Adjourned, dismissed or full hearing?

[user1499775533]

I was due to attend the Family court with my exes mother on the 11th of September but unfortunately my grandmother suffered a major stroke on the 5th of September so understandably I didn’t attend as I have more important things on my mind. I emailed the court explaining and giving my grandmothers name and ward number but have heard nothing since! Cafcass did say that any contact with my baby would have to be arranged between my exes mum and myself but they also suggested sticking to the no contact that the police had put in place to prevent her abuse and harassment. My other threads explain it all. I also recieved no safegaurding letter from cafcass prior to the court date. I’m just wondering if the court has thrown it out seen as she’s never seen my baby and in legal terms is no relation. I did email the judge when I first received the papers asking for him to change their mind based on all of the facts so unsure if this has been accepted. Also on the same application for my baby she’d asked for a whole day with my elder Daughter who she sees for 2 hours a month with her son then she asked for a separate contact order with my 1 year old who she has never seen!!! I’m hoping a court can see her games and see the pattern that’s forming and hopefully put an end to it. Any advice would be appreciated.

[Perunatop]

Take the advice you have been given and prioritise court hearings so that you can have your say and explain in person what you think is best for the children. Your children should be your number 1 priority not your grandmother.

[user1499775533]

It was a first hearing. This woman is not the father to my children, has no parental rights and is getting contact with my elder Daughter (the child that her son wants to be legally responsible for) in regards to my baby she does not need to be involved in this. The right of my child is to be left alone and be raised by a mum that isn’t emotionally drained.

[user1499775533]

Also my grandmother is a very important person in my life and her current condition has made it a very emotional time for all of us. What time she has left is all that matters at this moment and everyday is another day, a day I don’t want to waste thinking about the woman that has made my life hell.

[LIZS]

But every time you post you are ranting about her. Better to find out then you can focus on your dc and gm.

[titchy]

No point whatsoever telling us all this - it's not MNers making decisions about your family.

The judge is the one you need to tell. In court. But you didn't. And you've probably massively pissed off the one person you really really needed on your side - the person able to order you to hand your children over, and throw you in jail if you refuse - the judge.

[user1499775533]

The court, the police and cafcass are aware of my emotional state due to all of this. Then, what’s happened to my grandmother has literally been the nail in the coffin. There’s only so much one person can take and judges are human too I’m sure. At this point I just want to be left alone. The main thing is despite everything, my ex and myself remain on good terms for the sake of our kids and we want to keep it like this.

[Thehouseintheforest]

This is just bizarre behaviour OP.
The 'law' is not an option that you can decide to agree with as you see fit . It is THE law. You are OBLIGED to adhere to it regardless of your belief of its correctness .

As I understand it, your mil has asked for leave of the court to make an application for contact. She has to do this because she does not hold PR. She needed the courts permission to apply. It's the first step for people without PR. ... and you - in your wisdom - decided it would be a GOOD idea not to bother turning up for this hearing. The exact hearing where you could lay out your reasons to oppose her being given permission. !!! That's just really really stupid. Sorry to be so blunt OP - but it is.
You didn't turn up to oppose anything , so there is a better than 50/50 chance that the Judge allowed her leave.

The majority of un defended petitions are found in the plaintiffs favour.

She already has contact with your elderst Chances are you have just given her a free pass to apply for contact with your other child. .

[myrtleWilson]

as I said... the OP pays little regard to anything anyone posts and just regurgitates her mantra....

[user1499775533]

First things first. I do not break the law and neither am I currently. And secondly this is not my mother in law as I was never married to my ex partner. The contact she has with my daughter now was a consent order that her father and myself agreed to at the first hearing in 2017. She put that application in not because contact was denied, but she fancied having it at her house so decided to drag her own son and granddaughter through the court process just to get her own way and if I’m honest she enjoys this kind of thing, makes her feel more powerful. Her son holds no parental rights to my baby therefore her connection is even weaker and not to mention my baby is 14 months old and never met the woman. Her own son can’t bare to be around her for more than 2 hours a month so what is that telling you? I did not recieve a court summons and in the past I have attended court but on this occasion I didn’t due to good reason and it this point in my life I don’t feel I’m in the right place to do so. This is a civil court, not a criminal court.

[user1499775533]

My solicitor has said she would have a very long expensive way to go regarding my baby and that she’d have to prove to the court that she’s got a good connection with the baby that she’s never seen!!!

[user1499775533]

Also cafcass have all of the information that a court would need to decide whether permission being granted. Also I did not receive a safegaurding letter, probably due to her racial outbursts, police involvement due to threatening calls and behaviour or could be her husbands previous domestic violence charge, or maybe even my exes recent charge of affray 🙈 the mind boggles.

[user1499775533]

Cafcass are aware she was offered to meet with both of my children but she refused this. She made it clear if it wasn’t on her terms then she’d litake me to court for orders on my children. At times I’ve felt like she is the other parent the way she has made demands. In her mind I think she believes she has rights and is entitled to keep doing this because she’s a very important person. Unfortunately it’s got to the stage of no return where she began extremely threatening and abusive or the phone so I had no choice but to call the police, so any chances of meeting now wouldn’t work because the police have said there should be no contact, to me sitting in a court room would be contact, and considering she isn’t the other parent I don’t feel I have to put myself through that. It’s so easy for you guys to pass judgement but unless you’re in this position or have been then you probably wouldn’t understand. There’s a much bigger picture to all of this.

[Collaborate]

You didn't stand your ground. You literally did the opposite of that. You stayed at home and shied away, whilst the grandmother got to say what she wanted to say to the court, all unopposed by you.

Returning to this thread cannot be good for you. Nearly everyone is telling you how you're coming across poorly. Do yourself a favour, leave this thread unless you've got something positive to report, and concentrate on engaging with the court process.

[Tojigornot]

When the police said that there should be no contact, they didn't mean that you shouldn't attend court.

[FenellaVelour]

My solicitor has said she would have a very long expensive way to go regarding my baby and that she’d have to prove to the court that she’s got a good connection with the baby that she’s never seen!!!

And you’re making that process a whole lot easier for her by not engaging with the court hearings to actually explain why she shouldn’t see your baby.

[FenellaVelour]

Think of it this way: if you’re not in court, she could be telling the judge anything, entirely unchallenged by you. She could say she’s seen your baby every day. How would the judge know that’s untrue, if you’re not there to put your side across?

You seem to be asking a lot of people,, including solicitors, but not actually listening to any of them.

[FenellaVelour]

Also cafcass have all of the information that a court would need to decide whether permission being granted.

That’s not down to Cafcass. They’re not there to make representations on your behalf. If you’d attended the first hearing, and shown that she has never had contact with your baby, the court might not have given her leave to apply for contact and all of this might be over by now. Given that you didn’t attend, the chances are the court may have granted permission and you’ll now be mired in the full contested Child Arrangements Order process. But you don’t know that, as you’re burying your head in the sand. Really, really unwise. As everyone has already said.

[user1499775533]

I have stood my ground in the sense I’ve taken all the relevant steps to report her under handed behaviour. I had full intentions to attend court for the first hearing but none of us can control life and during this time in my life I am not in an emotionally stable position to be negotiating with anyone over my children. I will ensure I attend the next hearing if it comes to this but like I say sometimes things happen that are out of our control. A court need to consider that if I’m this wicked woman denying contact then why is the father not joining in on these proceedings!

[user1499775533]

I doubt that we should say that seen as she told the police it was ‘the little one she was after’ and admitted there’s been no contact. If she was to say otherwise then it’s on her to prove that.

[user1499775533]

She has no solicitor acting on her behalf and you can tell. It’s all just a game to her, I believe she actually enjoys going to court. She’s the kind it woman that has gone through life making everyone do as she says or she’ll take you to court etc. This explains why her so many of her family do not have contact because it’s hard work.

[user1499775533]

What can I do. The court are aware of my feelings and that I don’t give consent for any orders to be made. If they were planning on making one then it would of happened with or without me present as the first hearing you don’t get to say anything. It’s very humiliating if I’m honest and very intimidating. I think there should be certain laws in place to support people going through this.

[HerculePoirotsGreyCells]

How it's coming across in your posts is that you're not standing your ground more burying your head in the sand. You need to engage with the court. Chase up things if you haven't heard. The police and cafcass may know your situation but the judge won't and will base decisions on what is presented to them. We understand you're tired of her games but don't back down now.

[user1499775533]

I know it comes across that I’m this weak person hiding away, but it’s not the case. I was fully prepared to attend court (dreading it as you do) but I was attending just like I have done in the past but then my grandmother had her stroke and life has changed massively. She’s unable to walk, eat or talk and I’m dealing with all of this, I have no more mental energy to even think about the rubbish she pulls out of the bag with these applications. It’s all a game to her in some sick sick way and I’m tired. The police said they were concerned for my emotional welfare prior to this because I was in a bad place and suggested seeing my GP so you can imagine how I’m feeling now, but I keep going for my kids. She didn’t fool the police either, they saw straight through her which isn’t hard

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

Have you called yet?

I really think it'll be better for you to know; because you're clearly very understandably anxious about this and it's playing on your mind. Once you know what has happened, you'll be able to focus on that one instead of thinking about all the different options.

[MustardScreams]

You come across as someone who puts their own feelings before their children’s tbh. Sometimes you’ve got to suck it up and crack on, even if the thing you have to do is hard or shit.

Just phone the court, stop being so dramatic and get on with your life.