This has nothing to do with bootcamp.. But it seemed such a poignant poem. It says everything I felt when I was struggling with the balance of being a mother, a wife, a career person, me... So I thought I'd share it.
These days a bed with us both
doesn’t need a baby between
For us to be separate
or feel unseen.
A thought of you is quickly replaced
About them, or the chores
Or shrugging off your embrace.
Never far from apart
As you pull me in close
A beautiful battle
of who needs me the most.
My energy drained bit by bit
My arms pulled to elastic
My hair fraying like a ragdoll
What to do with your compliments
When my reflection’s so fragile.
It’s not your fault
You see me the same
Mum, Mummy, babe, Mummy, Honey
I’ve forgotten my name.
My heart is so full yet it’s still healing
I open my mouth and speak
words with no feeling.
We talk when it’s dark and all is done
Once the trials from the day
are razor sharp on my tongue.
And to extend further warmth
just feels like a chore
There’s no pictures of just us
on my phone anymore.
And it’s not that I don’t love you, I do,
more than ever.
It’s the ships we’ve become,
drifting off in the weather.
And I long to fall into those arms
so much
But I don’t quite know what to do
with your touch.
I know beautiful and ragged
become one in the same
when we speak of mothers,
when we speak of this change.
It shouldn’t be such an effort should it?
To be a mother a wife a lover
and everything I was before and after.
I love how you try,
with all of your strength
To break down my walls,
while my arm holds our length.
It’s all I imagined,
bum pats over dishes
While our babes are tucked up,
it’s not perfect, yet it is.
I watched you with the kids the other night
It felt warm in my chest, everything felt right.
I smiled.
tell him
TELL HIM.
You looked up
And I swallowed.
“Are you taking out the bins?”
🗑️
Words: Jess Urlichs, Writer ‘All I See Is You’ poetry book available here: www.jessicaurlichs.com/shop 📖
Art: angelica.ch.r