The mind numbing boredom of infertility IV

[PotatoesPastaAndBread]

Yes it's the return of the thread where we're so fucking bored of being infertile and talking about infertility and thinking about infertility and worrying and infertility and learning about infertility treatment and explaining infertility to other people and making up lies to cover up for going for infertility tests and treatment that we can't even be bothered to think of a better name for the thread.

Join us if you are barren, bored and bitter, or any combination of the above. We'll listen to your tails of woe when everyone you've ever met upduffs in an instant, accompany you through the trials of tests and treatment and commiserate the inevitable setbacks and disappointments.

Welcome to the ghetto.

When I can work out links, I'll post linnks to threads 1, 2 and 3

[TammySwanson]

Cautious congrats from me too. I think you do need to call them, there is no way you can go ahead with IVF next month, whatever happens, and they can advise you on what to do (and release your appointments for someone else maybe - can't remember if you are NHS or not?).

[fourpawswhite]

Thank you flirty, and thank you for asking after me earlier in the week. I just saw that today.

Tammy, yes, someone else could have it so I will do that, whatever will be will be for me.

I have emailed the consultant asking her to call me. Now I wait.

Ps Tammy I agree re aibu. Normally I am not bothered by it. But the last few weeks, meh. Have hidden the whole section. It's quite liberating.

[Sara237]

Hi fourpaws,
Just seen your posts. I second the advice re contacting the clinic. If and hoping things progress you won't need the cycle. Exciting but yes certainly a headfuck! Everything crossed for you. Oh god!

[closephine85]

Good luck Fourpaws - hope they don't take too long to get back to you. And fingers crossed that the darker line on your test means this is the one.

[fourpawswhite]

How's everyone else. Tell me a story. Xx

[beanhunter]

My story is that I can't have another cycle of treatment before we move house so now have to research new clinics in new cities. Oh and currently have a vomiting bug and have watched 9hrs of Netflix today.

[PeaOp]

I have spent this evening babysitting for a friend whilst googling fertility clinic price lists....

[fourpawswhite]

bean, pea. As I keep saying, I am sorry.

You are all so important to me. And I regret posting this morning. Because I know how I would feel if it was you. It took me so long to do it. And I am sorry. I just needed someone to talk to. You know I have been here before, and I'm scared.

Bean, where are you looking to Move to? That's rubbish re vomiting bug, I have only had it once, unfortunately when my mil had a heart attack and was in hospital, it was horrid. Netflix sounds good.

Pea, I'm also babysitting. Nephew and nephew. Separate SIL. One has just asked to talk to me and said he's being bullied. he's cosied in watching tv but at age twelve had a big cry.

[voxnihili]

Sorry to those of you who have had bad news, and good luck to fourpaws.

I've had a real emotional rollercoaster over the last couple of weeks. DP and I had finally managed to have the conversation about seeking help if I wasn't pregnant by the summer (the problem largely being his ED). In the meantime I decided to get a couple of tests done privately to put my mind at rest so I would be able to just 'go with it' for a while before starting to panic.

I got an amazing promotion at work which I've been working my butt off for ages to get so was on a complete high. The day after my test results arrived back and my AMH puts me in the 'low fertility' category at 33. I feel devastated. I only had the tests done to put my mind at rest. The AMH level could be a lot lower so I feel like I should be relieved, but I'm not as it is still low fertility and even without DP's issues it makes things harder.

DP read the report and their list of suggestions so we've decided to start using things like OPKs which we hadn't done before due to it putting more pressure on him. I've also got a doctors appointment booked for a couple of weeks time.

I can't turn to any of my friends as they've all recently had babies and I can't cope with talking about it whilst they're sat smiling at their baby. I had one friend who I could really confide in and she's older with grown up children, but I'm now her line manager at work so not sure how I feel about opening up now.

[beanhunter]

Four. Don't apologise for posting. Moving to Notts.

[PeaOp]

four never apologise for asking for support. That's what we are all here for. I can't imagine how you feel at the moment.

[flirtygertiefromnumber30]

Congratulations on your promotion vox!

Have you read It starts with the egg? It's all about how you can improve your egg quality with diet and supplements etc, it's quite interesting <a class="break-all" href="//www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00J9Q3NQ4/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">//www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00J9Q3NQ4/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

It's so hard when friends don't understand how you feel but that's why I come here because I know you all do!

Take care everyone!

[Pebbles086]

Hello everyone, I am not sure if anyone is about to start a self funded cycle but I have two boxes of cetrotide that expire in Oct 17. I would love to know they got used rather than binned, I am happy to send them if needed. Pls DM if they are needed.
fours I hope your clinic are supportive during this early stage for you and what shock you must be in. Hoping things go well.
Best wishes to everyone else too

[fourpawswhite]

Congratulations on promotion vox.

I second flirts suggestion, good book. I also have low amh but never knew that until after failed IVF, so was late to researching that.

I spoke to consultant this morning. Scan on Friday and will see her after. IVF cancelled.

I still feel like I'm in a daze. Tmi keep going to toilet every five seconds to check for spotting. Got a sort of pulling pain in left side, sore boobs but that's it.

Shall update Friday. X

[flirtygertiefromnumber30]

How was the scan fourpaws? Hope all OK!

[fourpawswhite]

Thanks flirty. Had scan, there is a pregnancy there. dh very very emotional. Which shook me up. I was ok. Just have to relax (ha) and go back in two weeks for another scan. Not sure how I will manage that but am sat downloading books onto kindle in my Jammies.

I don't feel pregnant though. . Just scared. X

[flirtygertiefromnumber30]

Ah congratulations fourpaws, can understand your worry but jammies and books sounds like a good way to relax to me! What are you reading?

[fourpawswhite]

Thanks flirty. Just started lies, TM logan. Downloaded a few then couldn't decide where to begin. Seems ok, so far. Do you read a lot?

[flirtygertiefromnumber30]

Not heard of that one fourpaws but just had a quick Google and it sounds interesting! Yes I love to read, just finished The Night Watch which was good. Not sure what to go for next.

[fourpawswhite]

I never thought I would like a kindle but I actually like the recommended section because I have stumbled across lots there. Have not read the night watch so will look at that. I spent so long yesterday browsing I didn't even get started reading till today. Dogs have been walked so I'm heading for a bath and chilled afternoon watching badminton and reading.

[flirtygertiefromnumber30]

Bliss! Have a lovely evening

[closephine85]

Fourpaws - just checking in to see how you are doing?! Really hope all is well for you.

[fourpawswhite]

Thanks close. I'm ok. Quite anxious and worked up. Had a huge bleed a couple of weeks ago and assumed the worst. Went for confirmation scan and have something called a sub chronic hematoma causing the bleeding. Fairly common but not good with my history. Pregnancy was ok but next few weeks critical. Just a waiting game and back early june to see how things are. No symptoms at all which is scaring me.

How are you, commented on your dress thread. Love chichi. You look stunning.

[closephine85]

Oh god, it can never be simple can it? Sorry to hear about your bleed. Everything crossed that when you go back all will be fine. I think having no symptoms (or much more mild ones) and all being well is more common than we realise, you just don't hear about it because there's nothing to complain about.

I'm at a stand still at the moment. Had a non fertility related operation about a month ago which the surgeon made a mess of and so I have to go back for another one this week. Same surgeon so I'm a bit nervous! Need to get all this out the way before we can think about going back for FET.

I saw your comment on the dress thread, thank you part of the reason I want to feel so good at that wedding is because three lots of close friends are going to be there with their brand new babies. I keep benchmarking against the failed ivf; if it had worked I would have been 5 months pregnant, starting to show etc I got some really nice comments on there which was a nice confidence boost at least!

[beanhunter]

Hope things are going ok four? So we went to visit the new clinic yesterday. Thanks

We liked the consultant. We went through what's happened to date. She recommends short protocol, which I'm pleased about as it's psychologically easier (esp after last times failed down reg). Only reservations was that she seemed to push pgs and embryoscope quite hard.
Also offered a multicycle finance offer which is only 2k more for 2 cycles than for 1 and would include any frozen cycles. So lots to think about really.

tbh pgs is an irrelevant question (and ££££££) until we see how I respond. In my head I felt only worth it if 5 or so blasts. Did feel like a bit of a money spinner but I think she was just trying to give us options.
So package sounds a good option except we had said this was our last go.... also have the option for the refund policies but that's quite a bit more (though still less than 2 fresh cycles).
Scary getting back on the horse.
Oh and how we laughed yesterday after the scan showed I have ovulated from both sides this month and the sonographer said she hoped we had tried this month and might have twins....