Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support V

[kokeshi]

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone who is having any trouble with their drinking, a safe place to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Thank you to all of those who have kept it going thus far, and welcome to anyone who has decided the time has come to ask for help.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

After a sober night last night, and the most horrendous sweats all day today, I am drinking too.

Didn't sleep well, vivid dreams, sweating and anxiety....

My alcohol counselling appt can't come soon enough.

Hope everyone is well tonight, drinking or not x x

Hey Purpleone, tell me about the sweats, they are horrid! I'm drinking tonight, no reason, no excuse, just made the decision to...actually call that no will power...my pathetic excuse to myself is that I had a very stressful filling today

Good luck with the counselling, will you let us know how it goes?

Hey PC and MankyM, how are you both? Fellow drinker over here tonight, haven't yet had more than a glass though, started as late as possible...

MankyM you're a seaside girl! I'm in Bournemouth, can't wait til summer kicks in as we've got keys to a beach hut (not ours, the waiting list is over 10 years - it belongs to very kind friends!)

Evening Kokeshi, Gerbra, Purpleone, Paperchain, MM and everyone else.

Purple you were spot on I was refering to ciao surveys. Some surveys did come in at at 50p or 75p for 15-20 mins of effort. Only works out at £3 per hour and I don't get out my bed for less than £5 per hour . I like the idea of being able to work at home -did you find it worth it? How are you feeling about the clinic? Sounds like you have started preparing the groundwork already .

Was drinking red grape juice this evening (non alcoholic carton variety) - "Is that red wine?" said eldest suspiciously.

Also mentioned excess sweating to Dr who prescribed Anhydrol roll on. Blood tests showed everything else to be 'normal' .

Cross posted .

Thanks for the tip Jelli, I might have a look at that though the main problem for me is during the night. I'd happily use it though if it would stop the sweats?

You must be so pleased about the blood test, does that cover everything, or rather was the test specifically geared towards the effects of alcohol

Thinking of non-alcoholic treats, have you tried elderflower cordial? It is SO good, I highly recommend it...

Gerbra x

Hi Gebra, blood tests were for thyroid, iron, arthritis and B12 deficiency. Thought their must be something wrong with me as I am always so damn tired. May now be earmarked as a hypochondriac but at least it's offical - it's due to ... tiredness .

Speaking of which - night :-)

Oh Jelli, sometimes when you're not feeling 100%, it's nice to have someone officially tell you that you're tired though

Hope you manage to get some much needed sleep, any chance?

I've had a really fraught couple of weeks with work and my holiday can't come soon enough, I tell you... My urge to drink seems to increase proportionately to the amount of work and stress I have on, that indicates problem drinking I guess.

You've done so so well with the abstaining. Do you find you're preferring life without alcohol?

Gerbra x

x-posted again , night night, hope you sleep well

Life has been better without alcohol although I still crave it.

Not drinking has helped to reduce some of the stress as I can think more clearly and can use the time I'd spent drinking or recovering from drinking for doing other things. Being under pressure makes me want to drink. It's as if I am forcing myself to have some sort of break by getting comatosed.

Not sure how I'll manage in the long term but just taking it week to week.

I can't look too far ahead anyway as I would just throw in the towel if I did. It's been the improvement in life by not drinking which has kept me going.

Night x

It's day-by-day isn't it, that's definitely how I've managed even to do even just the odd week without a drink.
Sleep well Jellibabe
gerbra x

Hi gerbra

Of course I'll let everyone know how the counselling goes.

Feeling really wobbly right now though.
A freind just rang me up just as I was getting in the bath. A freind that usually comes over when a weekend of bollockedness is long overdue. We got ratarsed last weekend, and sat them down and let it all out about the extent of my alcohol problem.

Tonight they say 'so how is the no drinking policy going?'
Me 'well, I've managed one night so far' (sounding proud)
Them 'hahahahahahahahahaha'

The lack of praise and support in RL is really getting me down. I often feel I was just put on this Earth to be taken the piss out of, criticised or fucking laughed at.

Sorry x

Hiya, I've not been about recently, it's my birthday today and I've been celebrating all weekend. Very different to how I used to do it! .

Havalina, I was indeed referring to one particular post. I DO feel if you are coming on here, at least put some effort into trying to change your situation. Posting wildly about being drunk and not wanting to give up...well, there's a bar thread just for that.

I think it's important to point out that all of the posters on here are problem drinkers and it's a wee bit insensitive to only come on here when you're bladdered.

Well done to all of you guys who are on here and getting results by the way, if you put in the action, you will get results.

Great to see you all.

x-posted PO. When you get sober, you can give a big 'ol one fingered salute to all the arseholes that like to bring you down. Seriously, you'll be untouchable and they will be threatened by that. Much better for to them to undermine you to keep you in your place. You'll get there.

Oh, I plan on getting sober believe me! The drive and willingness is getting stronger by the day.
I just can't do this on my own, and I'm sure the meds and counselling will help tremendously.
I want those results so bad!

Happy birthday Kokeshi, hope you had a lovely weekend! x x

Gosh, how did I miss all those posts before mine! Hi to gerbra and jellibabe too.

Jellibabe, I think that's a great way to look at your drinking, and it really does get easier with time.

We were out in a restaurant tonight and the thought of booze didn't even enter my head. I lived, breathed, slept alcohol before and believe me it's nothing short of a miracle. I used to go out for 'meals' just so that I could drink...the food was an acceptable diversion, pretty much always left uneaten.

Happy Birthday Kokeshi Hope you've had a fantastic day and are being spoiled, as befits a birthday!

PO, I've come across this so often in RL. Especially with my DP. I've tried (alot of times now) to explain how I feel my drinking is a problem and he'll play it down and (unintentionally) make me feel incapable because I can't simply stop as easily as he can. I also have friends who will laugh at the fact I manage 3 days and then cave (the same used to happen with smoking too).

I think if your friends are drinkers, the chances are they're feeling worried about their situation / their health, and they feel reassured to know that the status quo isn't going to be disturbed?

Anyhoo, have been on here so long tonight, bad Gerbra, am off to bed and will no doubt feel crap again tomorrow (but at least my tooth is fixed!)

Night night all
Gerbra xx

PO, take all the help you can get, it's a brilliant opportunity to make a fresh start in your life. I found counselling helpful, more as a self-reflective tool really. It's helped me tease out exactly what my issues were. Very useful. They'll probably offer you some tools for managing abstinence as well.

Thanks for the birthday wishes, it's been lovely. Bloody scorching up here on Saturday, I was at the RDA stables 21st birthday barbecue and I kept forgetting I was in Glasgow! The poor horses must have been really uncomfortable.

It was funny though, they were offering a free glass of bubbly or a soft drink and by the time I got to the 'bar', they only had bubbly left. So I got a glass of that and wandered over to my family who were looking at me quizzically, and I promptly handed it over to my wee maw. I think she was a bit worried for a split second.

Happy Birthday, kokeshi!

Let me toast you with a hot cuppa Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime tea.

PO, take all the help you can get, it's a brilliant opportunity to make a fresh start in your life. I found counselling helpful, more as a self-reflective tool really. It's helped me tease out exactly what my issues were. Very useful. They'll probably offer you some tools for managing abstinence as well.

Thanks for the birthday wishes, it's been lovely. Bloody scorching up here on Saturday, I was at the RDA stables 21st birthday barbecue and I kept forgetting I was in Glasgow! The poor horses must have been really uncomfortable.

It was funny though, they were offering a free glass of bubbly or a soft drink and by the time I got to the 'bar', they only had bubbly left. So I got a glass of that and wandered over to my family who were looking at me quizzically, and I promptly handed it over to my wee maw. I think she was a bit worried for a split second.

Thanks expat! Great to see you missus. How are you getting along yourself? Are you over that horrid sickness yet?

Dunno what happened there!

Purple, you sound really low. Your appt. is on Wednesday isn't it? I felt the same as you, when my detox was approaching. I wouldn't say I was excited, but SO sick of drinking and all that goes with it. Your friends sound like patronising arseholes btw.

Happy Birthday Kokeshi! Good to hear you've been out celebrating.

Hi to everyone else too.

I've been sober for just over 5 weeks now, and my therapy at the CAT is coming to an end. Group sessions end next Friday and I think my therapist is winding up the CBT as well. I'm glad about the group sessions as it's just me and 2 men now, plus the nurse, and I'm not too comfortable there anymore. Next week we have 3 new members starting, so I should be glad about that (fingers crossed they are not ALL men), but I'm feeling anxious. Today we were all offered to stay an extra week but I've turned it down. I don't want to committ to it and then next week the dynamics of the group change again and I'll regret that I'm not in my final week. I feel a bit pissed off with myself for thinking this way. I'm trying to avoid being in an unpleasant situation for too long, yet I don't even know if it will be unpleasant. If I really like these new members then I'll be gutted to be leaving next week. I have until Friday to change my mind anyway.

I think I've got PMT at the moment and I'm feeling a bit low. I'm not craving for a drink and I think that's down to all the therapy and talking that I'm doing. I wish I could get away from my thoughts for a bit though. Thinking back to my contributions at group today, all I did was moan and get angry. The nurse picked up on it and that made me feel angry at her. Then I felt angry at the 2 men because they were quite chirpy, and have committed to the extra week. I was being really silly and getting resentful that they're not full time mums and don't have to rely on public transport. It's not like I blame them for that and they're not even the reasons that I don't want to stay on.

I've been in bed since 11ish, but can't sleep. All this self pitying is keeping me alert. DP is sleeping on the sofa so that I can at least drop off without him annoying me with his snoring, and I'm just wasting the opportunity to have a blissful, peaceful sleep.

I'll speak to my therapist about all this at CBT tomorrow. I don't really want to though because I hate people knowing that I'm so petty and resentful. I know that's what she's there for though, and it's not stricktly petty if it's bothering me. Then again maybe my hormones will have levelled out by the morning and I'll get some perspective. I will ask her if she's got any tips or tricks to help me get to sleep when I've got things on my mind though. I'm so cross that I'm going to be tired again tomorrow because I've not slept properly tonight.

Oh, this message is massive. Sorry to go on everyone.