an '20 - Week 5 Low Carb Bootcamp - Onwards and downwards!

[StuntNun]

Welcome to week 5 of the Low Carb Bootcamp; we're nearly halfway through! If you've had a pause in your weight loss during week 3 or week 4, the scales should hopefully be moving again now and you can expect an average weight loss of half a pound to 2 lb each week. Nobody ever gets consistent weight loss from week to week so try not to get hung up on each week's weigh-in, it's the overall trend that we want to look at. If you're a daily weigher then try an app such as Happy Scales or True Weight that uses a rolling daily average to give you a more accurate record of your weight loss.

Add today's weight to the Spreadsheet of Fabulousness. And here's to another great week...
Onwards and downwards!

Little green corvette noodle soup!

Gaaaaahhhh

Struggling this evening big time. Coming up to TOTM and just want to eat everything.

Have made myself a peppermint and liquorice tea and then will go to bed as if I stay up I'll eat everything in sight!!

Sometimes an early night is just what you need.

tremendous sandwich @StuntNun

Brunch 2 eggs and Hellman’s
Snack ( very hungry ) ham and cheese ( 1 slice of packet ham and a slice of cheddar rolled up
D salmon fillet with spring greens , leek and mushrooms in cream and lovely mash made of celariac , swede and cauliflower
@venusandmars where are you on holiday ( tinned peaches are my favourite fruit )

Managed 16+ hrs fast and then ate 2 boiled eggs at 10:30. No problem at all! Astonished; always thought IF/ missing meals was just something "other people" did.
Lunch was a Greek salad plus yogurt with almond butter.
Dinner was the lovely ribeye from yesterday's defrosting debacle, with broccoli, cavalo nero, shallots and mushrooms. About 20g 90% chocolate and a small glass of red. Loads of water though.

@StuntNun how funny you should post the cucumber pic. I actually made a similar thing for my lunch. I am going to name them 'cucumbers toppers'. Basically took out the soggy middle, spread with cream cheese and topped with smoked salmon and black pepper. I really enjoyed the extra crunch and didn't miss bread at all!

B leftover harissa chicken and roast veg
L cucumber toppers
D pork belly stir fried with cauli rice, mushrooms and spinach

Truck load of water today, at least 4.5L including herbal teas (mainly as I've felt the urge to snack but without actually feeling hungry ifswim?!)

Really liking that cucumber sandwich
Have philly and smoked salmon in the fridge , so that’s one meal sorted for tomorrow!

So in contrast to yesterday's 'salad' which was mashed potato, chopped egg, octopus and prawn, all mixed together and presented in a dome with a prawn on top! Today I had a Michelin star dinner. Lots of delicious creamy, buttery morsels but best of all … celeriac carbonara.

It was all the delicious eggy, bacony, creamy, cheesy stuff of carbonara but the 'spaghetti' was made from noodled celeriac. OMG it was just wonderful. I WILL make that when I get home.

FFS. Home from Germany trip. Tiptoed onto scales before climbing into bed. I predict a small gain tomorrow. I'm not going to give us as such because if this weight pisses me off then gaining half a stone will really get me down. But I'm going to have a serious moment of what the fuck is the point. The only items left in my arsenal are egg fasts and exercising like a horse.

Night

Brassica when I feel like that I take the batteries out of the scales to stop me weighing. It's normal for weight loss to stall every so often, especially the closer you are to your ideal weight. Maybe you just need to KOKO.

I am feeling terribly upset and slept really badly because of how I upset my little ds yesterday. I would never post this on the main board because I would be flayed alive but please please can you help me put it right.

My ds is 9. He massively over eats, and will take food from cupboards and hide wrappers. His older sibling has had huge mental health problems and has in the past been very aggressive to all of us and I know that ds2 comfort eats partly in response to that. He had some play therapy a year ago but refused to go after a while.

H and I are separating but still in sane house. He doesn’t see the problem at all. Will give him two huge bowls of cereal etc. I had said to kids no pudding during week but extra nice puds at weekend. We generally don’t have crap in house but ds did some baking a at the weekend

So H had bought some chocolate mousses.
Ds2 has one and then it turned out he had already had a jam tart and flapjack in his packed lunch (bloody h) and another flapjack after school.

I said he was fat.

All my frustration at H came out at my son. He was so so upset. He just went completely silent.

This is the worst parenting mistake I have ever made and I am close to tears writing this. I apologised and back tracked but I think it has really damaged our relationship

How can I make it better?

Never weight at night @BrassicaBabe! Give the scales a miss for a couple of day if you need to.

Full accountability, I had a large g&t (slimline) last night and too many nuts. Plus a cracker. All stress induced and I feel crap this morning. Already planned for no breakfast as we have a sort of all day buffet at work because of an event on.

B - nothing
L - lowest carb options from the buffet, usually good selection of meats, cheeses and crudités
D - probably soup

Plus all the water!

@Almahart no judgement, that sounds incredibly stressful. Your son loves you and this is just a blip.

No expertise but just try to control the controllables. Don't show emotion to your ex. Focus on positive behaviours as much as possible.

Oh alma such a difficult situation . There is no manual on parenting and none of us is perfect at it.

alma argh I feel your pain. You're in a difficult situation and you made a mistake. Congratulations you are human! You're doing the best you can under difficult circumstances so please don't be too hard on yourself. Navigating children's eating is difficult job. Mine are 12 & 9 and though their diets are pretty good compared to many of their classmates/peers I'm shocked at how refined and sugary they can be.

Sorry their dad is undermining you. I'm on my own now and it's easier. But they do get a lot more junk food when with their dad. I have to let go of that. We do talk about sensible portions and dd1 seems to have learnt. Dd2 is another story.

Usually a nights sleep is a good healer for feelings of parental failure / but it's a while to bed time. So please go easy today & be kind to yourself.

Prediction correct. 1lb on.

Alma bless you. No answers. But I'm sure you haven't made an mistakes that can't be fixed.

Oh Alma [flowers

You're in a very tough situation right now, and I think you just have to give yourself (and your DC) a break - try and just let things go right now. In the great scheme of things, just recognise that there are certain things you cannot control right now

Your DS is isn't really mature enough to understand why you don't want him to eat all these delicious things - and let's face it, they are delicious - especially if they're being given to him by the other person he must love most in the world.

Is he really fat? Does it really matter if he eats these things for the moment, assuming he has an otherwise healthy diet?

You haven't damaged your relationship - you've just shown him that you are a normal human being, like all the rest of us, and that some times you get angry.

You apologised at the time, but I also think now it's time to sit down with him, when you're both calm - and make sure DH isn't around - and apologise again, but explain why you got so angry and what you're trying to do by limiting the sweet stuff.

I'd also make sure that you don't have stuff like cereals in the house. Not easy if your H is doing any of the shopping, but if you can, then this is where you can exert your control. I would, though, remember that your DC are still young and will be able to tolerate higher levels of carbs than an adult might - and it's difficult for them if they're not able to eat things that they like to eat, even if they're things you'd prefer them not to!

I'd also be trying to have a conversation with your H about what he's doing - does he realise that DS has a problem with over-eating? Does he not love his DS and want to help with this? Or is he just doing this to spite you? Which is a horrible tactic if it's potentially harming his son

Stepping back from this a little, has your son had any assessment for his eating? I believe that compulsive over-eating can be a psychological problem, and not just one that's in response to his brother's MH, but it can also be a genetic condition.

I've never been in your situation with my DC so can't be of more help, but I can really empathise with how you are feeling. Nothing, nothing has ever made me more angry than my DC and their behaviour . Dealing with anger in a 'normal' situation is hard enough, and I'm very ashamed of how I dealt with them in some cases, so for you it must be even harder.

So - don't be so hard on yourself. Hopefully you won't be in the same situation for long and your H will have moved out - go with the flow as much as you can until that happens.

Not sure if any of that is helpful, and I fear it's a bit clumsy, but know that you're among friends here, and you can rant and rage about anything without any of us flaying you

You are all so kind. Welling up on the train now. H isn’t doing it to spite me, he adores DS and wants him to be happy. I think he genuinely doesn’t see the issue. Ds is definitely overweight, but I guess he just looks well covered when he’s standing up. I had hoped that after Christmas it would fall off as he went back to school - he does football three x a week plus swimming and other sports.

He said why do you give me the food if it’s not healthy, I’m just a child. He also said your my mother and you say I’m fat, he was so so upset that I had called him what to him is the worst thing in the world.

I think I will have a chat with him and then back off. I just know that this is the sort of fuck up that people do remember into adulthood and I wish I could take it back.

He has always over eaten even as a toddler he didn’t really have an off switch.

Oh @Almahart

I don’t know if this helps, but I’ve been the child who’s mum told her she was fat aged 9, and unlike you my mum’s comment came from a place of shame and anger with a ‘why can’t you be like my friends thin kids’ instead of from the place of love and concern that your comment clearly comes from.

The worst thing you could do now is pretend it never happened and bulldoze past it. I’ll tell you what I wish my mum had done:

Go and have a sit down and serious chat with him. Apologise for what you said and explain that you were angry and your words were not ok, but also that you’re concerned about his weight and want to help him overcome it. Come up with a plan together on how to tackle it, and reinforce that anyone not supportive of his efforts doesn’t have his best interests at heart. Cuddle and move on, he’ll be absolutely fine

Is anyone able to have a look at my weight loss chart for me? Does it look average (allowing for a bumpy week). I've been hovering around 185 for what feels like ages and wondering if that's too be expected or if I need to make some changes? Thanks

Thanks @Teapotdespot that is brilliant advice. What do you think about a letter? Too much?

He said why do you give me the food if it’s not healthy, I’m just a child.

Oh, Alma, to you for feeling terrible, but I do love your DS2's logic!

Like teapot I had negative comments from 'disgusted' parents when I went through a podgy stage in my early teens - and with hindsight I would say the message I most wanted to hear is that you are not making a moral judgement.

I used to hear 'fat' as 'you are a substandard child and I don't love you', so perhaps try to frame it as factual stuff (certain types of food do certain things), and so not linked to him as an individual person?

You know your son best, but a letter seems a bit distant? Do you think he wouldn't react well to sitting down together?

It’s more that I want him to know how seriously I take it - letters sometimes worked for dc1. I would talk to him too

Thanks everyone, I feel like I’m hogging the thread but this is really helping