Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support V

[kokeshi]

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone who is having any trouble with their drinking, a safe place to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Thank you to all of those who have kept it going thus far, and welcome to anyone who has decided the time has come to ask for help.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

Hi Funky
I could've written your post myself. I do exactly that and pour my first glass as soon as dc's in bed. However I don't have any days off!

Kokeshi- I know its a vicious cycle and I know its poor quality sleep, its just taking that first step and knowing I'll have some shit nights sleep.

The last time I had any length of time without drink is through my last pg and I had sleep problems every night, couldn't have dp in with me as I was such a light sleeper. This sleep prob could've been due to pg tho(?) My first pg was ok tho. I'm scared of getting to this point of not being able to sleep with dp, I remember being SOOOO angry with dp for waking me (and it wasn't his fault). On the odd ocassion I don't drink I have probs sleeping but I do wonder if I have linked the 2 together now (unconsciously) and its a mighty powerful excuse to keep drinking iyswim?? Or maybe I'm thinking too deeply hey ho.

And yes I do have problems stopping once I start. Generally I cap myself at 3 large glasses of white wine (dont' drink anything else really, only red ocassionaly). Last night I managed to stop at 3 as I had been going over this excessive amount very recenlty. so small pat on back

i went to gp's about a mionth ago and I thought he'd prescribed some sleeping tabs but I relaised that they were tabs for anxiety (racing mind racing heart etc) and I had to take them twice a day. Not keen to go on permanent meds and in any case I am still bf'ing and it saysd not to take if bf'ing(gp didn't ask and I forgot to tell him) I'm sure there will be something I can take as I only feed once a day. I keep meaning to make another appt. and see a female gp because although I like that gp, he was all very awkward and you could see he doesn't like dealing with mad, on the edge women.

I know it isn't sustainable but am getting to the stage of grinding to a halt and something will have to suffer. I think it will be the business as I am going to take the best part of this week off, I can't take any more. I am swinging between being high anxiety now and very low moods. I think my drinking issues are reflecting whats going on but tbh have had a problem now for years and years.

As a side note someone was mentioning it running in families and I knwo there is a link. I think my sister has a similar problem to me because I can see similar behaviour. I don;t see her that often, she always has a box of weine in fridge and generally has a watered down version in a glass by about 4pm (as I am bf'ing I wait til ds is in bed and start about 8pm and this is the only reason I don;t start earlier, god knwos whats going to happen when I stop!). Also my Dad used to go down the pub every night without fail whn we were kids. I'm sure he drinks every night still. I have quite a few memories of Dad getting pissed. Funny enough Mum is tee total and hates the stuff, thinks its evil (think she's right.)

Sorry witter over. Get so little time to surf I tend to go overboard when I do.

Hello all. I am feeling crap, but here is a smile to see if that helps ..

glow-worm, there seems to be a lot of us in similar situations here, i can relate to a lot of what you say. my mum is an alcoholic and sometimes i cannot believe i drink at all after what she put us kids through. i know i am no way like she was though. my dad stopped drinking dead when my mum finally left and he had to look after me. i totally take my hat off to him.

hi PC, sorry Naswm... how are you? why are you feeling crap? did the smile help? here's one back... (a bigger one)

hi manky

had a shit day - but I did survive it, but I am a wreck now

what abouty you?

ok i think. DS being a nightmare about going to sleep at the mo which has driven me back to the wine, did have alcohol free day/night sat though...

why shit day or you dont want to say?

at least you survived like you say though...

mondays are crap arent they?

sorry about your ds - my ds2 took an hour to go to sleep tonight. v unlike him. ?but it is sooooo warm

Day has been shit for lots of reasons, but mainly because I have been to the dentist for root canal treatment on a front tooth. I ahve a phobia of dentist, whcih links into another phobia of mine, which all stems from horrible incidents in childhood. so last night I had the flashbacks and had to endure the 40 mins in the chair

and generally I am doing badly atm tho. It;s nearly year since I had rehab and the annivesary is just a reminder of the waste I have made of the opportunity and the failure I am

tell me more about your monday manky

hi to anyone else around, lurking or otherwise

my god dentists. i didnt go for 15 years because of the school dentist and what he did. i have spent the last 10 years back and forth, only last month had the tooth 2 on from the front one fall half out. awful.

my nightmares came true in 2002 when (drunk im ashamed to admit) i fell off exPs back doing piggy back and actually smashed my front teeth to pieces. had to have implants which took 2 years of agony and fear to sort out. did cure my fear of dentists though!

how can you be a failure if you've had the courage to seek help and go to rehab in the first place? thats much more than i and probably a lot of people have done.

my monday... was actually not too bad. friend and another friend got into a fight last night (i wasnt there) but got the phone call/dramas this morning. love them both but they are a nightmare together.

DS gorgeous but tired because of bad sleeping thing which has made him grumpy most of afternoon. thats it really, actually a good monday when i think of it...

dentists aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh

men

aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghh hhhhhhhhh

oooh... men!

now i could really, really get going on that subject...

you first...!

just dropping in quickly to say Hi and welcome to funkymummy. Sorry to hear you are having problems with your drinking, but hopefully we can help you get your relationship with alcohol under more control. there are some very good questions that Kokeshi has posted that you might like to ask yourself to try and get things in perpsective. (I think they are on page two or three of this thread). You don't need to share the answers with us, they are more for you to ask yourself. I look at them occasionally to remind myself of why I'm here and waht I'm trying to achieve

Hey glowwormish . Well done for managin to hold back...so a not so small pat on the back from me. Every step forward is a positive one and you should be bouyed by even a minor success.....and tell yourself that you've done it once, you can do it again.

ikwym about the family thing; I come from a family of heavy drinkers, my mum and dad used to get througha good few bottles of whisky every week, and I was relatively OK (apart from the usual excesses of youth) until /i stayed with them when DS was about 6mo old for a few months. that's when I got into the habit of drinking every night...that was six years ago nearly and I'm only now getting it into perspective/under control. My uncle (dad's bro) also died as a result of his alcoholism . My childhood is coloured with memories of Dad coming home from the pub on a Sunday afternoon drinking with his brother and being rude and offensive to everyone and of him ruining everyone's Friday evenings (we used to have video evening and he would say the films were shite and crap and make everyone miserable and demand they were switched off. He would then fall comatose on the floor, wake up and watch them in the wee small hours and then tell us how great they were the next day)

sorry to hear about your sleep issues. I've always found I sleep less when I'm not drinking, but that the quality of that sleep is much better. I hope you can have a frank and honest chat with another GP; there's nothing worse than one who is unsympathetic.

MM...sorry to hear about DSs sleeping issues. I hope things go well for you this week; keep building on what you have achieved

naswm.....sorry you are having a shite day; anniversaries are always difficult, but perhaps you can try to put the last year behind you and try and move forward from this point? obviously I don't know your whole situation so tell me to shut up if that sounds patronising

right, that wasn't quick at all was it???? . I might pop back later....but healthy and well vibes to one and all if I don't

thansk Daisy

men manky, well abuse.... say no more

funkymummy...oops, I meant funkydory

ah.. naswm sorry, i can rant about men (or man in particular) but not like that. hope you dont think i was being too flippant.

out of your life or still in it? (dont have to answer that...)

hi daisy... i like funkymummy... wish i'd thought up that name, bit better than MANKYmummy .

oh manky dont worry~! It was 35+ years ago so I ?should be over it lol

I like funkymummy too why dont you try it manky?

why should you be "over it"? maybe if you are able to put it into perspective thats a good thing, but i dont feel anyone SHOULD be over anything.

i like funkymummy but um... mankymummy is much more me... unfortunately!

maybe i'll morph into a funkymummy in time!

what about funkymanky? you can tell I worked in marketing eh????

Thanks daisy, will have a look at those questions. Hi to everyone else, hope your feeling better after your dental treatment naswm, I had to have root canal treatment recently so you have my sympathy, ouch!

Did ok last night, headed to bed with a magazine and didn't miss the wine too much in the end. I think I am in the zone of a habit/dependence on it so no physical issues if I don't drink on a particular evening thankfully. It was more of a 'what shall I do instead?' feeling. I'm determined to go tonight again without a drink, big tester will be in a couple of days time though I reckon when the willpower starts to dissolve.

hello! i'm new to this, can anyone help? i have a couple of questions that i can't ask anyone else:

1. is it possible to have an 'addictive personality'?
2. how do you find the will power to not drink when you have a full wine rack & bf drinks at least a bottle a day?
3. is it possible for your reaction to alcohol to change as you get older? - after a couple of glasses of wine & after the initial happy feeling i feel huge anxiety, guilt...

hI lazylola.

Do you think you have a problem with your drinking?

think i may be heading down that road if i carry on as i am

Nice to meet you lola. Hope your okay?

Have had the shittiest day today. Haven't felt this low in a long time.
I so want someone in RL to hold my hand right now. I'm terrified.

hey PO...I'm here; what's up?

hi to lazylola and nice to meet you.

Everything comes in threes doesn't it.

Everyone came and 'got' me today. I mean, in the sense that money, the kids, their school. Everyone came and got me.

Not even got enough money left to wallow in my withdrawals this week. So scared.

Will prob put a bit more on FB a bit later.. Hope your well Daisy x x

PO...sorry you've had a shit day , but try to stay positive and focussed on what you are achieving. you are doing incredibly well to be going through this. Can you talk to the service about what's going on? Would that help?

sorry I disappeared; I was catching up on the FB thread.

Purple really to read things have been so crap for you today...sending you a big hug and positive vibes for a better day tomorrow xxx

Hi Daisy and to everyone else, thread seems to have been nice and busy

I've been mostly working and sometimes lurking recently

Hope everyone's okay
gerbra xxx