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Original poster

Social sevices risk

156 replies

Helpwithsocialservices · 18/07/2025 07:14

Hi.
My partner was charged with downloading indecent images, they were in cache files only and had viewed them by clicking on a link someone set him in a chat room. He never asked for then. He was charge for the offence.
We have a 1 year old daughter and social sevices are involved saying he is high risk and can no longer live with us. Although his court order says there is nothing legally stopping him being in the property
I stand by him and want our family back together but social sevices are being very difficult. Is there anything we can do legally that can put him back in the property? Really need some help and advice on this

OP posts:
Decaffirst · 18/07/2025 07:16

if you aren’t making this up…. Then my god I hope Social Services remove this child from under your care

Original poster
Helpwithsocialservices · 18/07/2025 07:17

Excuse me???

OP posts:
OneSharpFinch · 18/07/2025 07:18

You need to protect your child not your partner and do everything social services say or risk losing your child.

cryinglaughing · 18/07/2025 07:18

Oh gosh.
Think about this, if you were sent a link that you either knew were indecent images, or you suspected might be, would you open it?
I am assuming the chat room he was in wasn't one discussing vintage cars or the like, it was something more unpalatable.

Why would you want someone who engages in that to live with your 1 year old daughter, you should be protecting her not offering her up like a lamb to the slaughter.

I would be prioritising my dd in this case.
Your partner has made his filthy bed, let him lie in it!

Decaffirst · 18/07/2025 07:20

Helpwithsocialservices · 18/07/2025 07:17

Excuse me???

Exactly that

I hope this child is removed from your care
her father is paedophile
her mother is blind to that and has no sense of priority

KnickerlessFlannel · 18/07/2025 07:22

Please listen to Children's Services, they will be saying this based on all of the information available to them. I cannot believe you would want a sex offender near your child to be honest. The risks are that he could abuse her which includes placing images of her online as well as the obvious abuse too. How does that sit with you??

Original poster
Helpwithsocialservices · 18/07/2025 07:22

It was in a social media forum and he did not ask for it. There was no proof or evidence that he interacted with these kind of people. He inadvertently came across this material and there was nothing previous or prior tho this on his records. The images were not visible on his phone and he was not in possession. He is a genuinely good person and yes I do stand by him!

OP posts:
KnickerlessFlannel · 18/07/2025 07:24

Helpwithsocialservices · 18/07/2025 07:22

It was in a social media forum and he did not ask for it. There was no proof or evidence that he interacted with these kind of people. He inadvertently came across this material and there was nothing previous or prior tho this on his records. The images were not visible on his phone and he was not in possession. He is a genuinely good person and yes I do stand by him!

This is so naive. The images you're talking about are secretive, valuable and expensive. No one, no one is sent them for free or at random. He's trying to groom you. Please ask for more support to understand or you are at real risk of loosing your child.

herbalteabag · 18/07/2025 07:27

I think he is lying.

NerrSnerr · 18/07/2025 07:27

What was the chat room? What was the nature of the chat?

Do the police have his devices? If so, please be prepared for them to find more.

Ahsheeit · 18/07/2025 07:27

If he's been charged, then there's enough evidence to prosecute, and I guarantee it won't just be accidental downloads - this is serious shit. He's minimising and you're being naive.

Not all perpetrators of child abuse images physically abuse children, but you cannot know who will or won't. Think on this, he's getting his kicks from images of children being sexually abused. Do you want to put your daughter in an unknown risk situation? Can you ever fully trust him not to harm her?

She is the highest priority here, and social services are very much doing their job to try and protect her. If you refuse, you could lose her. Do not put this man, who has full control over his actions, over a vulnerable child.

MNpenisadvisor · 18/07/2025 07:28

Wow. Op I have a bridge to sell you, very good price.

CinnamonBuns67 · 18/07/2025 07:29

I'm not being funny but what proof do you have that he didn't ask for them or wasn't in one of the dodgy chat rooms? You don't as I doubt you was there or that you've been shown, you will be going off his word. If he's innocent and it went down as you say his name will be cleared in court and then social services will not see him as a risk any longer. Please leave until you actually know he's innocent because honestly OP he might not be and to you really want to take the risk he might do something to your child? Send images of her to others? If the answer to any of those questions is yes OP then you don't deserve to be a mum.

Ahsheeit · 18/07/2025 07:29

Helpwithsocialservices · 18/07/2025 07:22

It was in a social media forum and he did not ask for it. There was no proof or evidence that he interacted with these kind of people. He inadvertently came across this material and there was nothing previous or prior tho this on his records. The images were not visible on his phone and he was not in possession. He is a genuinely good person and yes I do stand by him!

Just to add - in the 30 years I've been using the internet, I've never accidentally downloaded these type of images.

FfaCoff · 18/07/2025 07:30

If he's been charged but isn't guilty (big if) then the charges will be dropped or he'll be found not guilty when it goes to trial. So surely you just do what social services have told you to do until either of those scenarios happen.
They aren't being difficult, your partner has been charged with something incredibly serious that potentially puts your child at risk. Do you really think they should take his word for it that he's not actually guilty?

itsgettingweird · 18/07/2025 07:31

I think you need to reset your boundaries.

Your partner happened to be in a chat room and some random person sent him a link to child sexual abuse images randomly out of the blue?

seriously?

Your 1yo needs protecting and if you won’t do it I’m glad SS will.

Pickone · 18/07/2025 07:37

Until he's proven to be not guilty, your focus should be on your child and protecting her.

It's highly unlikely he's been charged with such an offence because he "accidentally downloaded a file". You're either totally naive or knowingly turning a blind eye.

Decaffirst · 18/07/2025 07:39

I wonder what chat room this was?

Cuwins · 18/07/2025 07:39

FfaCoff · 18/07/2025 07:30

If he's been charged but isn't guilty (big if) then the charges will be dropped or he'll be found not guilty when it goes to trial. So surely you just do what social services have told you to do until either of those scenarios happen.
They aren't being difficult, your partner has been charged with something incredibly serious that potentially puts your child at risk. Do you really think they should take his word for it that he's not actually guilty?

I was going to say similar to this.
Even if you believe he isn’t guilty (I doubt that’s true personally) then you still need to follow all the SS advice and rules for now. IF he is found not guilty then these will no longer apply. But until then if you don’t follow them you WILL loose your child.
SS are only doing their job of protecting your child and acting on the information they have.

Decaffirst · 18/07/2025 07:39

I am so relieved that social services seem as concerned as I am about this.

Brokenforsummer · 18/07/2025 07:40

Did he open the file, see what it was and then immediately call the police?

Willowskyblue · 18/07/2025 07:40

I hope you will listen to what others are saying on here, as hard as it may be for you to hear. You don't randomly come across images like you describe, unless you're either looking for them, or you are in an area of the internet that the majority of people don't access. The fact that he was charged speaks volumes.
I use the internet all day every day at work and at home and never once have I come across anything even anywhere near as worrying as this.
Please protect your very young child.

Decaffirst · 18/07/2025 07:40

He has been found guilty?

Roseshavethorns · 18/07/2025 07:42

Please think about it.
If someone, unsolicited, sent you an attachment, you opened it and it contained these type of images what would you do?
I'm pretty sure that you and the vast majority of people, once they had stopped being sick, would contact the police immediately so that the sender and his sick buddies could be traced and the children found.
What did your partner do?

Peacepleaselouise · 18/07/2025 07:42

You would need the proper legal process to clear him. That is the only route. Trying to fight social services or get him back living with you will eventually and inevitably lead to your child being removed from you. No loving dad would ever want or allow that risk. If they were innocent and accused they would want you to do everything to ensure their children were safely in your care and not to jeapodise that.