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Are we not allowed to be proud of our kids these days?
220

CornflakeMum · 14/07/2022 20:27

Would appreciate some other points of view on this...

Was out with some other mum friends this afternoon and we were catching up about various people we haven't seen for a while. One of the women started slagging off someone who wasn't there saying "did you see that she posted a picture on facebook at her daughter's graduation, making a big thing about the fact her daughter got a First Class Degree? Who bloody cares?"

I was a bit Hmm as I saw the post and thought it was OK - not over the top, just "So proud to celebrate X's graduation - First Class Honours in XYZ at Y uni..." that sort of thing.

What's wrong with that exactly? I know there are a higher % of Firsts awarded these days but it's still a wonderful achievement. Also anyone graduating this year has had to navigate two years of uni with the crappy covid situation, so all credit to them.

Are we not allowed to be proud of our kids' achievements these days?

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CornflakeMum · 14/07/2022 20:28

I was surprised to learn that the degree class isn't mentioned at the graduation ceremony either these days - according to DS it's "so that those that got less than a 2:1 aren't embarrassed and upset" Hmm.

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Shoopitypoop · 14/07/2022 20:29

Sounds like the person complaining was an arse TBH

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TeenDivided · 14/07/2022 20:32

When I was at uni we all had to go into a hall to hear our finals results read out class by class. Just for my subject. Because it was 'tradition'.
Of course you are allowed to be proud of your DC graduating.

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HeddaGarbled · 14/07/2022 20:34

Of course it’s OK to be proud. You can be proud without boasting on Facebook.

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GCHeretic · 14/07/2022 20:35

It’s not only children, any sort of personal achievement seems to make some people arrogant and indignant. It seems able to prompt people to kick off on the subject of privilege, ableism, elitism it any number of other buzz words.

Some if the “worst” achievements on here seem to be earning a good wage and getting into a good university.

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TeenDivided · 14/07/2022 20:39

If people can't be happy your DC graduated then they shouldn't be friends with you on Facebook.

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Luredbyapomegranate · 14/07/2022 20:53

Of course you can

The woman who criticised is a plonker

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HMSSophia · 14/07/2022 21:01

My DD has just been accepted by RADA and I'm proud as can be. So there :)

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GCAcademic · 14/07/2022 21:02

It’s the British way, OP. Anti-intellectualism and knocking people’s achievements.

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MammaWeasel · 14/07/2022 21:06

Jealousy, most likely.

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RaininSummer · 14/07/2022 21:09

Well I posted my daughter's success with a 1st class on FB as a recognition for her hard work and because my friends would be interested and pleased for her just as I would for their kids. Wasn't really bragging but it was a big achievement.

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GiselleRose · 14/07/2022 21:11

Envy is so unpleasant.

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MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 14/07/2022 21:12

God I've been telling everyone who will listen that ds got a 1st AND a Dean's commendation, I don't usually boast but blimey, I'm so proud of him I could burst!

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5zeds · 14/07/2022 21:12

My friends ALL post their good news. I love them why wouldn’t I want to say congratulations? Some of them have children who have overcome huge challenges. What miserable sod wouldn’t want to hear someone’s child had graduated?

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merryhouse · 14/07/2022 21:15

TeenDivided · 14/07/2022 20:39

If people can't be happy your DC graduated then they shouldn't be friends with you on Facebook.

AOL

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WonderWine · 14/07/2022 21:16

RaininSummer · 14/07/2022 21:09

Well I posted my daughter's success with a 1st class on FB as a recognition for her hard work and because my friends would be interested and pleased for her just as I would for their kids. Wasn't really bragging but it was a big achievement.

Yes, exactly this. I’m always pleased to hear what my friends’ children are up to, and their important achievements. I’m genuinely pleased and happy for them, especially if my friends have been sharing the ‘ups & downs’ of the journey over the years!

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justasking111 · 14/07/2022 21:26

My DS and friends have worked so hard the last three years in miserable circumstances holed up in their rooms remote learning coming home for months on end. The university experience we promised him three years ago fun and learning were gone. They'll be a different practice generation of adults, too serious by far

So yes shout their achievements from the rooftop

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easyday · 14/07/2022 21:32

But @HeddaGarbled what is FB for? Sharing good news, holiday snaps, silly pics of your pets, a pretty sunset or info about a great play or exhibit you've been to recently...
That's what I use it for, and only my friends can see it. When my kids achieve something great I'll be posting about it.
Sounds like this woman is jealous of another's well earned reward.

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Guineapiggies · 14/07/2022 21:34

I don't think there is anything at all wrong with posting about your DC's graduation. If people can't share your joy for a big life event then they are not true friends. However, I have a FB friend who blatantly boasts about every tiny little achievement of her seventeen year old DD and it is toe curling as well as totally exaggerated. She also photoshops the DD's photos which I think is sending very strange messages to the girl. It all makes me cringe and it's nothing to do with jealousy. My own DC are achieving very well but they would disown me if I were crowing about it on FB.

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MeridianGrey · 14/07/2022 21:37

HeddaGarbled · 14/07/2022 20:34

Of course it’s OK to be proud. You can be proud without boasting on Facebook.

Have you ever been on Facebook? What else do people post except things they are pleased/proud of. I never go on to do myself or my family down.

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ToastedWaffle · 14/07/2022 21:39

The friend who made the snipey comment sounds like a complete dick. I would ghost her. Does it ever make you wonder what she says about you behind your back? She's Mean Girls territory.

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roarfeckingroarr · 14/07/2022 21:45

Because you could just tell your daughter you're proud. You don't have to do it on Facebook.

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ToastedWaffle · 14/07/2022 21:46

Hope you told her to stfu OP. I had a friend like this once. She slagged everyone off behind their backs. Called one of her friends sweaty, called another friends newborn baby ugly, and it just made me paranoid she was talking about me like this to the group when i wasnt there. I used to pull her on stuff all the time. In the end I decided I couldn't be around her anymore, she was too toxic. So i blocked her and moved on. No regrets.

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ToastedWaffle · 14/07/2022 21:48

roarfeckingroarr · 14/07/2022 21:45

Because you could just tell your daughter you're proud. You don't have to do it on Facebook.

Some people enjoy being supportive of others achievements and like to know what people are up to. Theres no harm in it.

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roarfeckingroarr · 14/07/2022 21:57

@ToastedWaffle yeah I guess. This is why I don't have Facebook. It's not that I'm not happy for people, I really am, I just think feeling the need to put it on social media really lame and cringey. I see the need for validation through likes and comments as weak. That's just me though.

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