Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support V

[kokeshi]

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone who is having any trouble with their drinking, a safe place to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Thank you to all of those who have kept it going thus far, and welcome to anyone who has decided the time has come to ask for help.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

No worries Daisy.

I'll post more on there I think. Can't get it out here, have a lump in my throat and it's choaking me.

And a big hi to Gerbra. Hope you are well x x

things can only get better PO...keep that thought in your mind.

I've gotta get off to bed now; small demanding one had her booster jabs today and is being poorly and ill so I need to get some ZZZZzzzzzzs before she kicks off again.

sleep well xx

Thinking of you PO, you are putting so much effort in, its not on. hi to gebra, and anyone else.

I put the effort in. Was told not to go cold turkey.
Not even got enough money to feed the kids this week, let alone withdraw gently.

I am so tempted to just go and buy some Valium and Campral on the internet somewhere. Keep the dosage low. I know my own body, and have had Valium before.

Filling out that stupid diary. Am sure I've missed a day out somewhere as only had 7 Stellas over the weekend.

Sothing hugs to Daisys SDO DD. Remember those days well. Way before the days of drinking, I had a matress under dd1's cot, so I could sleep and hold her hand through the bars of her cot. DC's are so ratty with jabs. So unbelievably unpacifiable.

Hugs and hope you all sleep well x x

Hey Teasle, don't think we've spoken since you got back, hope you had a good break.

have lurked more this week as I've felt really quite out of control...which is part of the reason I'm STILL not brave enough to go on FB!

Hope you're well.

PurpleOne, I really hope things look up for you. The fact that things have been so crap for you makes me sad/cross cos you've been doing so much positive stuff and it's not fair for life to be chucking bullshit back at you...where there are downs, there will also surely be ups - that's what I always tell myself when things are really crap...

gerbra x

Things look up for me sometimes Gerbra. Just so unsupported in RL, the bullshit always comes back. And that's what hurts the most.
I am trying so hard. Can't even afford to drink for withdrawls this week, with not even a loaf of bread for the kids, nor a hug for me.

Get a ton of support off here, don't get me wrong. But it's not the same as RL.
People keep telling me I'm strong. Maybe I am, but without the RL support, I'm fucked.
Without the counselling, I can't offload. Already over the units this week.

What I wouldn't give for an RL shoulder.

Exh tells me he's off to the Maldives tomorrow...............

Purple, you need someone in RL, is there no one? This is truly shit...

really, there is noone. Just me and the dc's

I live for my kids these days. They keep me alive. They give me reason to get out of bed in the morning.
If it wasn't for my babies, I would've thrown myself under a train last year.

My parents ignore me, cause I asked my mum not to smoke in my home last year. Been 10 months now and have apologised. They have poisoned the family with their venom.

MY supposed best mate (22 yrs fridnship). We had words new year. I asked if I could come down (first xmas without parents) as felt lonely. She expected me to babysit and told me I did fuck all around her house?? okay. I am thankful for the company but not to be berated,,as she knew situ with parents. Tries to befriend my kids by sending them emails (I hack lol) 'has anything improved at home?'. She is new with the birth with a much longed for ds1. She doesn't get it.

And my twatty freind I post about on here too....he knew how important the appt was last week. He hasn't even asked me how it went! Am I so important that I have to remind everyone?

It's the truth Gerbra, there is noone. No dp, no bf. Just me and the dc's.

Can't even withdraw in peace....

No money, what the hell do I do?
Was specificaly told not to go cold turkey. The risk of the DT's is too high

The thought of being sober until Sunday, is just horrifying.

£28 to last until Sunday. Can't even bring alcohol into the equation really. No food for the kids.
But it's going to be hell.

I shake and get cold / hot even just with one night sober.
Wake up drenched in sweat.

Purple, come on, if it's any help to air the shit, bring it on... (please don't stop talking if that's what you need to do, you've been a total rock for me in the past.... xx)

Thanks Gerb.
I will air the shit tomorrow as it were. I can't afford to be late to bed, It will give the EWO more ammunition to fire me with if the kids are late.

I gotta get to bed in truth. I have bloody cried all day, blogged in RL, dealt with kids etc. My head realy fucking hurts.

Glad tohear I've been a rock. Your sobriety and lack of nicotine has inspired me too. My mum slagged me for that.
I honeslty don't feel like a rock right now, just a small pebble.

All I want is a hand in RL. I get the support here/FB/ cyber. But it's not the sdame thing.
I feel shit with offloading too. Feel like I'm waffling, or a burden.

I'm going to bed now though. Have a bad headache, otherwise I won't get up in the morning.

Night all x x x

sleep tight xx

If this is completely way off and immoral, (or illegal then please tell me (politely!) to shove off. But I have 168 Campral I could send you if it would help, PO. Or should you not be taking them anyway? Big hugs xxx

Did you completely give up on the AA meetings btw? The only way I've found it possible to attend (went to another one last night) is because I found someone that I used to know in my late teens/early twenties that I really like, and is funny. Otherwise I found the whole experience far, far too scarey. The shorter meetings are far more useful imho. xxx

HI 2sugars, hope you're ok.
I live in the northeast and have been to a few different meetings round here. They're all pretty small- one daytime one only has around 4 people in it, and they're not scary at all.
Some of the people can be, but then I suppose they're alcoholics with other problems too, and some of the old timers are a bit preachy, but in general it feels like a pretty safe positive place to be.
Noone has ever forced any beliefs on me or anything. I have friends who live in london and the meetings there sound massive- I'd probably struggle with a big meeting.

They may not be for you, but perhaps just go to a few different ones, to see? Or are there any other places you'd like to try? Hope I didn't come across as bossy about the diazepam- I know how awful withdrawals can be, because I've been there a few times, its just its hard to be safe sometimes without proper medical advice?

Hi to everyone else. Gerbra, i always seem to miss you!

Hi to caz too xx

Hello.

I've read this thread and found it really helpful.i've been to my GP and i've also rang and spoke to someone from an alcohol service, and taken have written down lots of suggestions made on here, and am feeling like i'm starting to change things

I was going to post a while ago but it was on a night time and it seemed like people were pissed, so i didn't, because it put me off. sorry

i'm glad this thread is here.

Hi dragonesque (and everybody else!)

What a brave step! I wouldn't have had any medical intervention at all had in not been an ambulance picking me up from a main road.

Would you like to talk about it?

Hi, how is everyone tonight? Just checking in (before the Apprentice final!) to let you all know I'm now on day 3 of no alcohol. The willpower is fading fast tonight but I am determined NOT to pour any wine. Finding it a bit difficult because sitting down to watch TV in the evening is normally accompanied with a glass of wine. Going to have a cup of tea and a bar of chocolate instead.

Hi to 2sugars, Dragonesque and funky.

2sugars - I agree with Teasle. You just need to find an AA meeting that you like. I live in London and the first ever meeting I went to was HUGE! 100+ people crammed into a hospital boardroom. The 2nd meeting I went to was more local and in the daytime, and less people. I don't know his name but the coffee person has exquisite hot drink making skills Am about to dip my toe in again tomorrow.

Dragonesque, nice to meet you. Great to hear about the posiitive changes you need to make, and really brave of you to make the first step. Please keep posting.

Funky - absolutely fantastic on day 3. You must be so proud of yourself. Keep the EAF from whispering in your ear. Try changing your routine if that helps you or doing something different?

Hope everyone else is doing well today?

x x

More to the point PO, how are you today? Good for you for planning on the meeting tomorrow

Hi to dragonesque and well done for posting. Sorry you felt you couldn't post before though . We are usually a very supportive bunch. You sound as though you are taking lots of positive steps...well done to you. Keep postingxx

Well done funky....

2sugars, I've no experience of AA, but I'm sure it's like all groups; you need to find one that has the right vibe for you and where you feel comfortable. I can see that might take a while though and that the ellimination process might be quite resolve-destroying.

Thanks for your words of support, PurpleOne and lackaDAISYcal

I have successfully got through tonight with the help of a Turkish delight bar, some mint AERO and a can of Diet Coke. Got to admit that I almost caved and poured a glass of wine earlier but I knew at the back of my mind that I wouldn't (it could be the support on this thread that reinforced this so thank you all again).

PurpleOne, what is the EAF? Guessing it is the 'Evil Alcohol Fairy'
Good luck for your meeting tomorrow x

well done funkydory....but try not to rely on chocolate too much...bad for the teeth

funky - you guessed right! . That damn EAF.

I'm trying a totally different approach tonight.
Owing to being totally skint and having to have alcohol, I've bought the cheapest biggest bottle of cider I could afford. Hoping to make it last a couple of nights, but am alternating drinks.
Never did it before. Yes, I am drinking but I'm not pissed.

Drinking chicken soup and Bovril (not both together though!). The sweetness of the cider doesn't taste so good with the savoury meaty goodness of Bovril. If I need a sweet kick, guess I could always have cocoa.
But it's working tonight.

That stupid creditor man called back again too. The very same one I hung up on yesterday.
Hid in bed all day today so feeling a bit better I suppose.

Hi everyone! Hope you all had a good/okayish night.

I don't know if you remember me telling you this, but last year when I went to an AA meeting I was befriended by a man who offered to take me home. He was v. friendly and subsequently offered to take me to do food shopping on several occasions. The upshot of it was that he stole both my credit cards and used them to withdraw £2K cash (which Barclaycard made me pay back). What's restored my faith is that my friend in the AA knows about him. He's apparently been selling drugs to an alcoholic paranoid schizophrenic in his meeting. My friend's husband wants him out of the AA, but since he's an alcoholic, and that's the only membership requirement, all they can do is steer newcomers away from him. So some good came of it anyway.

After the meeting on Monday I had to nip in to Sainsbury's - my AA friend said she needed something as well. Now, this is what I find astonishing. I have a 1/2 bottle of red in the cupboard under the stairs to use for a spag bol. Her husband (who she met in the AA) was making her a Jamie Oliver meal that night which required 2 glasses of red wine. She was looking for grape juice to substitute in the recipe, but couldn't find any in the tiny Sainsbury's. She dropped me off, and I offered her the 1/2 bottle, saying 'just chuck it straight in'. Her reply? 'Nooooo!'.

That amazed me, firstly that they had the strength/resolve not to even buy wine for cooking (or accept my offer), but mostly because they were so ready to completely and utterly adapt to their way of life to that extent.

Today I will have been not drinking for a week. Tomorrow it's my birthday and I'm worried. The couple we're going out for a meal with know all about me and my problem, but first we're going round to a couple who are mutual friends and are having a barbecue for their daughter, whose birthday happens to be on Saturday. There will be lots and lots and lots of wine/alcohol there, and they know from the past that I like a drink. I'm a bit worried about my resolve, Tbh.

Musings over! xxx