (& from there if i get a chance x)

pixie

Pixie It is The Am I being unreasonable thread.

Oh, yum yum, rum is always yummy.

Oh poor Pixie. Go with it and go to your room if you find it hard. I hope everyone is lovely and if so, have a sad moment and a hug. Sometimes I think people who love you want to show it and it's whether you can deal with it or not. But if you don't want to discuss it, tell DP and leave it to them to forewarn people. I hope you have a lovely healing holiday. Big hugs xx

Really you are very brave to post on there as I've seen some posts on there that don't mince any words. You were right to be scared - however your thread was not you being unreasonable, hence all the MN support.

Pixie enjoy your break and just go with it. I found I got upset evertime I explained it all to someone else, but i felt it was all part of the healing process. I actually found it harder when people didn't ask and tried to tiptoe around me. Just be honest with them and if you don't feel like talikng about it say, then when your ready I'm sure they'll be there to listen. I've found that those that haven't personally been through an MC often don't know what to do or say and can often do/say the wrong thing, but just remember they are trying to do what they think is best and it's only because they care. Hope you get to enjoy some sunshine. x

ohhhh - thanks guys - x x x xx

will try to enjoy - it IS France after all.

also, i went to the AIBU thing - THAT IS AWFUL ! ! ! silly, silly c.w / b....h.

REALLY - where is caribbean did you live? lucky you

I just can't seem to go to bed this evening.

pix

Hi huys sorry i haven't been about
Havnt been at home so hence no interent! Have decided i have been away to long so am using my phone!
Hope all are ok...
Difficult to name check because i am on my phone.
Im glad the scan went ok for you free and michy hope all is ok read through your post and very worried about you.
Sorry if ive missed out on any other big posts its very confusing goin back on this stupid phone.
Well my stomach pains have gone to quite literally an ache! Everytime i move my stomach hurts :( am very concerned about an infection? any1 else felt like this...
Scan tomorrow and am really hoping it has all gone as it is 3 weeks since they said there was 2cm left. Fingers are crossed!
Also had a naughty moment yesterday and really hope i havnt been silly enough to have been caught! it was spur of the moment and didnt even think about it properly until after! really want to wait for my af :(

What a load of rambling im doing! Big hugs to everyone :) xx

Hello Ladies :)
I'm doing esp. well today finally got my stuff and I'm back with my parents its kind of weird as I haven't lived with them since 15 and I've always been very self righteous about it (independent woman and all that jazz)
This is the first evening in a long while where I haven't had to be weary of what I'm saying or doing I feel like a new woman... I'm also very proud of myself I changed the locks at my house and put all is stuff including his gadgets outside I felt like starting a bonfire but I didn't want to cause a scene [cgrin] I've also gotten on to my solicitors and I'm about to start court proceedings so he can have supervised visits (doesn't have parental rights as he decided he was too tired to come to the registry office).
I feel like I'm now able to mourn the loss of my baby in peace I had a little cry for (angel) today first time I've actually cried for baby and not for myself...

I'm really scared as this is my second MC and I don't know if this is the start of a long line of MC's.

Q: As anyone else had multiple MC's?? And have they given you a reason why or is it just the regular "its just one of those things"?

Hope everyone is doing and well and thanks for all your support its funny how just hearing how concerned people where just brought home to me what could have happend had I stayed... Thanks again guys...

O) Michy x x sending big hugs yr way x

Yay michy!!
It's great to hear about the action you've taken wrt your domestic situation. I'm so pleased you can relax and feel safe somewhere.
And yes, you need the emotional space to let yourself grieve for your lost pregnancy.
I'm no expert, but it seems likely your 2nd mc was caused by your partner's assault on you, so in all probability there is no common "medical" link between the that and the previous mc. I would have thought your next pregnancy will give you the same odds as everyone else on carrying to term (4 in 5).
Having said that, I believe now I'm over 40 my own odds have shortened a little. But take heart, michy, there's every chance you'll be able to successfully have another baby next time round.
(I sympathise though - I've only had the one mc, but as much as I try to banish the thought I might have recurrent mcs, it's hard to stop it lurking in the background)

I'm sorry to be missing out on the meet-up! Have fun and report back, free, pixie, Really and anyone else who rocks up.

Hi cream, pnj, good to hear from you again!

Do you think your thyroid situation is also contributing to your mood swings, free? Sounds tough

THE ANGLO-HISPANIC MOONCUP ADVISORY SERVICE RE-OPENS FOR BUSINESS
pixie, if you make sure you keep the Mooncup the right way up when you take it out, you shouldn't spill the contents. Also, to be on the safe side, I take it out while on the loo in the same way as you would a tampon - that way, you can tip it straight out and not worry about making a mess.
If you happen to have a bidet by the loo, they are handy for giving it a quick rinse before re-inserting, but you don't have to do that every time. Just once or twice a day when you've got a bit of own bathroom privacy!

Pnj Hello lovely, good to see you back again. Am glad the pain has subsided somewhat but do you think you ought to get the residual pain checked out. Hopefully you can mention it when you have the scan. And don't worry about being naughty - I did the same and I'm 100% convinced I'm not pregnant, like you I'm waiting for after AF

Pixie I hope the weekend goes well and can't wait to meet you on Thursday. We'll pn the details once they're confirmed but definately Waterloo if that's okay?

Cream Am glad you'll be joining us for a virtual wine - if you change your mind about the 2 hour journey, even better!

Michy I wish I could put into words how much I admire you for being brave and leaving. You are my heroine. However strange it is to be back home right now, am glad you have the space to be sad for your m/c and start living the life you deserve. We will raise a toast for you on Thursday, and do come if you're nearby.

immaculada Will you be charging for the service? You should put a price list together .

Waves at everyone else

Hiya Ladies :)

I hope everyone is having a lovely day! I've just been reding thru and I'm gonna go have a little nose on The post freelance made on the AIBU...

Hi, I hope you don't mind me joining in here. I have just had my 2nd miscarriage in the past 8 mths. I have the most gorgeous nearly 3 yr old DD but I am feeling so miserable. The first miscarriage was at 9 wks and the 2nd was at 12 wks (was just about to have my scan a couple of days later).

I am 39 so don't know if that has anything to do with it. My pregnancy with DD was a piece of cake and I also get pregnant at the drop of a hat. DH wants to pay for testing but I a) don't know if I even want to try again and b) begrudge spending our very minimal savings on tests which will probably show nothing is wrong.

I was just wondering if anyone had any advice? Thanks

Michy lovely, I'm the one who has put the AMIBU thread on. Unless Freelance has put one on 'Do I have to spend Thursday night with a bunch of nutters'

Pudding25 Welcome and a big sorry for your losses. You poor thing, am sorry that you have gone through this twice. I don't know much about tests at this stage, but Freelance might be able to help.. she'll rock up soon I imagine. I think there are some you can ask your gp to do.. but she'll have more details I expect. In the meantime, I hope you are being looked after and as Pixie puts it, being kind to yourself. Big hugs xxx

Right, here goes ????.. catch up time

I?ve been back at work this week after Easter hols ? and have been lurking but not had time to post.

Diamonds - so sorry to hear about your Dad, how is he doing?

Michymommy - I?m so sorry to hear about the awful situation you were in and think you are very brave for getting yourself out of it. Your DD should be very proud of you.

I?ve enjoyed all the mooncup talk ? will definitely be looking into them (not literally )

Really I agree, the house renovation sounds fab. I?m jealous
I have also been enjoying the Crimson Petal and the White ? might have to go and get the book. I have to admit it took me a while to get used to Chris Dowd in a serious role ? I kept waiting for him to say something silly in an Irish accent.

Freelance - sorry you?ve been feeling low. I would never have believed until I?d actually experienced it, the rollercoaster of emotions involved after a miscarriage. But I?m glad you?ve finally stopped bleeding and had a clear scan. Have you heard anything more regarding your appointment (was it with Dr S)?

LIG - glad you are enjoying being back at work. What did you decide about TTC?

Good luck with the TTC Cream

Sorry you?re still suffering with tummy pains pnjeff - good luck for scan tomorrow.

Hi to IC Pixie and welcome to jemima and pudding, sorry if I?ve missed anyone.

I?ve just had a huge wave of sadness today and I don't know where its come from. I'm tired I think.
There's a lady on our street who has 3 boys (and is expecting again) and I saw her today and thought, that should be me too.
I should have three boys. I can't stop thinking about him at the moment - have a huge lump in my throat.

Its my SIL-to-be's hen do this weekend which I'm looking forward to but DB's partner is going too who is expecting twins. I have seen her several times recently and its fine - its no longer awkward and they know how excited I am for them. But I know everyone else is going to be making a huge fuss over her, and thats going to be hard. And then I feel guilty and selfish for feeling like that - as she deserves to be made a fuss of.
Its crap

I?m nowhere near London unfortunately ? so will have to join you all in a virtual too.

Right am off to read Reallys AIBU thread??..

Hello everyone.
I am feeling a little tipsy having been on the red vino this afternoon following my erpc (wasn't as bad as i expected at all, despite being under general and being told what was going on throughout by the consultant - eek). Feeling kind of relieved that the whole wait is over and we can start a fresh. I got very, very good care at our local hospital, i was lucky.
I know i may feel very differently once the lovely chilled out pregnancy hormones start to plummet and i turn into a pessimistic, amazingly broody and grumpy basket case again (this happened after my last mc).

Michy, you have been so strong leaving the sitaution you were in. I hope you are doing ok and now get some space and time to get over your loss. You have been very brave indeed.

Blue - the hendo sounds like it will be hard but i hope you manage to have a good time. I know how difficult it is to be pleased for other pg people when all you want to be is in their position. I have a SIL who is accidently (grrr) pregnant and a best friend too who would be due when i was. I am happy for them but it is amazingly hard to see their bumps developing and hearing their pregancy news and excitement.

I am also no where near London, so will have to join you southerners for a virtual !

All the best to you all and thanks for your ongoing support!
Duck

Diamonds Sorry i missed your post about your dad really hope he is making good progress? Must be so awful especially when there are still feeling from the miscarriage to deal with. I can imagine your brain is probably working overtime.

Michymommy So glad you have managed to get yourself out of that situation. It must be so lovely to feel like yourself again and not treading on eggshells in your own home. So proud of you

Really Wow how exciting doing your own renovation. It must be a lot of hard work but so fulfilling as well. I have always imagined doing my own and as soon as we have enough savings i'm sure we will. Have spoken to docter today about pain and he seems to think there is nothing to worry about as no offensive smelling discharge as he nicely put it. So fingers crossed all is ok.

Freelance Sorry your not feeling to great. I know what you mean about feeling ok and then awful again. It only takes something small but i think i just expected that i would get back to normal after a while but this just doesn't seem to be the case. My boss had a snotty moment with me on the phone and i could feel myself starting to well up so the phone went down. Luckily i still have my job.

Blue Sorry you are feeling sad and don't feel guilty unfortunately i see people who are pregnant and wonder why it isnt me. My friend had exactly the same due date as me and rang yesterday to say she was having a boy. I quickly got of the phone and had a cry.I just cant be happy for her the moment because i feel so angry that this has happened to me. Hopefully we can sort out a little meet up.

pudding So sorry to hear your sad news must be awful that this has happened again. Big hugs for you. I know that age can be a factor however there are plenty of women that carry full term who are over 40 so please don't give up hope. I know your gp may be able to do soom testing soon if you explain that you are concerned about your age? Maybe this is worth a try. It sounds as though your partner is being supportive as i know a lot of women feel as though they dont understand. Hopefully if your doctor can help you can save on spending your savings. Good luck

InmaculadaConcepcion The Mooncup sounds very interesting think i may have a go myself. You should get in touch with the company and ask if you can help with advertising your doing a very good job or buy shares?

cream Hope you are doing ok :) Keep up with the fantastic advice you really are very helpful

Am struggling now as using phone but big waves to Jemima and pixie hope thats everyone.

Well i went to have my scan today. I think can i posted very early morning so it looked like my scan was tomorrow. Anyway had to go to Telford but i was early morning so was hoping that id miss the happy pregnant ladies. Unfortunatey not. I had a little cry as a lady came out with her scan photos. How silly of me!! They took a pregnancy test for me which was negative so good news. Also had the scan which showed there was nothing left HOOAY!! She checked my ovaries which she said were very clear. I do however have a uterine lining of a cm which would suggest that i am about to ovulate and they think my period should be here in 1 to 2 weeks at the most. Bit odd as i only stopped bleeding a week ago.

The other lady i spoke to seemed to think that 1cm was a little unusual? has anyone elses been this thick on their ultrasound? Anyway after the good news i went to have a lovely lunch and a drink by the river so not a bad day. Im rambling now. Sorry for the long post xxx

Sorry crossed with your post Jemima glad everything went ok and you enjoyed that wine. I think it was much deserved and so glad they took good care of you. Make sure you get plenty of rest

Just realised that should be Chris O'Dowd. I woke up in the middle of the night and realised I'd typed it in wrongly

Hi jemima - glad the ERPC went as well as can be expected, and you can now start afresh. I'm also glad you recieved such good care from your hospital - it makes such a big difference. Whereabouts are you?

pnjeff - glad the scan went well. I don't know anything about uterine linings unfortunately - I'm sure someone else will be along who does. Glad you had a nice day, its the little treats and nice things that get us through the hard times.

Me again, sorry.

I've just been reading this thread - and found Issystark's post very interesting.
Has anyone else read it?

She also links to a few articles - I'm not subscribed to New Scientist so can't read the full article.

I'm not classed as RMC as I've only had 2 losses, but I have always conceived within 2 cycles. I've never heard of the non-fussy uterus theory before but it does make sense, and is quite comforting in a way.

Hi Blue,
I am in Bolton and got my care at the Royal Bolton Trust early pregnancy unit. There is a mc specialist there who has his own clinics. He uses St Marys (the London one rather than the Manchester one, i think) to run the mc tests. I can not sing their praises enough.

I have read about the non fussy uterus theory too and i think it makes a lot of sense. Not sure it is the case with me as it took 10 months with first pg but then got pg again straight after first mc (the 2nd pg is the one we just lost). I think my body is just generally confused!

Hello to everyone else.
x

Hello all,

I am sitting here watching the royal wedding, studying and now trying to post on mumsnet as well. it is not going well.

realised i have alot of posts to read over the last few days....

iloveblue saw those links and looked up non-fussy uterus but i am now sort of worried that i have an easy uterus after falling pregnant very easily after stopping the pill then loosing it. (By saying this i am not sure whether i am laughing or crying at this point as i don't want to go through this again if my uterus is just too easy to wait for a decent egg/sperm to implant but also got an image in my head of a slightly slutty uterus that takes what it can get!) also about the TTC, i made a decision to wait until my scan on Tuesday to check everything is out and what my lining is doing. (Not sure i could go through the stress if i did get pregnant and bled again and them saying it may be a bit of the last pregnancy left.)

michy so glad you are now staying with your parents. it does make me feel better that you are now safe and hopefully you can start to get over the miscarriage and the hurt you are feeling.

free sorry you are feeling down again. i think it is just one of those things - as pnjeff said little things can trigger you off. i feel happy for a while and then something throws me. nearly cried when my car failed its' MOT yesterday which really isn't like the normal me.

really, free and pixie - is the meet up on Thursday an evening thing in london? i am in london that day but i have got an exam the next day so may be able to make it depending on how the course goes and how i feel about the exam. would like to meet you all!

pnjeff still not sure about the lining - mine was 12mm whilst miscarrying - but not sure what normal is. I think it should be somewhere between 7mm and 14mm when having a normal cycle but what is normal depends on where you are in the cycle. (I am turning into a pregnancy geek at the moment sort of looking forward to my next scan so i can have more stuff to look up.)

jemima i found out that my SIL was expecting too last week. they found out when we told them about the miscarriage, so waited a week or so before telling us. they did try and reassure us that it wasn't planned as their little boy is only 8 months old but if anything that made me feel worse. luckily they live in the middle east so we don't see them too much but had to avoid them over the easter weekend. i don't want to be mean as i am happy for them I just can't be at the moment. Got their little ones christening at the beginning of june and i am dreading it. (To make it worse I have been invited on a work jolly to Vegas that weekend but as I am going to be a god-parent I really do have to go.)

Sorry not managed to say hello to everyone - but hope you are all having another good long weekend. x x

Thanks for the advice. I think I will go to the dr next week. She did say she would see what she could do re testing but was thinking that was wishful thinking as the hospital said I would have to pay.

I have a new computer! And although my hair is still fuzzy (no new GHD's yet) I intend to sit down this weekend and do a proper catch up on all of you. Wanted to say a quick hi in the meantime and say I am thinking of you all and I look forward to reading up on everyone's news.

We don't get the wedding holiday here but it is a long weekend anyway with Monday being a holiday so I will post a proper update soon.

I have missed talking to you all.

hello everyone - i see there are (for me), new nqmes, so my apologies for not saying proper hello how - i,m in middle of difficult evening.
im in frqnce & trying to take the very kind & helpful advice givce on here - to let people be themselves - everyone here has been LOVELY - & i cant stand it x x x i feel ,miseralbe. my SIL has 3 boys & the littlist is soooo damn cute & I could have just taken him home. spending a few hours with him did not do my hormones qny good at all - several glasses of wine in & im a wreck x so have retreated to bedroom to read mumsnet posts & my apologies for dreadful post - just needed to rant x thanks x
why is life so unfair???
pixie x