Social sevices risk

[Helpwithsocialservices]

Hi.
My partner was charged with downloading indecent images, they were in cache files only and had viewed them by clicking on a link someone set him in a chat room. He never asked for then. He was charge for the offence.
We have a 1 year old daughter and social sevices are involved saying he is high risk and can no longer live with us. Although his court order says there is nothing legally stopping him being in the property
I stand by him and want our family back together but social sevices are being very difficult. Is there anything we can do legally that can put him back in the property? Really need some help and advice on this

Just in case OP can’t figure it for herself - bevause the police will have been monitoring him for some time, more than likely. He’s probably part of a ring. I know someone who this happened to. He completely had his whole family believing it was ‘accidental’ too - when it came to court he had thousands of images spanning several years and had been arrested as part of a sting - yhd police had bedn watching him and the other members for sometime

Yep. The police will have far more than OP has been told.

Having worked in this field for 11 years….its never an accident. Sorry OP.
Look after your little one.

They all say they didn’t want the images, they didn’t know what was on the files. And yet the Police have charged him - not me, not you, no one on here, because you don’t accidentally download child abuse images.

Wise up, he’s a nonse, you’re putting your child at risk and believing total nonsense.

The police would have been monitoring it for a long time. I think you need to open your eyes. He is a risk to your child and everyone else child. Remember the police can trace where it's come from, if it's shared , how often it's looked at every single thing on his phone and devices. They wouldn't involve social services for no reason.
Also when he received the files did he report it ? My guessing is not. He just got his kicks out of it then acted innocent.

I make no comment on the situation in the OP but I would remind you that dozens or maybe even hundreds of users of this site were sent child sexual abuse images for free and at random, on more than one occasion in the last year.

Jesus OP. I wouldn’t care if he accidentally opened the images or not (of course he knew what he was looking at. I can imagine the kind of chat room this was…), I still wouldn’t want my child anywhere near him. It’s not worth the risk. My child would come first.

Get rid or risk losing your child.

I don’t think we’ll see the OP again

You have to choose between your dd and your partner. Either you go no contact with your partner or you give your dd up to ss.
Go to the court when the case begins and listen to the evidence, then decide if your dp is guilty. Don’t just go on his word

You say “they were”, as in multiple images. Giving him the benefit of the doubt that he stumbled across a link to an image and when he clicked on it, it turned out to be an illegal image, why on earth would he continue to click multiple links?

Your partner is a paedophile. I’m sorry, it must be a colossal shock and the human brain makes us act delusional. It will sink in, and protecting your child should be your priority now.

How awful. Do you know if they caught the person who did that?

How did it come about that the police charged him? I mean, they don't do random checks on everyones computers/phones.

Without any context, I would assume they found these images as a result of an investigation into him based on intelligence they had gathered before they found them.

A friends SIL had this dilema and said all the same things "he didn't, it's not as it appears, this stuff was forced on him.." He was charged and she was still defending him. Went to court and it all came out. He went to prison and she was horrified and blind sided. If police charged him they believe there is enough evidence that he'll be found guilty. Do as social services says at least until he is proved innocent/guilty in court.

And the point is that police forensics can tell the difference between accidental and deliberate.

HOW have the police gotten hold of his phone in the first place? Because he reported it immediately? Or because Hes actually been looking at and pointy sharing images for some time and he’s been watched doing this for some time (you realise that undercover officers are infiltrating csa rings, yes?) as part of an investigation and he’s now been arrested and had his electronics taken to be forensically combed bevause yhd police finally had a reasonable amount of evidence from watching him (and likely others hes been interactive with) to make an arrest eith a good chance of prosecution?

I agree with all the other posters saying protecting your daughter is the highest priority here. I agree that you should do what Children's Services are recommending. I agree that the police wouldn't be investigating unless they felt there was enough evidence to hopefully get a conviction.

BUT

unless there's a court order saying he cannot see your daughter, or that he has to move out, then CS can only strongly recommend. They cannot make it happen.

It will count against you as a protective parent if you do continue to let him live in the home. CS can and may seek to pursue a court order to move him out of the home if you don't do so voluntarily.

Frustratingly CS can take forever to do all the assessments and investigations, all the while, he's not living at home. I suggest you move him out now in the interests of your daughter. If he's not guilty, or no evidence is found, isn't it better that you were showing your daughter that her safety is your first priority. CS can and do help with the cost of temporary housing and finding a place to live.

CP (rightly) is one of the areas of the law where you're assumed guilty until proven innocent. I'm glad it's this way round, as it means children are being protected.

Op, I am so sorry! This must be a shock. The world you thought you knew has just come tumbling down. I am not surprised that you don’t want it to be true. Who would? I hope you have some kind of support out there because you need to get away from this man who is probably lying to you.

I actually wish I had not clicked on this thread as I find it so upsetting on many levels - that you could live with someone for so long and not know them at all. I hope things work out well for you and your DC, op.

This is the time to put your child first and at the expense of literally everything else including yourself and your partner.

I would be jumping through every single hoop that social services set out. I don’t care if it was a genuine mistake or not (and its very likely not a mistake and you need to be very very aware of that), this has put your child at risk, the child could genuinely be removed from your care if it is perceived that you are putting them at risk, and having your partner around your child would absolutely be considered as exactly that! If you partner is genuinely innocent and also putting the child first - this is also what he should be wanting you to do, he should not be selfishly complaining about himself and a situation he put himself in, no! He should be worrying about his child, the risk of removal is real here, neither he or you should be willing to jeopardise that!

I sympathise with your predicament I really do, this must be utterly awful and will have completely knocked you off your feet I am sure, but innocent or not…is this man worth losing your child over?

PS: on the subject of innocence ask yourself seriously how many times have you ever accidentally downloaded child abuse material? I would bet never is the answer!

Op you'll find out at court or within the cps papers the number and category of images. Opening those images is the same as 'making of indecent images '.
You've said you believe him, fine you do you. However, you need to follow social services rules. It won't look good if you don't.

I work in child protection and I can sadly well believe this post is genuine.

I work quite abit with mothers who no longer have care of their children as they stood by a paedophile partner and did not recognise or protect their children from the risks.

I think the OP is in denial.....accepting that someone you loved and trusted is capable of such things must be very difficult.

But you need to be careful OP and comply with SS.You don't want your DD to lose BOTH of her parents.
Your partner is an adult, he doesn't NEED you and likely doesn't deserve you or your DD anyway.

Your child depends on you.

Don't let this man come first and end up losing care of your little girl 😥

It's a strict liability offence. Remember the lesbian who was convicted after receiving a (genuinely) unsolicited selfie from her sixteen year-old girlfriend? The only safe course of action is to contact the police immediately.

But in any case, you cannot afford to give him the benefit of the doubt, given that your child's safety is at stake.

Lots of us live with people then find out they're living a secret life @PopeJoan2

I never thought XH would be the person he was until I saw the evidence. He kept a secret from me for 6 years. Our friends and family couldn't believe the stories that I found out about the man they all loved.

Thankfully XH wasn't breaking the law, but I would never have guessed what he was up to as he hid it so very well and kept up his great man persona all through.

I forgot to add to my previous post, I too work with those who commit offences. So many men use the excuse of pregnancy, new baby, being a dad to small kids or a change to their lifestyle as a way to excuse what they have done. I managed someone who did it becuase he was lonely during lockdown and working from home even thoigh he had a wife and kids. They all say they felt neglected, lonely etc etc. I'm not saying that to justify his behaviour. More that you having a young child is one of those situations that those working in the field would know is a flash point.
I hope you do come back op. You were brave to post and underneath everyone's responses is the desire for you and your child's safety

Agree @wizzywig . I've worked in the arena for a couple of decades now. Which meant than when DH 's very close friend of 25 years was convicted of IIOC we were absolutely gobsmacked. As in I think DH went into actual clinical shock when I told him, it was frightening.

I found out because the sentencing was reported in the local paper. I'm not sure I've physically shaken so hard reading anything else. Then I had to tell DH.

We had heard mutterings about him being escorted out of work one day around 9 months before, but he claimed it was to do with a grievance and he'd made stupid threats and was embarrassed about his behaviour and yada yada.

Nope, someone had seen sus images on his phone and reported them to the police. Who nicked him, found all grades of images on his phone and two laptops. He cooperated with the investigation, gave them the passwords etc, and admitted some (but not all) of it.

His wife stands by him. Of course he blames the ex wife and the divorce for it all. All the images and videos were of young boys down to babies. He's a father to two boys with his ex. None with the current wife and he doesn't get to see his sons any more.

We were at his house for a BBQ a month before the sentencing. The utter bastard knows what I do for a living and still carried on like nothing had happened. I then also had to declare my contact with him which was a real PITA.

Do not entertain having him in the house unless he is proved to be innocent. Experts can tell if files have been accessed accidentally or repeatedly viewed. Do exactly as you are advised to protect your child.

OP has said more than once that she is standing by him. She obviously cares more about him than her own child.