...and excluded my DS1. It's even worse as the timing falls over when DS makes one of his regular trips to see them - he has always seen them the week over NY. Not this year as they are going on holiday without him.
They (ex, wife, their two kids) are going ski-ing. DS1 loves ski-ing a lot. We could not afford to go last year. Ex knows this. Luckily we may be able to go this year - but that is not the point...the point is they keep banging on about him being part of their family but their actions exclude him. Ex did not even have the balls to tell him as when I asked him what he said when they told him, he said they didn't but 'littlest sibling' told him.
It messes with his head. He said his dad was lovely driving him home and he clearly feels warmth and love. But he cannot ask a simple question or challenge anything. I can't imagine the amount he would kick off if we ever went on holiday without him (not that we would!).
He's just back from his half-term trip - the air-bed he had in the room of his 6.5+yrs younger was upgraded to a sofa bed in the lounge, which he found more comfortable but still no space of his own. There is another bedroom - but it is sacred as it is a 'study'!!
Why, why, why is there so little effort from them to make him welcome? Do they not read any of the basic tips on making a non-resident child feel at home? And yet so much anger from them when he doesn't want to come and an unsaid constant implication that it is me that influences him not to!