**TAMOXIFEN 17 **

[MaryAnnSingleton]

blimey- we're almost up to our limit...so brand new shiny,sparkling thread.

Thank you all for the help and advice you have given me over the last few days.

I phoned breast clinic this morning as the dressing was causing me alot of irritation ( forgot to tell them yesterday that i react to the adhesive on plasters and dressing pads doh!) was told to take it off and am know feeling alot more comfortable.

at brave pig/dog topsy - he's just sensitive! - Our first family dog when I was a child was a GS - she was a lovely dog, very gentle.

Summat - it definitely always takes me at least a week to get a GA out of my system - it makes you feel very tired I find. Take things gently

Dig - put it out of mind is def. a good plan, as Cakes said I would take the fact that it's not until Jan. as a good thing.

I will be in touch during my 'confinement' (isn't that an old word for child birth? ) - I'm just going to hang out in my room/the garden if the weather is OK. I have lots of books, DVD's, jigsaw puzzles, and I'll do my online shopping - so plenty to do.

DD is insisting I need to watch a programme called 'Come date With Me' which she has described gleefully as 'really bad' - so I'm settled in my armchair with a cuppa waiting for it to come on.

Hope rads went OK today amber.

I'm making my Christmas cake tonight, - better late than never, it has lots of glace fruits and ginger in it. Yum.

Amber has been zapped. Hurrah! And to cheer me up before this evening, one of the charities I work for has just given me two tickets for the X Factor Finals!!!! Yipppeeeeee!!!!!!

Topsy, ours does that too - can't bear doors shutting with a crash.

Ooh how exciting amber - you lucky old thing

Afternoon all, join me in a glass of Christmas sherry if you fancy one. [fwine]

That's a nice surprise, Amber. It should be good fun. I will be interested to hear exactly how 'orchestrated' it is. I hope all the audience screaming and flashing lights don't upset you too much. Hope the appointment with the consultant goes well and you come to a decision re herceptin.

You seem all ready for your confinement, KK. Enjoy the rest and go easy with the online shopping. . I made my Christmas cake a couple of weeks ago and have been lacing it with brandy. It's the Delia Smith recipe but not the ready-mixed ingredients from Waitrose. I do it from scratch. I couldn't bear to part with my dad or my mum's glasses but my brother knows a charity that collects old specs and sends them abroad so I eventually handed them over as it's such a good cause. I have lots of other things to remember them by.

NK, glad the irritation's going now.

Topsy, pig/dog sounds a real softie. Ours has got more nervous about noises the older he's got. He's 12 today (I've only just remembered ). I'll give him an extra birthday cuddle.

Good to hear the consultant's meeting went well, Sparkles.

Jane, sorry you've had a crap day. The PO are renowned for ringing the bell and running - happens a lot in our village. You sound frazzled. It's lovely you're doing so much for your mum but please take care of yourself too.

Well, I've been a busy bee at school - sewing elf costumes, then a trip to the supermarket and now about to serve up a home-made chilli and rice. Just right for this awful weather. My scar is playing up again. I have about half an inch round by my shoulder blade where my bra rubs and it's opened again so I've resorted to wearing a dressing over it. It feels hot and itchy so I must see a doctor tomorrow to make sure it's not infected. My op was 5th August and I was hoping everything would have settled down by now but apparently not.

Busy busy thread. My bus came but I was waiting at the wrong stop (would have been the correct stop 5 years ago) and I had to watch it turn left and missed it. Aargh. Only every half hour so walked half way and got to Mum's just as the next one did :( Still at Mum's as my brother is coming tonight. I've bought and wrapped some pressies for his two so a little progress on the Christmas front. Been quite weepy today, but that is not so unusual for me when I see Mum. The 'breakdown' word earlier had me in tears too. 10 years since I got myself sectionned - I'm not going to do that again on a hurry! Took a long time to put the pieces back together again, but I did.

Jane, what a pain about the bus. I'm not surprised you have weepy moments after all you've been through, the worry about your mum and auntie and all the running around you do. It's only natural and there will be triggers that set you off when you least expect it. But you sound an incredibly strong lady and sound very 'together' so I am certain you wont be going down 'that' route again. I'm sure your mum will love having you and your brother with her tonight. Take care.

The tickets are from an autism charity, so they're checking all the hazards for me. I'll be taking earplugs and dark glasses and a good friend as a supporter/helper and will know where the quiet space is if I need it. It'll be great!

Jane, arrgh about the bus! And hurrah re the pieces being put back together again. Blimey, the amount of being in tears I've done this week, there ought to be a flood warning. But we'll all get through it together somehow.

KK, sounds like you're well organised for the experience. So we'll still see you on here??

PS staying on herceptin for the time being - seeing if the side effects get any worse. If they do, we'll review it again. A joint decision with my consultant.

Hello ladies.

I had my post-op appointment today.

There were two tumours - a Grade 3 Ductal tumour and a Grade 2 Lobular Tumour which were hormone sensitive.

My lymph nodes were clear, there was no vascular invasion and there was a good margin of healthy tissue surrounding both tumours.

I'm being referred to the oncologist to discuss chemo (a possibility but not a certainty according to my WONDERFUL surgeon), radiotherapy (a definite, but I know what to expect with that so it doesn't worry me too much) and hormone therapy (another definite). I will also have a bone density scan to help with determining the most appropriate hormone therapy.

I've also been told to contact the BCNs to start the process of measuring and fitting the permanent bra insert. And... And... AND....

DH and I are off on Sunday for our mini cruise with DSD2 and her DP. We've got the go ahead to pull out all the stops for Christmas. We can resume our Jive class!!

We're having champagne chez RTNM tonight. Would anyone like a glass?

Yes please! Whew, that's a lot of news all in one go...but it sounds positive to me.

righttit well done -that does sound a good result really-and hooray for pulling all the Christmas stops out -yay !!
figgy sorry to hear that your scar is playing up - do hope there's no infection
amber hooray for zapping and tickets !
The talk of breakdowns jane and smee's db ( @ SIL's reaction)is something that I can identify with- the OCD has in the past had crises where I have been close to that situation-when I was 27 I spent a year in a psychiatric hospital -I got myself admitted as I was so desperate to have it taken away from me -(it didn't exactly work out as I'd hoped-a very interesting experience)
So I do have huge sympathies for those pushed to their limits.

Mmmm virtual champagne. Hurray for clear nodes healthy margins and hormone sensitivity and mini cruise and jive class and Chrismas (pauses for breath...)

A year mas, crickey "interesting" is one way of describing it. I did about 10 weeks, some of it voluntarily, but most not. Pushed to limits is a good way of describing many of the people I met. Took a while for me to readjust to walking around outside, and those green entry control buttons still sometimes make me think...

my hospital was more of a psychiatric community-we lived as a community really-responsible for our cooking/cleaning- committees for everything-there were adults,adolescents and families-divided into 'firms' under a consultant psychiatrist and nurses.There was a lot of supporting one another and group meetings as well as individual sessions. People with lots of different problems there,anorexics,alcoholics,self harmers. Interestingly one of my anxiety dreams involves being back somewhere like that. I learned that some people grabbed all the attention and it was easy for me to carry on doing ritual stuff and not be found out,so although I learned an awful lot about people and mental illness,I didn't really get very far in sorting myself. I was desperate to get out again. I think I thought hospital was somewhere where I could just have everything made better, instead it was hard work !

this was it

Yes, it was hard work. At first I enjoyed being away from all of the stress that had led to the insomnia which sent me into a manic phase, but in order to get out, I eventually twigged that you have to play the system. Sleep at night, keep your room tidy, act sane. I got my driving licence back after 6 months and got the medical restriction lifted after 6 years. Got a paper round after a few months which got me out of the house and meeting people. Eventualy went back to work through a temp agency I had worked for before and repaired the cv. All seems a long time ago now...

wow opening windows onthe second floor. That didn't happen in my hospital - too many jumpers!

There is a lot to be said for living in communities, but I think putting all the different varieties of mental illness together can lead to a very interesting dynamic!

yes,that was interesting ! We weren't allowed any drugs at all, not even paracetamol - when I had an ear ache I was told that it was because I didn't want to hear certain things (!)

Good Morning Everybody ! Hope everyone has a good day and the weather and transport to appointments are ok.

There are not enough hours in the day. My brother left about an hour ago, Mum and I have had breakfast and coffee. Now I want Mum to order Christmas flowers and write several dozen Christmas cards (or let me) so that I can go home before tea time (or I may be in trouble with dh).

Have done and wrapped all the presents for my niece and nephews (quite an achievement for a Christmas Eve sort of shopper). I have one present bought for dh, ds and dd1 and know what I am getting for dd2!

If I had my bike with me I would go for a swim, can't face going by bus as it would take too much time.

anyone?

xpost mas. No drugs would have suited me, I kept refusing them until they threatened to inject me. I still think it was the drugs I was given as an outpatient that tipped me over the edge... Some staff had a chemical cosh approach - they wanted a quiet shift... The quiet shifts were actually the ones where they let us in the art room or the kitchen to do something constructive. lol at not wanting to hear things and no paracetamol.

hope you get everything done today jane and can get back home !

Thankyou for the hug RightTitNoMore. Glad it was gentle as I feel a bit sore this morning. Your results sound good and hope you have a great time on your cruise. Where are you heading - somewhere warm I hope.

Summat - I am just one day ahead of you and still feeling a bit tired and sore. I did manage to walk to the GPs yesterday (took me 30 minutes although would normally take me just 20) so was quite pleased about that. Am just taking things really easy and have been signed off work till after Christmas so don't have to worry about that & my Mum is doing the school run for me this week and buying me jammy doughnuts.

Gosh so many of you with mental health problems. d.h. suffers with depression but as he tells me he knows when to shout for help these days so it is fairly well managed most of the time. Hugs to everyone in need this morning.