Adjourned, dismissed or full hearing?

[user1499775533]

I was due to attend the Family court with my exes mother on the 11th of September but unfortunately my grandmother suffered a major stroke on the 5th of September so understandably I didn’t attend as I have more important things on my mind. I emailed the court explaining and giving my grandmothers name and ward number but have heard nothing since! Cafcass did say that any contact with my baby would have to be arranged between my exes mum and myself but they also suggested sticking to the no contact that the police had put in place to prevent her abuse and harassment. My other threads explain it all. I also recieved no safegaurding letter from cafcass prior to the court date. I’m just wondering if the court has thrown it out seen as she’s never seen my baby and in legal terms is no relation. I did email the judge when I first received the papers asking for him to change their mind based on all of the facts so unsure if this has been accepted. Also on the same application for my baby she’d asked for a whole day with my elder Daughter who she sees for 2 hours a month with her son then she asked for a separate contact order with my 1 year old who she has never seen!!! I’m hoping a court can see her games and see the pattern that’s forming and hopefully put an end to it. Any advice would be appreciated.

[Apolloanddaphne]

I hope things become a bit clearer today. Good luck.

[whitershadeofpale]

I hope things go well today it's an unenviable position.

[MintyMabel]

I will be holding power of attorney

Strange position given your reluctance to contact the court when you are afraid of what the answer will be.

[user1499775533]

So permission went through as I suspected and we are due in the crown court in 1 month. The legal advisor had to tell her 3 times not to shout or speak when spoken to. I found him to be very friendly but again no judge or cafcass. The other person thought we were attending today for court orders and he explained that it was a hearing for permission and even if the court gave permission then there's no guarantee it would lead to an order. I feel relieved this part is over and glad that the court weren't harsh. And the legal advisor said my e-mail I sent for not attending court on the 11th had been accepted and was fine.

[user1499775533]

Now onto the next bit. It definitely wasn't as bad as I thought and I really held my own in the courtroom in a respectful and confident way and I feel proud of myself. It's just a shame it has to be like this especially when contact has never been refused, but now I have to lay my boundaries down in the legal way to avoid this happening again to my children.

[user1499775533]

I’m wondering now why we are at the crown court but I suspect it’s something to do with cafcass as they only work a particular day at this work and maybe the judges are more legally trained at that court!? Also do magistrate’s have legal training???

[Collaborate]

It's just a shame it has to be like this especially when contact has never been refused
You’re lying to yourself now. The only reason it’s in court is because you refused contact. FFS you’ve made well over 100 posts on this thread where you’ve hammered that point home.
I’m hiding this thread.

[user1499775533]

Nope. Read back, contact was never refused. She took me to court in 2017 for access at her home. That application was seen today in court too and she was offered contact with both of my children in a neutral place but she refused. I detest the orders, it’s not necessary and never was and I am standing my ground over permission for my baby. I said in court today that I refuse to hand my baby over like she insisted or she’d take me to court, the middle magistrate said nobody’s going to make you do that.

[user1499775533]

Boundaries and respect are all that’s needed, and I said that today because lack of that has lead to this. Her controlling side was shining through also, she’s usually more careful about doing that around others. After the legal advisor had spoken about the next steps and hearing, she was waving an envelope with the consent order in asking if she can come and collect my daughter because it says that on the order and the legal advisor said to leave the arrangement as it is. He said any further agreements will be drafted out properly as it definitely wasn’t drafted out correctly when we attended in 2017 but there was no cafcass officer present and I had no legal representative to make sure our agreement was properly drafted. The court seemed quite happy with this. She also said she’d tried mediation and the court advisor pulled her up and said it was a MIAM not mediation. She has raised safeguard against me too but it wasn’t read out in court, I suspect it’s the mental problem I have that she likes throwing around, I did tell cafcass she says that a lot. My only problem has been what she does and the impact of her control does effect me massively.

[whitershadeofpale]

I'm confused, are you offering contact with your youngest or not? Also, a judge or a magistrate won't make any difference in a case like this, legally it's not complex (although of course it is emotionally).

[user1499775533]

Contact was offered with both of my children but she refused, she wanted to go to court. I have refused given permission for my baby but if she wants to stop all of this order and court stuff then I can compromise. I have refused her taking my elder Daughter for a full day, she’s still asking for that, I have refused because she’s at nursery full time but agreed there could be abit longer. I think it’s going to be swings and roundabouts with her because it’s the fight that she enjoys.

[user1499775533]

The legal advisor was in tune with all of the legal stuff and took out a big red book of the children’s act reading a short paragraph before the magistrates retired to make a decision. It took them 20 minutes. Honesty I just couldn’t believe that she didn’t put her sweet gran act on yesterday. There is no way the court couldn’t of recognised how controlling she was being, even in there. She’s a woman that has to have her own way and since I’ve started saying no her anger is on another level.

[user1499775533]

She’s told cafcass twice that I have mental health problems, and throws it around a lot which is extremely humiliating. If she keeps saying that then she might be a step closer to getting my children. I told the police and cafcass this too. Very unfair the system is I think, they can continue controlling and manipulating legally. I’m in a position now where she has seen my elder Daughter for 2 years so getting that stopped would be difficult so rather than a judge make an order I’d rather try and compromise and at least then I can supervise both of my children and just be amicable with the other person.