Adjourned, dismissed or full hearing?

[user1499775533]

I was due to attend the Family court with my exes mother on the 11th of September but unfortunately my grandmother suffered a major stroke on the 5th of September so understandably I didn’t attend as I have more important things on my mind. I emailed the court explaining and giving my grandmothers name and ward number but have heard nothing since! Cafcass did say that any contact with my baby would have to be arranged between my exes mum and myself but they also suggested sticking to the no contact that the police had put in place to prevent her abuse and harassment. My other threads explain it all. I also recieved no safegaurding letter from cafcass prior to the court date. I’m just wondering if the court has thrown it out seen as she’s never seen my baby and in legal terms is no relation. I did email the judge when I first received the papers asking for him to change their mind based on all of the facts so unsure if this has been accepted. Also on the same application for my baby she’d asked for a whole day with my elder Daughter who she sees for 2 hours a month with her son then she asked for a separate contact order with my 1 year old who she has never seen!!! I’m hoping a court can see her games and see the pattern that’s forming and hopefully put an end to it. Any advice would be appreciated.

She was blue lighted to hospital. I found her on her bed. Seeing her like that was awful and if I’m honest I was in shock for a couple of weeks.

Sorry, I meant on the 11th - where was she then?

She was in hospital. The doctors were unsure if she’d make it. I did give the court my nans name and ward number so they could check.

Are you still being represented by the same solicitor who told you this wouldn't happen?

Did you recall the C100?

I'm concerned about how blindly you're walking through this. I can appreciate that you're stressed, but honestly, our legal system isn't something you can ignore or sleepwalk through, however anxious you are.

I am not being represented by anyone. I had an hours consultation, this solicitor said not to worry and not to react just to leave her to it because she would have a very expensive long way to go and maybe still not have the outcome she’d want. I believe that anything is possible and if I’m honest I believe I’m going there just to be told they have given permission and to talk about the next steps. I have no faith and really wish I’d of not agreed to her having contact with my elder Daughter at her house, so there’d be no order now. I’m literally a lamb to slaughter aren’t I?

I feel I’m going to have to hand my baby over aswell to the unknown even. When my elder daughter visits, I miss her so much even though it’s 2 hours. When I work and she’s at nursery I miss her too but I tell myself I’m working to benefit her, when I’m sat at home and she’s not there it feels crap. I spend all of my free time with my kids. I don’t go out with friends and leave my children, I’m 100% committed to them and this all seems very unfair.

Your court appointment is to determine if MIL will be allowed to continue with her petition.
Court will probably hear from both parties and once you’ve clearly stated that she’s never met your youngest they should probably dismiss her petition.
I think you’re working yourself up into a frenzy and you’ll need to be calm, clear and focused.

@Clangus00 It's not called a petition.

I will be attending with a clearer head this time , that’s for sure. Part of the reason of me not attending the first hearing was due to lack of sleep and being far too emotional. These things would go in her favour. I need to be strong and stand up to this. All I can do is hope that the laws regarding my baby are followed through. Cafcass were amazing I found but we’ll see on Monday if that still stands.

To any mother, the thought of having to hand your baby over in circumstances that you know aren’t right is awful. I can’t explain the fear. Deep down you know it’s just a game to the OP and they will use it to continue their control and hate campaign towards you. All I can do is attend and put my reasons forward why I do not want any orders made on my children. The judge will decide the rest and the OP will have to foot the bill. All of this because being nice and amicable is too easy.

@Collaborate does it matter? Everyone knows what I meant?

It matters because you seem to be so confident in predicting what happened at the last hearing and what will happen at the next.

Not at all, I just said what would probably/likely happen.
I can be semi-confident due to the information OP has already provided and the past experience of myself and others.

I actually abit more confident that there will be a judge present this time. When I attended in 2017 there wasn’t a judge there but from what I’ve been told, judges have more legal training than the lay justices

*I’m

I had to call the court again just to double check but permission hasn’t been decided yet, the only thing that was ordered on the 11th of September was that there would be a hearing on Monday and I need to attend so it’s almost like the first hearing again. I know I’m facing a full hearing for my elder Daughter but unsure what will be decided for my baby.

I understood what you meant hun. Don’t worry. I’ve just been reading the children’s act 1989 and from what I’ve read it seems that getting a child application order put down on my baby would be very difficult considering her age, the actual fact that there has been no contact with the other person to get an order in place and the obvious fact of her son not establishing his position as the father. I’m going to continue researching over the weekend so by Monday I’ll be able to self represent more confidently.

If you’ve had a letter saying permission will be decided on Monday and they’ve confirmed this by phone, then that’s the situation. You’ve been fortunate it seems.
Make a list of reasons you do not consent to the application, focusing on the possible impact on your child. If she’s not got an existing relationship with your child, and no proof of a biological relationship, she’s unlikely to succeed in her application, so long as you do what you need to do and face the proceedings head on and sensibly.

It’s definitely been confirmed that the only order that was made that Monday will be the next hearing, it states I must attend and the reason we’re going is for the other person to apply for a child arrangements order. Permission will be decided on the day, this was confirmed over the phone and by the letter. The legal adviser wrote the order. And I’m literally sticking to the facts, there has been no contact with my baby, there’s been endless offers but the OP was determined to take it to court because it should be on her terms and not the terms of the children. It clearly shows there is no respect for me as the mother to my children and the impact of that could effect my children massively. The last straw was the name calling, shouting and swearing over the phone. Whatever she may think of me personally, I am the woman that is raising my children and go above and beyond for them everyday, if she cannot show any respect towards me then why should I allow her in my children’s lives to manipulate them and in time try to turn their heads against me. I’m hoping she lets herself slip up in court on Monday to reveal her true face and how she really speaks to me because last time it was literally like sitting with a different woman and the court were under the impression we were the best of friends, this was an act.

Another area I want to address is the break down of the relationship with my ex due to her behaviour, it put a lot of stress and pressure on both of us. She never allowed us to be a family and for us to be parents. I know my ex sees this clearly now and I highly doubt he will be speaking to cafcass, he’s completely fed up too and doesn’t want us to argue over this anymore because our arrangements are working at the moment and we get on very well which is positive for the kids.

This is the most bizarre thread I have ever read. Adamant she didn’t have a leg to stand on to panicking

The only thing the court will be interested in is your child’s right to a relationship to their family

Yes she will get permission the test is low and she sees your daughter. The only reason cafcass would have said it’s not for the court is if you told them she was not her granddaughter

All I can do is let others decide right now. And I never spoke about DNA to cafcass, my ex isn’t on the birth certificate and we were unmarried and to be quite frank,until my ex comes forward and says legally she is his then I think that makes it my business and perfectly legally. And at this point I will not allow anyone to be around my children that is going to bad mouth me and my heritage and just generally have disregard for me as the parent, it’s dangerous for children to be caught up in this and I won’t allow my baby to. I agreed to contact with my elder Daughter and if I’d of known half of the things I know now then, then there would be no way. I’ve been more than accommodating but the games are over. My children are vulnerable and it’s my responsibility as an adult to protect them from these situations regardless of who the person may be.

Why do you keep saying legally? If he is biologically has she is his

If he doesn’t have pr that’s different but is of no real issues. It’s not parental rights it’s parental responsibility And that is what you have. This is not a right for you it is a duty towards your children. Duty. If there is a risk show evidence. Bang on about legal rights and you will soon lose the courts sympathy

Exactly. I have a responsibility to protect my children and shield them from any situations that would not be good for them. I gave consent for my elder Daughter to visit with her father, this is what was agreed. Her initial contact to start with was was I initiated but she took me to court in 2017 to have a visit at her home. To me I don’t think this is a valid reason to drag a child through the court system. When kids are so young the best place to visit them is always going to be in their comfort zone at home and with their main care giver. I can’t understand why a supposed loving family member would want to cause all of this trouble over having their own way. So far the court route has not really worked for her, it’s just aggravated matters more and I will not allow my children to be involved in this.

The OP is a very vocal woman and I’m not having anymore of my children hear anything negative about me. When you don’t get on with a person to this degree I don’t believe children should be caught up in this. As for my older Daughter she visits with her dad and has been for 2 years so there’s no need for an order, I have asked for this to be discharged. I did say to cafcass in 2017 that she would strike again, it’s more about the fight and the winning and not about the children at all. If I give in to her again then this will happen again and again. I need to stay strong and face her head on this time for the sake of my children.