The mind numbing boredom of infertility IV

[PotatoesPastaAndBread]

Yes it's the return of the thread where we're so fucking bored of being infertile and talking about infertility and thinking about infertility and worrying and infertility and learning about infertility treatment and explaining infertility to other people and making up lies to cover up for going for infertility tests and treatment that we can't even be bothered to think of a better name for the thread.

Join us if you are barren, bored and bitter, or any combination of the above. We'll listen to your tails of woe when everyone you've ever met upduffs in an instant, accompany you through the trials of tests and treatment and commiserate the inevitable setbacks and disappointments.

Welcome to the ghetto.

When I can work out links, I'll post linnks to threads 1, 2 and 3

Time to pull on my big girl pants, a close friend has just given birth. I can do this.

Ok I'm not sure I can actually... Help! It's not something I can take a step back from either, I see this person every day for unavoidable reasons.

Huge deep breaths Closephine. It is hard dealing with these things, I normally put on an award winning performance, smile, say all the right things then go home and cry into a bottle of wine.

Closephine you can do this. If it helps, I usually find actually seeing the baby is not as bad as dreading it beforehand? If they are a good, close friend I'm sure they'll understand if you don't want to hold the baby or if you cry. (I'm presuming they know about the infertility?)

Best of luck closephine. It's really hard.

I'm off for baseline scan tomorrow. Terrified I'll have a massive cyst or some other curve ball. This dr is 24 days and counting....

Thanks all, I cried so much when she told me she was pregnant that I really want to hold it together when I see the baby. I don't want to make another of her moments about me. She does know about our problems though and I know would understand, but still. It's taken the last 6 months to get over the awkward sobbing event, can't go back there again!

Good luck today Bean hope it all goes smoothly with no cysts or curve balls.

Good luck bean - for what it's worth, I still had my favourite cyst on the left ovary but they went ahead with my IVF cycle and said they often treat women with cysts. Glittery shit today.

I am going slowly doolally. I think we should report the 2ww to the court of human rights as a form of torture. I don't even know if our bean is still there or not and if my desperate 'get comfy, settle in' thoughts are going nowhere.

I know that pea but they want me cyst free this time. I was scanned before dr and was cyst free but it'll be just my luck.....

fourpaws - get your DH to have a strong word with your MIL and point out that 'think of others' is definitely not being applied in your case. Whoever the shower is for won't mind in the slightest if you don't show and you can always send a card afterwards explaining. Thank god I have no close friends (or nearby) family so won't have to put up with that shit.

I am back from ET and have two on board - one good blastocyst and another that was just on the turn (into blastocyst) which I am over the moon about. Never been so nervous in my whole life in that waiting room - hadn't heard anything since early Friday morning so was imagining the worst. Other 4 are behind so unlikely to be able to freeze but tbh I'm just overjoyed to have got this far.

Oh, and good luck to bean!

Closephine, best of luck, and if you do cry she will understand.

Hope you are cyst free today Bean, they are an effing nightmare.

Tammy, that's great news, fx for you. When is test date?

Pea agreed! How long until you test? I find it particularly difficult towards the end of the 2ww.

So I have failed to down reg correctly. Baseline scan and lining is 7.5mm and a 2cm cyst. Needless to say I therefore can't start dr!
Spoke to consultant Start pessaries today until weds. Then should hopefully have a bleed 3-4 days later. Rescan on d2-3 of bleed. If lining thin and cyst

Arggh bean

Afm, I test Sunday morning with bloods on Monday. To be honest I am not holding out much hope. The pmt symptoms all disappeared late last week and only appear again shortly after each arse bullet. Today I have monster thirst and tension headache (usual period precursor) and the exact same discharge that happened the day before my period came on our IUI cycle. I know implantation can cause some bleeding but this isn't spotting as such.

Closephine i second the advice to look out for yourself and push for others to be sensitive to you as you are to them

Tammy, well done! Good news

Bean, sorry that's really annoying. Sending you the week to carry on!

Agree the 2ww is a head fuck peaop, hang in there!

AFM I got my period so early I thought it was implantation bleeding. I don't know why I torture myself like this. Having a good old drink tonight as it's clearly a period. I think I might be peri menopausal as my cycles are getting so short.

Thanks potatoes. Sorry about your AF - mine have also been weird lately, this month I've been spotting since 9dpo AF still hasn't arrived properly at 15dpo. Bfn obviously. Last month spotting started at 3dpo so it was basically all over before it even began. Wish I knew why it was happening. Hope it's not menopause for either of us. That would really take the biscuit!

Fourpaws I don't know much of the background but it sounds like your MIL is behaving dreadfully! How selfish. Can you really not go? I didn't go to my SIL's (who got upduffed first month trying) and gave no excuse. I don't see why you should have to even give an excuse - it's not like they're a long standing tradition! I generally find them tedious occasions and thankfully most people I know (even those with babies) share my views!

PeaOp the 2ww is absolute torture. Fingers crossed for a BFP for you. Are you going to test early?

Potatoes my cycles have become a bit erratic too now from being a regular 28 days a year ago, then ranging from 22-27 and now my period has gone totally awol since my MC. Just no sign of it at all so god knows what's going on!

Great news that you've got 2 onboard Tammy. Everything tightly crossed for you. When is OTD, and are you an early tester or will you sit tight until the day?

Hang in there pea. The last week is a special kind of hell. I bled at 8dpt last time which was pretty horrendous but saved me from the final week of torturous waiting at least. Pathetically clinging to small mercies! Am hoping hard for you!

What's happening with MIL four? Hope the situation hasn't been too stressful.

That sounds so bloody annoying bean. At least they have a plan b. Hope the cyst disappears.

I think it's impossible not to torture yourself with hope potatoes. I do it every bloody month. What's next for you?

Afm, did intralipids yesterday - went privately as my NHS clinic wouldn't approve. Wasn't too bad - 2.5 hours on a drip whilst I worked as normal. Bit of a funny tummy after but only mild. Scan tomorrow to check all OK to schedule transfer. Stomach already bruised and I've not even started the Fragmin and lubion, so I'm going to look like a regular junkie soon.

Also loosely thinking about a plan b if this cycle doesn't work. Open day booked at local private clinic and will contact one or two abroad to start the ball rolling. Registering with a new GP too. Then a holiday around Christmas. Oh and a proper weight loss regime to shift this half a stone of belly fat I've aquired of late.

My OTD is two weeks yesterday but only a masochist would want to get a BFN first thing on a Monday morning so will definitely test the Saturday/Sunday before to give me and DH time to recover if it's a BFN.

Hello all! So missing this connection.

Beakybeak, thanks for asking about flight. I am still in the US for my family birthday celebration - all lovely, but I don't really recommend jet lag plus early pregnancy symptoms. Severe exhaustion which needs to be hidden from everyone. Fly back tomorrow night and privately counting the minutes.

Closephine, I see only a couple of days have passed since your friend gave birth - have you had to face up to it yet? I have always had a habit of crying when I meet a newborn - they are so tiny and pathetic. I just try to ignore the tears slipping down my face and just keep repeating 'he/she is just SO beautiful, SO beautiful'.

Tammy I am SO delighted to read of your two blasts on board! Congratulations!! My two were very similar - one looked good, and one more medium. I am now 4 weeks and 5 days pregnant and starting to feel quite nervous (and won't deny that the possibility of twins has begin to drift across my conscious). Are you using Cyclogest, and any other drugs? I am just using Clexane - my tummy looks gross. I got a BFP at 8dp5dt - based on all the other experiences I read on here, I would think you are totally safe testing on the Saturday.

Bean what an anticlimax for you - I am so sorry to hear this. I have everything crossed for you that your bleed arrives, and you can starts stims very very soon.

PeaOp how are you today? Any developments? I agree with others to try to mentally hang in there. The 2WW is nothing short of torture, and if they could have sent me to sleep for the duration I would have been delighted. For me it as the permanent period pains (which I still have) which threw me entirely. Then I had some brown, then pink, then brown discharge for a few days. I don't get it.

Potatoes, very sorry that this isn't looking good. How are you today?

Tiger, any news on today's scan? I hear you on the get fit regime. If my current BFP does not continue I have work to do.

Icy - how are you, and how many pregnancy tests have you done so far this week?

Finally, Banana, how are you doing? Having a well deserved break, and drinking yourself silly, as we all would do?

LH> Just on Cyclogest which is making me a bit doolally plus sore boobs. Have stocked up on Dulcoease as per your tip (man that stuff is expensive!) just in case.

How long til your scan? It seems like time moves extra slowly for the barren, even when they beat the odds like you!

Hi Tammy! I now take two DulcoEase every night and I am pooing every day (and not in an agonising way that feels like an embryo will be forced out at same time).

I hate Cyclogest but I can reassure you that the side effects started improving as I became acclimatised to all that progesterone - probably after about ten days of use.

I was fearing someone asking me about a scan. The Lister has invited me in for a scan at the 7 week mark which is around 13 October. Clearly I am not waiting until then.

I have also reconnected with my obstetrician (Mr Teoh at Lindo Wing) who delivered my son. He wants to see me if I make it to 7.5 weeks. (He is a twins expert so he is all excited - grrrrrrrgh).

He said if I was desperate to 'count some sacs' then I can go to the Gynaecology Ultrasound Centre on Harley Street when I get back from the US. If I wait another 1.5 weeks then there is a chance I could see heartbeat.

I dunno - other than extreme tiredness and jet lag (yes still after 4 days in the US) I don't feel very pregnant. Tests still say positive but feeling nervous. Will be happier when I get back to London.

Thinking of you Tammy - the days will pass I promise! But I hated the Cyclogest side effects most just after transfer, which is the stage you are at. I hope it gets better for you too.

Hi all. OTD yday (positive) so called clinic and they booked me in for early scan on the 11th. Haven't pissed on owt today, so panicking now. Bought a load of cheap amazon strip tests to keep me sane. Feeling entirely normal... Tired but I'm always fucking tired! Sorry at work now, will catch up properly this arvo on train home. Muchos glitter shit.

So happy to hear that Icy!!! Many congrats.

Is this your first ever success? Your first ever BFP?! This is Fxxking marvellous!!

Tell us more when you have time.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2742709-Having-first-child-at-40-would-you-do-it-again

Would someone just smack me in the face for even engaging in discussions like this? Why did I start?

icy - yay! Your update has made me smile at the end of a long and trying day.
Hang on in there lh - home soon.

Afm, just a little pink then brown discharge. No sign of AF so far today (randomly usually start in the afternoon) so hoping I have made it one day further. Now one week post 3d. Have to do arse bullet whilst on night out tonight, that will be fun!
tammy I can confirm that the cyclogest symptoms got better a few days after transfer and now only get sore boo age etc just after administration...