Social sevices risk

[Helpwithsocialservices]

Hi.
My partner was charged with downloading indecent images, they were in cache files only and had viewed them by clicking on a link someone set him in a chat room. He never asked for then. He was charge for the offence.
We have a 1 year old daughter and social sevices are involved saying he is high risk and can no longer live with us. Although his court order says there is nothing legally stopping him being in the property
I stand by him and want our family back together but social sevices are being very difficult. Is there anything we can do legally that can put him back in the property? Really need some help and advice on this

What evidence do you have that he had no prior convictions for this type of behaviour?

What proof have you seen that he was sent these files in a chat room, clicked the link once only and closed the file immediately?

I assume he called the police to report this chat room?

The police experts can see how long he viewed the images for and also whether he paid for them

Consider that he is not being transparent with you as you will only hear the real facts in court

If you don’t agree to remove access to your child then yes they may commence care proceedings against your child

Best to keep him away like they have asked. DO NOT give him unsupervised access at all.

He could end up taking pics of your child and sharing them with others.

He is a wolf in sheep’s clothing

Also he’s probably gonna end up on the sex offenders register- so no play dates at your house with other kids - and once this goes public if you take him back you’ll suffer the consequences socially at least!

You need to have him move out and never have unsupervised contact with your, ir any, child, not ever, not for a moment, not even to use the loo.

If you can't or won't protect your child social services will step in to do it for you, if that means removing her from your care then so be it.

Your child is the important one not the nonce with "accidental" images.

I'm sorry, Op, you are being very naive here.

Your choice is, do you want to live with your partner or your child?

If you choose him over your daughter then you are failing to protect her, and SS can and should remove her from your care.

There is no way that what you’ve said is the full story.

Ok, so he was in a chat room, some random person posted a link. He didn't know what it was and he clicked on it and it contained CSA images. He then called the police right away to report it and this is just a formality while they investigate. He DID report it right? Because if he didn't (and I think I know the answer) then the rest of the story is a pack of lies and he is dangerous.

It’s obvious that it’s images of children. And Police found him because he was engaging at some level with others who also had images.

OP, you need to comply with SS until the matter is “cleared up” or you see that he is guilty of whatever they are charging him.

SS job is child protection. Thats what they will do. You don’t comply …. Then the child will be removed from you.

Your choice - partner or child.

I don’t believe your OH would have been prosecuted in the circumstances you describe. How did he even get caught. I think you’re downplaying the risk he poses to your child.

Ffs put your child first. Nobody get sent these pics innocently. Open your eyes.

Some creature posted csa images to mumsnet recently, some people clicked the link inadvertently. The difference is they reacted appropriately and swiftly and they were not charged, none had their own devices seized. Behind every image is a tortured child, I’m not sure what your question even is here? You do what the police and child protection tell you to do surely.

The very best thing you can do here is work with social workers - even if you don’t think he’s a risk to your DD. You have one instance to go on, social workers build relationships and police have many, many more and understand risk and patterns of behaviour in a way that you don’t, simply because you don’t have to.

Follow their guidance while he awaits trial or whatever the next step is. Firstly because you’ll be seen to work with services to protect your child, secondly because if you’re wrong about him it’s your child that pays the price and that will be unbearable.

If he’s not convicted you’ll need to consider whether he’s a risk, if he is convicted he’ll be a Schedule 1 offender and won’t be able to live in your home with your child.

If he is cleared, he can return. I am sure your partner understands this and is waiting for that to happen. Legally, he is still innocent, SS are evaluating risk and I am not sure they will have the full extent of the evidence. They will think the charge sufficient to take action and your willingness to prioritise your relationship over the safety your child (real or perceived) will be a red flag.

In due course the evidence the police have will be disclosed to him as part of the criminal proceedings. I would strongly advise you to read that. If it is as he has suggested (to the letter), then perhaps there is a future. If it isn’t, you must end this.

He was sent this for a reason, even if he’s some unlucky collateral in a complex investigation, the facts will determine that.

Be prepared for the worst.

I stand by him and want our family back together but social sevices are being very difficult. Is there anything we can do legally that can put him back in the property? Really need some help and advice on this

The other thing I’d say is that, as a social worker, if you do bring him back to your home, my next step would be to apply to court to remove your child. And I can almost guarantee the order would be granted. It’s not about being “very difficult”, it’s because until there’s a full investigation and assessment services can’t be sure your child is safe, and neither can you.

Even IF he is not guilty (which I sincerly doubt) why on earth would your risk it.
You're more concerned for him than your child and that is so frightening.
Do whatever social services say, remove him from the house permanently and only allow him access to your child when you are present.

It’s not even that, I’ve never even been presented with the opportunity to click a link that might result in me accidentally downloading even explicit adult photos.

Strange that it only happens to men isn't it.....

Gosh he has done a number on you hasn’t he.

You are not a fit mother and the child should be removed. And you should have a hard think about why you are prepared to prioritise any man and yourself over your child.

You are going to lose your child because you are believing the bullshit he’s feeding you.

OP, the police and investigative services are so overwhelmed with the number of these cases they often can't focus on the small, one-time only downloaded cases. They focus their limited resources on repeat offenders, with a high level of traffic, and people who EXCHANGE images as well.

Do you feel like you cannot find another life partner, are you worried about splitting and being able to stay where you are living? These seem like big things but are so minor compared to your child's safety.

Protect your child. I cannot say this enough. Protect your child.

This thread has knocked me sick

You sound blinkered. The police aren't catching anyone for accidentally downloading material one time. How would they even do that?

What idiot clicks on any type of link that’s been sent to them by a stranger? Best case scenario is it’s a virus and you’ve found out the worst case one. I don’t believe anyone with half a brain would open a file sent to them by a complete stranger.

Is this what happened OP??

People don't send these kind of images to randoms, they are valuable. They don't want to risk themselves getting caught by sending to randoms they don't know actually want these images.

It's shocking that you would take this risk with your daughter's safety without knowing all the evidence the police have or the prosecution case. He has been charged which means the police AND the CPS felt there was enough evidence to secure a conviction.

It may be that he is telling the truth and he never saw the images or knew what the link contained. But you will only know that after the trial is concluded.

Right now, your duty is to your daughter - the innocent child in all of his. If you won't protect her, then social services will. Your choice.

It's unlikely that he just accidentally ended up with pornographic images of minors on his computer. I'm astounded you believe it. But I suspect you want to believe it.

I work in a place where I've come into contact with paedos: and they're seriously not always these big fat sweaty 60yr old loners wearing a mac. I've met many that have 'loyal' wives (including at the expense of their children). I don't know who I despise more: the paedo or the sympathiser.

The only thing I can conclude with these women (and there's many) is that the truth is too horrifying, it's more than they dare to look at and acknowledge and deal with. So they close the door on it and decide to be ignorant and naive and sing the tune of "they've got it all wrong" because that's the only train of thought that they can cope with. But still, I have zero sympathy. Zero. (And I'm overly empathetic in general)

Your duty is to protect your child. No matter whether he would harm her or not, you don't take that risk. You get out. And you do it asap. Nobody innocent ends up with sexual child abuse images on their pc. It'll be the tip of the iceberg.

OP - I understand you are reeling and just want things to go back to normal, but you can’t move him back in until he’s found not guilty. And you have to prepare yourself for the idea he will be found guilty.

Do you have a court date yet? Do you know how long you’ve got to wait?

cooperate with SS. Remember they are not trying to punish you/your DP, they are focussed entirely on keeping your DC safe. Their priority is your dc’s wellbeing and safety, which if you think about it should put you and then on the same side.