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Original poster

I don't want my baby

246 replies

probablylateagain · 24/12/2020 08:27

How can I give him away? Is there a way someone will take him today? He has everything to take with him. I don't want him. I am sick of him. He is 5 months, who do I get to take him. I can't do this anymore

OP posts:
Djouce · 24/12/2020 08:28

OP, I felt like that when my now adored eight year old was a newborn. I was looking up adoption services on the Internet at 3 am. What support do you have around you? Is there anyone who can give you a break?

SlothWithACloth · 24/12/2020 08:30

Is his dad around? Do you have any family?
Speak to someone about this.

Original poster
probablylateagain · 24/12/2020 08:33

@Djouce

OP, I felt like that when my now adored eight year old was a newborn. I was looking up adoption services on the Internet at 3 am. What support do you have around you? Is there anyone who can give you a break?
I'm in lockdown spending Christmas on my own with him. Well him and my dog. My dog is hiding because he is scared of him because he is screaming. Again. He's been awake since 2am and sleeping on and off and screaming since 6. Before that he slept 9:30-12pm.
OP posts:
Original poster
probablylateagain · 24/12/2020 08:34

@SlothWithACloth

Is his dad around? Do you have any family? Speak to someone about this.
He's not able to help and doesn't like me to talk about struggling with him. Says I shouldn't say anything bad about him. I'm not close with my family
OP posts:
TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 24/12/2020 08:35

Has something happened to make you feel this way? You can speak to social services, but no idea how helpful they will be on Christmas eve.
I have a friend who did this. Her son was put into foster care. She then changed her mind and then had a real fight to get him back :(

Thegrinchshorriblesister · 24/12/2020 08:37

Can you put him in his pram and take him out only to stop the crying so you can think. It’s really really hard when your baby doesn’t sleep. Sleep deprivation is torture.

You maybe in lockdown but this really is the time you can reach out to some one OP. Where are you?

Djouce · 24/12/2020 08:37

You poor thing. That is objectively tough by any standards, and I feel total fellow-feeling. The sleeplessness and screaming are appalling. Don’t make any big decisions in this state — are you able to go out for a walk, or are you confined to the house. Sometimes that lulled DS off for an hour or two, and I would sneak home, leave him in his pram in a cool part of the house and nap? Can you call a friend or family member? Do you have a sympathetic GP or HV?

Original poster
probablylateagain · 24/12/2020 08:38

@TheFormerPorpentinaScamander

Has something happened to make you feel this way? You can speak to social services, but no idea how helpful they will be on Christmas eve. I have a friend who did this. Her son was put into foster care. She then changed her mind and then had a real fight to get him back :(
Yes 5 months of relentless crying and fussing, alone day in day out with a baby who doesn't even seem to like me. Nowhere to go, nothing to do. He sleeps for 30 minutes at a time and constantly makes unhappy sounds.
OP posts:
Original poster
probablylateagain · 24/12/2020 08:38

@Thegrinchshorriblesister

Can you put him in his pram and take him out only to stop the crying so you can think. It’s really really hard when your baby doesn’t sleep. Sleep deprivation is torture.

You maybe in lockdown but this really is the time you can reach out to some one OP. Where are you?

He doesn't sleep in the pram
OP posts:
Original poster
probablylateagain · 24/12/2020 08:40

@Djouce

You poor thing. That is objectively tough by any standards, and I feel total fellow-feeling. The sleeplessness and screaming are appalling. Don’t make any big decisions in this state — are you able to go out for a walk, or are you confined to the house. Sometimes that lulled DS off for an hour or two, and I would sneak home, leave him in his pram in a cool part of the house and nap? Can you call a friend or family member? Do you have a sympathetic GP or HV?
I asked for my GP to call me weeks ago, they never returned the call. I don't know who my health visitor is. Met her once after he was a week old and she told me she was leaving her role. Not heard anything since.
OP posts:
Chocolate4me · 24/12/2020 08:40

This is a massive decision, get some immediate support now, form a support bubble with someone. Do you have a home start charity close by? Call your dr/health visitor, could anti depressants help perhaps?
It's a tough age but they do become more independent and enjoyable, perhaps a social worker can offer you support which I presume you can ask your Dr about?
Perhaps there is a volunteer centre near by that can find you a volunteer to help.... You also need to have an honest discussion with the Dad, really let him know you are struggling and he gets involved now or never.
I'm sorry you're struggling, alone with a screaming child in the early hours or when feeling worn out is torture

Santaisironingwrappingpaper · 24/12/2020 08:41

I saw GP about sleep training.. Told the receptionist I would leave ds on the foyer if she had no appointments. Honestly op we have all been there. Maybe now is a good time to reach out to your family? No shame in asking for help. Babies are tough without support..

Chocolate4me · 24/12/2020 08:41

Google your local health visitor centre and they will get someone else for you also

Buntingandbuttons · 24/12/2020 08:41

Where a ours are you Op? There might be some of us local who can help.

nevernotstruggling · 24/12/2020 08:42

Please call health visiting services. Just google health visitor your town and find the office number. If you can't call your local children's centre they have outreach services.
You can call ss they will signpost also. Please call someone x

Thegrinchshorriblesister · 24/12/2020 08:42

He doesn't sleep in the pram

He might do if he’s been up all night. Even if he is awake it might give your ears a break and you’ll get some fresh air, might clear your head.

Could he be ill? Have reflux? Be in pain?

110APiccadilly · 24/12/2020 08:44

Have you got a friend who can help? If you're in England, you can form a support bubble with someone even in lockdown if you have a child under one. And the reason for that is that babies are really hard work and tend not to let you sleep!

If you haven't got a friend who can come and help, have you tried talking to the health visitor? You can ring the health visitor if not and say you're not coping. They might be able to help.

FabulousIAm · 24/12/2020 08:44

Go the the hospital as soon as you can - both you and the baby need help whether that be for something physical for the baby or for your mental health. It could well be that your baby is has a undetected health condition which is making him cry all the time. He could be autistic and therefore sensitive to the clothing he is wearing or sounds. You should be able to contact your Health Visitor at the very least. Do get help and do talk to a professional as soon as possible - this is your responsibility to your child and responsibility to yourself. You will feel so much better once you talk to someone who can help. You aren't alone, there are professionals who can help. Please do reach out. These months can be very difficult, especially during the pandemic and you are right to reach out here. Make sure you insist on the baby being properly looked over and be honest about your stress and how you're feeling. Massive hugs to you and please do get the help that is out there. You deserve to feel better about things as does your son.

missyB1 · 24/12/2020 08:44

Please give this charity a call.
www.cry-sis.org.uk/

You need support. Your baby does love you and you will get through this I promise Flowers

Freysimo · 24/12/2020 08:46

I know how you feel. My baby never slept for more than two hours at a time. I cared for him, but felt no real love until he was about six months old. I was exhausted and depressed and I had a partner! I can't imagine how hard it is for you trying to cope alone.

Please seek help, don't be ashamed or proud. Lots of mums feel like you.

110APiccadilly · 24/12/2020 08:47

Cross-post, missed that you don't have access to a health visitor right now. You could try looking online to see if you can get a number for health visitor team for your area.

You might be able to refer yourself to social services? Sounds a bit drastic, but they are there to help.

DeeDimer · 24/12/2020 08:48

Sweetheart I've been where you are. When my youngest was 5 months old (and my DD only a year older) I suddenly had the brainwave to ring social services to ask them to take the DC away. They'd be much better off without me.
Within seconds my brain kicked in and I realised things weren't well. I got to the GP and was very quickly diagnosed with PND (probably bordering on acute). Meds started, support kicked in and things slowly got better.
Please please ring your Health Visitor, GP anyone you know NOW to say you aren't coping. It's not an admission of failure. Having a baby especially on your own is shit. And these small things never come with a manual.
And yes, the collective viper nest will help you. Things will get better.

midnightstar66 · 24/12/2020 08:49

Speak to the dr ASAP. It sounds like you need a bit of help for PND and that your baby could have reflux which can be treated. Also say what you like to baby's dad. Who cares if he doesn't like it. If he's not prepared to step up the least he can do is listen.

Littleyell · 24/12/2020 08:50

@Thegrinchshorriblesister

Can you put him in his pram and take him out only to stop the crying so you can think. It’s really really hard when your baby doesn’t sleep. Sleep deprivation is torture.

You maybe in lockdown but this really is the time you can reach out to some one OP. Where are you?

Good idea. Sorry to hear this. Taking the baby out is a really good idea.
Ffsffsffsffsffs · 24/12/2020 08:55

OP I really feel for you.

I remember gazing at my (finally) soundly sleeping baby ds when he was about 8 months old and saying 'I love you' to him. And rather than it just being words that I'd been saying for 8 months, it hit me that I actually did love him after all - after the hell of sleeplessness, of reflux and colic, of pnd, of zero family support or help from exdh.

Please call the cry-sis number, or the GP, or as pp said, get yourself to the surgery or A&E this morning. There is support for you, you can and should access it (though I fully appreciate reaching out to strangers feels impossible right now)