Adjourned, dismissed or full hearing?

[user1499775533]

I was due to attend the Family court with my exes mother on the 11th of September but unfortunately my grandmother suffered a major stroke on the 5th of September so understandably I didn’t attend as I have more important things on my mind. I emailed the court explaining and giving my grandmothers name and ward number but have heard nothing since! Cafcass did say that any contact with my baby would have to be arranged between my exes mum and myself but they also suggested sticking to the no contact that the police had put in place to prevent her abuse and harassment. My other threads explain it all. I also recieved no safegaurding letter from cafcass prior to the court date. I’m just wondering if the court has thrown it out seen as she’s never seen my baby and in legal terms is no relation. I did email the judge when I first received the papers asking for him to change their mind based on all of the facts so unsure if this has been accepted. Also on the same application for my baby she’d asked for a whole day with my elder Daughter who she sees for 2 hours a month with her son then she asked for a separate contact order with my 1 year old who she has never seen!!! I’m hoping a court can see her games and see the pattern that’s forming and hopefully put an end to it. Any advice would be appreciated.

.

At least find out the outcome though!

I should,but at the moment I don’t need the worry and distress of it all if it’s bad news. The main part of me going to the police to start with was for my own well-being as that effects my kids and I need to protect them from these things. I do not want my children being dragged through courts when it’s not necessary, all so people can continue manipulating and bullying using the family court to hide behind.

The outcome is the outcome and you have to know it eventually so why not now?!

It sounds like you are avoiding court because you might get news you don't want. That's not how the world works.

If you’re breaking a court order, even one you don’t know about there’s going to be a lot more distress coming your way. And the police will absolutely not be on your side then.

Just grow up and phone the court tomorrow, you’re being ridiculous.

I have been informed an order for my baby wouldn’t be possible. And the police actually suggested asking for a contact centre for my elder daughter because there is a PIN in place so we would not be able to have any form of contact now and if she does then she’ll be arrested.

Have you been informed by the court? Or by someone else?

Because you need to call the court tomorrow to find out what has actually been said. You’re currently just plucking facts or things you’ve been told out of thin air and actually have no idea what’s going on.

A solicitor said this. He said certain applications get filtered out before court as a way to protect mothers from any unnecessary upset or applications that appear so helpless that they wouldn’t stand up in court. And at the moment she gets the contact she wanted as my daughter visits with her dad as requested by her. And honestly I just cannot face calling that place again, I’ve wasted a lot of time calling, emailing ,writing and worrying where it has effected my health massively.

Well if you won't do the one thing to find out then you're not going to get anything from this thread.

I do think the family courts need to be more vigilant to these kind of people that continue to use the court as a way to carry on mentally abusing their victims but perfectly legally. I consider myself to be very vulnerable and over the years the blackmail and threats have taken its toll on me. I sympathise with anyone in my position. I’m just so grateful my ex isn’t like this too as the police said it’s more common in ex partners.

Maybe I was just looking for some positive reassurance and possibly someone’s personal experiences.

What did you think we could offer? Personal experience of ignoring court because we don't like it? No, cupboard bare on that one. Engage with the process and don't waste time doing it.

Hugs to you OP. I get where you're coming from.

Can a friend or family member call for you and at least act as an advocate/assistant and filter the news to you as you're ready?

The thing is, if you don't turn up to a hearing without just cause (and nothing you have posted leads me to think the court would think you had a good enough reason not to turn up) the judge would most likely have allowed the application. If you don't turn up you don't get to frustrate the workings of the court. the case will proceed without you as if you had no objection to the proposed order.

I would assume the grandmother has been given leave to issue her application.

Assuming that's the case, you'd better reconsider your policy of refusing to engage.

As others have said, nervous & stressed or not, you need to ask the court.

All of the OPs threads are exactly the same. She refuses to engage or listen to any view that doesn't chime with her own. She was planning to conceal (as far as I recall) the parentage of youngest child to frustrate fathers family. There is no point responding to the OP unless you simply agree that she's right, her made up solicitor advice trumps a judge's possible decision. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Even if they have adjourned to re list they will likely have made some sort of order to run until your return date.

We have just been for a non mol against my partners dx and she never showed up, she submitted evidence electronically which she didn't show up to explain and is now subject to a 12 month order with a significant zonal exclusion around our property and main part of town.

At least you've dropped the bs about him maybe not being the dad.

I had emailed the judge explaining my current situation (with proof) asking for it to be adjourned. This was nearly a month ago and I have heard nothing. It was a first hearing, so I’m assuming this would be for the permission to go through for my baby. The baby she has never seen. Cafcass did say it would be more about my elder daughter going for 4 hours and with regards to my baby it would fall onto us to sort out, if anything.

Its not about me refusing to listen or engage, it’s about me finally standing my ground against a controlling bully and refusing to be manipulated. I am the mother to my children and I won’t let them be dragged through the courts when it’s not necessary. So easy for these people to blackmail, threat, lie, intimidate and scare you into doing what they want because if all else fails then they’ll take you court but this time I’m not taking it lying down. I just hope you never find yourself in a similar position because I can assure you it isn’t nice.

Just email the court asking the outcome or if a hearing date was rearranged. The rest is pure speculation and you are going round in circles. It is not about them, you are dealing with a third party, so be neutral rather than emotional. Did you take any legal advice?

Yes I did get legal advice and they told me to stand my ground and if I don’t want to hand my baby over to her then that’s my choice. They advised to ask for the current consent order to be discharged for my older daughter as she has always visited with him and his mother told the police too that we have had no direct contact in 2 years and definitely best that way. My ex partner has refused to talk to cafcass as he thinks his mothers behaviour is wrong and he holds no PR for my baby and doesn’t wish to. I did tell cafcass the last time that I suspected she would continue making applications until she has some kind of 50/50 contact with my daughter because she has no boundaries or a sense of feeling at how her behaviour effects everyone. I’m a reasonable woman but I think right now I have to stand my ground and show her I won’t be intimated anymore. I am not a bad mother, I have no criminal convictions or under the local authority and I’m saying I will not hand my baby over to anyone unsupervised. And especially not under the current circumstances

Not sure how avoiding finding out the outcome is standing your ground really. Better to know and be confident you have the legal opinion in your favour.

The application was very confusing because she was asking for a whole day with my elder Daughter and regular contact with my baby 🤔even cafcass were confused at her demands. If she was a regular granny just wanting to see her grandkids I’m sure she’d want to see them together,but it’s not about the kids at all. It’s about the fight to win and try and cause problems between me and my ex.

There’s much more to this than just this. My previous threads explain more. This is the woman that destroyed my relationship with her son. Has blackmailed no end, lied to try and cause problems between me and my ex. Even had the nerve to tell my 3 year old I’m a b&@£@!!! She had made racial remarks about me to her other sons girlfriend and posted very racist content on the internet. There has also been issues with her other sons girlfriend and herself regarding their child. The list could go on, but this time I didn’t hold back with cafcass as I know I can’t allow another one of my children to be caught up in this. I’m all for family because that is important to me but realistically my baby is not missing much and she will not get the opportunity to whisper things in her ears too