Pamela - Bile Duct Cancer, thread 4, London has given me a chance!

[WilsonMilson]

New thread as I see the old one is about the run out.

Maybe mention amitryptaline to the pain team when you get to speak to them love.

I have taken them in the past for severe nerve pain, they really do help with sleep and anxiety too xx

So glad you're there and that your pain is down a few notches. You can do this.

And done it you have! Well done for getting there, your strength is inspiring. Onwards and upwards Pamela, faith, hope and love x

You’re AMAZING, Pamela. Keep going. We’re all here.

Hello there. I've been lurking since your very first post. Everyone else seemed to have just the right thing to say, and I thought you would have enough to deal with, and enough posts to read, without me joining in. So why now? Because in your last photo you are wearing the same pj bottoms as I have! (Me, shallow, much?) However, to be serious, I think you are an absolute heroine going through this, and all these dark nights you are suffering. You are so eloquent about your sufferings, that and your honesty, are what I think is resonating with people so much. Plus your bravery too of course. I think about you often, and I will lurk no longer. With zillions of good wishes for you and your family. x

Very glad your pain is better. Willing the chemo to do its job.

You said at the beginning London was giving you a chance, and now at the end of this thread you are still seizing it. Good on you. Onwards is the way.

Pamela you are so incredibly brave. You are doing absolutely amazing. What an achievement to make it to chemo. Faith, love and hope x

Having read you first message this morning and now caught up with the latest, your strength is unbelievable. Big shout out to Kerr too as it is horrendous looking on when there is nothing you can do.

You both blow me away.

A true Warrior, you get knocked down but grab your stake put it in the ground and get back up again. What an incredible fighting spirit you have.
Hoping so much that today and tonight will be better for you. Sending love as always ❤️

Hope the chemo will help. It's worth a shot anyway. After first one you have much more idea what it's like and there are loads of meds to stop sickness and reduce pain.

Pamela you are so brave. I am so sorry for the terrible agony you have been in and hope the day continues to brighten for you.

I LOVE those pink sliders! Might have to buy some myself now. Your ankles look great! Very glad to hear that your pain is now manageable and hoping the first chemo session goes well for you. Your whole attitude towards your situation is absolutely amazing! You really are a true warrior. Sometimes all you need to do is take a step back and say a massive 'fuck you' to feeling like giving in to the pain and the feeling of quitting. You are brilliant!

Pamela your latest post has made my day, I am so pleased you’ve managed to get the pain down to manageable level and are ready for your chemo! I am praying every day that it is effective and that you see an improvement - you so deserve that. 💐

Just to add to my earlier post, in terms of your mental health it is a huge test of your resilience against a monumental mountain of shit, for want of a better phrase, and understandably will be having a huge impact on you mentally, I just thought I'd add alongside your faith and your own inner strength, consider looking up 'mindfulness'. This may help too.
It helped me at a very very dark time. It isn't for everyone but thought it worth mentioning in addition, and may help you to not mentally succumb to it all if you are worried ❤️

Pamela I'm.here in front of my laptop having a look at my phone and your last post brought lots of tears to my eyes. You are such an inspiration to everyone here. A real fighter. And your son and husband will never ever forget that.
All the best Pamela, I went through chemo too a few years ago and it's not nice, but with the help of meds you will be able to deal with it. I'm crossing my fingers and toes for it.
You are amazing. You really are 🌷

👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻

well done gorgeous!!

i see your ankles have gone back to normal!!

you are seizing the opportunity you came to London for - excellent news!

everything is much bleaker, painful, scarier at night. I think it's a combination of things! Feeling more vulnerable, knowing we should be sleeping etc. it's horrible being in any pain, let alone how much you have been in at night.

be brutally honest with the pain team this afternoon, they're not going to stop your chemo.

refuse to leave (unless to a hospice) until the night pain is manageable.

when is your next chemo ??

THIS THREAD IS NEARLY FULL

love & strength as always
katie
hampshire
xx

Wow, every time you have a knock back you come back stronger! And I have to say, however you're feeling, you manage to look more glam than I can ever hope to!

Praying that the despair of last night was the lowest point and that you continue to experience less pain and discomfort, and that the treatment does it's work effectively.

Amazing woman with fabulous toes x

Onwards . You show such fortitude. ☀️🌊

You're fab and I love your nail polish!! All the luck in the world for this afternoon 🙏💕 xxx

You made it! You are an absolute star x

Those nights sound intolerable. Hard not to feel you are just being tortured/experimented on and it would have been better to stay put and accept the inevitable. Except it isn't inevitable, there are stories here of people who looked and felt like they couldn't possibly survive but somehow did with chemo and I know you are enduring this for Kerr and Jacob more even than yourself. It was always the right decision to go to London and give yourself and them that chance. Maybe Prof B has seen many patients in just such a sorry way and tolerate chemo which is why he is so gung ho.

Hope the pain specialists can tweak your medication so you never have to endure that again. Sending love and constant thoughts xxx

Beautiful Pamela with blue varnished toes and a pop of pink
I'm in awe of your strength
I'm relieved for you that they are getting on top of your horrendous pain
I've taken pregabilin and found it worked like a dream They can increase the dose until you're buzzing!!
Hopefully with this cocktail of meds you will have a better night
Much love and soothing hugs
Thinking of you and Kerr constantly
Judith in Wiltshire

So pleased to see your latest update and that the pain is a bit more controlled. Hope the chemo goes well. Am in awe of your strength and resilience.x