Oh lovely ladies, so many hugs
It's just SHIT
It's the permanent aching sadness of wondering if we will ever become parents
I'd go through more miscarriages IF I knew we would ever get there. But it's the shittest roll of the dice
If we redid the kitchen instead of spending money on IVF, at least we'd know we'd get a kitchen at the end of it!
Really hope you can be kind to yourselves 
Hugs to you all
AFM I had my hysteroscopy yesterday evening, Dr was very pleased, said he was feeling much happier having seen the endometrium was looking so healthy. There were some very very minor filmy adhesions, but these went as soon as he flushed with saline, nothing needed resecting. There was a small calcified area, but again this went with saline flushing, no instruments needed. Copper coil is in, biopsy is done: he said I'd probably feel quite battered as he flushed the uterine cavity out so many times (think he said something like 7?!) and he jacked my cervix open a fair bit
We knew I didn't have Ashermans syndrome, but we didn't know quite what to expect when he got in there. So very relieved to hear it's looking healthy, and we're at least starting from a solid base. The key test will be if I get a decent period in 3/4 weeks after my first HRT cycle 🙏
Realised my first egg collection was 12 months ago exactly to the day. 'Only' had 3 more ECs, 2 transfers, 2 pregnancies, 2 losses, 1 D&C and 2 hysteroscopies since then! Quite a year...