Child protection

[Fairypick]

Hi, this is my story and am looking for any advice or guidance in regards to my post. Please don’t judge.

Almost 10 years ago I had my second child and at around 8 months old they sustained unexplained none accidental injuries these were the injuries caused from the Drs review:
2014 baby was presented by his mother at his GP surgery with bruising and swelling to his feet, she was unable to offer any explanation to how an immobile child could have sustained these injuries, baby was then referred to Hospital and examined by a doctor. Baby was found to have linear bruising on the tops of the right foot as well as bruising on the tip of the right big toe and diffuse bruising on the soles of both feet. There was also a small 0.5 superficial scratch on top of baby’s chest and a small 5mm linear bruise on the posterior aspect of baby’s left ear. A skeletal survey also found baby to have 6 healing fractures to the ribs, which appeared to be old ones.
There were concerns that the injuries may have been caused by either mother or her partner (not the. Baby’s farther) and they were arrested and bailed with no further action due to no evidence an interim court order was granted. It is noted that in a court of law and family court the judge determined either mother or her partner had caused the injuries and a Lancashire finding was accepted as neither mother or partner were accepting responsibility for causing the injuries that baby had sustained although the blamed each other at the time of the incident.
As part of this section 47 enquiry SW spoken to both in question about the injuries and they both remain clear that they did not cause the injuries to baby nor can they explain what happened or how it happened. Mother also shared that if she had of caused the injuries she would not have taken her baby to get treatment as she knows this would have got her into trouble. Almost 11 years on me and my partner are now expecting our first baby together, there has been no DV in almost 7 years and we have remained very positive in our relationship since and very much looking forward to the arrival of our new born baby. We were made subjected to a child protection order in January due to a referral and we were very open and honest about this, we have worked very closely openly and honestly with the LA since the order was made and have never dismissed anything to them. We are due to have a review conference shortly before our baby is born and we currently scored a 3 and this still remains a score of 3 in the report from the SW before the next review meeting. However despite working extremely hard and jumping through many hoops we were informed that they will be seeking legal advice and can not define an answer as to what will happen next this was not mentioned in the very first meeting, we have completed all the assessments and tasks even agreed to any plan needed to ensure we get to be a family and keep our newborn baby, no pre birth plan has been completed yet either. The reason being that that they are seeking legal advice from what they have said is is that we are both saying now that we don’t think either of us caused the injuries, LA didn’t realise the seriousness of the past case either. We have consent to having a virtual baby for 48hrs and will do anything in our power to show and demonstrate we are no risk at all. We understand that they have a duty to ensure children are protected and especially newborn a babies we have never dismissed that, yes it’s difficult to tell what happened or why it happened as we do not know ourself, yes I admit I did at that time failed to safeguard my child who sadly sustained injuries. What am asking is really what do you think will happen, do we stand a chance of keeping our newborn baby and maintaining as a family unit or are we losing a fighting battle that we have worked so very hard for? I fully understand their worries and concerns but surely with a lot of positives and the length of time passed we could be given a chance at this? We are more then happy to be placed in a mother and baby unit, a foster placement or a supervision order, the last thing we want is to have our baby removed. Any advice or experience would be much appreciated and please don’t judge we are not horrible bad people just two people who would very much like the opportunity to show we can care, protect and love our child to the best of our ability with the support of the LA until they feel satisfied that the risks are no longer there. Yes they have expressed in their report that they think the new born baby will potentially be at significant risk of harm when born, but surely if we are not given a chance to prove this wrong they is that not fair at all? We have been told to keep providing for our baby and that they don’t know what the plan of the next steps will be although they have expressed that we have engaged positively since the very beginning and that no DV has been present for many years also.
Thank you for your understanding.

You need to stop going on about what other people have done - it's all irrelevant. Other people have also gone to prison for what you've done - do you want to acknowledge that too or are you only going to mention it when you feel it works in your defense?

In my case is very serious am not dismissing this at all, yet am being labelled as though I did the crime myself and myself alone?

You know what you and your partner did to that poor baby. No poster here is going to believe your lies.

The most loving thing you could do for your unborn baby is to freely allow him/her to be placed in care.

You stayed with a man you knew to be violent and who you believed had caused the injuries to your baby, even after losing that baby from your life. You then became pregnant by him. Until last night when you say you had some sort of miraculous wake up that I simply don't believe, you had spent months of your pregnancy with the full intention that you would be "a family". You have repeatedly scored 3 (out of 10) on the safety scale. You seem to think you should be given another chance in the interests of "fairness".

Tell us why children's services and ultimately a Court would have any belief or trust that this baby will be safer than your last ?

Still think there is a first child and very curious as to the background there.

Your first post says

"Almost 10 years ago I had my second child"

A number of us including me have asked what happened to your first child, but you haven't answered. Is this because it wouldn't refect well on you and could be yet another cause for concern by SS?

If the answer is distressing for you I apologise for the intrusive question.

You keep saying the same things and it is just a load of excuses. It's also not what you need to be focused on right now. Nothing anyone says on here is going to change things in your life. No one can reassure you you'll be able to keep this child and no one can actually say SS will take them away. You need to focus on your unborn baby and doing the right things like moving out asap whether you'll get to keep them or not. You know what happened, if you know you didn't do it you know he did so hold that certainty, take strength from it and get the fuck out of the relationship you're in and start being the mum your unborn baby deserves.

You chose to stay with the man who attacked and abused your child rather than leave him and raise your child. You would have had every support to do so. You chose him over your child.

and still are. If you didn’t do it, then you know he did, and you chose him.

Nobody in their right mind would believe a word you say. You’re a child abuser or were complicit in allowing the abuse of your child. The only reason you weren’t charged or convicted was because the two of you blamed each other. You didn’t wake up one morning and realise your baby had been hurt - you must think we’re all so gullible.

I can sort of understand someone staying in an abusive relationship when they've been together years, are financially connected and have children together - leaving is scary, I get that. A lot of people stay in DV relationships ironically to protect their children because they can't risk the other parent having unsupervised access.

None of these things apply to you.

Your baby was 8 months old and already had 6 healing fractures to the ribs, which implies the abuse had been happening for some time. They also had bruising to the ear which is a huge red flag for abuse.

It was a new relationship, you weren't tied to this man - you chose to stay. I don't believe your child could have such significant injuries and you noticed nothing. At 8 months old a baby is totally reliant on their main caregiver (you!) - they shouldn't have even been away from you apart from with trusted people. A new man in your life should never be considered trustworthy to have sole care of a non-verbal, vulnerable child.

Nothing about your situation today is any different from the day your baby was taken. You've had years to leave this man - again, you've chosen to stay.

Your social worker would have to be pretty negligent to not see the risks here.

I woke up to my child in distress and knew something was not right and got help from professionals to understand why my child was very much in distress?

You didn’t notice your child has several fractures which equally would have caused them distress, and those fractures healed without treatment. You said you’ve consistently scored a 3 on the safety scale - what has your social worker said you need to do to improve that score?

@Fairypick
Like others have said, you're just typing words and words of excuses.

In relation to not seeing your abused child for ten years, well I don't blame his father! He's actually going to lengths to protect his child. I'd do the same. Especially when there is a 50/50 chance you broke a babies bones!!!

Oh, and why did you go on to have another pregnancy with a domestic abuser who, if you are adamant you didn't abuse your baby, he must of!?
Classic example of a woman choosing a man over their children.

No mention of your eldest child either.

Hope SS do take action, as you have shown no desire to keep your previous child safe from abuse.

Hope SS don't get hoodwinked into your 'I'm leaving him' act! As if they let you keep your baby, not a doubt you'll let your boyfriend back in.

OP I think you should get this post removed. I don’t think any further discussion is helpful to anyone.

@LauderSyme it depends on the role - an enhanced check would include information about arrests - and 'any information the police hold about you'

Anyway don't want to de-rail the thread

Tidy it away so you don’t need to see it?

if even one of us can make the op see sense, just one, then it’s worth it.

So if you are adamant it wasn't you who hurt your baby therefore it must have been your partner....no wonder the baby's dad doesn't let you see the boy. I can't believe you actually stayed with this man. And effectively put him before your baby. 6 fractured ribs!!! The baby dad is not a narcissist he's protecting his child which is what you failed to do. If you had been at all bothered you would have left this man 10 years ago not played house for a decade and then got pregnant by him

Look at my previous posts. I don’t support OP. But she is still a heavily pregnant woman right now and I don’t think this thread is helping her. It’s not helping her baby either. The relevant authorities are already involved.

I don't agree at all. If the op wants to hide the thread then she has the ability to do so - threads shouldn't be deleted just because they aren't going the OPs way.

I think the vast majority of posters have been restrained considering.

I see thank you, I wasn't aware of that. A good example of the dangers of being only a little bit informed!

Still, if OP is telling us the truth, this doesn't appear to have been flagged up in her case. Either that or she found an employer who was willing to give her the chance that she thinks SS should give her.

On the facts given, an emergency application will be made to the duty judge and an interim care order will be made. Your baby will be taken into care.

It sounds as though that will be the right decision.

From your replies it reads like you have two children. Child 1 has a flat head and speech issues , child 2 was the child with the broken ribs.... clearly neither child is in your care. There is no way on God's green earth after loosing custody of 2 children will you be allowed to keep this 3rd child. You had your second chance with baby 2 and you blew it. You are a child abuser. How did you loose custody of baby 1? Clearly the "violent" partner wasn't around then? So whose to blame for that? You're the only common denominator here.

I don't know how you dare insult the father of your child who has been caring for him for the past 10 years while you've lived with the man who violently attacked your baby. I wouldn't let you see the child either, no court in the land would make me. He seems like a really good father whereas you, are a disgusting excuse of a human being.

I'm not normally one to stick the boot in but I hope social services see straight through you and take that poor innocent baby away from you.

I’ve looked at this published article. There appears to be a large number of macro and micro risk factors in your posts. Consequently I agree with previous posters that you unborn child will be deemed very high risk

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10594837/

Do you understand how manipulated narcissists work?

Do they work just like you?

Post 1 "We just want to have our own family, we don't have any DV anymore, we DEFINITELY didn't injure my first baby, give us a chance"

Post 2 "He did it all, it was him looking after my first baby. I am going to get rid of him and have my baby all by myself, I failed to safeguard my first baby and although the situation is EXACTLY THE SAME WITH THE SAME MAN AFTER 11 WHOLE YEARS, look, I promise I am going to change it."

Post 3 "I didn't safeguard yeah, but It wasn't my fault, he manipulated me"

The Inevitable Future: "He made me take him back and he manipulated me into allowing him to abuse my new baby.."

Now do you understand why SS and everyone else thinks that you are a risk?

There will be a variety of roles 'working with children and families' some of which won't require an enhanced check eg housekeeping, secretariat etc

So I'm not accusing the OP or her employer of anything 'untoward'

You choose a man over you own child sorry i have no sympathy for you.
You should have left but you didnt.

Ditch the partner. Then (if you have the funds) move abroad (before you give birth).

This is your only chance to escape ss.