Should we cancel a family holiday after a row over a terrible argument?

[SillyPig]

There is a rather large argument between my daughter and my husband, and it is proving to be a persistent issue. We are going on holiday in a week's time, and my husband and my child are refusing to cooperate. My child refuses to be around her father because she believes he is anti-LGBT, and her coming out did not go down well with him. He believes they are talking stupidly.

Now, next week, we have a 17-hour flight to Australia, where the two of them will be forced to sit next to one another unless someone gives up their seat, which I think is unlikely. I fear the best option might be to cancel/not go on the holiday, but if I do that, I won't be able to get my deposit back. I don't know whether the holiday should be cancelled or whether we should just try to power through this rough patch in our family relationship.

I was thinking that since the holiday is booked through Tui, we could do some group or team-building activities together, like going to a museum or the zoo. But if I cancel the holiday, the tension in the house will continue, though I feel it could be resolved more quickly.

1. If the holiday is next week then you would have paid in full by now so would not be losing 'just the deposit'.

2. TUI do not do holidays to Australia.

@SillyPig
You could sit between them
Make the best of the holiday
And I think if it were me,
I'd not repeat

her coming out “did not go down well with him”? This is what needs addressing. I think you should talk to him first and sort out his shitty attitude and then when he can behave himself and put his daughter’s welfare over his homophobia then he’s allowed to come on holiday with you and/or stay married. This is a bigger problem than the holiday.

Exactly what I was going to suggest!

What homophobia? Being non-binary is not a sexuality.

Can I just ask, as ex cabin crew (left 3yrs ago) how have you booked a holiday to Australia via TUI? They don't fly to Australia? And if your flight is 17hrs that would mean you're flying with Qantas from LHR directly to Perth as that is the only non-stop flight from the UK to Australia. That's if you're from the uk that is. (Edited for typo)

I reckon this Op hasn’t been further than her kitchen for a long time now

She's not the issue, it's her dad who's got an awful attitude!

And what makes you think that?

I think I would be catching a different flight to them, 17 hours is a long time to be in the middle of it all. Could you change your flight and leave them to it. I’d probably be on the next flight out the country. On a serious note, they do perhaps need to have a conversation with each other trying to understand each other’s point of view and meet somewhere in the middle. If DD has come out, DH is going to have to get to grips with the idea rather than lose out on his daughter. I really do feel for you. xxx

This is huge for your daughter, she explains who she is and your dh doesn’t accept it. It’s likely that she has also realised she doesn’t know dh or like his views. You can’t make this better op. Dh needs to tread carefully to build bridges.

Really! I cant possibly beleive this post is real. You have a child who refuses to acknowledge thaf she is female and your concern is if you should sit between her and your husband on a flight on holiday. FFS.

It's not clear that the child is gay. I thought, from the OP's use of 'they', that this child is not gay but has decided that he or she was 'born in the wrong body'. The father may not be remotely homophobic but instead be refusing to conform to gender ideology and may be worried about the effects of puberty blockers/cross sex hormones/compelled speech. Indeed gender ideology is itself inherently homophobic ('if you like pink or are attracted to boys you must really be a girl').

This 👆 very strange!

Q: "Should I not go on holiday" A: no. You should go. I think it would help clear the air being out of the house togther. I think you are right, staying at home togther there will still be an atmosphere.

I’m probably one of many that wonders what the fuss is about. Aroace someone said previously means not interested in sex but only interested romantically? If I’ve understood correctly I would have thought Mum and Dad would be mightily relieved.
Leave all this until an adult used to mainly be the norm when young people used to ‘step out’ and really got to know each other before embarking on a sexual relationship and pre-pill obviously

What awful attitude? Genuinely confused where you can get that from in the OP.

You can’t get anything much at all from the OP.

In the immortal words of Toyah: Its a mystery, it’s a mystery …

He's not homophobic. She's not gay. She didn't come out as anything.

Thank you. Having now read the thread it sounds like @SillyPig got the answer they needed to the question they asked, which is good.

And also thank you for the Toyah reference. In the day I was a huge fan so good to know I'm not the only one who still just about remembers.........

He's probably a bit confused andcwho can blame him. What do you think this big revelation was exactly?

You dont have to affirm every bit of multi-coloured wokery to come out of a teenagers mouth.

Leave daughter at home to carry on googling absolute drivel on YouTube?

It really depends on how the dd is experiencing it and how the dad is putting his views across as I stated. If he's being domineering and abusive with it then yes that would absolutely be unsafe beyond just simply disagreeing.

Leave them both behind to sort it out!! Or its plenty of time for them to sort thinhs on the flight!!
Are you doing the non stop to Perth by any chance?