FET Sept/Oct

[Lolly2803]

Hi ladies,
I am due to start an FET in Sept/Oct and wondered if anyone else was too?! Had my first cycle of IVF in August but due to fluid in my uterus and thin lining had to freeze everything. I seem to always have fluid mid cycle, including natural cycles. Very worried that it will always be a problem and will never get to use my embryos. Having a hysteroscopy the week after next to check incase anything in there but doc suspects not. Would be great to have a few buddies! xxx

OTD is on the 7th. Won't test early because I had a trigger shot.

I always get symptoms on progesterone but I got extra symptoms with my BFPs. Did you get implantation spotting this time? I have with both my BFPs so will be looking out for that like a hawk. xx

Beautiful blast!

We both cried at both our transfers

I guess I was lucky with progesterone, I don't seem to get any symptoms with it - although the only times I've been on it have been post ET when I was off all my pain meds and so my body was too busy being in massive uncontrolled pain to notice anything else

I didn't get any progesterone symptoms but neither did I have pregnancy symptoms. I felt a bit periody the first time and hoped the pulling was the mythical implantation cramping. But didn't have many pregnancy symptoms even when pregnant. Apart from some cramping and massive norks. Oh and all my joints falling apart due to the relaxin. The embryo was chromosomally normal so my lack of symptoms didn't mean anything BTW!

I didn't have any symptoms second time around either but I just had a feeling it hadn't worked so wasn't surprised when it turned out to be a chemical at 5w.

Eeekkk! Yer try and hold out if you can, hard though it will be I'm sure! Nope I didn't get any spotting at all and haven't had any.

The progesterone gives me sore boobs but I had cramps in the 2ww for the first 2 days then nothing for a few days. Then I had mild off and on cramps/twinges and waves of queasiness and heartburn for the last few days before OTD. That's it! Could have been all the meds though I'm on so many! xxx

Ahh. I think I'm dead inside, I was just obsessed with how much I needed a wee.

With DD, a couple of days before my BFP I had a very bright, luminous blue vein in my boob which was odd. But I never had any other boob changes even up til when she was born.

I'm basically obsessed with implantation cramping and spotting as I've had them in the past, I can't envision a BFP without. But each scenario is different I know.

I've had mild cramps off and on the whole time to be honest. My boobs are quiet full at the moment and I'm usually quiet small in that department. And they are really veiny and sore!!!

Banana I cried too! My DH didn't but I could tell he was emotional. He did cry when we got the BFP phone call as did I!

I think feeling periody is quiet normal for a while - accordingly to my internet stalking!!

Number is 872 tonight. So that's 609 - 872 in 47 hours. Am thinking this is all going to go wrong. Trying to prepare for the worst.

Lolly if you've had two embryos put back and the betas flatten that COULD be a vanishing twin and nothing more sinister - everything crossable crossed for your scan. We're all here for you xx

Just feel like it's not doing what it should be. It's more likely to just be a prolonged process of ending up with a big failure. Just can't take it.

Keeping fingers crossed for you Lolly. As Banana says it could be a 2 becomes 1 type situation but totally understand the torture!! Are you just going to keep getting betas done? Xx

They told me to come in again on Monday so it will have been over 3 days since the one I had yesterday. Then they said to have another on the Friday. They want to leave more time between them. They didn't say they were overly concerned but I'm sure they are just trying to make me feel better given the waiting...trying to prepare myself for the worst and get my head around it being over. The only way to cope i think - which at the moment I'm just not doing now. From what I've been reading the numbers are high but they just aren't going up quick enough or consistently enough. But there's a story for everything online isn't there!

How are you feeling today Bear? xx

Yes there is! Try to stay calm and distract yourself over the weekend.

Just had my acupuncture, he seemed really happy with how i was, strange psychic witchery that it is I'm going to go park on my sofa with tea and snacks now. Our DD was up in the night with her cold so I'm shattered x

Good plan Bear! Stay nice and warm and snug. I've got to do some baking for my nieces birthday party tomorrow.
Trying to distract myself but keep randomly crying.

Oh Lolly! Honestly, HCG going up is good - it could not be going up at all without a little wriggler plugged into your womb lining. The range of HCG that counts as 'normal' is HUUUUGE - check out this page, seriously there's a 100x difference between the bottom and top of the range at 3 weeks post-conception.

I found the first month on progesterone post ET really hard - one evening I got home and cried for an hour without even really knowing why! Am now at 5 weeks post-transfer and things seem to have calmed down.

Think back to a few weeks ago when you didn't think it was possible to have a decent lining, let alone a successful embryo transfer - your body has done so much more already than you thought it could, I know things can still go wrong but all the signs for you so far are good and I'm sure this isn't your last chance if they weren't!

Bear and Banana, so happy to read your news over the week!

Less than a week to go till my scan - sooo nervous!

I know you're right CSA but just feels like this is all going to go wrong. Why isn't it going up quicker as it should? Just can't imagine it's going to be ok and after how far we've come just feels so cruel - life can be a fu**ing bitch sometimes.

Just trying to get through the days.

Morning ladies, how's everyone feeling today? You doing ok Bear? xxx

Morning! I can feel sweet FA so not looking too promising i don't think

It's been a weird week for me all round. A few of my best mates gave birth and another couple have announced pregnancies. For the first time I'm actually struggling to be happy for others, which is a shame.

How about you? Are you managing to sleep ok? Xx

Aw Bear I wouldn't read into anything you never know what's going on in there and it's soooo early it would be impossible to read into anything. Must be hard hearing all that news though. I'm struggling a bit with that too. Sometimes i am fine and then other times it just makes me feel sad / desperately envious.

I'm falling asleep ok as I'm really tired in the evenings but I wake up really early and then can't get back to sleep. Just lie there wondering what's going on and whether this is going to go anywhere. The not knowing is just the worst. Wish somebody would just be honest or tell me what the situation is so I can try and deal with it. Not that I have much / any hope. Just struggling to keep it together really but what choice do I have?! What choice do any of us have?!! Amazing this time last week I was SO happy - fast forward a week and I'm a total mess. Ah life!!!

Big hugs Lolly. It's just completely shit the not knowing - sending you love and hugs. I really hope it's a vanishing twin and you have a fabulous little goer bedding down in there. Hope you and DH can be kind to yourselves

Hugs to you too bear. I find the pregnancies and baby announcements just stab me through the heart. Friends are on their second and I honestly can't see we are going to ever get to have a baby, it feels like they are moving further and further away from us and we just don't have any part in their lives any more

AFM I've been at home up north visiting my dad, for the anniversary of my mum passing, we went to the cemetery and gave her a clean and polish and just generally had some dad and daughter time. I like to check on him to see he's doing OK (he is), was nice to spend time with him esp as DH and I won't be coming up for Xmas. We can't face family jollity (I'm from a Jewish family where Xmas isn't a big deal so not spending Xmas together isn't such a big thing) and are just hiding out at home the two of us. It's really sad for my dad because both his kids are struggling with infertility and miscarriage - we don't have a mum and apparently we aren't able to have children of our own either.

I really hope my younger brother and SIL don't have to go through IVF, as hard as it will be when they have a baby and we don't, I really don't want them to go through what we've been through.

Yep with every birth/ pregnancy I feel less able to deal with it now. Big hugs to you Banana, can't even imagine what you're going through Really sorry about you Mum. How many years ago did you lose her?

My sister is having IVF (male factor). The fresh cycle failed and they're having a FET in December. My parents are bemused and saddened by it all. They only had to look at each other and my Mum was up the duff

Thanks bear - we lost my mum 4 years ago. She was 62 - I was 31 and my brother 28. She wanted to die at home and thankfully as my brother and I are self employed, we were able to drop work and go home to be with her and nurse her at the end (it was very quick - Drs reckoned 10 weeks but it was only 10 days). I can honestly say that infertility and miscarriage is the hardest thing I've ever experienced. When mum died it was devastating but there was a certainty and a finality about it. We could grieve and accept it because we knew she wasn't coming back. With infertility it's a never ending grief, as we're grieving for the loss of hope and it's the uncertainty that means you're never able to move forwards

My brother and SIL have been seeing my Dr actually. They fell pregnant first month of not trying not preventing but she miscarried at 6 weeks. That was 18 months ago and nothing since. SIL saw my Dr who did a hysteroscopy and removed a polyp, which I'm hoping will do the trick. But that was July and nothing since.

Family get togethers are hard because our cousins all have kids and their own parents, and we just feel very out of place with neither. My mum wasn't able to see either of her kids get married, let alone become a grandmother. I feel very bitter and angry about this very often - it's not one of my finest qualities. Xx

I'd say you're more than entitled to be angry and bitter. You've had the roughest of times. The prospect of possibly not even getting a nice/nephew must be v sad

But definitely don't feel bad for negative emotions - you're allowed!! Xx

Banana you really have had such a shit time. Lovely to spend some Dad and Daughter time, bet it means a lot to your dad. I'm sure your mum is looking down on you and is so proud at how brave and strong her daughter is. I know what you mean about infertility being an endless stream of hope and grief. The not knowing is the worst, being stuck in some weird place where it feels life is moving along but you're just stuck - unable to plan and move forward. It's just awful.

Bear sorry to hear your SIL is suffering too. Do you guys speak much about it or are you not that close?

Been at my nieces 2nd birthday party today. She's lovely. My parent know what we are going through but nobody else does. It's hard. Especially at the moment where i just feel like bursting into tears every 5 mins. I don't know anyone else other than you ladies who have had trouble conceiving or have gone through treatment. That's kind of why we've not told anyone. Don't see the point as they wouldn't understand anyway!

I just can't understand why the levels are going up if it's going to be over? Would that happen? Would they just go up slowly and then start to drop off? I'm having more bloods tomorrow but won't get those results till Tues. The clinic don't really say much which doesn't help either!

My sis and I are generally really close. We don't talk about infertility much as we had a little falling out - she doesn't acknowledge that we are being affected by infertility- partly because we never 'needed' IVF with DD and now it's secondary infertility she doesn't have any time for it, saying anything over and above DD is a bonus and our pain is nothing compared to hers. I'll remind her of that in a few years when they want another baby

Their first cycle was a chemical/pregnancy of unknown location. The HCG rose v v slowly for weeks, so slowly that they had a BFN then only found out it was a BFP a week later when she didn't bleed and they re-tested. After some scans to rule out ectopic the hormones started to drop off, then she had a normal period. I think the highest her beta ever got was 600 ish, about 3/4 weeks after BFP.

Try and hang in there, it's still looking pretty good for you I reckon xx

Aw that's a shame you're not so close on the infertility front though it's difficult i think. I think you are very lucky to have DD of course but that doesn't mean you only get 1! as Banana once said "it's not top trumps" and someone else having good luck or success doesn't mean it makes less likely to work for you or takes away some of the success allocation!!

Wow that must have been difficult for her - where was the pregnancy do they know? Having it drag on like that must be the worst though. Had a bit of a family day today and I do feel lucky to have a close, happy, loving family and a DH I love very much. Whatever happens we will get through it. Would just be good to know where we stand. Had heartburn and the odd wave of nausea still which does feel kinda cruel if it's going to all come crashing down!! Hopefully we will know more Tuesday after tomorrow's bloods. I dunno, something weird is going on either way!!