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Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Original poster

FET Sept/Oct

996 replies

Lolly2803 · 02/09/2016 17:36

Hi ladies,
I am due to start an FET in Sept/Oct and wondered if anyone else was too?! Had my first cycle of IVF in August but due to fluid in my uterus and thin lining had to freeze everything. I seem to always have fluid mid cycle, including natural cycles. Very worried that it will always be a problem and will never get to use my embryos. Having a hysteroscopy the week after next to check incase anything in there but doc suspects not. Would be great to have a few buddies! xxx

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Thread gallery
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HelloMist · 07/10/2016 18:24

Considerations pineapples!

HelloMist · 07/10/2016 18:24

Pineapples

HelloMist · 07/10/2016 18:24

Argh! Autocorrect

Original poster
Lolly2803 · 07/10/2016 18:49

Congratulations pineapples!!!! xxx

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Original poster
Lolly2803 · 07/10/2016 19:00

How bear and banana how are you doing today? Hope everyone's got some nice weekend plans.

I've put the heating on!! I can't get warm so I've cracked and am snuggling on the radiator!!!

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Bear2014 · 07/10/2016 19:21

Wow congratulations Pinkapples! Amazing news !

I'm ok thanks, just enjoyed a pint of cider with the NCT mums and toddlers, and life a lot better.

Hope everyone has a good weekend xx

AgainPlease · 07/10/2016 19:56

I've not cracked with the heating yet but the fire has been roaring most of the day!!

FET Sept/Oct
Original poster
Lolly2803 · 07/10/2016 19:56

Aw that's lovely Bear. Hope you have a relaxing weekend xxx

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bananafish81 · 07/10/2016 20:47

Congratulations pinkapples!!

Original poster
Lolly2803 · 07/10/2016 21:48

Looks cosy again!!! Need to get our fire on xx

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pinkapples · 07/10/2016 22:21

I'm freezing as no heating! Boiler broke and we have someone coming on Monday to fix it so a chilly weekend for us lol
Thanks everyone xxx
Hope you've got nice things to do this weekend.... we have an open fire but haven't used it yet don't know how Hmm

Bear2014 · 10/10/2016 09:43

Morning everyone

Hope you all had a good weekend.

We've had a really weird one, had the in-laws staying who don't know about this most recent FET so in a way it was nice to avoid constantly talking and wallowing about it all weekend but also really weird not to be able to talk about it with the OH at all. She's really strangely mute and withdrawn about it, and I'm not sure if it's a combination of that and work stress, but I get the feeling she's sick of the whole thing. She won't leave an embryo 'behind' in the freezer, but I definitely get the feeling that she is wondering if it is all worth it, and if it is compromising our lives and DD too much. I personally feel that by giving up now or after the next FET, it will have all been for nothing and we would be failing DD by not trying our hardest to give her a sibling, but I guess these are all things we need to discuss when it's all a bit less raw.

Got my follow up appointment next Monday with the consultant. I'm going to ask about possible investigations such as Hydroscan, endometrial scratch, and any other 'add-ons' or upgrades they think may be worth trying such as lubion, clexane etc. Anyone else have any ideas what to ask?

In the meantime I'm going to do the 5:2 diet for the whole of this month leading up to the next cycle. I have gradually been putting on weight all year with this rollercoaster and if we go on to do a fresh cycle in the new year I need to get my BMI down. It's hovering around 29-30 I think. When I did my fresh cycle in July I think it was 28.5/29 and when I got pregnant with DD it was more like 26. Gaah!

Hope everyone has a good Monday xx

Original poster
Lolly2803 · 10/10/2016 14:19

Hey Bear,
Glad you had a nice weekend for the most part. Sometimes it's nice to be completely distracted. But also tricky if there's no time to chat properly if that's what you want to do! I don't have any tips on what to try for future but does sound like you and OH need a proper chat. If like you say she won't leave one in the freezer then you've kind of already come to the conclusion you'll give that one a try. Why don't you focus on that, see what the Dr says at your follow up and then go from there. Then see what happens with that FET and then you might be in a better position to consider any future treatment if required (hopefully it won't be). But just focusing on one hurdle at a time sometimes without making too many big decisions is sometimes easier to digest. Also sometimes when I'm upset/struggling emotional I go all mute. And then my OH never knows what to say to me so doesn't say much or mention anything treatment related. Perhaps the same for your OH? Also difficult when you're not the one having the prodding and poking I'd imagine as you're watching the person you love go through it physically and emotionall but also going through it emotionally as well yourself but not feeling as justified to feel as emotional as you're not the one having the physical side (if that makes sense). Sounds like you need some nice relaxing time together to gather your thoughts and just be together. Sorry can't be of more help but it's still very fresh and raw so just be nice to yourselves. Xx

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HelloMist · 10/10/2016 14:51

Maybe your OH needs time, Bear. As you said, it's raw now and you haven't had time to really talk. I hope you will get that soon (when you're ready). Perhaps the follow up will help get her thinking. Will she be there too? I'm glad the weekend has been a good distraction in the mean time.

Think Lolly is right about it not being them having the physical treatment. I don't know but I imagine that makes it harder for mine to connect with the process. He sometimes gets/got fed up with me talking about it (or quietly switched off while I was talking).

My day's been OK so far although DD is fighting naps atm and I'm pretty sure she still needs them!

Bear2014 · 10/10/2016 15:13

Thanks both. OH is actually in New York next week for 5 nights with work. I was dreading it but now I'm really pleased - I think it will be good for her to get some distance and perspective, and for me too. We'll chat this week I'm sure, when she's ready. I think that is true about the physical treatment side of things. She was involved with DD cycle doing all the injections and the egg collection but it must all feel quite remote these days, not even going to the clinic. It's always been my thing sorting out the family 'admin', as her job is so busy and stressful so she's not used to having this much head space demanded of her, outside of work and just general family time. She's also way more financially responsible than me and will be worried about the massive dent in our savings.

I think we need a change of approach for the next cycle/s in that we need to just kind of go through the motions and not talk about it to anyone or even really each other. Almost just let it happen in the background. I'm so jealous of couples who can just go about their lives and one day come to the realisation that they are pregnant. I want to try and replicate that experience as much as you can when the only thing penetrating you is an ultrasound wand - ha ha.

Original poster
Lolly2803 · 10/10/2016 15:34

Bear I think you should talk about it but maybe in more of a relaxed way (which is bloody tough I know). It's a tough tough time - the toughest I think! Everyone deals with things differently and you just have to find a balance. You'll get there and maybe like you say her going away for a few days will give you both a bit of breathing space.

Oh to be a straightforward couple eh?!!! We're here if you need us :-) xxx

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AgainPlease · 10/10/2016 16:55

Like others have said Bear I think the time apart will help things. It's such a stressful time for couples and I really wish no one has to go through what we do.

Ladies I have a question: was just at the Lister and I asked about the grades of my frozen embies. They were both 4B (day 5 blasts). Is that good?? It doesn't sound good and now I'm paranoid they won't stick.

The embryo which turned out to be our son was text-book perfect AAAA... Which makes losing him even more painful :(

Original poster
Lolly2803 · 10/10/2016 17:20

Hey again. I had two letters in my grades from my clinic so not sure if they mean the same but I know from that 4BB is good quality so I wouldn't worry at all! I think the fact they have frozen them also means they are good quality. I've also read on here before ladies that have had AA's fail and CC's that implant and go on to have healthy babies so I think grading is just how they look more than anything. And you know what they say....don't judge a book by its cover!!!!
Although I'm no expect as I've not been to ET before so some other ladies might have some more accurate advice! xxxx

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AgainPlease · 10/10/2016 17:56

Oops I didn't read the chart properly, my first was 1AA which is perfect.

I think you're right though - I don't think they'd freeze false hopes. I just can't stand all the waiting and wishing and worrying all over again :(

Original poster
Lolly2803 · 10/10/2016 17:59

I know what you mean, the waiting is absolute bloody torture. And I've not even been through the total shit you have and it's still bloody awful so can only imagine half of what you're feeling. But I wouldn't worry about your embryos grades, they sound great.
What date are you going in for your scan & starting meds?

xxx

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AgainPlease · 10/10/2016 18:32

I had my first scan today but this time around I'm not taking any meds. We are doing "natural cycle" which means they'll just track my ovulation - so I'll be going back and forth to the clinic every 4 days or so - and they will see how my follicles are growing and as soon as one hits 16mm and my lining around 7-8 then they will do the actual transfer a WEEK after that. Didn't think it would be that bloody long. Just seems like every day is a year at the moment. I think I still have to jab myself with Ovitrelle and will definitely have to take cylogest for the first 12 weeks but then continue with cylogest until 36 weeks or so (that's what consultant at the hospital said) :/ :/

All my bloods are still within date expect my thyroid which I need to go back in for to test - hopefully no problems with it!

Urghhhhh just put me in a time machine and transport me to middle of next year when I hopefully have a healthy little baby in my arms

Original poster
Lolly2803 · 10/10/2016 18:51

Aw again you'll get there I just know it. Hang on in there!!! I'm going in for my scan very soon. Just waiting for AF. Hoping she comes on Thursday but knowing my luck she'll be playing hard to get and won't come!

You're in the cycle now so just try keep yourself busy and be nice to yourself. Online shopping helps I find - or eating! I've put on a stone this year and I am feeling like a big blob. Reverting back to soups in the evening to try and kick start the weight loss! And gym 4 times a week. This process has really made me lose my mojo with all that stuff! So no baby and a muffin top!! xxx

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pinkapples · 10/10/2016 19:02

My DD was a 4AA blast and she's now a budding 3yr old lol The one I had for my bfp last week was also a 4AA so that's got to be a good thing although I could do with one minus the attitude lol Smile
Also I was told 12 weeks from cyclogest not sure I'll survive if it's 36 weeks!!!!
Bear - my OH struggled through all our cycles (2 fresh and 1 FET) as I think they just don't know what to say... give it time and hopefully when she gets back from her trip you'll be able to talk about it after some distance xx

AgainPlease · 10/10/2016 20:10

I know! 36 weeks of cyclogest!! Could barely cope with the 12 weeks last time. I have to take it throughout the whole pregnancy as apparently it helps with the cervical issues I have.

I was also really really ill in pregnancy - vomiting every day well beyond the first trimester. Not looking forward to that but I'd cut off my right arm at this point to give birth to a live healthy baby... although might be changing my tune once I have three-nager throwing tantrums Grin

Bear2014 · 10/10/2016 20:28

Thanks all.

On embryo grading, I'm determined not to get hung up on it in future. My DD was an AA blast but I've also just had an AA fail. I know people who have kids from B grade, C grade, and from teeny tiny day 2/3 embryos. You just never know.

Cyclogest is indeed evil but hopefully it will all be worth it xx