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Original poster

Social sevices risk

156 replies

Helpwithsocialservices · 18/07/2025 07:14

Hi.
My partner was charged with downloading indecent images, they were in cache files only and had viewed them by clicking on a link someone set him in a chat room. He never asked for then. He was charge for the offence.
We have a 1 year old daughter and social sevices are involved saying he is high risk and can no longer live with us. Although his court order says there is nothing legally stopping him being in the property
I stand by him and want our family back together but social sevices are being very difficult. Is there anything we can do legally that can put him back in the property? Really need some help and advice on this

OP posts:
Anon501178 · 18/07/2025 15:10

ButtSurgery · 18/07/2025 10:14

Agree @wizzywig . I've worked in the arena for a couple of decades now. Which meant than when DH 's very close friend of 25 years was convicted of IIOC we were absolutely gobsmacked. As in I think DH went into actual clinical shock when I told him, it was frightening.

I found out because the sentencing was reported in the local paper. I'm not sure I've physically shaken so hard reading anything else. Then I had to tell DH.

We had heard mutterings about him being escorted out of work one day around 9 months before, but he claimed it was to do with a grievance and he'd made stupid threats and was embarrassed about his behaviour and yada yada.

Nope, someone had seen sus images on his phone and reported them to the police. Who nicked him, found all grades of images on his phone and two laptops. He cooperated with the investigation, gave them the passwords etc, and admitted some (but not all) of it.

His wife stands by him. Of course he blames the ex wife and the divorce for it all. All the images and videos were of young boys down to babies. He's a father to two boys with his ex. None with the current wife and he doesn't get to see his sons any more.

We were at his house for a BBQ a month before the sentencing. The utter bastard knows what I do for a living and still carried on like nothing had happened. I then also had to declare my contact with him which was a real PITA.

This sort of story just goes to show that Paedophiles can hide in plain sight, and often have their own kids too.
Some fit the stereotype, others not so much, but the most shocking to me are always the teachers.....and there have been quite afew of those round my way in recent years which scares the hell out of me for my daughters going forwards.
Luckily they've had only female teachers upto now which i know is sad to say, as I know some men are wonderful people and teachers, but to be honest it's one less thing for me to panic about as a parent! You just never know.
Working in child protection and seeing paedophiles first hand does make me feel very aware of the risks.

Anon501178 · 18/07/2025 15:10

This sort of story just goes to show that Paedophiles can hide in plain sight, and often have their own kids too.
Some fit the stereotype, others not so much, but the most shocking to me are always the teachers.....and there have been quite afew of those round my way in recent years which scares the hell out of me for my daughters going forwards.
Luckily they've had only female teachers upto now which i know is sad to say, as I know some men are wonderful people and teachers, but to be honest it's one less thing for me to panic about as a parent! You just never know.
Working in child protection and seeing paedophiles first hand does make me feel very aware of the risks.

ThrowAway987654321 · 18/07/2025 15:14

I’ve been thinking about your poor child all day. Are you not even the least worried that he may have already harmed her? Shared images of her?! I don’t know if you’ll be back OP but I hope you’re reading, and taking in what everyone is telling you.

itsgettingweird · 18/07/2025 15:47

I think your missing the point that they searched his laptop in the first place.

I’ve never had a laptop searched for child sexual abuse images.

Why was his?

vegetarianlouise · 18/07/2025 20:18

Instead of opening a thread on MN you should be talking to police and getting all the details on why he husband got charged because no one gets arrested for opening a link by accident sorry, there's clearly more to this story unless this is all a wind up.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 19/07/2025 17:21

@Helpwithsocialservices- how are you doing today? Are you processing all this?

I do understand the desire to make everything “fine” and how it was before. I do understand the urge to be normal until the court case, with the hope it will be not guilty and you can put all this behind you. But you must deal with this now.

And yes, it is shit that something that is completely not your fault is upending your life. Have you got support?

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