My partner and I have 6 children between us. I have 4D from my previous relationship, he has 1S and together we share a daughter.
My oldest 2 daughters (14 and 12) have SEVERE adhd and autism and require their own bedrooms. In my partners original court order (before me) his son has to have his own room (my partner lived with his dad before he moved in with me) due to a barrage of horrible situations and circumstances we moved to our current ‘4 bed’ property in December 2024 and my stepson has had his own room whilst my younger 4 daughters have had to share.
The contact arrangements with my stepson when we moved here were that we had him every other week end and alternate holidays including half of the summer holidays.
It has now been 9 months since we last saw him. My partner has court coming up and there’s a chance the arrangements may change, they may decrease to one weekend a month!
We have just been issued a section 21 because my landlord wants to sell and due to my older girls and their needs we cannot move their schools again (they have been in 5 schools since July 2020).
we have until December to find somewhere else and cannot stay till evicted by bailiffs because temp accommodation isn’t a good idea with my older 2 and their behaviours. This is now making us desperate as the houses here go so fast. I’m looking at 3 beds with potential for a 4th in a 2nd reception room.
My partner is adamant the court will not change their mind and that no matter what his son MUST have his own room even if he is only here 2 nights a month. My 12 year old is currently sharing with her 3 younger sisters and it has not been going well. She needs her own room.
What I’m looking for is advice…am I right or wrong thinking that getting a roof over my daughters heads and wanting the older two to each have the rooms they are supposed to have (note*we get the 4 bed housing benefit allowance based on my older 2 requiring own rooms).
I’ve not been spoken to once with regards my partners ongoing case in court for contact so can’t find out any information on what is allowed and what isn’t.
I offered that maybe on the nights he is here my 12 year old can sleep in her sister’s room, one weekend a month or even 2 shouldn’t be an issue.
Or can we not get a sofa bed and he sleep on that or he have our room and we sleep on that? So long as when he is here he gets his own little space. It doesn’t have to be his when he’s not here??
If this makes sense to anyone and you can offer help or advice it would be hugely appreciated. My head is totally spinning with everything at the moment and I just need a bit of guidance in the right direction.
I also don’t want anyone to think I don’t want a room for my stepson…if I could believe me I would…it’s just not realistic in the area we are and time frame we have. The houses literally go as soon as they are listed and I have to take into consideration everyone in the household as best I can.
Thankyou.