FET Sept/Oct

[Lolly2803]

Hi ladies,
I am due to start an FET in Sept/Oct and wondered if anyone else was too?! Had my first cycle of IVF in August but due to fluid in my uterus and thin lining had to freeze everything. I seem to always have fluid mid cycle, including natural cycles. Very worried that it will always be a problem and will never get to use my embryos. Having a hysteroscopy the week after next to check incase anything in there but doc suspects not. Would be great to have a few buddies! xxx

Echoing Lolly - I don’t feel very strong. I just feel broken and numb. I honestly don’t think this is ever going to happen for us and I’m very scared. I’m trying to look upon the coming months as time for me to adjust my expectations and come to terms with not being able to carry. Which breaks my heart

again everything crossed - cramping could be a good sign, it was for me! I felt really periody before I got my BFP in Jan - unfortunately there is no way to tell if that feeling is because AF is brewing, if it’s a side effect of the progesterone, or if it’s a BFP sign. The only way is to test - with FMU!!

Lolly in your fresh cycle with Gonal-F did you have oestrogen pills / patches as well as the stims? A combo of lots and lots of natural AND artificial oestrogen was the key for me. I know what you mean about feeling rare - I really wish I was a boring, pedestrian case, without anything remarkable. Would be a lot easier to be straightforward and uninteresting!

My Dr’s absolute minimum for transfer is 7mm - preferably 8mm. The US Dr I had a Skype consultation with about my lining and about surrogacy said I shouldn’t go ahead with an ET unless I had an endometrial thickness of 8mm. My consultant said he has had pregnancies in ovulation induction cycles of 6-7mm, but for an IVF cycle he wouldn’t want to risk a precious embryo in a suboptimal uterine environment.

We also agreed that if there was any question mark over the integrity of the endometrium that it wouldn’t make any sense to transfer more than 1 embryo, regardless of PGS being in the equation. The only reason to transfer more than 1 (untested) embryo is to increase the likelihood of putting back a chromosomally normal embryo. A successful pregnancy depends on a competent embryo AND a uterine environment that can sustain a pregnancy. With my lining issues, we felt it would be crazy to put back more than 1, lest we ‘waste’ a precious embryo.

If the embryo(s) are normal, but the lining can’t support a pregnancy, then putting back 2 doesn’t increase your likelihood of getting pregnant. Obv if the lining IS decent, then your odds of twins go up dramatically.

It’s really up to you how much of a gamble you are willing to take. Having lost two perfect embryos to a poor quality endometrium, I personally would err on the side of caution, as the stats for pregnancies below 7mm are much much lower. I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer, but I think it’s important to discuss this with your Dr and weigh up the pros and cons and come to a decision that you and your DH are comfortable with.

BTW when embryos are frozen it doesn’t matter whether they were frozen at day 5 or 6 - the clock basically resets. A slow grower is a problem for a fresh transfer - if it’s not at blastocyst stage by day 5 then it’s likely to miss the implantation window. However as long as it’s made blast by the end of day 6, once it’s frozen a blastocyst is a blastocyst.

I did all the old wives tales about lining friendly foods etc but ultimately the value was in making me feel like I was doing something positive. Ultimately it’s down to science and luck - keeping everything crossed for lots of both of them for you

Period cramps is what I was having for about 36 hrs before I got my positive, I had got several negatives before then and had really given up. I think it's really dependent on loads of things because your urine is not always going to be ab accurate reflection of the levels in your blood. Hang in there till test day...

Sorry; last post was just in reply to Again (started writing it an hour ago!)

Banana, I'm so sorry. My heart is aching for you x

Hi Banana, honestly i think you're doing the right thing preparing yourself for not being able to carry. Not because I think it won't happen but because if it does come to it'll mentally you'll be ready to take that step right away. Theres nothing worse than a shock in this process so I think being prepared is always a good thing. Although I'm sure everyone on mumsnet that knows you is hoping and praying this happens for you. xxxx

AFM, I haven't had any of my blastocysts tested so I have no idea how many are normal - I've only got the grades which obviously is all about looks only. My rationale for two was that it would increase my chances of putting one normal one in there! The day 6 ones are frozen together.
I know the optimum is not 6.1mm (hoping for a miracle from the Neupogen of course) but I've never had an embryo put in before and if my fluid is always there it means I may have never got pregnant because of the fluid. Part of me thinks we should try with something when there's no fluid there. Yes the chances are lower but there is still a chance.
During my IVF I had the patches and the tablets as well oh and not forgetting the fluid.

The dr at IVF told me that it was likely I wouldn't get many/any eggs as I hadn't responded well. And she said they'd likely have to go on abdominally to get them. I went into EC with very little hope and came out with 10 eggs of which 9 were good and mature! Nobody could have predicted that. So I feel like maybe this could be the same?! I know the likelihood is slim but the only thing stronger than fear is hope and at this point that's all I've got left.

Banana your story is heartbreaking.

Why do bad things happen to good people?!

Took another test this morning with FMU and it was negative. I feel like I've already had my one shot, a healthy pregnancy and growing baby and he was taken away from me too early and my life has been ruined by the experience.

Lolly and Banana - I really do feel so much for you both, it is so unfair. It is ironic and cruel too that you both have these great embryos waiting for you. As difficult and heartbreaking as it could potentially be, you are definitely right to consider alternatives. At least you will know in your heart of hearts that you tried everything first.

Again - I'm so sorry. How many days is that now? Your OTD is Saturday? It could well have been that you have now tested the trigger out of your system and that you had a late implanter, which is common for FET, so please don't give up hope. I can understand why you would feel despair though, so big hugs to you.

Banana - it's interesting what you say about early blasts missing the implantation window. My clinic are infuriating me this month as I am sure they are contradicting themselves. They said if this blast was frozen now, it would be frozen at day 6. But they want to put it in me on day 5. So they would give it an extra day in the petri dish but not in me. I asked if they would transfer on day 4 and they poo pooed it but I'm going to do a bit more research and maybe speak to another embryologist for a second opinion. This is our last remaining embryo, and my fresh cycle I had a dire fertilization rate of 7% so I'm desperate not to waste it.

Well it's another two negative tests for me today. I can't see how it was faint positives earlier in the week and now nothing and then suddenly change to strong positive in two days' time.

I am completely distraught. Have been crying all afternoon and DH coming home early to console me as I think I am really on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Again - I am so so sorry. It's not over til it's over but I would be drawing the exact same conclusions as you and it's the worst feeling in the world. There's nothing we can say to make it better but we're here for you xx

Again I am so so sorry. It's not over yet but I can completely understand how you feel. Nothing we can say to make you feel better but I'm thinking of you and praying there is still a positive outcome. xxxx

Ladies I went to the clinic today and can you believe it my lining was 7mm!! The dr said it looked much better today and there was only a tiny "insignificant" amount of fluid. The Dr drained what was there and did another wash. They then scheduled my ET for next week Thursday! She said I need to start cyclogest on Sat and come back for a blood test on Tuesday but they aren't going to measure my lining again. I can't believe it.

Loll that's such amazing news! I am so so happy for you especially considering the news you received a few days earlier. And only 1 week to wait till your first ET! We'll be here with you every step of the way xx

I've been prodding my cervix and it feels high-ish and quite soft so I think that's a good sign - a sliver of hope yet remains

Lolly that's fantastic! Very excited for you this time next week you'll be PUPO.

Again - no peeing on sticks for you today, lots of pampering xx

Lolly that's SUCH brilliant news! So excited for you.

Again, praying for you for tomorrow. Lots of pampering for you today and tomorrow.

Too late I tested when I woke up with FMU. Still negative.

I don't know where to go from here. This whole saga has put a monumental strain on DH and I. We love each other but the last two years with infertility, IVF, losing and burying our baby has been too much. I'm falling apart.

We sold our house to move in to larger rented accommodation when I became pregnant earlier in the year and now there are two of us knocking about in a 5 bedroom house with no expectation of a baby anytime soon. It just seems so ridiculous and a complete waste of money.

I'm at a complete loss as to where I go from here.

Again - so sorry. Life is so shit sometimes.

At your follow up consultation, I would ask them to be really honest about what they think you can realistically do and how soon. I know you had a really bad reaction to egg collection last time but got lots of good ones, so they might suggest going easy on the stims, which would be kinder on your body. Also try to remember that your experience the first time might not be anything like the same the second time. I know people who have had vastly different reactions on different cycles. It's so hard but try to be kind to yourself in the meantime and give body and soul a break.

As for the house, no one can make that call but you and OH - moving house is such a hassle but you might find knocking around in a smaller place easier. When our DD was born we lived in a 1.5 bedroom top floor flat and managed fine until she was 18 months old. Try to do some fun things together to take your mind off it all, go for some long walks and some nice dinners.

Big hugs to you xxx

Again I am so so sorry. I can't imagine how you're feeling but i know how much the disappointment hurts. I agree with Bear about asking your Dr what you can do next time and I know EC wasn't a nice experience but you got great eggs which is fantastic. Perhaps have a meeting and then plan to start in the new year after a month of R&R with your DH. It does put a strain on relationships so some time away together before starting again will help for sure. This time may not have been the time but it WILL happen for you. I'm thinking of you so much and sending you the biggest hug xxxx

I'm kind of ok about it all now. I called the clinic and they said stop the progesterone as they want to put me out of their misery.

I wasn't overly keen on a summer baby and will tell DH I want a break over the next two months (what's the bet I get pg naturally because I'm not thinking or stressing about it!!) then try naturally for a few months then start a fresh cycle in March maybe.

You've all been a tremendous blanket of support and wishing you all well on your journeys.

I might go and get myself a part time job or do a few art/design or language courses to fill my days over the next 6-12 months.

Taking a break definitely sounds like a good idea, you guys have been through SO much this year

Definitely time to look after yourselves for a bit and find other things to enjoy before gearing yourself up to it again. I know it may not seem like it with your experience but it does sound promising for the future, especially with your drs being able to know what happened last time and how to stop it next time.

X

Again, i am so sorry but glad you are feeling a bit better and have a plan in your mind. You've been through so much you probably need time to recover; emotionally, physically and mentally. I think a break will do you some good and secretly I reckon you'll get pregnant naturally!!! But if not then you know you can do it again and it can work.
I'll be here to keep you company and to chat any time. A course sounds great, maybe that colour one you mentioned!! Sending you such a big hug and get yourself a nice glass of wine xxxx

Hi ladies, how's everyone doing on this chilly weekend? xxx

Hi Lolly, you getting excited for next week?

AF showed up today so I'll be going in for baseline scan tomorrow or Tuesday.

It's bloody freezing! Just want to hibernate now...

I'm just really nervous! My lining was 7mm on Thursday before I had the second wash but I had to start cyclogest on sat morning so no idea what my lining is now and they're not measuring it again. I'm so nervous about it all. I go through waves of excitement and then thinking about what it would be like if it worked and then my mind wanders into having children but then I have to reign myself in and not get my hopes up as I'm always disappointed!

SO excited for Thursday Lolly! (Just don't do what I did and drive yourself crazy testing waaaay to early - lol easier said than done!)

Bally freezing here also - all the renovations have us currently with ONE functioning radiator!

I'm not surprised you're nervous! Easier said than done, but just try to take it one step at a time. Each stage is like a mini hurdle.

It's good to get excited and feel positive though, my reckoning is that you're going to be devastated if it fails weather you've been optimistic about it or not, so you might as well go in with your positive guns blazing, and benefit from all the feel good hormones in your system.

I've had a fairly boozy week, today at lunch will be my last before this cycle, hopefully my last for a while! And I'll have to somehow cut back the caffeine too, zzzzzzz.

I'm trying to take each day as it comes - it's just hard when I've spent the last 6 months building myself up to getting to ET! But you're right Bear.
CSA I won't be testing until OTD. I don't see the point in testing early and being left in a torturous state of wonderment! I'd rather know a definitive yes or no. I've got a feeling the wait to OTD is going to be the longest wait of my life!!!

Bear enjoy the booze while you can!! I'm getting used to no caffeine now and although I miss a really good coffee I'm actually alright. First few weeks is tough but then it becomes the norm - along with taking 10 tablets a day and shoving 2 cyclogest up your bum!! The things we do!!!

Aw csa hope you're not too chilly. It's getting freezing!!! Big jumpers and cosy night in by the fire have well and truly started!