I don't want my baby

[probablylateagain]

How can I give him away? Is there a way someone will take him today? He has everything to take with him. I don't want him. I am sick of him. He is 5 months, who do I get to take him. I can't do this anymore

Amazing update keep in touch op

Glad to hear you are ok OP. Merry Christmas xx

Merry Christmas OP. I hope you have a good day.

Merry Christmas OP

Merry Christmas OP. I hope you have a lovely day

Merry christmas OP - i hope you get some much needed rest and TLC over the next couple of days 🎄🎄

You sound bloody lovely OP, I'm so glad you've got a plan in place and loving people around you. I hope you can have some nice times today and some laughs too - thinking of you

Merry Christmas op, best of luck in the new year, keep talking xx you're doing really well xxx

Hi everyone. I am feeling a lot more clear headed now. I am at home alone again but this is what is best. I am going to accept all the help I can but am hoping for some advice as my head just isn't with it.
My ex partner and his brother are now living together.
On the face of it his brother is lovely and very soft spoken etc.
They have always been very close and prior to having the baby I didn’t spend a lot of in depth time with him but had regular contact and he always seemed a nice guy, mid 40s and single, never married but seemed to have chosen that.
Fast forward to now. Every word out of his mouth is about conspiracy theories. From coronavirus being about nanotechnology that will change our DNA to the royal family being lizards !?!? David Iyke is law and TV is brain in washing for the masses and he only watches alternative media. My ex agrees that he may be spending too much time on this but completely agrees with him!?!?
He has constant opinions about my child (shouldn’t go to school, caused a massive rift over me vaccinating my child.... a lot of this kind of thing)
Prior to having my baby, my relationship with ex was good and our values seemed to very much align.
When my baby was weeks old his brother started to tell him that he ‘wasn’t going g to be there for him anymore if he didn’t make time for him’ and was pressuring my ex partner to go and stay there for a few days when I had a very newborn baby, which I put my foot down to and said no, you need to be here i have a ten day old. That was the beginning of the end really as I just couldn’t believe he thought that was reasonable. This was not like him.
I feel like I am going mad... I have 2 men constantly telling me that I am some drone being controlled and the my child needs to do x y z.
I am worried about the impact these views could have on him as he grows.
They are very much a pair now abs plan on living together long term, they also own a business together.
Am I being dramatic? Is this harmful?
I am so worried.
My head isn’t in a good place but honestly this is cussing me so much stress.
He seems so nice but scratch the surface and it’s awful. They are saying the can take my baby for a few days so I can have a rest but I just don’t think I can trust them.
They stay up until 3/4am every night now.
He watched the baby once whist I nipped to the shop in the evening. After his bath just until he went to bed, when I go back he was blasting ‘house’ music. For ‘atmosphere’ for the baby. He slams doors whilst the baby naps and does things like put his cats food on top of the baby steriliser ?!
The only these 2 are the only support I really have and I know it’s his dad and uncle but I feel like my ex may have something wrong with him, it’s like they’ve joined a cult.
When I am struggling so much I can’t deal with this. My ex is on the birth certificate and I am not someone who doesn’t think a dad he rights but honestly they come as a pair it seems and my ex sees no wrong in him and that they know what's best for the baby over me. Honestly neither of them have a clue, and that's coming from me who wrote this post last week!
Any similar experience or advice would be really appreciated

We've been there OP. I remember walking into my health centre when ds was 6 months old in tears and begging for help. I was on my knees with him fussing and crying constantly. It felt like such a dark place.

I can't imagine what you must feel like during a pandemic with no support. But it is out there. We just need to help you find it's seems dark now, but it won't always feel like this. Please contact some of the organisations that have been suggested. Call your gps / health visitor and say how bad it is. Don't give up until you have some support in place.

I'm sorry to hear so many services have failed you. Which area are you in? I found my local Surestart centre the best help, my dd had reflux and constantly screamed, it does get better.

I've just seen your update OP. It sounds like you are between a rock and a hard place. I wouldnt feel comfortable with them taking the baby for a few days either. Even if they took perfect care of the baby you wouldnt be able to relax so it would be pointless.
I really dont have much advice or know how you can change someone's views when they are that far down the rabbit hole. On one level I dont think those opinions (bar the vaccination ones) would be harmful to the baby as they are too small to be influenced and I would have said if they were sensible in all other aspects and could ensure babys wellbeing then I would leave it as a battle to fight another day when you are feeling a bit better.
However when you mentioned the strange behaviour when minding the baby that doesnt sit right with me. My DH can do silly things but once I point it out to him he adjusts. But it sounds like if they are both so entrenched in conspiracy theories they arent going to listen to sense when it comes to looking after baby. Neither sound like they respect your opinion which is worrying too.
I would try to speak to your exDP alone if you can. Or ensure he is present during the next healthcare visit for baby and let the professionals do the talking for you. I bet they have come across similar ideas and know how to better counteract them.

I wouldn’t think that was a reason for him to not have contact? My sister believes in all the conspiracy theories but she is not a danger to children in any way. People have different beliefs

@Givemeabreak88

I wouldn’t think that was a reason for him to not have contact? My sister believes in all the conspiracy theories but she is not a danger to children in any way. People have different beliefs

I never said anything about stopping contact. I asked that here as it had been full of people who had a lot of experience and good advice.

@probablylateagain, I’m going through the same thing with my baby’s dad. She’s 12 months old and he’s obsessed with all this Q anon stuff. It’s not surprising this is affecting your mental health - it affects mine too.

People have advised me that those who get caught up in conspiracy theories in a life changing way often have undiagnosed personality disorders. When I look at my dp, I can see there have been plenty of prior signs of his tendencies.

Hey hun,

God my heart hurts for you, Evans do know as your thinking it your feeling guilty.

I'm no judger I struggled really bad.

I often type in hashtags on Instagram and read related context on mum blogs so much out there frank honest feelings you can relate to

Iv actually just set up a blog because I found it really good way to get things of my chest as a blogger than on
Personal socials. @workingmum101 is my Instagram Username you can absolutely pop me message and have private convo xxx

[quote SugarbabyMilly]@probablylateagain, I’m going through the same thing with my baby’s dad. She’s 12 months old and he’s obsessed with all this Q anon stuff. It’s not surprising this is affecting your mental health - it affects mine too.

People have advised me that those who get caught up in conspiracy theories in a life changing way often have undiagnosed personality disorders. When I look at my dp, I can see there have been plenty of prior signs of his tendencies.[/quote]
That sounds so hard. It isn't so much his dad, it's more his uncle, who is the main support I have. However his dad agrees with the uncle. I don't care about people having different perspectives but it's bordering obsession and he was very angry over me getting him vaccinated as a newborn.
My main worry it that in accepting his help (him watching baby whilst I nap every now and again) he seems to think he has the right to make decisions about my sons health, medicine use, schooling etc etc. And I'm in a place where I really needed the support but may be better off without it. Also I don't really want my child going around telling people that the queen is a lizard when he is older or that Donald trump is the world saviour etc etc, and I don't want to wait until it's too late to pull the plug on this? I just don't know what to do really. Hope you manage to get things sorted

@probablylateagain I think you need to triage the situation. Which is the more pressing concern? The dads and uncles views? Or you not being able to get some respite? Long term the views and attitudes they have are not healthy. I'm all for respecting others opinions but lizard people,no.
Get some rest, a shower etc.. get yourself into a position where you can reach out further afield for support. I wouldnt feel comfortable with several days away in their own home, but within your own home where you can relax knowing you control the environment is better.
On the other hand you also need to consider how pushy or ignorant they are towards what you want for the baby and if that balances out getting some rest. If you feel that would just add another mental load onto you then try avoid them providing too much support as it's not worth it.
It's an impossible situation OP so my empathy is with you. But you have proven to get through difficult situations so this will be no different

That sounds really difficult. I can definitely understand why you're concerned. I wouldn't be leaving the baby with them if they feeling blasting loud music is good for a baby. The uncle sounds like a bit of a lunatic. Would you be able to relax while they were looking after baby? If not, it isn't really much of a rest for you anyway. I would speak to your health visitor about your concerns and see what they suggest, although HVs can be a bit hit or miss with how useful they are.
If you're around South Manchester, I'm usually free for meet ups at parks and things. Sometimes just getting out of the house and seeing another adult can feel like a rest, and takes up a lot of the day so it's less like groundhog day.
On a positive note, you sound a lot better than when you first posted here! It sounds like you've already made some great progress so well done.

How are things OP? I was in a similar situation with my DD with the constant need to be held and only sleeping in short bursts. She's 19 months now and it has got a lot easier. She has always been more settled when we do long walks during the day. It's so hard when the people who are meant to be helpful and supportive are not. I know that when you're in the midst of it it is hard to see a way out, but just now that time will be your way at as your baby grows, develops and he will sleep, even if it doesn't seem like it now. Wishing you better times ahead. Xx