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Pamela - Bile Duct Cancer, thread 4, London has given me a chance!

1000 replies

WilsonMilson · 08/07/2023 13:35

New thread as I see the old one is about the run out.

OP posts:
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VariantHela · 12/07/2023 13:06

You absolutely can do this, you are so strong!!

Enforceddrysummer · 12/07/2023 13:06

I love that you have painted your toenails! I'm waiting under the two week referral and cannot concentrate long enough to do that!

LadyMary50 · 12/07/2023 13:07

Hello Pamela,I have been reading all your posts but haven’t as yet commented.I find it heartbreaking you are such a beautiful and astoundingly brave woman.The way you always find strength to carry on through the pain and distress.You are inspiring so many people who also have cancer.You are a Shield Maiden,strong and fierce fighting an invisible enemy with tenacity and dignity.
Strength and love and prayers to you and your family
💕💐Irene Xxxxx

Threetoedsloth · 12/07/2023 13:14

On you go Pamela with your lovely pink sliders and fab blue toes. We are all willing you through this. x

loobylou10 · 12/07/2023 13:15

Well done lady! I am in awe of your courage x

Tessi · 12/07/2023 13:16

What a change from this morning in terms of pain levels. You are doing great and I love the M&S sliders!

catwithflowers · 12/07/2023 13:19

Bless you sweetheart. Hope, love and faith, as always ♥️♥️♥️

whatwasIgoingtosay · 12/07/2023 13:20

Good luck and all the very best! Flowers

TightPants · 12/07/2023 13:21

I’m in awe of you Pamela, you are such a warrior xx

catsandkid · 12/07/2023 13:21

So so pleased to read your latest update. When I checked your posts earlier this morning I felt so very sorry for you and all you're enduring. It's a tough crappy ride BUT as hard as it is to keep going, you know youre doing it for the right reasons (Kerr, Jacob, your mum and all those who love uou).

Be open and honest with the pain team - it's what they're there for and they can help you. Tbh I had oramorph after my c-sec and my pain wasn't anything like youre going through and it did practically nothing for me! So defo push for something more long lasting and effective. Speak to them about the times your pain breaks through mostly - once you have breakthrough pain it can be so much harder to get back to comfort levels. The aim for the team will be to find you some consistent pain relief and comfort.

Best of luck for the chemo today. You can do this Pamela!

ohyouknowwhatshername · 12/07/2023 13:23

You are amazing Pamela ❤️ Sending you prayers, love and strength x

UniversalAunt · 12/07/2023 13:24

Hi Pamela,

Hang in there, we are all cheering you on.
The middle hours of the night can be the hardest when so much is at stake & you are in pain.

So you have been moved to the 5th floor of the BigWhiteBrick on Euston Road? If you are very bored or just need a change of scene, the view from the 10th floor lift lobby has plenty of sky & views of the BT Tower. My mum was a frequent flyer on the 10th floor.

Nice sliders - Barbie pink, so on trend - & such cute toes.

herbetta · 12/07/2023 13:25

By god, you're amazing ❤️ youve found strength you didnt know you had - each of your posts brings me to tears in the tea room at work.

When you have your chemo try to imagine & visualise that it is kicking the absolute sh1t out of your tumours and literally starting to dissolve & shrink them away xx

Skyrmion · 12/07/2023 13:26

So glad to hear you’re feeling a bit better, pain wise. All the best now, may the chemo do its job in a swift manner! Your strength is admirable, Pamela.
Sending love and light from Galway. 🌺🌸🌼

DollieBantrysPantry · 12/07/2023 13:26

Late to catching up with your news today and it was the first thing I did when I got the chance, was so sorry to read the first update but then so relieved to read the second and that you are having the chemo, go warrior girl 💪 we are all behind you wishing you well 💕 💕💕

sweetgingercat · 12/07/2023 13:27

Brilliant Pamela!, you are so strong, and it's so inspiring. Every time I read a post when you are suffering, in pain, unsure and I think (probably with loads of others of us) 'oh no' you come back with another message and you're all glorious and fighty and I think how fabulous and fiesty you are! Keep on going you fantastic female!

everythingissoexpensivenow · 12/07/2023 13:27

Wishing you all the luck in the world for today and strength and peace for you and Kerr to get through it. xx

Floralnomad · 12/07/2023 13:28

Hope it goes well today , as you say you really have nothing to lose so have to plough on . Perhaps try taking cat naps during the day and night instead of trying to actually go to sleep , it might help .

WilsonMilson · 12/07/2023 13:28

I would also like to shout out to Kerr too -he went through total hell last night with me and it must be so awful to feel entirely powerless and watch the person you love suffer so much. I joked with him, that if I don’t make it, I’m sure many single ladies of mumsnet will be forming an orderly queue. You’ve got to laugh!

He’s with me now. Have to say, I struck gold when I met this man. I feel incredibly lucky to have such a loving and supportive marriage. I couldn’t have done any of this without him and his unwavering support. You know you’re loved when your poor husband is giving you a bed bath and holding your drain bag while you pee!

Jacob’s still at home with mum just now, we thought it best that I got my first chemo in. There’s also been a fair amount of bad moments I would rather they didn’t see. Also some logistical problems with mum’s mobility, accommodation and getting them round London to visit me when I am still in hospital, my mum’s in her 70’s and I have to be mindful of that. So seemed like an extra stress for all. It should be easier when I’m an out patient and we can organise something local for them beside my friend as it’s just not going to work well otherwise.

Anyway, all hooked up now for next few hours. They keep telling me about how sick I’m going to feel which is something I don’t want to contemplate, but as long as this massive tumour (and the smaller ones) shrinks and hopefully completely dies. Keep imagining it like an alien inside me, Sigourney Weaver style. Can’t wait to slay it!!

Anyway, here we are, always together in faith, hope and love ❤️

Thanks for all your posts, I’m about to read all the latest now. You again, keep me moving ahead. Keep me sane at times actually. Pics so lovely, your thoughts and cares truly make me feel less alone in the world. It’s such an isolating journey and you this community is so wonderful. I hope whoever else on here who may be going through a difficult time for whatever reason also takes heart and faith in the goodness of life and people.

Pamela - Bile Duct Cancer, thread 4, London has given me a chance!
OP posts:
OhFFS! · 12/07/2023 13:32

What a lovely photo of you both

catwithflowers · 12/07/2023 13:34

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Glorieta · 12/07/2023 13:34

Hi beautiful Pamela and amazing Kerr
I've been lurking on all your other threads but your last post and pic with Kerr just took my breath away and brought a few tears.

Your grace, calmness and tenacity are shining through and are a lesson for us all.

Stay resolute and know that you have an army of mumsnetters all over the globe holding your hand.

Much love from Madrid

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 12/07/2023 13:34

Bless you love, sending positive thoughts and picturing that little b***d shrinking right now.

Constantquandries · 12/07/2023 13:34

Hi Pamela, I have been lurking from the start and your journey has touched me on so many levels.
My beloved dad was diagnosed with cancer. That evening he gave me a massive hug, and in reality that was the last proper moment with my dad. He gave up the next day withdrew from all of us (didn’t want conversation or even us around him) and died 4 weeks after diagnosis (before it had been staged or treatment discussed).
12 years later I still think about that last hug and have lingering sadness that he never put up a fight. I’m not saying that he would have definitely beat cancer but we could still have had some more time to make even more memories.
I guess what I am saying Pamela is that, even when it is unbearable, your fight is the biggest gift you can give to Kerr and Jacob. Keep fighting.
I am a very strong believer that we all have a say in when it is our time to go and it is most certainly not your time. Your strength, spirit and the overwhelming love you have for and from so many people will see you through this.
you remain in my thoughts and prayers x

Claricethecat45 · 12/07/2023 13:36

Beautiful picture Pamela....and Kerr...you are just a Hero :) Wish you well today, Pamela, you are a complete diamond, so brave, so strong and I just know already that your unwelcome guest hasn't got the faintest idea what its up against!!! Go slay it Pamela; I'm still here waiting with you and clapping you on...Much love to you and Kerr today XX

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