FET Sept/Oct

[Lolly2803]

Hi ladies,
I am due to start an FET in Sept/Oct and wondered if anyone else was too?! Had my first cycle of IVF in August but due to fluid in my uterus and thin lining had to freeze everything. I seem to always have fluid mid cycle, including natural cycles. Very worried that it will always be a problem and will never get to use my embryos. Having a hysteroscopy the week after next to check incase anything in there but doc suspects not. Would be great to have a few buddies! xxx

Hey ladies, how is everyone doing? xxx

Hi Lolly, not bad thanks, how are you?

So much better now I've had a bleed - proper closure and also feel more physically myself.

Oh that's great Bear. Glad you're feeling better! Is OH away yet or have you had a chance to talk?
I am ok thanks. Just waiting for AF so I can get started really hoping she comes tomorrow!

Yeah we talked a bit last night - basically she thinks that going over everything all the time like a constant background monologue is really unhealthy, and boring. So for example going for a lining scan and then discussing maybe the transfer will be on this date, or it could be on this date. She thinks we should just wait until we know what date it is, and then plan accordingly rather than talking about what ifs all the time. And I know I drove her absolutely mental insisting on POAS every day from 7 days. I completely agree with her actually, and I've started to practice starting conversations about other stuff if I get the impulse to talk about the next round. Hopefully this will keep us both level headed ;o)

Ultimately the less intrusive I can make the treatment to all of our lives (and it affects me the most, which is what she can't stomach) the less stressful it will be, and the more likely she will be to let me keep trying!

She sounds exactly like my OH! Every time I say "well what if the fluid is there and they can't thicken my lining...it'll never work. We'll never even get to try" he always says the same. "Let's just take each day at a time. We will get there. There's no point thinking about that at this stage". He doesn't see the point in hypothesising. Where as I just have to in my mind!! But again as we've said I think that comes down to us being the ones going through the treatment. But I have to say when I've rained it in and just not spoken about it like that we've been much calmer and I've been less miserable and angry! So it's def worth a try. You can use us to chat and analyse and hypothesis and then be cool as a cucumber at home!! xxx

It's so true - sadly, fertility treatment can take over your thoughts and turn you into a crashing bore if you let it! Ha ha.

OH said ultimately we can only show up to the appointments, pay them the cash, do as we are told and hope for the best. If it works out, amazing. If not, at least we won't have wasted a load of our time obsessing about it too.

Mumsnet: boring people on the internet so your OH doesn't have to listen to it.

Omg it really can. I literally don't even want to see anyone at the moment. You're OH and my OH have got it right really but unfortunately I think when you're the one doing the stabbing, having the prodding and poking you can't remove the emotion from it all. But actually I think it helps us to have people like that as partners. If our OH's were the same as us it would probably be an absolute nightmare!! Sometimes a pragmatic comment from my OH can relax me a bit or shut down some of my irrational thoughts (although sometimes it does make me want to punch him as well)!!! I sound like a crazy woman!!! From your posts you sound much more positive which is great though :-)

:o( It's hard but try and get out and see your friends. You'll be glad when you have done it. And maybe go out for a lovely dinner with your OH and treat yourselves a bit. I always find that helps. xx

My clinic gets me to retest a week after otd. Today's is only a faint positive,i think weaker than last week's. They seem completely unconcerned and congratulated me, said continue on the drugs and booked me a scan for 27th. Am I just being paranoid? Are tests variable and not always that strong for everyone? I thought at 22dpo levels should be really high so I am worried something is not right :( I haven't particularly had symptoms in the last few days but that is hard to be sure about. Extra tired though.

Thanks for reading, sorry to have to post something like this, didn't know where to ask. Will probably do a few tests before scan. Feels a long time to wait, hope there is some chance of seeing something still there and that I'm wrong to worry. I'm not sure I'll be able to stay optimistic.

Hi Mist - I know it's hard but try not to worry. A positive is a positive. My clinic don't get us to re-test, so both times I've been pregnant I have tested on OTD and then just showed up for my scan a few weeks later, so I don't have any experience of testing that late. But by all accounts HPTs are infuriatingly inconsistent, hence all the insanity on boards like this so please try not to read too much into it xx

Mist I'm not sure about pregnancy tests but I agree with Bear - a line is a line. Can you have an earlier blood test to get a more accurate read on things and to put your mind at rest? xxx

Hi ladies, just catching up on this thread. We have guests over for the week so it's been a bit manic!

Mist I know the feeling very well, if it makes you feel better when I was pregnant with my son I was testing every few days even after OTD and even after a positive test... The lines were still quite faint for around 3 weeks after OTD.

Why don't you try a clear blue digital test that simply says 'yes' or 'no' and you won't be squinting at lines. Or like Lolly said book an appointment at the GP and ask them to do a blood test: the blood test will show exactly how much hcg you have in your blood stream and from that level can say whether the pregnancy is looking viable (I.e. High enough levels of hcg) or not.

We're all here for some handholding with you xx

Thank you ladies, really helpful to get a few replies so quickly! You have made me feel a bit better. My clinic doesn't offer betas. I might try asking GP but not very hopeful. I suppose even those can worry us unnecessarily!

Will hold on and will appreciate some hand holding! At least I haven't had any bleeding.

Bear, glad you and OH have come up with a plan that might help. Good to know how she sees things. I think I would be a bit annoyed if mine told me similar! But we have argued during the process, so ultimately whatever helps make it less stressful and damaging to your relationship has to be a good thing! As long as you do have the outlet and support elsewhere (here!). If you're really having a hard time hopefully you can still talk to her, but just not as a first port of call with all the little details :)

Hope you manage to get some answers Mist. Ultimately I know I would never stop worrying until the scan (and beyond) anyway so it's impossible to be re-assured, but hopefully your GP (or EPU, although I wouldn't bother with the hours of queueing) will be sympathetic.

I know what you mean about being annoyed - If I wasn't so bored of myself going on about everything, I probably would have been annoyed at having it pointed out. But given that I'm boring myself half to death I'm taking it on board! 10 months is a long time to have the same exact conversations every month. xx

Hey ladies! How are we all doing? Hope you're having a nice weekend. My AF arrived yesterday so I'm off to the clinic tomorrow for a scan and to start meds! Feeling excited but VERY anxious X xx

Hi Lolly that's so exciting! Eek! Hope it all goes nice and smooth for you.

I'm onto the next thing now. Went to the clinic this morning to see the consultant. She wants to do a change of approach this time so I'm booked in for an endometrial scratch in 2 weeks (Halloween!) and then starting a natural FET cycle roughly a week later when AF comes back. It's not a great blastocyst but it might work and either way I want to draw a line under these frosties before Christmas.
xx

Thanks Bear. Started on Progynova today and then will add the patches from Wednesday. Also trying some antibiotics to see if that's does anything to ward off the fluid! Got to go back next Tuesday for next scan and will also be having a Neupogen wash. Banana sent me an article which i sent to the Dr and she says they do offer it so we are going to try that too.

That's great you've got a plan in place and I'm sure your frostie will be fantastic so don't worry. . Not long till you get going either!

Glad you've got started Lolly! And you and doctors have a good plan to try and combat this fluid.

And Bear, glad to see your update. Good that you can try again soon and also using a different approach.

I was struggling to see myself waiting another 10 days so rang the GP. I didn't really expect them to offer a beta but they have! First done today. I was all in a fluster, picked up form from them and thought I'd lost it and my purse between there and the hospital! Toddler in tow. But found both, got blood taken, and kept her happy, phew.)

They'll take another sample in 2 days to see if it's rising properly. Hopefully get results on Friday. (Maybe the first number on Weds).

Hope it doesn't just confuse matters and make me more anxious but I think it was worth risking to feel like I'm doing something (other than pointless HPTs) and get an idea sooner than the scan.

Aw HelloMist what a day!!! That's great they have agreed to the betas and hopefully will put your mind at rest. Hope Friday comes around quickly! Keeping everything crossed for you! xxx

That's good that you have an understanding GP. Good luck and keep us posted xx

The results are going to be quite slow. In the meantime I had red/pink in my crinone last night and brown light blood this morning :( have rung clinic and they said hang tight until scan, no use doing blood or scan but some women do bleed and it isn't necessarily bad news. After a while she said I could test on Monday and let them know if that's negative or if more bleeding. Not feeling positive and DH doesn't know what to say to me apart from distract yourself. They said to try and rest though.

Hi HelloMist - sounds like a stressful time!

Spotting isn't necessarily a bad thing, really try not to worry. Rest up, but if the pregnancy isn't viable there really isn't anything you or any medical professional could do about it and nature will take its course. I've been there myself and it is rough. But keeping my fingers crossed for you that it's just old blood/irritated cervix or whatnot.

Distract, distract! And chocolate xx

Hang in there mist! I agree with Bear that spotting isn't always a bad thing. Try not to worry until you've got the results, as Bear said there's nothing you can do but wait. Sending you a big hug. Let us know when you hear back. We'll be here! xxx

Thank you both! You were right that it could've been OK still.

Unfortunately it isn't in my case i rang the GP again and they chased up the results. They were both too low for there to be any hope, second one almost nothing. Looks like my suspicions/fears were right. I think it classes as a CP from talking to the clinic. They want me to do a test tomorrow but stop the drugs if that's negative and not even go for my scan

I think I sounded rather calm on the phone to her just now! But have cried a bit already and was already thinking of practical questions. (Whether to stop drugs). No doubt I'll have more crying and lots more later.

I already didn't feel pregnant and the weak tests just didn't seem right, so at least it's not completely out of the blue. It's hard that it's so black and white now but I think I do prefer that to more uncertainty and raised hopes. DH I think would've preferred to wait until the scan and not have done the blood tests :/ I felt like I needed to do something though. Like you said, Bear, nothing anyone could've done, it wasn't meant to be.

I'm sorry you (and others here) have been through it. This is my first experience of loss.