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Legal matters

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My partners ex is taking him to court.

212 replies

threeprincesses · 06/06/2019 14:38

Hello,

Me and my partner have been together for 10 months now, I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant with our daughter. I have two other daughters from a previous relationship and he has his daughter with his ex. My partner and his ex have had a very sour break up, she really resents him for leaving and when they bicker she is constantly stating how he made the choice to leave her and their daughter. She was absolutely furious when she found out about me and that has made the situation between them very bitter. In February I met their daughter for the first time, we took her to the sea life centre and a few weeks later my partner uploaded a photo of us all. We've both blocked her on all our social media but she somehow had seen the photo and left work early, drove to their daughters nursery picked her up and took her home. This was in my partners time with their daughter, she text him telling him not to bother picking the child up as she already had, he wouldn't be having her as she wasn't allowing him to play happy families, use her child as pawn and upload pictures of her child with me. She stopped contact for two weeks. In this time my partner contacted their mediator who wrote a court order for him and applied to court. They went to court and he was granted every other weekend and every other Tuesday he would have their child over night and his mum would look after her on Wednesday whilst he worked, then he would have dinner with his daughter and drop her back home for 6.30pm that evening. At the time he was living at his parents house and this was all going smoothly. My partner moved into my home on May 11th so informed his ex about this a week later when he had his daughter for their weekend together. He told her that she was spending her first weekend at my home. His ex hit the roof saying she was calling the police and they will be coming to remove the child and bring her home. This all had happened late that evening so it was left until the next day. The next day my partner went to his parents house and called his ex, his parents recorded the phone call and she was screaming down the phone about how he's a liar, she's been looking on my social media, she's seen that I've been looking to swap homes on housing exchange groups etc she asked where her daughters sleeping. He told her that his daughter was sleeping in my two little girls bedroom with them, she was in a toddler bed. (She stated in their last court hearing that she wanted her child in a toddler bed and not a travel cot or anything else other than a toddler bed) and that their child was happy and had nothing to worry about. He said he will write my address down in their contact handover book and he would send her a photograph of the bedroom. It's a huge double bedroom with more than enough room, space and toys. She declined his offer of the photograph and asked what was going to be happening with the Tuesday contact. He told her it would be unfair to have their daughter stay at my house on the Tuesday as that would mean waking her up at 5.30am to take her to his parents house before he left for work. So she was staying at his parents (her grandparents) house on the Tuesday evening, he would have dinner with her, bath her and put her to bed there before he came home, then after work on the Wednesday he would go straight over have dinner with her, spend some time and drop her home at 6.30pm like normal. She wasn't happy with this as he wouldn't be caring for the child overnight and threatened to stop the midweek contact. By this point he was exhausted of arguing so his father text her asking her not to stop the midweek contact as that would be breaching the court order. Well nothing has been said since, we have been having his daughter like normal. Until yesterday, a letter turned up for him from the courts saying she has applied to go back to court. She made the application the following Monday after the weekend she was told about all of this. In her summary she's written that my partner has breached their contact order by making the agreement under false pretences, she said that he is not living at the address he stated and that her daughter is sharing a bedroom with two other children under 5 and she would like the court to review the court order and put more detailed guidelines in place and she also wants minimal contact from her child's father to reduce the conflict. My partner did not make their agreement under false pretences. The court asked where he lived at the time of the court hearing and he stated his parents house because that is where he was living! Their court date is in July and we honestly just can't believe she's dragging them back to court over this. Has anyone been through similar or could offer any advice?

OP posts:
mimibunz · 10/06/2019 13:10

You’ve snagged one of life’s prizes! Poor kids.

Shequakes · 10/06/2019 13:25

TheLoneWolfDies get over yourself.

I didnt say they didnt have the right to comment. I was simply pointing out the hypocrisy of the poster.

And policing the boards is havent your say. Its trying to stop other people having theirs.

TheLoneWolfDies · 10/06/2019 20:24

Shequakes and I was pointing out the hypocrisy in yours. You're welcome 😘

TheLoneWolfDies · 10/06/2019 20:26

Oh and by the way, you did have your say. Nobody stopped you, but the repitition is honestly sad. I would call it less policing and more sick of reading the same thing over and over again 😂

threeprincesses · 11/07/2019 12:41

Just a little update -

The hearing went really well. They said there's no issue with my partners daughter sharing a room with my girls, so that got completely shunned off, they've exchanged the Tuesday overnight for Tuesday and Wednesday evenings and she now has to do part of the picking up! We're really pleased. Again, thank you to all those who gave helpful advice.

OP posts:
swingofthings · 11/07/2019 19:46

OP, it will get easier. She is reaching defensively as she still not over the hurt and what she considers a betrayal on his part. Sadly, her extreme reaction is most likely in proportion with his deceit as it almost always is, hopefully, history won't repeat itself, but for all it is worth, he sounds like a good dad and you a great partner. Hope it works out for you.

Fontofnoknowledge · 17/07/2019 18:16

Great result ThreePrincesses. and excellent to see that it is the exact result the family lawyers on here gave you. I am so sorry that your thread turned into a Jeremy Kyle style bun fight when you asked for LEGAL advice. It must just have been a dull few days for all the opinionated witches over on AIBU. I hope things start to calm down now .

Nautiloid · 17/07/2019 18:24

I can see her point as well if I'm honest. It's all too chaotic with too much change in a short time for any child, no matter how laid back.
I probably wouldn't approach things in exactly the way she has, but I can understand her feelings.

Nautiloid · 17/07/2019 18:28

Sorry, that'll teach me to read the full thread!

Shmithecat2 · 19/07/2019 19:06

@Collaborate

There's giving legal advice from a position where you are informed by a number of years practice in this area of law, and there's thinking you can give legal advice based on little more than your own personal experiences and prejudices.

One of these people tend to value enough to pay for. The other is little better than speaking to a drunk propping up the bar in the pub on a Friday night.

Best post in this thread 🙌

Caucho · 19/07/2019 21:38

I thought this was legal matters and not the AIBU or Relationships boards. Some bitter people on here

Collaborate · 19/07/2019 22:53

@threeprincesses Thanks for the update. Pleased it went well.

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