I don't want my baby

[probablylateagain]

How can I give him away? Is there a way someone will take him today? He has everything to take with him. I don't want him. I am sick of him. He is 5 months, who do I get to take him. I can't do this anymore

Just want to second what @Pregnancyhell said. Ime SS view asking for support favourably - I'm in the middle of being approved as a foster carer (fingers crossed) and during my initial assessment I was told that asking for help and engaging with SS when I was struggling was one of the reasons they thought I'd make a good FC.

I guess they knew that I was honest and could recognise when thing had gone to shit 😂

Well done OP. So glad you are with supportive and kind people. Best wishes for Christmas and the New Year.

OP glad you're getting some support. I don't envy anyone having a baby in lockdown.

Have you tried baby rice? Mine were on rice and porridge by that age. He might be hungry. They also had Hungry Baby Milk at bedtime

I think you should ask about suitable routine / sleep training.

You're your baby's world - you just need more support. I think baby's Dad needs to step up! I know also of people who were struggling who got a few hours funded childcare. So might be just day a week or couple of mornings - but it's better than having baby in foster care. So some councils will offer this I think.

Wonderful update op

Well done OP, so glad you have someone with you. This is the turning point - your friends and family will help you get the support you need.
As others have said, make sure you make the GP or health visitor really listen. I would advise taking a friend or relative with you to the appointment.
Please ask any questions you have about CMPA and other allergies and reflux - I went through absolute hell with my first and it can be a long road but I promise you will turn a corner.

Well done for getting support. Things will get better. Have a peaceful Christmas.

I wanted to say I've been there. Youngest DD 6 years ago -breast fed until it was just blood. Tried for months then Topped up with formula -but he didn't sleep for more than 20 minutes for the first 8 weeks. I too was a lone parent -ex also gave me grief. DS didn't sleep properly until he was 4 years and still at 6 wakes up and comes in to me in the night. He screamed constantly, also always, wet, constipated, and so full onc24/7 -literally there was a day I walked out and left him and drove off -he was in his cot. But I just couldn't do it. HV useless, his father was worse. OMG it was awful. I really wanted to die.

Everyone had ideas, formula, baths, drive him around -oh dear god nothing worked.
When he was 2 I found out he was 80% deaf =by that point, he had been in A&E will spiking a temp of 41 about 20 times with ear infections. All that time, looking back he was in pain with his ears -nothing I could do or help with. Now he is older, he can tell me, mummy my ears are sore -even though he doesn't look it -etc calpol just makes him ok again and he will take my hands and put them over his ears as warmth helps. But he will just stop responding verbally and I know the deafness is back before he gets a temperature etc or needs antibitiocs.

Get anyone to help you so you can sleep. Feed, change -put him down for a nap on you. If needs be -mine only would sleep on me in a certain position -me uprights, and I couldn't sleep like that. You are not alone -I promise you. DS is delightful and amazing now!

OP this sounds drastic but if he's FF and youre really feeling this bad, just take him to his dad and leave him there for a few days.

Oh, well done, OP! Hopefully, this is the start of a new chapter.

I'm glad you have some support now OP, not only were the concerns for baby, but for you too. Keep on talking to others and lean on anyone that can help, hope you have a good Christmas

I hope you have a restful Christmas OP. Sleep deprivation is literal torture. Best of luck

I'm not very up on the various rules as they've changed so often, but I've just read this article and thought of you in case you didn't know that you are allowed to bubble with another household if you have a baby under 1. I know you said you didn't want to impose on anyone or drag your friends into it, but dire straits deserve considering things you wouldn't normally.
metro-co-uk.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/metro.co.uk/2020/12/23/tier-four-loophole-means-boris-can-spend-christmas-with-his-family-13797364/amp/?amp_js_v=a6&amp_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQFKAGwASA%3D#csi=0&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fmetro.co.uk%2F2020%2F12%2F23%2Ftier-four-loophole-means-boris-can-spend-christmas-with-his-family-13797364%2F

OP that's brilliant. Well done. Hope you get the rest you need and the support and help you deserve. We are all here for you.

If you ever want someone to come and sit with you for half an hour and make a brew and take a turn at entertaining him, I'm in Manchester and would happily come and help.

If you're looking into CMPA, you may find this Facebook group for CMPA informative / a good source of support:

www.facebook.com/groups/Allergy.diet

Sending you so many virtual hugs OP. It is SO hard especially with a baby that just won't sleep. I can assure you that you do want your baby, you're just totally depleted and exhausted! Keep reaching out as much as you can. And make a little list of all the things people have suggested to investigate, and eliminate them one by one with a gp - ear infection, cmpa, reflux, teething... It feels like an endless list of things to investigate but you'll at least feel you are doing something!
My last piece of advice.. try this video, I used it on my phone and TV and baby seemed mesmerised for at least a few mins! This or anything by Little Baby Bum on YouTube! You will be ok.

Just after reading your update and I am so so glad to hear you have reached out to someone. You are doing amazing. Keep chatting on here, vent and say what you need to say.
I also second @Caneloalvarez youtube recommendation. It sometimes works with my LO, he has fallen asleep once or twice to that video. Some days he wasnt interested but when it worked it gave me a little bit of head space.

I've been thinking about you all evening OP. I'm so happy to read your update and I'm glad that you're in a better place. You're doing an amazing job. Sending you a virtual hug.

Happy to see your update. In fact really happy to see your update x

Thinking of you OP, there is always hope, your baby is so young and this will pass, until it does STRENGTH to you , I wish you a peaceful Christmas

I'm in st Anne's if I can help in anyway?!

Bloody hell I feel for you.

I had the most helpful Oh going, was a teacher, blah blah

The first year with my first was a nightmare. He was the most moany baby in the world- every hour felt like a day.

Please hang in there. Do anything to get through. My lb is 6 now, and the sweetest thing in the world. I hear you, mine didn't seem to know I was anyone special till at least two. He was high needs, needed so much cuddles, rocking, attention and never seemed happy.

Your lb does love you. I have three kids now, and he has been by far the hardest and yet now is the most fun and loving.

Please hang in there. It does get easier, I promise. Some kids just arent good at being babies! They get easier with every new thing they can do. You sound like a great mum.

Hey there, I spotted this thread earlier in the day but I was at work and did't get a chance to read it properly. I'm so sorry that you've been let down so much by HCPs in the past. I can't imagine how much more difficult that makes things. I'm really glad that you've managed to reach out to friends/family though.

I'm not surprised that you were at the end of your tether! It's such a hard job being a parent and the early months can be bloody difficult. I'm a single parent. My eldest was a very easy baby/toddler (I was a single parent then). When my youngest was born (I was married at this point), I thought that it would be as easy...what a fool I was to think that!! She had tongue tie (sorted out when she was 10 days old) which made BFing bloody painful. She couldn't be put down/laid flat as she'd cry/scream. She didn't sleep properly. She couldn't even sit in a bouncer chair or car seat (neither were upright enough) - she had to be held upright (so I had her in a wrap most of the time). Turns out she had reflux. GP put her on meds for it and it slowly got better. But my God, it was effing hard work and completely ground me down. The meds from the GP, a good baby wrap/sling, and sleep training saved my sanity, and got my DD onto a more even keel.

If you were my mate, I wouldn't hesitate in offering help. I'd be so happy that you trusted me enough to come to me for help, and I'd be pleased to do what I could to help. Years back, one of my friends was in a real pickle with things and reached out for help: so I headed over, cleaned/tidied her place top to bottom, managed to get her washing machine fixed, helped her catch up on laundry/ironing/paperwork/life admin, batch cooked a load of meals for her and her children (enough to fill her freezer)....and looked after her kids whilst she had a proper rest and some time to herself. Sounds like silly stuff, but for her it was like a reset button and it meant that the mental load was taken off her for a while.

I really hope that you and your little one have a lovely and peaceful first Christmas together and that you get the support and help you need. I wish I was closer. Wishing you all the best x

Op you’re in such a difficult position and it’s not been helped by covid.

All I would advise is that you reach out to as many people as possible. Friends, professionals, family and directly ask for help with your son and yourself

I know you’re in the thick of it now. It’s at its worst. I promise it does get better and eventually you will find that there’s a lot you enjoy and love about being a parent. This will take time though.

I found those baby years a nightmare with my middle child and there was no covid, a supportive ex and baby groups. It does get better I promise.